A Kiss to Build a Dream On
by Smartmouth62
Summary: Alice, a young architect, meets new boss Jasper and sparks ignite and then fizzle. He wants her back, but it's a long and winding road back into her heart once Alice has been emotionally wrecked. He'll settle for friendship, but not for long. AH, Lemons
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

Alice Swan was always nervous before these meetings. Not only would the client be there, ready to shoot down all of her ideas, but so would Maria, her immediate supervisor. Maria Blake, the supervisor from hell, always had a hard time being impartial when it came to Alice's work. And Alice knew the reason why. Maria hated her because she felt that Alice had slept her way into her position. Alice was well aware that her supervisor believed that there was no way she would be heading up these big projects if it weren't for the fact that she'd slept with the man at the top.

Alice felt that she was always having to prove herself all over again on each and every new project. If she wasn't able to capture the client's imagination immediately in these pitch meetings and bring them on board with her ideas, Maria would be right there telling the client that someone else in the firm would be more suitable for what they had in mind.

As a result Alice had to bring her 'A game' every time she had these pitch meetings. She knew that she was a brilliant architect. Hell, she'd wanted to design buildings since she was five years old and her Barbie townhouse did not meet her design expectations. While other little girls were playing dress-up with their Barbie dolls, Alice was busy sketching her version of the dream home. She still had dozens of notebooks in her bedroom, all of them filled with ideas that had spurt forth from her imaginative little brain. Her mother, Renee, never threw any of her notebooks away; she always supported her and told her that one day she would be a great architect. Renee would even frame her favorite sketches and tell Alice that one day her name would be famous.

Alice could use a little of that belief right now. Suddenly, she felt a wave of sadness, realizing again how much she missed her mom. If Renee were still alive, Alice would not hesitate to call her and get some of that love and support. But instead she had to settle for the hope that her mother was an angel in her corner, pulling for her.

In one respect Alice was glad that Maria was her supervisor. Forcing her to work doubly hard on each and every project had made Alice into one of the most successful architects at Hale Designs. That part of it she was actually grateful for; she was at her best when she felt challenged to prove that she was more than just a pretty face. The fact that Maria really and truly despised her was what got her down. Maria never had a kind word to say to her, ever. Alice could never go in and run ideas by her, never count on her for constructive criticism and never get feedback that was crucial when developing new and creative ideas. That was not the nature of their working relationship.

Unbeknownst to Alice the reason for the hatred was deeper than the fact that Maria couldn't forget or forgive the fact that Alice had slept with Jasper Hale, the owner and CEO of the firm. What bothered Maria no end, was that Jasper _still_ had a thing for Alice, even though Alice had dumped him more than two years ago to marry someone else.

Maria had no designs on Jasper, frankly she despised him too. She thought it unprofessional of him to carry on an affair with an employee, a young woman just out of college. In addition, it annoyed her that Alice was fifteen years younger. It stirred in Maria a memory of herself as a young female architect starting out. She had had a difficult time establishing herself and she felt that Alice had taken the easy road to success, trading sexual favors in return for career opportunity. Maria was an equal opportunity hater, she had as much respect for Jasper as she did for Alice. Zero.

Maria often wondered how Alice did it. How the hell did Alice manage to start an affair with the boss within a week of starting the job? Then get promotion after promotion? Ultimately, after having gotten what she wanted and done with using Jasper Hale, dump him. How did she manage to dump the boss, turn around and marry her handsome young doctor, _and_ still have Jasper so sick in lust with her that he was willing to be at her beck and call? Whatever magic Alice has, Maria thought to herself, Jasper couldn't seem to do without it.

#

Alice walked down the hallway to the conference room at exactly one minute to nine, her assistant, James, walked by her side. They talked quietly as she flirted with him. She'd hired him for his easy looks and his easy conversation. He was witty and smart and she needed that right now.

Bringing her 'A game' meant that not only did she have to bring some fantastic designs to the table, she also had to bring her personality to the table as well. Alice was no stranger to the art of seduction; she wore it like a cloak. She took it everywhere she went, from the bedroom to the boardroom. She wore it differently as the occasion warranted, that's all.

At nine o'clock exactly she opened the door and stepped into the sixteenth floor conference room, a husky seductive laugh shared between herself and James caught everyone's attention. All eyes turned to her and that's the way she liked it. She projected the air of someone who was confident and exciting.

Her appearance didn't hurt either. Alice was five feet six inches but in her shiny cranberry pumps she was five nine. Her hair was a curly caramel brown with natural bronze highlights. Her heart shaped face was in a word, beautiful. She had clear green eyes and a narrow nose and pouty full lips.

Her eyes and hair she inherited from her French Canadian father. Her looks, she got from her mother, who was a mixture French Creole and Native American ancestors. Her mom always joked that she was a walking talking United Nations. Her mom, Renee, was born in New Orleans and she was descended from French Creole, Choctaw, and Cajun. Alice was very proud of that heritage.

Alice's clothes were her armor and she wore it well. She had on a tight cranberry red wool pencil skirt that came to just above her knees. Her cream colored top was a clingy silk jersey knit that wrapped around and tied at her waist. The blouse showed just enough cleavage to entice but not too much to shock. A simple gold chain with two gold wedding bands hung from her neck. Her gold hoop earrings completed the outfit. On any one else the outfit was simple, on Alice the outfit was sexy.

Mr. Glenn Burnett was a Texas tycoon who had come to San Francisco all the way from Austin. His business was booming and he was expanding his offices. He was old enough to be thinking of his legacy and he wanted to leave something beautiful behind bearing his name. The Burnett Buildings had to be aesthetically pleasing not just functional. He chose Hale Designs because he had heard that Jasper Hale had one of the best team of architects in the country. They were making news as a young cutting edge firm and Burnett wanted to see what they could do for him.

He'd had a meeting with Jasper Hale in Austin and he was impressed when Jasper seemed to know what he wanted even before he himself could fully articulate it. Jasper had talked about Alice Swan as someone who could design his building and bring his vision to life. Glenn Burnett wasn't too sure if a woman could do the job, but he was so impressed with Jasper that he was willing to hear the pitch.

When Alice walked into the conference room, Mr. Burnett took notice. She was vivacious and sensual and she captivated the eighty year old tycoon. He briefly wished he was a much younger man. But he started to have serious doubts about her abilities. She was a very, very young woman. She couldn't be more than twenty-five or twenty-six. What did Jasper see in her other than the obvious?

Alice walked over to her client and he stood up to shake her hand. "Mr. Burnett, it's so nice to make your acquaintance." She introduced herself to the other men in the room and nodded to Maria. "Everyone this is my assistant James Hunter and we have a slide show presentation for you." The first few slides showcased Alice's best designs and she described the clients and their vision and how her designs had brought that vision to life. The last few slides were her ideas for the Burnett project. "Well I know you want something of lasting design, and if I could give you the Alamo, I would." Everyone chuckled. "But here is my suggestion." And the last six slides revealed several sketches and computer renderings of a beautiful six story adobe and stucco structure, slightly reminiscent of the native architecture of the southwest but with modern curving lines.

Alice pointed to the slide of the exterior, "The adobe-like façade extends up to the third floor. The exterior columns are reminiscent of the style of the original Mission San Antonio. As you will notice the massive arched doorway is echoed in the niches here and here. The windows of the lower floors are all small and very reminiscent of 18th century southwest architecture. The upper half of the façade is stucco in the same color as the adobe, to provide continuity, but the style is more modern and the windows are much larger."

She showed the next slide. "The arched entrance leads into the lobby which has exposed timber in the ceiling with more stucco and distressed adobe walls. The floor is Mexican tile from Guadalalajara. The gem of this building is the atrium which occupies the center. The entire interior of the building is an open plan," she showed the next slide, "with walls and elevators made of glass to lend it an airy feel. The atrium extends all the way to the roof, which is made entirely of tinted glass. Solar panels, here and here will make this energy efficient."

She clicked to the next slide. "When standing in the atrium or riding the elevators you will be able to look up and enjoy the pure blue Austin sky. And in this next slide you can see enclosed balconies on every floor where employees can enjoy a lunch and or use as meeting spaces." Alice showed the last slide.

"I feel this is the best marriage of the beautiful organic form that you desire and the twenty-first century function that you need. I also believe that the design itself is beautifully classic and will stand the test of time."

The slide show ended and everyone was silent. Alice knew she had some great ideas, but it was up to them to decide if that was what they wanted. Her face was calm but underneath it all she was nervous. Maria looked unbelievably unconcerned and Alice realized that it was a win-win situation for Maria. If Glenn Burnett rejected her ideas, Maria could crow that Alice doesn't have what it takes to be one of the company's top architects. If Glenn Burnett liked her designs Maria could bask in the reflected glory, taking supervisory credit for Alice's hard work. Alice made a vow to herself there and then that she would press Jasper to get out from under Maria's control, pronto.

Maria started to speak, "Thank you Ms. Swan. Well, Mr. Burnett do you need some time to think this over, perhaps confer with your people about…."

"Ms Blake, I don't need any more time. I trusted Jasper Hale and by God he has delivered. I don't mind telling everyone here that when I saw her, I was very skeptical that this little lady would have what it takes to design my building, but she has proved me wrong. I'm sorry Ms Swan, for even momentarily doubting your talent."

Alice gave Mr. Burnett her thousand watt smile. "Please think nothing of it, and please call me Alice."

"Delighted, Alice." Mr. Burnett laughed and put his arm around her waist.

Alice was in her element she flirted with every male in the conference room. Champagne flowed and Alice beamed, "Let's make a toast to the beginning of a beautiful partnership." She knew she had charmed their socks off. She barely spared a glance to the fake smiling Ms Maria Blake. As far as she was concerned, Maria's days as her project manager were numbered.

#

Before Alice could call Jasper, he called her. James peeked in and told her that Jasper was on the phone, calling from San Diego. Alice was grateful for the heads up as the phone on her desk rang and she picked it up. "Alice," his husky voice always had the ability to make her heart thud, "I hear congratulations are in order. Glenn Burnett called and told me about your design. It seems as though you have yet another conquest."

"Well you know Jasper, I can't help it. I have that kind of power over men, there's nothing I can do about it." and she laughed.

"Sure there is. You can tone it down a bit, but I just don't see you doing that." he teased.

"Why should I? It helps me get what I want. You of all people should know that." and they laughed together. Only she and Jasper knew the true nature of their relationship, the relationship that almost everyone in the firm had an opinion about. They felt no need to clarify for anyone. Alice loved Jasper, he was by far the most important man in her life. And Jasper loved Alice right back. They just wouldn't ever be lovers again, that's all. End of story.

"Anyway I want to be the first to congratulate you. I know that you are not just beautiful but a brilliant architect, and I'm happy that you have yet another fan. Pretty soon you'll have them standing in line."

"Jasper you are so sweet, thank you."

"Sweet? I'm not sweet Alice. I just know that I lucked out when I hired you. I want to take you out to dinner, a celebration dinner. I'm flying back to San Francisco in a few hours, can you see me tonight?"

"Sorry Jasper, not tonight. I have plans. But I'd love to see you, soon. How about Thursday night?" Her voice dipped huskily so that he wouldn't take it as a rejection, Alice knew how to please him.

"I guess you're booked for Friday and Saturday night too. Glad that you can fit me into your busy schedule." his voice was light but Alice knew that he was a little annoyed by her busy social life.

"Jasper, if I could I would break this date tonight for you, but I can't. It's with my sister and she needs me right now, she's going through a hard time with her break-up from Chris. I'm spending as much time with her as I can. "

With those words, Jasper was back in good spirits. "Okay, Thursday night it is. I'll pick you up at seven."

"Make it seven-thirty. I have a slave driver for a boss so I can't leave work until six. I need time to look beautiful."

"Hah. Now I'm a slave driver. And you are such a liar, I know that you don't need any time at all to look beautiful. You are beautiful no matter what you wear or don't wear. Remember, I've seen it all."

"Yes, I remember. As a matter of fact you won't let me forget it, you keep bringing it up. But I'll see you Thursday at seven-thirty. Bye." Her voice was sultry.

"Seven- thirty it is, Alice. Wear something sexy." He chuckled at her gasp. "Bye." His voice was husky and soft.

Alice was going to have to be extra careful Thursday night. She knew that Jasper would try to get her into bed and she had no intention of going down that road again and becoming his casual lay. "Although," she thought, "I can't imagine a better man to have in bed." She and Jasper together were magic. Alice sat there at her desk thinking back on the relationship that started like wildfire almost three years ago.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter One

_Two and a half years earlier_

IN October 2007 Alice Swan was twenty-three years old, and had recently graduated summa-cum-laude from Pratt in New York. After graduation she had spent the summer in Europe. Her mother had given her the money to go on her dream summer vacation, visiting all the architectural wonders she had previously only read about. Athens, Rome, Florence, Venice, Paris, Madrid, Barcelona, London, she hit them all. She'd come home full of creative ideas and looking for a job where she could bring those creative ideas into fruition.

She interviewed for big firms and small firms all over the Bay Area, but couldn't land a job. She was too young, too inexperienced, too this or too that. She started wondering whether she should head back to New York and get her feet wet in the larger job market there, then return home after a few years. But her mom begged her to keep looking, to at least give it until the end of the year.

It was late October when she walked into the swank offices on the sixteenth floor for the interview at Hale Designs. Beyond excited because she had recently read an article about the firm and its genius CEO, Alice's adrenaline rush was off the charts. Just the thought that she may actually work at this cutting edge firm had her pulling out all the stops. She dressed to impress 'Alice style', which was a little outlandish but not, she hoped, too edgy for a small, cutting edge architectural firm in San Francisco. She had picked up an outfit in London that she just loved. It was a cream leather jumpsuit. It was very snug, the cut emphasized her small waist and her sleek curves with a built in utility belt which rested low on her hips. It had a zipper front that ran diagonally from just above her right breast to low on her left hip. The legs flared slightly and she paired it with stiletto heeled boots. She thought that she looked cool, like Emma Peel in the sixties show the Avengers.

But the interview was interminably long and boring and the two people who interviewed her were the two most morose characters she had ever met, Maria Blake and Jonathan Reed. She knew by the smirking glances they exchanged that they didn't think her outfit was cool and she knew that they didn't think she was a "fit" for their firm. They asked her every question they could come up with and her answers were on the money. She knew that she was aceing the interview but she also knew that she wouldn't get the job.

At the end of the longest ninety minutes of her life, she stood up and they shook her hand and told her that they would be in touch. "Yeah, right!" she thought to herself as she walked away, the dreams of that morning dashed. Glumly waiting by the elevators she perked up when a sexily handsome, thirty-something blonde hunk came to wait next to her. She knew he was eyeing her, she felt it and it made her heart skip a beat. The day didn't have to be a total loss after all. Never one to wait for an opportunity to say "hello", Alice leaned her right shoulder against the wall that separated the two elevators and looked up into his cobalt blue eyes.

"Did anyone ever tell you that you look a lot like Jude Law?" she asked, almost purring.

His body turned in her direction and blue eyes surveyed her appreciatively. Taking in every curve that was visible, his tongue appeared briefly to lick his lower lip. Alice almost swooned. "A couple of times." he responded with a smile.

"Well they were wrong, you're much better looking than he is." She said. "Trust me, I've met him." Alice was not above lying for attention.

He smiled, "Really? How did you manage to meet Jude Law?" he was not taking her seriously, which was good, it meant he had a sense of humor.

"Well I spent the summer in London and I applied for a job as a nanny, and one thing led to another and before long…well, you can imagine…." She trailed off suggestively.

He started to laugh, a nice husky laugh. "I can imagine…?"

"And you have a much better laugh. He has an uptight proper kind of tight-ass laugh."

He laughed even harder.

Alice stepped closer to him and lowered her voice. "But Jude was a lot more exciting than you, he did invite me out to lunch…" Alice waited raising an eyebrow.

He checked his wrist watch. "Well, I'm heading out to meet with a client right now, but how about a drink later. Say about five o'clock?" He was near enough for her to feel his breath on her hair.

She pulled back a little. "Rats, I'm sorry, but I have a date this evening." She looked suitably regretful, pouting prettily as though she wished she didn't have that date. (In reality she didn't have a date later, but Alice made it her personal policy to never be too available when men asked for dates, even if she was free.) "Maybe some other time?" She felt a buzz in her purse, "'Scuse me?" she smiled and directed her attention to her vibrating phone to check the screen, hoping to get a call from another firm. No luck, the missed call was from her mother. Alice felt him staring as she scrolled through her messages.

The elevator pinged open and they both stepped inside. It was empty and Alice raised an eyebrow and smirked when he pressed all sixteen buttons so that they all lit up. Hiding her delighted smile, she went to one corner and he went to the other. _Let the games begin_.

"What's your name?" he asked her.

"Alice. Yours?"

"Jasper." he smiled. Alice thought that he had the sexiest smile she had ever seen. "Are you here on business or pleasure?" he asked. The elevator opened onto the fifteenth floor but no one came in and the doors closed again.

"Job interview. You?"

"Business. How was the interview?"

"Not good." She sighed, "Actually none of them have been good. I've been looking for two months." She laughed and shook her head, "I'm beginning to wonder who I have to sleep with to get a job in this town." The elevator doors opened onto the fourteenth floor, no one came in. The door closed again.

Jasper chuckled. "Well, that would be me. I'm San Francisco's official-sleep-with-person. Every major metropolis has one, you know."

Alice laughed louder. "You can't fool me. You're too good looking for the position. Doesn't that job usually go to the old, greasy, sweaty guy?"

"Once I get going I'm pretty sweaty." he said wickedly. Alice's heart thumped, imagining him sweaty _and naked_. Her eyes ran down his tall frame, undressing him mentally. She liked what she saw. The elevator opened onto the thirteenth floor and one man came in. He was on his cell phone. Jasper stepped a little closer to Alice as the doors closed again.

"Well you must be a _very_ hard worker, to get so sweaty." She pitched her voice lower, more intimate.

"Well, I take my job_ very_ seriously. You might say that I put my all into it." The elevator opened onto the twelfth floor three people came in. Jasper slid even closer. The doors closed again.

"Do you like your job, Mr. official-sleep-with-person?" She asked as she ran her index finger down his tie to where it ended at his belt.

"Oh, I like it very much, especially when I get to ask the gorgeous young woman in the skin tight white jumpsuit about the job of her dreams." The elevator opened onto the eleventh floor. Three more people came in. Jasper moved right up next to Alice. She moved her index finger side to side above his belt buckle, slightly caressing his abdomen through his shirt.

"Well, how do you find out what the job of her dreams is if you don't take her to lunch?" Alice was looking up at him with a teasing smile, her eyes flickering back and forth from his blue eyes to his sexy mouth and back again.

"I take her for a slow ride in an elevator and I ask her." The elevator opened onto the tenth floor and one person came in. Jasper and Alice were inches away from touching. The doors closed again.

Alice smiled into his eyes and purred again. "And when do you do the 'sleep with' part, before or after?"  
Jasper's smile widened as he winked, a devilish dimple creasing just to the right of his lips. "Usually that comes before, to give me an extra incentive to work on it. Then again after, when the job delivery is complete." The elevator opened to the ninth floor and four people got on. The crush of the crowd was pushing Jasper so near he was now pressing Alice into the corner.

She hooked her index finger onto his belt and tugged him even closer. Her voice was low, just above a whisper, and her warm breath tickled his lips. "Well Mr. official-sleep-with-person, I want a job as an architect at Hale Designs."

"What are your qualifications Miss Alice?" His voice was just above a whisper, low and sexy.

"Well, I graduated summa cum laude from Pratt and I have two years internship with a top flight New York architectural firm. And…" she ran her tongue over her top lip and winked, "…I'm good at what I do. Really good."

"That's hard to believe." He said and Alice raised an eyebrow. "You being really good, I mean." He put his lips to her ear, "I peg you as being very, very bad." The elevator stopped at the eighth floor and one person got on. The doors closed again.

Alice chuckled. "Well, I meant I'm very good at architectural design. I think I aced the interview but that woman frowned on my outfit, can you believe that?" she pouted. "She has no sense of style. I was trying to channel Emma Peel. Unfortunately, they were not impressed."

"Ahh. Emma Peel from The Avengers. Do you know her as well as you know Jude?" The elevator stopped at the seventh floor and no one got on. But Jasper moved in closer anyway. His thighs braced to the side of hers. The doors closed again.

Alice slipped a button through its hole and reached in and touched his navel. His muscles clenched and she let out a soft moan. "I must confess that I know Jude a little better, but Emma and I are very close."

"I'd like to meet her one day."

"If you take me to lunch, I might let her come out to play."

The elevator opened onto the sixth floor and the door opened and closed. Alice tugged his belt again and ran her tongue over her top lip again and Jasper couldn't resist. He bent down to kiss her. His lips barely touched hers, but the electric charge was instantaneous. She put her left hand at the nape of his neck and held him there to prolong the kiss. The tip of her tongue licked the edges of his lips and slid in to caress the tip of his tongue. He let her play for a few seconds then he took control and hungrily pressed his tongue into her mouth to slide against hers. Alice was a goner.

Five, four, three, two, one.

Everyone got off the elevator, except the two people who were kissing in the far right corner.

Jasper pulled his lips from hers. "Break your date tonight." he begged huskily.

Her voice was breathy but her eyes twinkled teasingly. "For a measly drink? I don't think so. I'm not giving up dinner with a handsome latin hunk for a happy hour drink with Mr. official-sleep-with-person." She softened the rejection by smiling. "No matter how good a kisser he is." She reached up and pulled his head down to kiss him again.

Jasper broke the kiss and grabbed her hand. "Okay. Let's go." He grabbed her elbow as they walked out the building and he hailed a taxi.

"Oh, are we going out to lunch after all?" Alice was elated as they slid into the backseat.

"Yes, with a client. Let me see your portfolio." He opened it and flipped through it. A look of admiration crossed his face and Alice leaned over his shoulder to look at her designs. Every time she saw them she liked them even more. "I want to see your resume." He read it quickly. "Okay. A lot is riding on this meeting, depending on how you perform with this client, you have the job."

Alice, thinking Jasper was taking his "official sleep with person" joke to new heights, found his statement very amusing. But something in his manner made her more than a little curious. She was about to ask questions when Jasper dialed someone on his cell.

"Jonathan this is Jasper. You and Maria interviewed a young lady today her name is Alice Swan. I just hired her. She starts today." he hung up. "Alice Swan, I'm Jasper Hale."

Alice's jaw fell open; then she quickly recovered and started to laugh. "Well, well, what a surprise. So you're the famous J.W. Hale, huh? "

"In the flesh." He smirked.

"Yeah, in the flesh. Your picture in that magazine didn't do you justice." She reached over and touched his belly again as she slowly rebuttoned his shirt. "Was it the cum laude or was it the come hither that got me the job?" She asked cheekily.

"All of that plus the resume and portfolio, and the kiss. Mostly the kiss." and he bent down to kiss her again. They didn't stop kissing until they arrived at Aqua.

#

That was the beginning of their affair. Alice, who had never met with a client before, learned, in the first few minutes with Jasper, how to conduct a business lunch. Jasper was smart and engaging. But he was also too honest to be insincere. He called a spade a spade and the client respected him for that honesty. Jasper introduced Alice as the newest rising star on their team. Alice held her own, charming the client. Not even one day on the job she helped seal a deal on a new office complex in Silicon Valley.

After the client left, the business lunch turned personal. She and Jasper drank a champagne toast to her new job and the new deal. All the while she had been sitting there she had wanted to touch him. She ran a hand up the sleeve of his jacket and lightly squeezed his bicep. "Tell me Mr. official-sleep-with-person, how long before you collect your fee?"

"Well, now that I have revealed my true identity, Jasper Hale superhero job getter, I'm not sure that's such a good idea." He smiled at her.

"You mean I get the job, but not the perks? That doesn't seem fair." Alice wrinkled her nose, she was not happy with this plan at all.  
"Right. Well, in these, the early days of the twenty-first century, the days of sexual harassment lawsuits, it would be very unwise for me to indulge my desires with you."

Alice ran her hand along his thigh. "But you said that the kiss sealed the deal. Wouldn't it be wrong of us to turn our backs on the deal maker?" Her hand came to rest on his hip.

"What are you suggesting, Ms Swan?" He turned slightly in his seat and his knees touched hers.

"I'm suggesting that I sign a waiver or something and we get it on." Alice was direct.  
"A waiver? You mean a legal and binding contract that prevents you from bringing a sexual harassment lawsuit against me and my company?" He smiled, liking the idea.

She smiled prettily in return, her green eyes sparkling. "Yes, that's exactly what I mean. If you don't agree, I'll have to turn down my dream job."

"You would do that? Why?" Jasper was enchanted with this girl. He had never met anyone like her in his life.

"Because there are other jobs out there but not other Jude Laws, I mean Jasper Hales." She laughed teasingly.

They left the restaurant and hailed another cab. They walked into the law offices of Solomon, Rudolph and Duncan. Alice and Jasper met with his lawyer and the waiver was drawn up and signed.

"Well, where shall we go next?" Alice asked when they left the law office.

Jasper wrapped his arms around Alice's small waist and pulled her close to him. "How about my place?" He bent his head and kissed her.

"Yes, please." Alice breathed in agreement once he lifted his mouth from hers.

Jasper lived in San Francisco's Russian hill neighborhood. He had a large flat but Alice didn't get to see it that afternoon. He opened the door with the key and Alice reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. With their lips still connected they took off their clothes and she and Jasper tumbled naked onto the sofa. Alice hadn't had sex in over a year, not since she'd broken up with Jake, and she was eager to feel that goodness again.

Jasper kissed her deeply, his tongue was stroking hers. His fingers were playing with her nipples. He pulled his mouth away. "Alice have you been tested?"

Alice panted. She moved his hand to the throbbing nub between her thighs and moaned. "Yes, twice. A year ago and then six months ago. I'm fine. I haven't slept with anyone since. You?"

"I was tested five months ago. I'm fine. I've had sex, since but always with a condom. One partner, since then; no risky sex." He rubbed her nub and she moved her hips against his hand, grabbing him behind his neck and pulling him down for another deep, wet kiss.

He pulled his mouth from hers and gasped. "Are you on the pill?"

"No." she panted. "IUD. But I still want you to use a condom."

"I know." He kissed her lips. "I will." He kissed her lips again.

"Where _is_ the condom for God's sake?" Alice was ready.

"I have some in the bedroom." He pulled her off the couch and slung her over his shoulder, Alice squealed. He carried her down the narrow hallway to his bedroom. He threw her on the bed and reached into the nightstand for the condoms. It was three o'clock and the autumn sun was high and bright, lighting up the bedroom. Alice feasted her eyes on his body as he stood next to the bed putting on the condom. Jasper was six-one and about one-eighty. He was slim but muscular. He was tight all over and mother nature had been very, very good to him. Alice couldn't wait. A shudder rippled down her spine as she stared at his body in anticipation of the next few minutes.

Jasper turned around to face her and he was fully erect and ready. He grabbed her ankles and pulled her almost to the edge of the bed. Alice opened her thighs in anticipation. Jasper knelt between her legs and reached down to kiss her again. Her lips opened and she moaned hungrily as their tongues met. "Ride me, hard." Alice begged.

He laughed his husky laugh, Alice bit his chin and held his swollen wand in her hand, guiding it into her, she stopped to rub the tip against her eager nub and she was ready. He sunk his body slowly into hers, lord but he was huge. Alice felt tight and eager. When he was in all the way, Alice felt her inner muscles start to quiver. As he pulled out her walls tightened around him and he moaned. She relaxed as he pushed in slowly and tightened again as he pulled out. He increased the pace and Alice's hips rose to meet his. They had the rhythm going and they picked up the speed and power. Alice heard him grunting and she heard the slick, wet sounds of their sex. He stroked her good, pushing up against her sweet spot. "Oh Jasper, that's it, right there, fuck me hard."

He reached between them and stroked her nub with his thumb and she responded with a gasp and moaned, "Oh, yeah, baby." She felt the clenching ache that comes just before the release and she started to come. She gripped the sheet in both hands as she felt the electric charge run from her nub up her body and to her brain. "Ohhhh, yeees." she groaned. "It feels sooo goood." The charge coursed back down her spine and curled her toes. "Mmmm." Her body took over, because her brain ceased to function. She shuddered inside and out, her green eyes opened and she saw Jasper's hard jaw and tight face, just before his eyes closed in similar bliss.

"Ohhhh fuuuck, babe. Your pussy is so goood." His body jerked then stilled and spasmed again, then he collapsed into her arms.

Alice spent that whole afternoon and evening in her new boss' bed. They were lovers within three hours of setting eyes on each other for the very first time.

#

"You said that you haven't had sex in over a year?" Jasper asked as he stroked her thigh.

Alice ran her hand over his golden locks. "Not since I caught my boyfriend in bed, rehearsing."

"Rehearsing?" He shook his head, "Explain."

"Well he, Jake the snake, is a struggling actor. Struggling with fidelity more than anything else. One afternoon, I let myself into his apartment to surprise him and he was with an actress, in bed, naked. He said that they were 'rehearsing' for a part in an off-Broadway play but it looked a little too realistic to me. I walked out after taking his bat and wrecking the place."

"So, why has there been no one else since then?"

"Well, for a time I decided all men were no good shit eating dogs- sorry- then before I knew it, the last semester of school was upon me and I needed to spend time really concentrating on my classes. Then I traveled this past summer throughout Europe. Plenty of chances for a fling, but I don't have one night stands, I like long term relationships. So, that's why. How about you, when was the last time you had sex?"

"Well, I've had sex more recently than that, last weekend in fact. I have a friend, Sue."

"And? What's the deal? Do you love her?"

"Well, no. She's more a friend than girlfriend. It's convenient. We've been having sex for a while."

"What's a while?" Alice was getting upset.

"Six, maybe seven months."

Alice sat up. "Hmm! So why are you in bed with me?" _You fucking jerk._ She almost added but bit her tongue.

He reached for the hand nearest his and kissed the palm. His beautiful blue eyes were soft. "I'm not in a committed relationship with her. Plus her kisses don't make me feel the way yours do." And he tugged her back into his arms.

"I want exclusive sex with you. I don't share." Alice whispered.

"You won't have to. I'll break it off with Sue immediately."

Alice pulled his head down to her and they made love again. She felt just a twinge of pity for Sue.

#

Jasper drove Alice home close to midnight. Alice had had sense enough to call her mom that afternoon to tell her that she had met an old friend and that she would be very late. They had made love all afternoon and evening. They ordered pizza and ate it in the bed and made love again. When they got to her home she and Jasper almost had sex in the front seat of his car, parked in the driveway of her house.

"I can't. I want to, but I can't." she whispered in his ear.

"Why not?" He had unzipped her jumpsuit down to the navel and was sucking her nipple. He was trying his best to get the damn thing off.

"I can't be sure, but I think my mother is watching us from the window." She whispered.

Jasper couldn't see a person but he saw that one of the curtains was drawn aside. "Oh shit." he hurriedly zipped up her jumpsuit and took a few deep breaths. "Do you mind if I don't come up?" He indicated his arousal.

"Yes, I do mind. She won't invite you in, it's late. But she wants to see what kind of person I'm with. If you don't walk me to the door like a gentleman, she'll never like you. And believe me you can't afford to let Renee Swan dislike you."

Jasper waited another few minutes, and then walked around to open Alice's door. He held her hand and walked her up the steps. Alice opened the door with the key and he kissed her hand. "See you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow."

#

"Alice, what have you been up to?" Renee Swan was very direct. Her daughters were the two most important things in her life, bar none. She worried about them constantly. Eighteen year old Bella, culinary student, was sweet and calm. And she never gave her mother cause for worry.

But Alice was another matter entirely. From the age of sixteen, Alice has been giving her mother a difficult time. Alice was headstrong, determined and very independent. In addition to that she was so gorgeous that men literally fell over themselves to please her and give her whatever she wanted. The combination of youth, willfulness and sexual power was difficult for Renee to harness.

"Mom, I got a job. I started today. Isn't that wonderful?" Alice prevaricated as she walked to the couch.

"What kind of job keeps you out until midnight on the first day? What kind of job has a man feeling you up in a car in the driveway?" Her mother didn't believe her, and not only that, Alice realized that she _had_ seen everything that she and Jasper had been doing in the dark car.

"Mom, stop and listen, will you? I went for an interview and met with the owner of the company and I got a job. Honestly."

"Tell me more." Renee knew that Alice was hiding something.

"Well the name of the firm is Hale Designs and it's an architectural firm specializing in artful office complexes. They want creative designs not just big concrete boxes. I think he was impressed with my education as well as with my portfolio. I'll start at the bottom rung, but there is plenty of room for advancement. I'm very excited."

Her mom was quiet, waiting. Alice waited too. The silence grew until it almost throbbed in the quiet room.

"Who was that in the car?" Renee shot at Alice.

"A friend." Alice's comeback was quick, too quick.

"What's his name?"

"Jasper."

"Never heard of him. Who is he and how did you two meet?"

Alice had not prepared for this question. "Mom, why is that important? He's a nice guy. I like him a lot and I want to keep seeing him. And he wants to keep seeing me too."

"Well, I think it's important because you won't tell me _anything_ about him, other than a first name and that you like him." Renee waited, refusing to back down from the interrogation."So?"

"You know what mom, I need to move out of here. I had my own life when I lived in New York. No one questioned me about where I'd been or with whom and I liked it that way. You can't put the genie back in the bottle. I've been out of this house for five years, and I am a woman not a child." Alice glared.

Renee glared right back. "Well move out then. But until you do, this is my house and my rules. If you don't want to obey my rules, get your own place. You have until the end of the month." Renee got up from the chair and took a step to leave the room.

"Mom," Alice called after her, "the end of the month is nine days away! I can't get a place so quickly."

"Well you better start making some calls tomorrow, then." Renee walked to the living room door, heading for bed.

"Mom, wait." Renee turned around. Alice reluctantly filled her mom in on the details. "His name is Jasper Hale and he's the owner of the company that hired me. I met him today after I finished the interview."

"Alice!" Renee had experienced almost everything there was to experience with her daughter, but this was a shock. "You're not having sex with your new boss, are you?"

"Yes." She looked defiantly at her mother. "Why shouldn't I? Lots of people meet and date on the job."

A look of utter astonishment lit up Renee's face. "Alice! This is shocking behavior, even for you! For one, you just met a man today and you've already had sex with him. What's wrong with you? That's not how I raised you. For the other, he is your _boss_. Is he an idiot? He can't carry on an affair with an employee."

Alice rounded on her mother and her beautiful face was alive with excitement and haughtiness. Her eyes were flashing with fire and her nose flared in anger. Renee was transfixed, her daughter looked like a wrathful goddess. "Well, I don't care. I fell for him and I wanted him and he felt the same way and so we made love. And we'll do it again, and again. Why shouldn't we? He's not married, and neither am I." Alice picked up her hand and ticked off each finger as she spoke. "One, I signed a waiver vowing not to sue for sexual harassment. Two, he also signed an agreement not to use our personal relationship against me, no matter how it turns out. Three, he is not my direct supervisor and he won't interfere with the chain of command. Four, we will keep our relationship outside of the office, inside it will be strictly business. Five, there is no policy against dating at Hale Designs."

"You signed a waiver?" Renee zeroed in on that little nugget. She was again astonished by her older daughter.

"Yes. It was my idea. Otherwise I would not have taken the job. I want him more than I want the job. And believe me I want the job very badly." Alice's chin was firm, her jaw was set in a determined clench.

Renee stood there for a very long time, staring at her daughter, wondering how on earth she could have given birth to this unbelievably beautiful, amazing, confident, determined, yet crazy young woman. She had to hand it to her, Alice knew what she wanted and she stopped at nothing to get it. If she put all that determination into her career, Renee had no doubt that her daughter would be very, very successful.

"Why? What is it about him that made you do all that?" Renee finally asked, at a loss to figure out her daughter's rash behavior.

Alice could not answer right away. Once she and Jasper had started flirting everything else had happened so quickly that Alice had had no time to stop and wonder why she had behaved so wantonly. "I don't know, mom, maybe it's love, true love." Alice shrugged.

Renee shook her head. "No." She said quietly. "There is no maybe when it comes to true love. Just don't forget to lock up." Renee turned and went upstairs to bed.

Alice stared after her mother. All the passion and anger had just drained right out of Renee. She had looked awfully sad and tired, Alice reflected. She was pretty sure that her mom was upstairs right now crying for her father. Tears sprung to Alice's eyes. Poor Renee, widowed at the age of twenty-six, her true love gone, forever. That night Alice cried quietly into her pillow, for her mother and her father, but also for herself.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Two

The first day on the job was full of ups and downs. Alice showed up exactly at eight, even though she didn't have to start until nine. Alice was always on time, it was her one true virtue. She wore a burnt orange silk jersey dress that hugged her body in all the right places. It had a deep v-neck, sleeves that ended just below her elbows, and the hem came to just above her knee. With it she wore a brown silk scarf at her neck to hide her cleavage and a belt made of big gold links. The belt settled right at her hips. Nude silk stockings and dark brown slingbacks completed the outfit. She thought she looked corporate.

Her dress was perfectly respectable, but somehow on her body the dress was more revealing than she realized. Heads turned as she walked through the lobby, her caramel curls bouncing.

She had just made it into the elevator and the doors were sliding closed when someone stuck their hand in and they re-opened. Jasper came in and maneuvered himself against the back wall and stood right by her. Her heart thumped and her knees went weak. Her full lips curved into a smile as she looked down at her shoes. "It has to be a secret." she repeated in her head over and over again. She hadn't realized how hard it would be to hide her smile when she saw him. She felt his hand on her lower back, he slid it further down and caressed her bottom. Alice felt liquid heat between her thighs.

The elevator moved upwards, emptying its occupants a few at a time on each floor. It was a slow process. On the fourteenth floor the elevator doors opened and the last two women got out. The door closed with only Alice and Jasper remaining, as soon as it sealed them in he turned and pressed his body against hers and pushed her into the corner. She responded by pressing herself against his long lean body. It felt so good.

He kissed her quickly and drew away before it became too intense, then lazily murmured, "I'll call Maria at about eleven for her to bring you to my office where we usually welcome the incoming architects. I e-mailed Jonathan this morning and informed him that you were recommended by a professor at Pratt that I know. So as far as they're concerned, that professor is our connection." The elevator doors opened onto the sixteenth floor. Jasper started to get out.

She grabbed his arm to delay him. "Wait! What's the professor's name?" She whispered urgently.

"Plum. Professor Plum." he winked and walked out of the elevator.

Alice burst out laughing. She laughed so hard that she couldn't get off the elevator. She stood in the corner, laughing and clutching her belly. The elevator doors started to close and she hurriedly pushed and held down the 'door open' button and staggered off the elevator, her body still shaking with laughter. She couldn't stop. The receptionist at the giant curving desk looked at her oddly.

Alice gasped, "Can you tell me where the bathroom is?"

The receptionist, a pretty young blonde, pointed down the hall to the right.

Alice suppressed her giggles as she made her way down the hallway to the bathroom. She had to take some minutes to recover and repair her make-up. Every time she thought about Jasper, she thought about Professor Plum. How on earth was she going to keep a straight face? Was she supposed to be Ms Scarlett in the conservatory? Or was he Mr. Green? Better yet, was he Mr Body in the library? "That's probably a better choice," she said to herself, "he does have quite a body!" she giggled again.

Alice returned to the reception area after a few minutes. She introduced herself as the new architect and asked to see Ms. Blake or Mr. Reed.

"Ms. Blake isn't here yet, but I'll call Mr. Reed."

Mr. Reed came within seconds. "Hello Ms. Swan, it's a pleasure to welcome you to Hale Designs. As I told you yesterday, I'm personnel manager and Ms Blake is Sr. Project manager. "We'll go to my office, where you'll sign a few papers; your contract and medical benefits." It took no time at all and then she was back in the hall. "I'll show you to your office and you can get settled and then I'll introduce you to your supervisor and your co-workers."

Alice was surprised, she could hardly believe that this was the same morose Jonathan Reed that she interviewed with yesterday. He was smiling and engaging. He stopped by a cubicle every now and then to introduce her to the people she'd be working with and then continued down the hall to her office.

"And here is your office." He said with a flourish as he opened a door. Alice was impressed. The office was much larger than the cubicle she had imagined. There was a large wooden desk a drafting table, a leather armchair and a small table with a bamboo plant. One accent wall was painted in a sapphire blue color and the other walls were off-white. It had an airy, breezy feel. The fourth wall had a large window with a view of the Bay Bridge. "Wow, what a view!" She gasped.

"Take a few minutes to settle in and I'll send my secretary in to help you get supplies and whatever else you might need. Your supervisor will be Paul Kincaid and he will be here at about nine-thirty to give you a rundown of your duties, you will be working directly for him."

"Thanks."

"You're very welcome." Jonathan closed the door and she was alone. "Wow." she said again to herself. "This can't be true."

She wondered what the other offices looked like if this was the office that was given to the newest, most junior architect. Then she started to worry. _Was this office given to her because Jasper requested it? _She decided that she would start snooping. She opened the door and bumped into a short young woman, who was just about to knock, she was probably in her early twenties.

"Oh,hi, I'm Lauren Yee. Jonathan's secretary, he says that you need some supplies and maybe some other things."

"Yes, Lauren, come on in." Alice tried to make a quick assessment of her. "What do you usually order for the new hires?"

"Well I usually don't order for most of them, they usually go to the supply room and pick most things up. But I guess when they need to they usually order draft paper, pencils, erasers, tape, push pins, markers, you know… supplies. Except for Tommy Grant, he orders a bunch of artsy shit. He's really an aspiring artist, this just pays the rent you know. Then there's Coreen, she is really particular about her brands, so I don't do anything for her." Lauren Yee chewed her gum and waited tapping one foot.

Alice realized that she couldn't ask Lauren Yee anything about her office, if she did it would get around. "Okay, go ahead and order the supplies you think I'll need. Thank you, that's all the help I'll need for now." Alice opened the door and Lauren Yee left. She'll just have to wait for Paul Kincaid.

Alice went to sit at her desk. The phone rang. "Hello, this is Alice Swan."

"This is Derek from IT. I need to install your laptop and your PC, give you a user ID and password. Are you busy or can I come up now?"

"Now is fine."

Five minutes later Derek was in her office. She had to move from her desk, he was crawling under there, hooking up wires and she went to wait by window and looked out onto the view. She wished she had binoculars or better yet a telescope, she was sure she could find her house across the bay in the Berkeley Hills fifteen miles away.

The phone rang again. "Hello, this is Alice Swan."

"Colonel Mustard here."

A laugh burst out before she could control herself. Derek looked up from under the desk. She turned her back to him and bit her lip. "Hello Colonel, how are you?"

"Fine, Ms Scarlett. I'm just missing you, and counting the minutes. Is everything going okay?

"Fine. I just have a few questions for you but now isn't the time or the place."

"Is someone there?"

"Yes, you could say that."

"Okay, about eleven o'clock then."

"Yes, thank you very much, Colonel."

As she hung up, there was a knock on her door. She opened it. A bald, chubby man in his early forties was standing in the doorway. "Hi there, I'm Paul Kincaid."

"Well hello, it's nice to meet you." Alice grasped his outstretched hand with hers and gave him a firm handshake.

"Welcome aboard. I hear you were hand-picked by the boss for the job." He let out a long wolf whistle. "And believe me, I can see why. Congratulations." His nasty implication was clear, and it hit a nerve. Alice was surprised by the direct frontal attack.

"Who did you hear that from?" her voice was also direct, but ice cold. If Paul Kincaid thought that she was a wimp he was wrong.

"A little bird." He was dismissive. Did he rally think she would take that shit?

"Really, I'd like to know that little bird's name." She walked right up to Paul Kincaid and came close enough to have him take a step back. Her voice was low but biting. "I don't think the circumstances of my hire should be gossiped about, do you?" Her green eyes stared into his light hazel ones. He gulped.

"No. I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to come out the way that it did." He started to back pedal. "We weren't gossiping, Jonathan simply mentioned that you came highly recommended by a friend of the boss."

"That is true, one of my professors. And I would appreciate it if you would not discuss this with anyone else. I find it highly unprofessional. You've just implied by your whistle that I got the job not by my qualifications but by my appearance. I wouldn't ever say that again if I were you, or it could get ugly in here."

"I haven't done any work yet and you have no reason to doubt my qualifications. If in the future you have doubts or concerns regarding my job performance, you should probably bring it up with Mr. Hale. I think that's what Mr. Hale would expect. I understand that you are my immediate supervisor and we have to work closely together, so I would like that relationship to be mutually respectful. Or I'll have to make a formal complaint."

"Yes. I'm sorry I wasn't intending to be disrespectful."

Alice nodded. "Well you were, very disrespectful, both to me and Mr Hale. But your apology is accepted, as long as it doesn't happen again." KIncaid nodded. "I believe Mr. Reed said that you would show me around, give me assignments and introduce me to my co-workers."

Derek cleared his throat. "Ms Swan, if you're ready, here is your user ID and you can pick your password."

Alice sat at her desk as Derek guided her through the steps. She realized that Kincaid was standing there waiting like a lackey but she didn't care. When she was done she got up from the desk and Paul opened the door for her as she walked through.

Paul showed her around the office and introduced her to the staff. "How many employees does the company have?"

"Sixty or thereabouts. Twenty architects. And we occupy three suites in the building. Fourteenth is IT and supplies and mailroom. Fifteenth is marketing, clerical and accounting. Sixteenth is architects and support personnel."

"So all twenty architects are on this floor?"

"Yeah. And we work on projects in teams of six or seven. Group leader, mid-level and intern. We have secretaries and assistants."

"Who's in our group?"

"Myself, you and Aleksandr are the architects. The secretaries and assistants are Victoria, Tiffany, Willa and James."

Walking around the office, Alice noticed that the assistants were cubicle dwellers and the architects had offices. She felt relieved. But she noticed that some of them shared offices, or had smaller offices than she did. She hoped that it wouldn't be a problem.

At ten-fifty Maria Blake came to Alice's office. Her black and grey streaked hair reminded Alice of a skunk. She could not be more than forty-five, yet she was like the Ms Grumpy of the office. Yikes! She was even more sour and morose than yesterday. She was clearly not too happy to see Alice in that office. "Mr. Hale asked me to bring you to his office so that we can give you the company welcome." Her voice was anything but welcoming. She had a giant rod up her ass.

Alice walked shoulder to shoulder with Ms Grumpy to Jasper's office. Alice did not quicken her step when Grumpy tried to out stride her, instead she slowed down and asked questions, which forced Ms Grumpy to slow down.

Jasper had the gigantic corner office, naturally. He had two huge windows, one giving a panoramic view of the East Bay, and the other a spectacular view of North Beach, Marin and the Golden Gate Bridge. She was surprised that almost all the architects were gathered there, champagne glasses in hand.

Jasper cleared his throat and with a twinkle in his eyes he introduced her. "Good morning everyone, I'd like to introduce you to Ms Alice Swan. She has her M.A. in architectural design from Pratt Institute in New York, and she comes to us from Gragin and Patton, a prestigious design firm in New York." Everyone murmured their awe. "Ms Swan, I'd like to welcome you to Hale Designs and on behalf of our whole team we hope you will be very happy with us."

They all raised a toast to her. "Here. Here." Wow what a welcome, Alice thought to herself, and all for me.

"Would you like to make a statement, Ms. Swan?" Mr. Hale asked.

She had nothing prepared so she had no choice but to wing it. Her voice was husky with nerves. "Well, thank you Mr. Hale for giving me this wonderful opportunity. I am very excited to be here. I've read that Hale Designs has the very best young architects and that it is the kind of company that values creativity, aesthetic integrity and a personal point of view. I've never been afraid to be bold, different and cutting edge and I hope that I will fit in perfectly."

"Here. Here." and they drank some more.

The group milled about talking. Jasper approached Alice. "Nice little speech."

"Thanks for putting me on the spot." She teased.

"I knew you could handle it. You can handle anything, can't you?"

"I try. By the way I like your little welcoming celebration. It's really a touching tradition."

"This is not a tradition, where did you get that idea? This is just for you, Alice, just for you." He tried for a straight-face but he wasn't good at it.

"Yeah, right! That's not what you said on the phone." Alice laughed, and when heads swung toward them she realized that they were in a corner by the window, bodies almost touching. "I should mingle." she told him, pulling away.

His hand reached out and grabbed her wrist, keeping her close. "But you are. You're mingling with me. I'd like to take you to lunch." he whispered.

"I don't think I should. I've gotten strange looks, strange vibes and strange innuendos." She murmured. "Why am I in that big office all alone? I think that some people are going to get upset."

He look puzzled and he requested, "Take me to your office, I want to see it."

They left everyone still mingling and walked back down the hall. Alice opened the door and Jasper followed her in. "Do you see what I mean? I'm the lowest man on the totem pole and I get a large office to myself. I saw other architects sharing offices, and some in much smaller offices than this."

"You're not the lowest man on the totem pole. I hired you as a mid-level architect, not as an intern."

"But why? I have no experience."

"You had two years' internship with a top notch architectural firm in New York. That qualifies you for mid-range salary. And I saw your designs, you have a real gift. You would be wasted as an intern."

Alice still had her doubts. "Jasper, be honest. If we didn't have a…. little thing going on, would my designs and my internship qualify me for this office and this position?"

"Yes, it would. I like your ideas and I feel you'd be wasted on the bottom rung. In my opinion there is no other mid-level architect who has more talent than you." He raised his right hand. "I swear that assessment has nothing to do with how I feel about you."

Alice was genuinely pleased by his opinion of her work. She stepped closer to him, her body barely brushing the front of his, deliberately tantalizing. "How _do_ you feel about me?" she asked as she slid her arms under his jacket and around his waist.

"I'm crazy about you. Don't you know?" He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer to his body. Alice's body curved into his and she waited, but he didn't kiss her.

"What's wrong? Don't you want to kiss me here?" Alice whispered.

"I do, but if I start I may not be able to stop." His voice was already ragged and his breathing was heavy.

Alice slid her arms from around him and went to get her bag. "Let's go to lunch." They walked out of her office together. All eyes were on them but Alice didn't care. Let them talk, if worse came to worse, she would quit. She had no intention of flaunting her relationship with Jasper but she wasn't going to go to elaborate lengths to hide it either.

They walked to the elevators together. Not touching but yearning to. Jasper stopped at the reception desk. "Jessica, tell my secretary that I'm going to lunch and tell Mr. Kincaid that Ms. Swan is at lunch with me. We'll be back in a couple of hours."

"Yes, Mr. Hale.

Jasper and Alice waited by the elevators, eagerly anticipating the moment when they would be able to touch. One elevator came and it was packed, so they let it go by. Alice felt Jessica's eyes on her. She turned and directed a clear, steady gaze in her direction and Jessica looked away.

The other elevator came and the two occupants were deep in conversation. They got on. Jasper jabbed at the button and they whizzed all the way down without a stop. Jasper reached for her hand as they walked across the lobby, navigating through the lunchtime body traffic. Finally, they were outside in the sunshine. Jasper and Alice exchanged their first kiss of the day. He raised a hand and yelled, "Taxi."

It was a repeat performance of the day before. Jasper opened the door to his apartment and their lips locked as they undressed. They tumbled to the couch, Jasper pulled her to him and sucked her tight nipple. Then he licked a fire down her body. He opened her like a flower petal "Alice you taste so good." His rough tongue stroked her nub and she moved her hips urgently. She held his head between her thighs, begging him not to stop.

When she was trembling with need he sat up and pulled her onto his lap to straddle him. Alice raised up onto her knees and smoothed the condom on. Her eyes looked into his as she guided him in and slid all the way down. "Ohhh, you feel so big, and so deliciously good."

Jasper held her hips as she moved up and down on his cock. "You have the most beautiful nipples I've ever seen, red and juicy like the inside of a cherry. Fuck, I want to suck all your juices out." he groaned.

"Suck me babe, suck and fuck me 'til I come." she urged.

Alice held onto his shoulders and rocked on his lap until she felt the hairs on her head begin stand up. He slipped a hand between their bodies and his thumb rubbed her nub. His finger rubbing, his tongue sucking and his body in hers combined gave her a pleasure so intense that she moaned his name as her body shuddered in her orgasm." "Ohhh, yeees! Yeees! You're fucking good, Jasper."

"Mmm Good." Jasper held her hips above his and continued to pump up into her until his body released his juices in the pulsing heat of his own orgasm. Alice's sweat slicked body lay quietly against his as she struggled to regain her breath.

The flat was quiet but for their labored breathing. Jasper stroked her back as she lay there in his arms. "I love sex with you." she whispered.

"I love sex with you too. It's perfect, everything about it is perfect." She smiled up at him and he bent to kiss her.

"Jasper, I don't want you to worry about your company and people finding out about 'us'. I don't want you walking on eggshells at the office. I can handle any gossip that comes my way. And if things get too hairy I'll find another job."

He smiled as he rubbed her lips. "I'm not worried about anyone finding out, I thought you were. My only worry today was that I would be screwing you on the floor of your office and that loud noises would be emanating from behind your door."

Alice reached up and ran her fingers through his hair. "You just planted a sexual fantasy in my brain. One night, after everyone is gone, I want to do it with you on every surface of that office; the reception desk, the conference table and the boss's couch. And I want to make you moan so loudly that the walls will shake."

"You are the most fantastic woman I've ever met, do you know that? When you say these things I feel as though I've lived a sheltered life."

Alice laughed. "Are you accusing me of using my wicked female wiles to corrupt you?"

"I like wicked female wiles, use them as often as you want to." he bent down and sucked her nipple. He pinched the other one between his thumb and finger and squeezed hard. "I have never in my life seen tits as beautiful as yours. They're full and juicy, and the color of your nipples drive me crazy. They're like red hots. Man candy." and he licked them with his rough tongue, she felt her body clench again in anticipation.

"Suck harder. Bite!" She urged him on.

While Jasper sucked her nipples, Alice closed her eyes and gave herself over to the feeling. He pressed her back onto the couch, he was ready to go again. His lips journeyed down to her belly and kissed her hips. He spread her thighs open as he searched with his tongue for her sweet nub. "So beautiful, like a glass of wine, deep red and delicious." He licked her wet folds and put his tongue in as far as it would go. Alice had no idea how he was doing what he was doing but she was going to come soon. Her hips moved in circles as he ate her into paradise. "Mmmm. Don't stop, it feels so good."

He rose up and put on a condom and shoved himself into her hot luscious wetness. After just a few strokes she was sailing to heaven. "Jasper, Jasper, Jasper. You are so good. You feel so good in me."

"Alice, kiss me." She raised herself up on her arms and licked his lips with her tongue, running it from side to side. Jasper gripped her hair and held her steady as he ravaged her mouth with his. His tongue roved restlessly in her mouth, she licked the insides of his cheek and roof of his mouth, he groaned and she did it again and again.

Alice felt the deep fluttering orgasm start and she fell back onto the couch. She moved her arms around him and gripped his shoulders as she was carried helplessly on the wave of her climax. Her body jerked in spasms, and her heart thumped heavily in her chest. "Ohhhh god , Ohhh god, Ohhh." She opened her eyes and saw Jasper's jaw clenching and his blue eyes looking at her intently. He was drenched in sweat and he shouted as he came to a heart stopping climax and fell on her soft wet body.

They lay there quietly as their pulses returned to normal. Alice was sure that she had never had sex this good. Ever. Was it his length? Was it his thickness? She wasn't sure but it seemed as though Jasper's body was made for hers.

"I'm in lust, so in lust." Alice thought as she smiled to herself.

#

Jasper and Alice took a long hot shower and dressed to go back to the office. "We didn't eat lunch, my belly is growling." Alice complained.

"I'll have my secretary order something when we get back. What do you want?"

"A sandwich and a salad should be fine."

They took the ten minute taxi ride and rode up the elevator back up to the sixteenth floor. Alice realized that it would be obvious to everyone how they had spent their lunch. Jasper's hair was still wet from the shower they had taken together, the end of her fat curls were damp with steam and they both smelled of the same soap. Alice noticed that Jessica averted her eyes when they walked past her desk. Jasper opened her office door and let her in, then followed her inside. "Come here and kiss me." He demanded, and Alice willingly kissed him, running her tongue against his, until they broke apart, hearts thumping erratically. "Mmm. I could do that all day. I'll order Turkey and avocado is that okay?"

Alice nodded and he left. She flopped into the leather armchair. Her mother was right, she was crazy to take up this affair. How can they go on like this? Two hour lunches full of lovemaking were delicious, but not too smart. She wasn't so much worried that people would talk but she did worry that she wouldn't be able to do the job.

Alice was on the laptop when Jasper's secretary brought her lunch. She noticed that unlike the others in the office this woman had a sincere smile as she introduced herself, "Hello, I'm Charlotte, Mr. Hale's secretary, he sent me with this for you."

"Thank you Charlotte, and tell him thanks from me will you?"

"Yes, Ms Swan." and she left. Alice wanted a secretary just like Jasper's, one who wasn't going to bother with judgment and gossip. Her first order of business would be to find someone who can work with her and be loyal, like Charlotte was to Jasper.

She pulled the sandwich, salad and soft drink out of the bag and found a note at the bottom. "Mmm, mmm good." he had written and he signed it 'Colonel Mustard'. Alice sat back and ate her sandwich and smiled, happily remembering the afternoon with the sexy hunk Colonel Mustard.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Three

The rest of that first week was easier, Alice met her team and she knew they would work well together. Kincaid was no longer a problem and the others did not know the undercurrents, at least Alice saw no indication that they knew that she and Jasper were involved. Thursday morning they were given a project, a new office building in Fremont. They had to do research and prepare a proposal to present to the client in two weeks. Jasper had met with the client already and came to the meeting to give them an overview of what the client's desires were.

The team, met in the smaller conference room. Jasper came in a few minutes later. He laid out the vision that the client had, and told them the ideas he had given the client. The building was supposed to hold administrative offices as well as an onsite daycare, state of the art cafeteria, exercise facility and green spaces. The client was a health care organization. This building would have to reflect their emphasis on healthy living and preventive approaches to keeping the whole family healthy. Thus the exercise facility and day care.

Alice sat back and listened to the back and forth of ideas, she had a few of her own, but she wanted to see others going through the process so she held back.

"Any ideas Alice?" Kincaid asked.

"I have a few."

"Please don't hesitate to voice your opinions." Jasper encouraged.

"Well, to be honest, I'd like to take a trip out there. I'd like to see the site, what surrounds it. So I can get a feel of how the building should be orientated."

"What do you mean?" Kincaid asked.

"Well, for example, if the site is close enough to the hills, I would like to make use of the view. And include some quiet spaces, like meditation lounges; little small spaces where people can go to relax and re-energize. I know Fremont has wonderful soft hills and I would like for the design to incorporate that view. Also I would like to see green spaces inside and out. During the winter, when people can't go outside it would be nice to have an alternative "green space" like an atrium, or something along those lines." Kincaid nodded encouragingly and she elaborated.

"In terms of the actual design of the building I would like to springboard off the 'California Mission' style. Maybe not take it quite that literally but a design with a nod to old California. I think it would be fitting. White walls, wrought iron, cloistered gardens, archways, which will give that cool calming feel to the space. But like I said I would really like to go and see the site first."

"What do you think, Kincaid?" Jasper asked.

"I like those ideas, all of them. Great job, Alice."

Jasper turned to the other architect. "Aleksandr? Any ideas?"

"Yes. I have a few." and he went on to talk about his vision for the space. After about another half hour of brainstorming, Jasper ended the meeting.

"Well we can meet back here next Thursday at nine, I'll get an update. And, Alice. I'm going out to there on Monday, so you can come with me to take a look at the site."

"Sure. What time?" Alice opened her planner and prepared to jot down the time.

"Sometime in the early afternoon, I have a morning meeting. Maybe around two, okay?"

"Yes." She started scribbling the information.

Jasper raised his voice and spoke to the whole room. "By the way, folks, Halloween is coming up so our annual costume party is on for Friday at six, in the lobby. Costumes everyone, let's show our community spirit." Everyone left the conference room and Alice hung back to talk to Jasper.

"There's an annual costume party? What's that about?"

"Well it's a charity fundraiser, everyone pays fifty dollars and the money goes to Children's Hospital. Other companies in the building participate, we usually raise at least a hundred grand. The company that raises the most money gets to donate in their name. In addition, it's good for networking and it gives people something to look forward to." He waggled his eyebrows. "There is a first prize for 'most creative' costume."

"What's the prize?"

"A suite at the Claremont, any weekend you choose."

"What a fabulous idea! But I'll be out of the running for the prize, I don't have much time to find anything, let alone make something creative. What costume are you wearing?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out." His blue eyes twinkled, as he look down at her, causing her hear to skip a beat.

Alice cocked her head in an innocent gesture. "Well don't blame me if, in the heat of the moment, I rub up on and kiss some masked man, thinking that it's you."

Jasper laughed and gathered up his papers and laptop. "I'll have my eye on you, don't worry."

"Fine, I won't tell you what I'm wearing either, let's see who finds who first." She stuck out her hand and he shook it.

"You're on." He left the room with a little chuckle.

Alice returned to her office and started sketching ideas for the Fremont project. Before she realized it she had skipped lunch and it was six o'clock. She was pretty happy with her ideas, but she was still in the dark, without seeing the location. She pulled her jacket over her white shirt and smoothed her black mini skirt over her hips. Her black leather ankle boots added that touch of danger to her otherwise conservative outfit.

She left the office to wait by the elevator. A few dedicated employees were still toiling away, although it was much quieter than during regular hours. The elevator came and it was virtually empty. Only one woman was on it. Alice got in, she had been hoping to see Jasper tonight, she was missing him. He had been out of town on business in Seattle since Tuesday night, this morning's meeting was the first time she had seen him since Tuesday's lunchtime tryst. Her mind was suddenly revisiting all the pleasure she had found in his arms and she was missing him even more.

She walked off the elevator and started briskly towards the glass doors when she heard someone call her name and her head whipped around.

"Oh my God Sam, where have you been?" Alice found herself engulfed in a huge bear hug. Then she was picked up and swung in a circle. She giggled with surprise.

The big burly bear of a man set her back down, grinning cheerfully. His auburn hair a curly mess, his full beard making him look like a younger version of Grizzly Adams. "I just got back from Anchorage. I've been there for the last two years working."

"Working for whom, polar bears?" Alice tugged on his bushy beard.

He laughed and informed her, "I'm working for Environmental Action. It's a non-profit."

"I would have never expected that." She laughed. "What about the football scholarship?"

"Life happened." He shrugged. "I got injured and met a great girl who turned me on to nature conservancy. It's my job and my passion."

"That's wonderful, Pookie."

"Please no old nicknames, ASS."

"For the last time, my initials are not A-S-S, it's A-V-S."

"If I'm Pookie, then it's A-S-S."

"You guys were such a bunch of idiots."

"Blame your boy Jake, he came up with the rumor that your name was Alice Swimming Swan. I guess he had to bring you down a peg or two.

"Yeah, Jake the jerk. Do you work here, in this building?"

"Yep. They have a small office here, but I don't work here, per se. I'm usually out in the field. I make documentary films aimed at our donors, you know, to get the money rolling in." He hugged her again. "You haven't changed a bit, Al." She remembered that in high school he had had a massive crush on her. One night he had gotten drunk and serenaded her outside her window. He was such a sweet guy, she liked him immensely and had tiptoed gingerly around letting him down easy. "God it's so good to see you. Last I heard you were in New York with Jake, still with him?" He asked casually, way too casually.

"No. Jake's a liar and a cheating sonofabitch. He's still in New York, fucking around. I'm back home in Berkeley. Actually I finally got my degree in architecture and came back a couple months ago. I just started a new job, here in this building."

"I want to get out of here. Do you have plans? Can we hang, go for a drink and talk?" His sweet brown eyes lit up.

Alice had been hoping to see Jasper tonight, but never touched base with him, so the only plan she had was going home to relax.

"Well, just one drink. I don't want to go home sloshed. Mom will kill me."

"Don't tell me you're back at home with Renee?" He chuckled. All Alice's friends were simultaneously intimidated by and admiring of Alice's mother. Most of them had been at the other end of her cutting wit at least once.

"Well I have no choice, I just started working, and have you seen the ridiculous rent they charge now? Believe me I can deal with Renee if it means living rent free."

"Yeah. I know. I'm looking for a place, too, but no luck. I just need two months 'cause I'm heading to Saskatchewan next." They exited through the lobby doors, Alice was walking arm in arm with Sam, and they bumped into Jasper.

"Alice? I've been waiting for you." Jasper eyed Alice's arm questioningly as it nestled wrapped around Sam's.

"Oh. I didn't know you were waiting. Jasper, meet Sam- an old high school buddy. Sam this is Jasper, my guy." The two men shook hands. "Jasper can we grab a quick drink with Sam?"

"Sure. Just a quick one though, I made dinner reservations for seven."

The threesome walked to Spanky's bar, right down the street. There were no available seats, the place was packed and Alice and Sam talked as she leaned back into Jasper's chest. Distracted by the noise and the feel of Jasper's body behind hers, she barely heard a word of what Sam was saying as she sipped her scotch and soda.

Thirty minutes later she got Sam's number and promised to call as she and Jasper headed out to the street to hail a taxi.

"Where are we eating? I'm starving." Alice inquired as she cuddled up to Jasper in the back of the cab.

He gave her a long drugging kiss. "We're not going out to dinner. That was just a ruse to get you away from your friend. We're going home… to bed." He kissed her again then whispered in her ear, " I've fuckin' missed you."

"What you really mean is that you've missed fuckin' me." she teased him.

He tucked his lips into her neck, "I've missed you, Alice. Everything about you."

"Jasper, I've missed you too but, man, I need some food. I didn't have lunch and those drinks went straight to my head."

He sighed his surrender, "Fine, where do you want to go?"

"Anywhere there's food. I'm not familiar with this area. I'd be happy with whatever you suggest." They found a place and grabbed two ten inch philly cheesesteaks and fries and walked the rest of the way to Jasper's place.

Alice sat at the barstool at the kitchen island and ate the luscious, spicy sandwich. She talked between munches. "I'm beginning to realize that to you I'm a cheap date. I just want you to know that I'm not."

"What do you mean?" Jasper had finished his sandwich and was tidying up.

"Well I think you feel you don't have to wine me and dine me, because sex is guaranteed." She eyed him as she munched.

"That's nonsense." He paused by the sink, "I want to wine you and dine you, but I want to make love first."

"Don't make the mistake of taking me for granted, Jasper. I like the little pleasures in life that every other woman does. Don't forget it."

"Okay, next time no sex without a proper date, okay?"

"Okay." She smiled, biting into her sandwich happily.

He joined her at the island and pulled her into his arms. "How about the big pleasures in life, hmm?" He nuzzled her neck. "Can we enjoy those now?"

"Let me finish my f..." She let out a surprised squeal and held on to a couple of fries as he hoisted her up over his shoulders and carried her to his bedroom. Once there, he let her slide down to stand and he kissed her greedily.

She pulled her mouth from his. "Undress me, Jasper. Slowly." she whispered as she stood in front of him near the bed.

He unbuttoned her black jacket, and slowly removed it. Then he unbuttoned her white silk blouse and peeled it off her shoulders. He ran his fingers along the edge of her black lace bra and pulled one cup down to expose her nipple and bent to pull it into his mouth and he whispered, "Let me taste your little red hots." And he circled it with his tongue and sucked. "Mmm so good." He reached around her waist and unzipped her black skirt, it fell to the floor. "Oh Alice, if I'd only known!"

She stood there in her black stiletto boots and black bra and black garter belt and black silk stockings. No panty in sight.

"If only I'd known what was waiting for me, I would have thrown you on that conference room table and screwed you 'til you passed out." He picked her up and placed her on the bed. "Sweet thing, open for me."

Alice's thighs opened and he expertly navigated his lips up her inner thigh to her pleasure spot. His tongue circled teasingly and then he lapped at it, and as she cried for more he pushed his fingers in her wetness. "Mmm, again," she begged as her legs moved restlessly on the bed. Her green eyes closed in ecstasy, she clutched the sheets in her hands. "Please Jasper, please. Put it in me, now." He moved up to suck on her bottom lip. He breathed in her mouth, and licked his tongue inside. She tasted her juices and sucked it off his tongue. "Mmm, now Jasper." He pushed into her with one big hard thrust. And she felt full and tight. He moved hard and fast and her nub that was still quivering from the tongue assault now felt the full force of his thrusts.

She was quivering inside, and her spine felt like jelly. "Oh my god, oh my god. Jasper don't stop. Right there, that feels so good." she groaned and her head moved from side to side on the pillow.

She screamed through her orgasm and heard his grunts as though he was far away. Through half-opened lids she saw him looking at her with wonder. "Why is it so good with you?" he asked her. Then he bent to kiss her lips and he released his seed into her warmth.

#

They lay in bed, holding each other, Jasper stroking her back and Alice running her hands over his chest hair. They were each wrapped in their own private thoughts. "Stay with me all night tonight." he asked her.

She shook her head. "No. I have no clothes for work in the morning."

He squeezed her waist and held her tightly to his side. "I'll take you home in the morning so you can change and we'll come in together."

"Jasper, don't be silly. We'll be very late." Alice kissed him and slid to the edge of the bed and stood up. She found her bra and her skirt and pulled them on. Her jacket was on a chair and she couldn't find her blouse anywhere. "Jasper, help me find my blouse, please?" They searched and found it wrapped in the sheet.

"Alice, why don't you get an apartment here in the city?" Jasper was pulling on his pants.

"Too expensive." she replied, preoccupied with fastening her buttons.

He reached for his own shirt which had been thrown to the floor. "I'll pay for it."

"NO!" She put her hands on her hips and looked him squarely in the face. He looked surprised by her vehemence.

"Why not?" He asked, yanking on his shirt.

"Because then you'll think you own me." She sat on the bed and zipped up her sexy stiletto ankle boots.

"I would never think that. I just want to help you."

"I don't want to live in San Fran anyway. Too many buildings and cars and not enough green. I love Berkeley, it's my home." she stood up fully dressed. "I'm ready."

Jasper slipped his arms around her waist. "Alice, I want all night with you. Not always a few stolen hours here and there."

"My, my you're getting clingy all of a sudden." Alice playfully tapped his cheek and kissed his chin.

"I've an idea. Come away with me, this weekend. Let's go down the coast to Big Sur. We can stay overnight and we'll come back on Sunday night."

Alice reached up and pulled Jasper's head down to kiss him. "Mmmm. Sounds like fun. Let me think about it."

#

It was after ten when Jasper pulled up across the street from her house. He walked her up the stairs of the purple victorian and bent to kiss her goodnight. In the shelter of a corner of the dark porch, Alice snaked her arms around his neck and opened her mouth. She slid her tongue over his and their mouths devoured each other. Alice felt him getting hard and she reached into his zipper to stroke him. The sensuous movement of his tongue and the feel of his silken tip had her moist in seconds and she raised one leg and wrapped it around his hip. He held that thigh in one hand and ground himself into her. His other hand slipped under her skirt and stroked her nub. She cried out, moving her hips and squeezing her eyes shut. He was too fucking good, with a mere touch of his long fingers he had her nearing orgasm. Alice did the unthinkable and guided his tip into her and they both grunted when he thrust inside and filled her completely. They found themselves having sex right there on the porch. He moved his mouth from hers to kiss her throat and she ran her hands through his already messy hair.

"Alice what are you doing to me?" He panted breatlessly.

Pulse beating in her throat, Alice gasped out, "I'm screwing you, Jasper. Doesn't it feel good?"

He groaned in response."So good." Then he dropped his forehead onto her shoulder and started moving faster.

Alice was carried away by the sheer depravity of the moment. She wanted more, more. She wanted him to bend to her. "The best? Ever?"

"Yeah. Ever."

Jasper and Alice were moaning and seconds away from ecstasy when the front door suddenly opened and Renee Swan and Bella stood in the doorway. The light from the hallway streamed out onto the dark porch and shone brightly on the lovers.

"Jesus Christ, Alice!" her mother's shock was evident in her low swearing. Jasper let go of Alice's thigh like it was hot. She straightened up and tried to break free of him. He continued to hold her hips in a vice grip and it dawned on her that he was trying to hide his cock. His face was in her neck and he was pulling for air.

"Mom, can you give us a few minutes, please?" Alice whispered huskily.

The front door slammed and Jasper and Alice slowly separated. Jasper's face was flushed and dazed as he tucked himself in and zipped up. He leaned against the wall, his breaths were slowing from the rapid panting of a minute before. "Fuck, Alice. You're either going to get me killed or get me arrested."

Alice grimaced. "Sorry. I guess I got carried away."

"You weren't the only one." He smiled weakly.

"Well now you have to come in and brave the gorgon." His brows knitted. "I mean you'll have to come in and meet my mother and sister."

Jasper rubbed his face with both hands. He was still flushed. "I guess I have to. Give me another minute, Alice. I have to calm down."

"At least you don't have to meet an angry father, he died seventeen years ago in a motorcycle accident. You only have to meet my mom and my sis." She hoped to calm him by her chatter. "My mother's name is Renee and my sister's name is Bella. She is a little sweetie, but Renee, she's another story. Be on your guard. She is a killer attorney and tough as nails."

"She's brought quite a few guys to their knees so be warned. Ready?"

Alice turned the knob and they walked into the small foyer. She hung her jacket on the coat tree. A door to the left led into the living room. A comfy floral couch was tucked under the bay windows and two large armchairs were covered in cheerful floral chintz. Lots of throw pillows a center table and side tables with lamps gave the room a soft welcoming charm. A fire had just been started and was crackling cheerfully in the fireplace.

Alice and Jasper sat on the couch and waited; he couldn't help feeling as though he would shortly be facing his executioner. Bella came in and Jasper noticed that Alice's younger sister was a bit taller than Alice with darker hair. Her skin was golden honey and her long, dark, straight hair hung down her back past her waist. Her eyes were a rich clear golden color. But her heart-shaped face was almost an exact replica of Alice's, with full lips and a narrow pert nose. Projecting an air of grace and calm, she reminded Jasper of an exotic fairy tale princess.

Jasper stood up and Bella shook his hand and said, "Hello, I'm Bella, Alice's sister." her voice was soft and shy. "Mom will be coming down soon."

She sat in one of the armchairs. "We were on our way to Safeway, mom has a headache and I was driving her to go get aspirin. She didn't want me going out alone this late at night." Bella rolled her eyes, indicating that she knew her mom was overprotective.

Renee came into the room and Jasper stood up. She was a tiny woman, much shorter than her daughters, only five-one or so, slim and curvy with short black curls, deep brown eyes and an olive complexion. He felt a little shame when he realized she wasn't much older than he was. To anyone she would appear to be in her thirties, but, he calculated, based on what he had learned from Alice, that she was forty-three. He was thirty-eight, nearer her age than Alice's.

"Good evening, Mrs. Swan, I'm Jasper Hale."

"Hello Mr. Hale. How are you?"

She sat down and he did too. Alice wound her arm through his elbow and held his hand.

Renee eyed the clasped hands. "Mr. Hale I understand that you are the owner of the firm where Alice works."

"Please call me Jasper. Yes I am the owner of Hale Designs."

"So Alice tells me you two are having a relationship. She's one of your employees, isn't that unethical and risky?" Renee went in for the kill immediately.

Jasper's brows furrowed and he blinked in surprise, "I don't think it's unethical. We went into this with our eyes open. I know that Alice is honest and I know I am. I won't ever treat her unfairly because of our relationship."

"You say that now, but what if she no longer wants to have a "relationship" with you? Hmm? Or you with her? What then? You can fire her and she'll be unable to do anything about it, she's signed a waiver."

Jasper unwound his arm from Alice's and leaned forward slightly. "Mrs. Swan, I understand your concern for your daughter, but don't worry. Firstly, I wouldn't fire her. She's a wonderful architect whose talent I truly admire. Secondly, I signed a statement as well. Alice cannot be fired for any reason, she will have to resign."

Renee practically snorted. "Please Mr. Hale, there are many ways around that. You can make the work environment so unbearable for her that she will resign. We all know that..."

Alice interrupted. "Mom, do you want me to quit this job? Start looking for another? Will that make you happy?"

Renee and Jasper turned to Alice, who was bristling with barely contained annoyance. "Of course not Alice." Her mom shook her head, dismissively.

Alice continued to make her point. "Then, I'm not understanding your point. Jasper and I have worked it out to _our_ satisfaction, end of story. I don't need my mommy looking out for me. Whatever happens, happens. Worst case scenario, Jasper and I have a bad break-up and I resign. So what? I'll take my lumps, I'm a grown woman. I'll move on. I know I'm a good architect and I won't be without a job for too long.

"You think it'll be so easy to get another job? Especially if…"

"Please let it go, for christ's sake, can we please talk about something else? I'm sick of this subject." Renee and Jasper both stared in surprise at Alice's outburst.

After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence, Jasper cleared his throat. "So, Mrs Swan, Alice tells me that you're an attorney." Jasper said quietly. "My father was a judge until he retired a few years ago. Maybe you've met him, Nick Hale."

"I have heard of your father, though I've never met him. I think Judge Hale was in the criminal courts, I do civil litigation. My specialty is family law and ADA suits. I'm an advocate for children's rights and the rights of the disabled and mentally ill."

"That's sounds like a very rewarding endeavor." Jasper responded. No one can shut down a conversation like Renee Swan. There was a huge silence.

"Jasper," Alice changed the subject, "Bella is at the culinary institute in Napa, she's studying to be a pastry chef. How is school coming Bella?"

"Fine. A little more challenging than I anticipated, but I like it. I'll finish next June and start looking for a position. I can't wait."

Renee joined the conversation in praise of her younger daughter, "Bella is a wonderful chef. She'll be making Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Chris is coming home, so we've invited him and his parents. I hope you and Jasper can come."

Alice immediately became suspicious, _Was Renee really trying to bring Jasper into the fold? Or was this a trick?_

Alice turned to Jasper, "Chris is Bella's sweetheart, he's at Villanova, his parents live around the corner." Alice explained to Jasper before answering her mother. "I'll be here, mom, but Jasper may have plans. Let's not put him on the spot. But," she smirked at her mother, "speaking of plans, Jasper and I are going away this weekend, to Big Sur."

Renee's face tightened, and Alice felt a surge of triumph.

Jasper squeezed Alice's hand. "Big Sur is beautiful and Alice says she's never been there." Alice wondered how much of Big Sur she'll get to see from the window of the hotel, she could tell that her mom was revving up to give her opinion on the getaway, so she abruptly brought an end to the chatter, by standing up and tugging on Jasper's hand.

"Well, Jasper has to go home, he has a big meeting in the morning. Night Bella, night mom." Renee blinked at Alice's sudden dismissal.

Bella got up and said, "It was nice to meet you Jasper. Have fun in Big Sur. Chris and I went this past summer and we stayed at this wonderful bed and breakfast. We loved it. Do you want me to find the name of it for you? I think it was something like the 'Seacrest' or something like that."

"No, but thanks for the offer. I've been to Big Sur before and I have a buddy who owns a bed and breakfast, I usually stay there."

"Goodnight Mr. Ha… Jasper. It was a pleasure." Renee's tone did not match her words. She turned without speaking to Alice and went upstairs.

Alice walked Jasper to the door. "Pay no attention to her, she has a prejudice against you."

"Thanks Alice, that makes me feel good."

"Well it's nothing to do with you or me, it's her baggage."

"What's the prejudice?"

Alice ticked the reasons off on her fingers, "Well, for one, she thinks you're too old for me. For another, she's angry because I slept with you the first day I met you. Third, you already know her opinion on sleeping with the boss. Fourth, we were petting in the car last week and now she's caught us out on the porch in flagrante delicto. She hates PDAs, can you imagine how much she hated seeing that? And the fifth and most important reason she won't like you is because she has someone in mind for me."

"What? Are you kidding me?"

"No, I'm dead serious."

"Who?"

"A Pakistani- American doctor. One of the partners in her law firm has a nephew who is a doctor and mom has met him and fallen in love with him, on my behalf. She has tried every which way to trick us into meeting and I've managed to escape each time. She is hell bent on this. I guess my mother is no different from every other mother who wants her daughter to marry a doctor. So there is nothing you or I can do about her disliking our relationship."

#

The following day went by quietly. That morning at home Alice packed an overnight bag and a garment bag with her costume. With no time or opportunity to get a costume she wound up borrowing one of Bella's belly dancing outfits. Bella had taken belly dancing lessons since she was twelve and she had been performing in Margo's troupe since she was sixteen. Bella was a size six now but a couple years ago she was a size four. Fortunately she had held on to the costume and it fit Alice perfectly.

It was blue and green. The bodice was an emerald green velvet bra with cobalt blue satin piping. The skirt hugged her hips and fell to her feet in jade, emerald, turquoise and cobalt silk panels. When she walked the panel fell apart to reveal her legs. Bella gave her the green scarf to cover the lower part of her face, and a blue scarf to cover her hair. She would secure these with hairpins. Jasper would not be able to recognize her. She had no intentions of going barefoot so she decided to wear strappy gold sandals with a kitten heel.

Her overnight bag was harder to pack. She was tempted to pack only lingerie, since she felt sure that she and Jasper would never leave the bed. But just on the off chance, she packed day clothes. The weather this time of the year in Big Sur was hard to predict and even the weather channel wasn't accurate when it comes to predicting the varying weather in the micro-climates.

In addition to her slinky nightwear, she packed a pair of jeans and a pair of black slacks. Two ribbed knit sweaters and one slinky red dress. She was hoping that Jasper would take her out to dinner, finally.

The bags were stowed away under her desk. She had a meeting at nine and then she worked all morning. Shortly before one o'clock there was a knock at her door and Jasper poked his head in. "Are you free for lunch?"

She looked at him and her heart skipped a beat. He had on a dark blue suit and navy tie, with a cobalt blue shirt that matched his eyes. Mmm he looked good enough to eat, yummy. "Is this a date?"

"Yes, it is."

"Well, usually I require a little more notice."

"Sorry, but I had back-to-back meetings and couldn't call."

"You're forgiven. But, don't let it happen again. Where are we going?"

"Aqua. Come on, let's go." He held out his hand, impatiently.

"What's the rush?"

"We have reservations for one, it's almost that now."

She grabbed her bag and held his hand as she hurried to keep up with his long legs. They waited for the elevator. "Maybe you should have told me, I would have gone on ahead."

"I told you that I didn't have a chance." He stabbed the button. "Anyway, we'll only be a few minutes late. By the way, I've got my costume. There's no way you'll figure it out. I'm sure I'll find you first."

Alice challenged him. "We'll see."

"Maybe we should bet on it." He said slyly.

"Bet what? Money?"

"How about candy, red hots." He teased with a wink.

"But you can have all the red hots you want, anytime you want." Alice couldn't help it that her voice dipped seductively. Jasper had a direct connection to her desire and he could pull that string without even trying.

They stood there talking quietly, innuendos and double entendres peppering the light banter, totally forgetting that the receptionist, Jessica, was watching and listening.

The elevator came and they were holding hands as they entered, happy to be going out to lunch together. Rumors spread like wildfire through the office while they were gone.

They had good food and good flirtatious conversation. Alice asked Jasper why the sudden lunch invitation.

His voice lowered for her ears only. "You said no more sex without a proper date. And I fully intend to have sex with you tonight. I wasn't sure that the Halloween party would count as a date."

"It wouldn't have." she whispered back.

"Would you have told me "no" tonight?" he whispered the question in her ear, his lips grazing the sensitive shell.

"We'll never know now, will we?" she said coyly.

They took a cab back to the office and when they got off the elevator, all eyes were on them. Jasper's cell rang and he stopped to answer it, Alice walked to her office with a slight smile on her lips.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Four

The office was bustling at six o'clock that evening. Alice was at her desk working and she could hear the laughter and excitement. She kept her door closed, she would wait for everyone to leave before she put on her costume. Just before seven, she made her way downstairs to the lobby to check out the set up.

The lights in the lobby were off and there were strobe lights blinking blue and red and green flashes. Long white linen covered tables were arranged against the walls and the caterers were setting up champagne and soft drinks. Other tables had tapas. This was going to be fun.

Alice rode the elevator back upstairs. At seven-fifteen she peeked out into the hallway. She didn't hear a peep. She got dressed quickly and pinned on the veils. She had lined her eyes heavily in black liquid liner and put on false eyelashes. She looked campy, the Hollywood version of the seductive belly dancer. Once again she peeked out her office door before leaving. There was no one around. She locked her purse in the drawer and put the little key in her bra and left.

When she got downstairs the party was in full swing. 'Thriller' was playing and folks were dancing. She paid her fifty dollars and they stamped her hand. She showed her hand stamp in order to get a glass of champagne. Yum. Looking around she could pick out a few faces but no sign of Jasper. A party goer dressed as Paul Bunyan grabbed her from behind and she squealed thinking that she had been caught, but it was only Sam.

She relaxed in his hold. "Sam, how did you know it was me?" she asked him.

"I didn't, I just wanted to meet the belly dancer." he laughed hard, and took another long swallow of his drink. He swayed a little as he tilted his head back.

He was already half way to being sloshed. "Slow down, how are you getting home tonight?" Alice asked him.

"I'm staying at a friend's house a few blocks away."

"Oh, that's good, I hope you're not driving?" she quizzed him.

He swayed again and slurred his answer. "Nope. We're walking."

Realizing Sam needed to work off the alcohol in his system, she pulled him by the hand into the middle of the fray. "Let's dance."

They were dancing to the 'Macarena', when Sam's friend cut in. They were then joined by a werewolf. He was too short to be Jasper. Next a vampire cut in and they were dancing to 'Shout'. Alice suddenly found herself surrounded by various ghouls and goblins, a few buccaneers, an eerily realistic Uncle Fester and a Mr. Peanut. She was in the middle of a large group of strangely dressed, slightly sloshed men who were all vying for her attention, and she was having a ball. 'Crazy' came on and the group of men started to jump and sing, Alice was having a such a great time, she stopped looking for Jasper and started to jump and sing too. She was dancing with at least twenty fun men in what was fast becoming a mosh pit. She raised her arms and moved her body to the rhythm. It was fun to dance and just let herself go.

"Wang Chung' and then the 'Beastie Boys' came on and the group whooped it up some more. Alice had totally forgotten about Jasper. She was moving her hips to 'Livin' La Vida Loca' when one dark haired guy dressed like Neo from the Matrix grabbed her by the waist and moved her veil aside and kissed her. "I found you." he said in her ear. It was Jasper, behind the black hair, sunglasses and long leather trench.

Goodness! Jasper as Keanu Reeves as Neo! Alice was in heaven. His disguise was so good that she would have never found him, but she wondered how he found her. "You look great. How did you know it was me?" She asked in his ear.

"The men around you." He smirked. "You can disguise your body and your face but not your sexual attraction to men. I just looked for the biggest group of horny guys." He laughed.

He took off her veil and her head scarf, and stuffed them in his pocket. He ran his fingers through her curls and pulled her face to his. Her arms linked around his neck. They kissed and swayed to "Black Magic Woman'. His hands moved to her hips, feeling her movements. He pulled her hips into his and Alice realized he was forgetting he was still surrounded by employees. This was way too public, she pulled her lips from his. "Let's save it for later, and get something to drink. I'm thirsty."

Jasper held her hand and led her off the dance floor. She ate some tapas and drank some ginger ale. "The music is great, isn't it?" She yelled into his ear, trying to be heard above the din.

He bent down and spoke into her ear. "Yes, but I want to get you home." His eyes were feasting on her body in the barely-there-belly-dancing costume and Alice knew by the feverish look in his eyes that it would be a long sleepless night.

"I want to dance a little longer." Alice pulled him back on the dance floor.

#

Jasper kept possessively close and kissed her all night long. If they were somewhere else Alice would have let go, but she kept worrying about what people would say. He was in disguise, the temporary dark hair dye and dark shades made him unrecognizable; but without her veil, she was easily pegged.

"How long have you been here?" she asked him as she pulled her lips from his devouring mouth for the umpteenth time.

He checked his watch. "Since eight. It's almost ten o'clock now. I'm ready to get out of here."

Alice was ready too. "My bag is upstairs."

"Let's go." He said and holding her hand in his, he maneuvered his way out of the congestion of writhing human bodies. It was a relief when they finally got to the bank of elevators, where the air was relatively cool. They went up and up and when the elevator doors swished open they walked out onto an entirely dark sixteenth floor.

The way to the office was illuminated solely by the small intermittent pod lights built into the baseboards. She walked into her office and reached into the bra of her costume and took out the key to her desk. "Jasper my overnight bag is here, should we take it tonight or leave it here and pick it up tomorrow on our way to Big Sur? He didn't answer. "Jasper?" He was standing right behind her.

"Alice?" One arm went around her middle and he pulled her back against him. The other arm reached up and his hand moved her hair aside and he bent to nip the nape of her neck. She felt his erection at her back, he was fully aroused.

"What?" Her knees went weak. She felt a tremor course through his body, or was it hers?

"I've got to have you, now." Jasper turned her in his arms and started to kiss her throat.

"Jasper, my office is too risky, and there are too many people around." she whispered.

"No one is here, they're all downstairs having fun." It was true the office was dark and quiet, but it was highly likely that some of them would come up to collect their stuff. They would be heard, her office was the one nearest the elevator.

"My door doesn't even have a lock." She said weakly, but her thighs felt loose and she was ready to give in.

"We'll need to get that fixed."

Jasper grabbed her hand and pulled her down the hall to his office. It was dark and the moon was shining through the windows. He locked the door behind them. He kissed her hard, and led her to his chair.

He sat in his chair and pulled her onto his lap and rubbed the flesh of her inner thighs. "God, Alice, I want you all the time. It's a miracle that I can get some work done."

Alice stood up and slowly unhooked the skirt and let it fall to the floor. Then she took her panties off. She sat on his desk and splayed her legs putting one foot on each arm of his leather chair. "Lick me, Jasper." She invited huskily. "Here." She tapped her clit.

He gave her the licking of her life, she was squirming and moaning when he finally picked her up and carried her to the couch under the window. The lovemaking was hot and fierce as Alice rode him, and he sucked her nipples. She was almost there when they heard laughter and footsteps coming down the hallway. For a brief second, green eyes flashed into blue eyes and they stopped moving. Alice grabbed Jasper's face and licked his bottom lip, sucking it into her mouth. "Make me feel good and I'll make you feel so good." She whispered into his ear.

The possibility of discovery added fear and a fierce urgency to the mix. Jasper picked her up by the hips and lay her down on her back, in seconds he was back inside her. His thrusts were hard and fast. Alice clutched his shoulders pressed her mouth against the base of his throat to keep from making noises. She felt Jasper's breath against her hair as his breathing became more labored. The room was quiet but for the wet sound of their bodies moving against each other and the low muffled moans. Alice was in heaven. The people in the hallway added a new dimension to her excitement. She imagined them being discovered and her heart skipped and her nub throbbed. Her hips moved wildly with his as they did the ancient dance. "Fuck, yeah." she moaned as her orgasm swelled higher and her body arched and bucked. When she came Jasper groaned at the almost unbearable tightness of the strong ripples of her climax. Jasper soon reached his own climax and grunted softly as he rested on her limp, moist body.

Alice stroked his back and his butt as he lay there between her thighs. Low voices from outside drifted into their reverie. They heard someone say, "… and Jessica said that she is one hundred percent sure that they are having an affair…" and another voice said, "…and did you see her in that belly dancing outfit. The way she was dancing with all those men? She was just oozing sex…" Another person chimed in, "… and they didn't care who was watching…" and then, "…he must have lost his mind." and then, "…who do they think they're fooling…." Another high female voice chimed in, "I wouldn't mind having a piece of that, though. Alice is freakin' hot."

The women were silent and then the high voice said, "Well she is." And then they all started cackling. Alice covered her mouth to keep the chuckle in. The last voice belonged to Lauren Yee. The talk and laughter in the hallway died away as the group left.

Ten minutes later Jasper and Alice were in a taxi on their way to his flat. The night was long and passionate and uninhibited. They made love on the couch, the kitchen counter, the hallway floor, and the edge of the bed. Her body was exhausted as she lay in Jasper's arms, falling asleep. His body smelled gloriously good and sweaty.

Stroking her hair, Jasper whispered, "Alice, how does it feel to be desired by everyone who looks at you? Do you get bored with the attention?"

"You overestimate my attraction, Jasper, many people loathe me. But to answer your question, I like being desired, but I love being desired by you."

"I think I'm going to have a hard time keeping you." He sighed.

Her arms tightened around his neck. "No you won't. You're the best lover I've ever had. Just keep it coming baby and I'm here for the long haul." She yawned and drifted to sleep.

#

Hoping to reach Big Sur by noon, they left before eight the following morning. Jasper drove his Lexus RX, claiming the handling and the space was needed for the trip. Alice was a little disappointed, because she had been hoping to get a chance to drive his snazzy yellow Porsche. Stopping for a bite at the half-way point in Santa Cruz, slowed them a little, but Alice had insisted that she needed to eat. The drive down was fun, they discovered that they had similar tastes in music, both loving everything from The Smiths, Squeeze, and Nutini, to Neko Case and the Cowboy Junkies. They argued over what they would play, but they liked the same artists.

The weekend in Big Sur was idyllic. The weather was beautiful and Jasper played tour guide. They hiked along a nature trail and saw the monarch butterflies that roost here on their way south. They hiked along the sand on a lonely beach and looked for humpback whales with binoculars. They didn't get to see any but the adventure was in the trying. They strolled hand in hand around town and shared an ice-cream cone. She was pleasantly surprised that she got to see the town after all. On Saturday night, Alice wore her red dress to dinner in the dining room of the B & B.

The night was chilly and clear as they sat on the balcony, warmed by the quilt they cuddled under. They sipped their wine and whispered and laughed. When it grew very late they ducked inside and shared a bubble bath in the huge claw foot tub and then made mad love in the big down covered bed. Alice realized that she and Jasper had a similar sense of humor. They teased each other and laughed constantly.

They delayed their departure and didn't leave until after dinner on Sunday evening. They held hands on the three hour drive back to Berkeley. Jasper pulled up in front of Alice's house at ten o'clock and she kissed him good-bye in the car. "I don't want to risk getting caught in a clinch again." she told him. He helped her upstairs with her bag but declined to come into the house. Alice understood. Renee could be daunting.

#

The next week sailed by. After the visit to the site in Fremont, Alice came up with some awesome ideas and she worked on them night and day. The weeks went by and Jasper and Alice continued their affair. There was a pattern to it. He went away often for business, but he would see her when he returned, usually meeting her after work and taking her out to an early dinner. They would return to his flat and make love until midnight, then he would drive her home. They never included others in their nights together, for the most part it was a highly secretive affair. They didn't hide it, but neither did they announce it. Rumors continued to spread around the office, but to most people watching, Alice and Japer were close, but since there were no definitive signs of affection, it was still speculated about.

However, over the course of a few weeks, Alice, slowly became dissatisfied. As hot as the sex with Jasper was, she found the affair stultifying. When Jasper was with her it was sex, sex and more sex. Over their dinners, Jasper talked sex, and even at work, he would fine the time to stop by her office and engage in flirtation and innuendo. Alice found it a little annoying and tried to introduce subjects that may be of interest to him, but he was like a one trick pony.

In November, she invited him to Bella's surprise birthday party but he had a business trip. He also declined her invitation to Thanksgiving dinner (he flew to see his family in Colorado) and they spent it apart. Alice was a little relieved, that is until she found out Renee had matchmaking on her mind and had invited the elusive Dr. Mike D' Souza.

Fortunately, Renee couldn't pull a fast one because the young doctor had gone home to Louisiana for Turkey Day too.

Bella had come home for the holidays as well. She shared a place up in Napa so she wouldn't have to commute and she managed the trip down every other weekend. Alice enjoyed the time at home with Bella and Renee. It was just like old times. Renee doted on her younger daughter and quite frankly so did Alice. Bella was such an uncomplicated little soul that it was hard not to love her and want to be sweet to her.

Alice spent Thanksgiving weekend thinking a lot about a lot of things. How long would their little family last? How long would it be before Bella and Chris decided to tie the knot. Alice realized that she did not want to live home alone with Renee forever. That would be a nightmare. She decided that she would start looking for a flat just after the New Year.

#

November drifted into December. The personnel director had sent out flyers regarding a mandatory training on _Sexual Harassment in the Workplace._ When Alice freaked, rushing into Jasper's office to tell him about the seminar, certain that she and Jasper were being targeted, he informed her that the company had the same required training every year. The staff all attended it at a facility offsite. She breathed a sigh of relief.

The site of the training was in a building not too far from the offices of Hale Designs, and they all trooped there on foot. Alice barely listened to the lecture as she absent-mindedly leafed through the little pamphlets. Suddenly she realized that the room had gone quiet. She perked up and asked her neighbor, Pablo, what was being discussed.

"Maria asked if knowing that two people are having a relationship and feeling uncomfortable in their presence, constitutes "workplace sexual harassment." he informed her out of the side of his mouth.

The lecturer was taking her time answering the question. "I guess that would depend on the company policy. Whether or not there is a rule against employees dating each other. I don't know Hale Designs policy but I do know that there are times when two people in the workplace are married to each other. Certainly if other employees know about that relationship and are not comfortable with it, that cannot be construed as sexual harassment.

I went to a law firm last week and gave this seminar. Two of the partners are married to each other and another two are engaged. Relationships do spring up at work, because that's where we spend most of our time and that closeness can lead to a more personal relationship. But sexual harassment is not so much the relationship, but rather does one person feel that they have to have that relationship in order to keep their job and be treated fairly. Are they feeling pressured? Do they feel they don't have the ability to make a choice about that relationship? Do they feel or have they suffered consequences because of that choice?

That's what we have to keep in mind. On a personal note, I want to say that my parents worked together and met on the job. I also met my husband when I was a teacher and he was the principal. Not every personal relationship that starts between co-workers will fit the definition for sexual harassment. But again I defer to company policy. Many companies that do not want to deal with this murky grey area institute a policy of no dating by co-workers. Mr. Hale does your company have such a policy?"

Jasper cleared his throat and said, "No, it doesn't. We just have a policy that the relationship is not flaunted at work."

The lecturer continued with the slideshow and took more questions. Alice continued to leaf through her booklets. Alice wondered if Ms Maria 'Grumpy' Blake would ever just lighten up. She was starting to suspect that Maria had had her eye on Jasper before she, Alice, came into the picture. The thought brought a picture to her mind of Jasper and Grumpy humping in bed. Her vivid imagination had Grumpy riding Jasper with a stern look on her face and a whip as Jasper cowered under her.

Alice almost burst out laughing. She turned the bubble of laughter into a cough. Her shoulders started to shake and she got up to take a restroom break before she embarrassed herself by doubling over and clutching her belly. She felt hysterical laughter welling up and she practically sprinted to the exit door. As soon as it closed a series of loud cackles escaped from her throat, she laughed until tears gathered in the corner of her eyes. When she recovered she went in search of the bathroom to pee and fix her face.

When she came back, Jasper was waiting in the hall. The doors to the auditorium were open and the crowd was milling about inside. A few people were leaving and walking towards the elevator. "Lunch break." he explained.

"What are you doing for lunch?" Alice asked him.

The expression on his face told her what he'd like to do for lunch and it had nothing to do with food. "I'm meeting you at the top of the stairs." He said urgently and left.

Some folks were taking the elevator and a tiny few were choosing to run down the stairs. Alice went back into the bathroom and took off her panty and stuffed it into her bag. Her heart thundered in anticipation but she dallied until everyone was gone. As she opened the staircase door and ran up two flights to meet her waiting lover her juices flowed.

Jasper did not disappoint. When he grabbed her and kissed her she felt him against her abdomen, rock hard and ready. So was she. He backed her into the door to the roof and yanked up her skirt and moaned as he felt her naked bottom. He knelt and lifted her leg over his right shoulder. Alice's first orgasm ripped through her in less than a minute. Jasper stood and quickly unzipped and his slacks and his underwear slipped to his knees. Alice panted as she hurriedly helped him put on a condom. He grabbed her bottom and squeezed before lifting her up to meet his hips. Alice wrapped her legs around him and he entered her with a forceful push. "Mmm, that's it, that's what I need, you feel so good, so sweet Alice." His face was in the crook of her neck as he pumped into her again and again.

Alice held on tight to his shoulders. His shaft stroked her nub at just the right angle and she let him know. "Yees, right there Jasper. Don't stop. Come on, give it to me hard." She licked his lobe and nipped it and Jasper pushed harder. And she moaned in delight as she urged him to push her over the brink to heart-stopping satisfaction. Her body was on fire as she felt the buzz begin. "Jasper, I'm coming." The buzz became electric as her nub trembled and she tightened. They both tumbled over into bliss with groans and gasps.

As he stood there recovering, he was still inside her, pinning her to the wall. Alice stroked his damp hair. He whispered in her ear, "Alice, my god you're perfect, you fit me like no one else ever has." And his mouth reached to cover hers in a deep, wet kiss.

Alice couldn't help but think of the irony of the situation; sexual harassment seminar downstairs, she and her boss screwing two floors above. Was she crazy? Was he? Were they addicted to the risk? Is that what the big draw was? Was there anything substantial to their involvement with each other, or was it all about screwing? She feared that her question had already given her the answer.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Five

Hale Designs holiday party was held on the Wednesday before Christmas, since many people were going out of town for the holidays. Days before, everyone picked a name out of a hat and they had to buy a gift under twenty-five dollars for that person. The gifts were placed under the tree or under the menorah. Soft drinks and champagne flowed and there were tidbits on the table in the large conference room on the fifteenth floor. A hired actor, a dead ringer for Santa, real snow white beard and eyebrows, and round belly that did not require extra padding, was there to hand out the presents.

Once again the offices of Hale Designs was merry and whooping it up. Santa's chair was decorated in fake holly and mistletoe. Alice stood against the wall and watched the festivities. When you wear your sex appeal on your sleeve, many women won't count you as a friend and Alice was used to that. All through high school she had only a nodding acquaintance with other girls, she pretty much had herself and boys for company.

Same here in the grown-up world, Alice reflected. Women kept far away. Standing next to her was James on her left and Peter on her right, both of them attractive and attracted to her, but wary of doing anything about it because of the rumors.

Santa called the first name and it was Derek. Derek opened his present, a travel kit, and read the name of his 'Secret Santa'. "It's from…Bethany. Thanks Bethany." Santa called each name in turn, and he gave each man his present, with no fuss. But when it was a pretty female, he required her to sit on his lap and make a wish in his ear. It was all in fun and most of the women complied. He called Willow's name and she sat on his lap and whispered in his ear. Santa said, "If you're a good little girl you will get your wish." Then he gave her the gift and Willow opened it. It was a teapot for one. "It's from Jenna, thanks Jenna." He called each person by name. Some gifts were sweet, some were gag gifts. Santa called Maria's name and he handed her the festively wrapped package, he did not ask her to sit on his lap. (He's probably worried about his own package, Alice snickered to herself). Maria opened the gift and it was a foot massager, she read the card aloud. "It's from… Alice. Thank you, Alice." she grimaced, and Alice smiled politely in response. When Alice had made the purchase it was with the fervent hope that maybe, just maybe, the foot massager would relax Maria enough that she would be able to pull that giant rod out of her ass.

Santa called Paul Kincaid, and then James and then Tiffany. Then he called Jasper. Jasper took his gift and opened it. It was a 'Do Not Disturb' plaque for his doorknob. Everyone laughed and clapped, Alice had a fleeting suspicion that this gift came with innuendo and was a little nastier than just a run-of-the-mill-gag gift, but changed her mind when he read the name of the giver. "From Charlotte, thank you Charlotte; but I thought that was your job, to make sure no one disturbs me." Everyone laughed.

"It's for when I'm not here. I want to make sure you're covered." she replied. Everyone laughed again.

The process went on and on and then Alice's name was called. She walked over to Santa's chair. In the spirit of the holiday, and in her own unique style, she was wearing a bright red wool/silk knit dress. It had a bateau neck which emphasized her elegant neck and collarbone, and sleeves which came to just below her elbow. The dress was clingy but flared slightly at the bottom where it came to a very respectable four inches above her knees. She had on a wide black belt with red patent buckle and her black suede knee length boots.

The many bottles of champagne consumed may have gotten everyone a little tipsy, because as she stopped in front of Santa's chair the cat calls and whistling began. When Santa patted his lap, the whistling and whooping reached an all time high, Alice could barely hear herself think. Alice glanced at Jasper and saw that he was smiling and clapping too. As the noise lessened, she perched on the very edge of Santa's knee and he said "Ho, ho, ho, you can do better than that my dear." Santa pulled her fully onto his lap and the whooping and laughter became downright raucous. Someone said, "Go Santa, you the man!" and Alice almost bolted for her office. Santa held out his white-gloved hand and asked the crowd for quiet, "Pipe down, sssh. Sssh." It took Santa a couple of minutes to settle the crowd. "Now tell me your wish little girl."

Alice held up her hand near his ear as she whispered her secret wish. The cat calls started up again. Alice finished and Santa calmed the crowd of rabble rousers. He picked up her hand and kissed it and said, "You shall have your wish, my dear." and he gave her the gift from her Secret Santa. She opened it and it was a musical snow globe. Alice read the card. "It's from Jasper, thank you Jasper." She looked into his blue eyes, and he stared into hers, he was grinning from ear to ear. The crowd was watching quietly, and Alice thought she heard a sigh. She stood up and Santa called the next name.

After the gift giving was over, everyone milled about and drank and ate some more. And many more started leaving early, calling it a day. Alice went to her office and turned the key on the snow globe. "Unchained Melody" was the tune and the scene was Big Sur. It was so beautiful.

Jasper knocked on her door and came in. "Do you like it?"

She walked over to him and gave him a big hug. "Yes, I do. I love it. You're very sweet."

"I saw you looking at it in the gift shop when we were in Big Sur. When you turned away, I bought it and had them send it to me. Then I had to pay someone a hefty price to get you as my Secret Santa you know." His blue eyed twinkled. "Now after all that hard work can I get a proper kiss?"

"It's not a gift if I have to pay you with a kiss." She argued.

He held up a leaf, "But I've got mistletoe, you must give me a kiss. Santa said so."

Alice gave him a peck on the cheek.

"That's not a real kiss, Alice."

"That's not real mistletoe, Jasper, it's plastic." He tickled her and she giggled and struggled.

Jasper wrapped her in a tender embrace. "Forget the mistletoe, give me a kiss because you want to."

She tugged on his tie, and pulled him down to her. "I always want to kiss you." He held her by the shoulders and brushed his closed lips against hers, again and again. Until her tongue licked the corner of his mouth and he finally gave in and kissed her fully.

"Alice, sleep with me all night tonight." He asked her when he finally stopped kissing her.

She squirmed out of his arms. "I can't. I told you not during the week, I have work tomorrow. I'll be tired and I don't have any clothes at your place."

"Haven't you found a flat yet?" She had told him that she intended to move out of her mother's house and he was looking forward to it. He was not comfortable spending anytime in Renee Swan's house.

Alice went to sit back in her chair, moving in it from side to side. "Nope. But I will soon. I want to live close to BART, for the commute."

"I'll look for a place for you, here in the city, so you don't have to commute."

Shaking her head, her voice firm, she rejected his suggestion in a way he could not misconstrue. "I already told you, no. There's no way I'm allowing you to pay for a flat for me. Plus, I want to live in Berkeley, not here. You just want me conveniently close."

He pulled her up and wrapped both arms around her waist. "Can you blame me? I want you as near as I can get you. Alice, please sleep over tonight. I'm flying to Colorado tomorrow evening. This is the only night we can celebrate Christmas. Take tomorrow off, half the office will be gone anyway."

She pushed him away. "Jasper, I resent these last minute requests. I have nothing, no extra underwear, no toothbrush, no change of clothes. Nada. Even if I don't come to work, I have to wear the same clothes again tomorrow. You can't expect me to always be packed and ready so that I can accommodate you whenever you want me to sleep over. At least give me some notice. Be more considerate, for fuck's sake." Alice's voice had risen and her chest was heaving. Jasper turned on his heels and walked out of her office.

Alice knew he was angry, but she didn't care. It was always about him and what he wanted. She sat in her chair and resumed work on the latest project. A minute later, Jasper came back with a Christmas present for her.

He placed it on her desk in front of her. "Here! Merry Christmas."

"You already gave me a gift." She crossed her arms and pursed her lips sulkily, refusing to touch it.

He grabbed her by the chin and kissed her hard. Pulling away he said, "That one was from your Secret Santa, this is from me."

She opened it and it was a Prada leather weekender bag. _He's spent way too much money on me_, she thought to herself. "Thanks" she said, "It's very, very nice."

"Open it." His arms were crossed over his chest and his blue eyes were watching her.

She unzipped it and inside she found a smaller present to unwrap. It was a leather case with tooth brush, floss and toothpaste. In yet another gift box she found a brush and comb set. There was also a Saks gift box and she opened it. There were several lingerie pieces from Natori, sexy panties and two deliciously colorful silk nightgowns and a robe.

She put her face in her hands and burst into tears. She felt him pick her up and he sat down in the chair with her on his lap. "Shhh! Alice, don't cry. Please stop crying."

When she stopped she whispered. "I'm a wicked witch. I'm sorry." She kissed his neck and his cheek and his chin. She kissed him all over his face. "I don't deserve you."

"Does that mean you'll spend the night with me?"

"Yes, I will." and she pulled his head down to hers and kissed him.

#

They left the office at three o'clock and took a taxi to Jasper's place. Jasper's place was noticeably cleaner, obviously today was the day his cleaning lady came. There was a little three foot tree on a table and he had lights and ornaments in boxes. "Will you help me trim our tree?"

Alice realized he had really planned a little pre-Christmas celebration for just the two of them to enjoy. Lately, Alice had been feeling that he wasn't really interested in a relationship, that for him it was mostly about the sex, but this made her think otherwise. He put on Christmas music and brought out the eggnog and they had a wonderful time decorating the tree. They danced to "Rocking around the Christmas Tree" and threw tinsel on each other.

Then they walked down to the supermarket and Alice, who was no chef, bought Stove Top and thick sliced turkey breast, potatoes, and canned gravy. She made a holiday casserole for two. She layered all the ingredients and baked it. Martha Stewart, she wasn't, but it was tasty and filling and gave them a little holiday pre-taste.

"Mmm that was good." Jasper complimented her.

"Don't get used to it, I'm not a cook. That's Bella's thing. I think when I settle down and have a family I'll make sure we live near her so she can do all the cooking for me." Alice joked.

Jasper laughed, "I just can't see you married with kids."

"How _do_ you see me? In the future, I mean."

"I think you're too exciting for married life. I see you partying on yachts in a bikini and having a good time, always the life of the party."

"Well, I can't do that forever. I won't be the life of the party when I'm fifty. You have a very narrow idea of me, don't you?"

"Alice, let's not argue again. I meant nothing by it."

"I'm not arguing." She wanted to ask him why he thought of her as only wanting a good time; ask him why he had this one-dimensional view of her, but knew that he was not in the mood for it. "We'll drop the subject." She snuggled into his arms and they sat watching the blinking lights on the tree. After a few minutes she jumped up excitedly. "Oh, I almost forgot to give you your gift." Alice got up and presented him with a gift bag. Inside was a festively-wrapped flat box. "Merry Christmas, Jasper. It reminded me of you."

He opened it. It was a beautiful cobalt blue silk robe that matched his eyes perfectly. "Thank you, very much." He gave her a kiss.

"Try it on." She urged him.

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours." He teased.

"Let's race." Alice laughed and shed her clothes quickly. She reached into the overnight bag for the robe he had given her, and put it on. She didn't bother with the nightgown. "Ta Da!" she turned around and showed him.

He wasn't ready yet. His clothes were off, but he was just getting the robe out of the box. Alice jumped up and down on the couch chanting, "I wi-in, I wi-in, I wi-in." and "You lo-ose, you lo-ose. "

He stared at her smiling as she jumped up and down. He finished putting on his robe. "You're a cheater." he accused. "You had less clothes to take off."

She got down off the couch. "You're a sore loser. You don't usually regard my wearing less clothes as cheating." she teased. "You look very, very handsome Mr. Jude Lawless." She undid the belt he had just tied, and gazed at his naked body with lust. She opened her own robe and pressed her naked body against his. She snaked her arms around his neck and pulled his head down for a deep wet kiss. "Merry Christmas, Jasper."

Jasper picked her up and carried her to his bed. The first time they made love they were so eager they still had their robes on when they were done. The second time was slow and sizzling. Afterwards, Alice was lying in his arms, head on his chest, stroking his arm. "Alice, I can't understand it. Making love to you is so much better than it was with anyone else."

"Maybe it's because you're starting to fall in love with me." She suggested as she ran her fingers up and down his firm belly.

He fell silent and still. She looked up at him, seeing that he was searching for the words to say. Alice was not going to let him off the hook, so she watched the emotions play across his face and she waited. He was either going to tell her how he felt, or she was going to drag it out of him.

"Alice let's take this for what it is, okay. Let's not push it. I don't do love."

Alice rolled on top of him and lay between his legs. She looked into his face. This was going to be a serious conversation.

"Have you ever been in love? Or said you were in love? With anybody? Ever?" She needed to know.

"Other than when I was a teenager? No. Never."

"How did you get away with that?"

"I don't lie. If I'm asked I have to tell the truth. Usually it leads to an argument and a break up. How about you?"

"Well _all_ my boyfriends have told me that they loved me. And, yes, before you ask, I've told all of them that I loved them. But then I'm a lot younger than you."

"Ouch!"

"Well, I mean that I haven't had as many relationships. Jake, was my high school sweetheart. Then he graduated and left for New York and I dated Kyle, the super jock and class valedictorian. Then _I_ graduated and left for college in New York. There I dated one of my professors, whom I was madly in love with. I broke it off after almost two years when I found out he'd lied about being divorced. He was married with a second baby on the way. That fucker turned me off relationships for a long, long time. Then I met Jake again, totally by accident, and we reconnected. We dated for a year and a half. And now you."

"That's it? You've only had three lovers?"

She touched his chest, "Four. That's it. I'm good aren't I?" She smiled confidently and rolled off him. She raised her arms to stretch like a cat next to him. "Sex comes naturally to me, I think it's in my genes. Jake always cried after we made love. He said he could never be with anybody else. Then, of course, he was. After we broke up he called me many times, begging me to come back to him. Because he said no one makes him feel the way I do."

She looked directly into Jasper's eyes and her voice lowered to just above a whisper. "And you know what? No one ever will, because I put a spell on him. I put a curse on every man I'm with, so be warned, Jasper." She sat up and slowly and gracefully waved her hands above his face, and spoke softly and hypnotically. "Jasper Hale, you will never, ever find another lover like me. You'll want me and only me forever. Poof!"

Alice burst out in a series of loud witchy cackles and she saw an odd look pass over Jasper's face. "You're cursed, you're cursed, for evah!" She cackled once again, for good measure. She looked at Jasper and for a second she could swear she saw a fearful look flicker in his eyes, and that made her burst into genuine laughter. Alice laughed and laughed rolling around on the bed until tears came to her eyes. She got up and ran to the bathroom.

When she came back Jasper was still in bed. And she got in next to him and hugged him. The giggles still weren't too far away. Jasper turned to her and held her in his arms, looking earnestly into her eyes. His voice was low and urgent as though he wanted to make sure she understood every word he was saying. "Alice, you _are _the best lover I've ever had. There's something about you, the way you kiss me and move with me and feel me. And I know that every time we're together it's even better than the time before. But that isn't the same thing as love. I'm not falling in love with you."

It suddenly occurred to Alice that he was like a dog with a bone. A serious, boring, old dog with a bone. Who wouldn't let it go, or let her in.

She rolled her eyes and patted his cheek. "I know that. Don't worry your pretty little head over it Jasper. I'm not in love with you, either. I'm just in lust with you." She ran her thumb over his lips and opened them to give him a deep wet kiss. She pulled away and whispered in his ear, "I'm sick of this subject, can we talk about something else. Or better yet let's make love, hmm?"

She kissed him again and he rolled on top of her and kissed her deeply. They made sweet slow love all night long. Alice lost herself in the sensation of being kissed and licked and touched and stroked by him, knowing full well that their time together was coming to an end.

#

Christmas was wonderful. Bella came home on Thursday evening and they went shopping for the tree. Alice, Bella and Renee sang along to Nat Cole, Dean Martin, Johnny Mathis and Bing Crosby and decorated the tree.

The following day they went shopping for groceries and last minute gifts. Christmas Eve night the ham was in the oven and the sweet smell of Christmas past, present and future filled the Swan house. Renee Swan prepared side dishes and Bella baked holiday cakes. Alice 'helped' by imbibing the holiday rum freely. In no time she was tipsy. Very tipsy.

At midnight Alice's cell phone rang. It was Jasper. "I want to be the first to wish you Merry Christmas, Alice. Am I?"

"Yes, you are. Merry Christmas, Jasper. Are you having a good time in Coldorado?" Her words were full of merriment, she laughed at her inadvertent pun.

"Yes, it's snowing, it's beautiful. I wish you were here, your sweet little naked body, lying in bed with me." His voice was husky.

_Then why didn't you ask me?_ Alice wanted to ask him. He's so full of shit. "Then get out on those ski shlopes. Maybe you'll get lucky, and meet a Cold- Coldoradan to lie in bed with you." Her voice was slurred, soft and sexy even though her words were hard and mean.

"Alice, what's wrong?" The sexy huskiness was gone from his voice.

"Nothing is wrong." she chuckled. "It sheems as though you're in desperate need of shex, so I was wishing you luck with that. I would hate for you to come back home with cold blue balls." She started to giggle uncontrollably.

"You know Alice I called to have romantic pillow talk with you and you're ridiculing me." He was heated.

She was still giggling. "Romantic pillow talk, my ass. You called for a phone fuck, you horny bastard. On Christmas. Have you no shame?" She laughed at him.

"Alice, I'm going to hang up if you don't stop doing this."

"I'll save you the trouble." and she hung up on him. She laughed and laughed as she pictured his surprise. The thought briefly crossed her mind that maybe she shouldn't have had that fifth glass of rum punch.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Six

Christmas Day dawned beautiful and bright. Alice had a momentary pang of guilt when she thought about Jasper, but it quickly passed. The Swan women opened presents and had their traditional family holiday breakfast of French toast, ham and egg omelets and berry mimosas.

Alice was not looking forward to Christmas dinner. Renee had finally succeeded in getting the doctor to come over. Chris and his family arrived and they chatted and nibbled on hors d'oeuvres while waiting for the young doctor to show up. Alice dressed to unimpress, in jeans and a huge, well-worn, misshapen cable knit sweater. The phone rang and a few minutes later Renee came to tell them the bad news, the doctor had to go in to the hospital, they were short-staffed and he was on call. Alice almost let out a 'yippee' but restrained herself. She had managed to escape the noose once again.

Alice spent all the following day cleaning and packing her less used stuff in boxes. She had every intention of moving out of Renee's house and she had given herself one month to do it. It was exciting to move even if she didn't know where she was moving to yet. She felt that with the power of positive thinking and positive action she was going to get a flat, but she even chanted on it, just to give herself an edge.

The following afternoon she drove Bella up to Napa and lingered a little, having lunch and chatting with her little sister. She worried about Bella a lot. She was so young, but she led such a quiet uncomplicated life that Alice sometimes felt that she was only half alive. She wondered if one day in the future, long after she had married Chris and had babies, Bella would wake up and regret the choices she'd made. She never did anything remotely exciting. The only excitement was her belly dancing, and that was it. Bella was the quintessential good girl, calm and accepting. She kissed her little sister good-bye and got back into her little blue Toyota and drove back to Berkeley.

On a whim she stopped at the book store on Shattuck and lingered, looking for some of the classics that she had left behind when she moved from her apartment in New York. She ran into Seth, an old friend from high school. They talked for a bit and he gave her a lead on a flat by the North Berkeley Bart that would be coming available in mid-February.

When she got home she told her mom the exciting news. Naturally, Renee was not too thrilled. She saw this as Alice's great escape out of her sphere of influence and into the arms of Jasper. Alice went back to her packing and she whistled a happy tune.

Back at work Alice accomplished quite a few things. Jasper would not be back from Colorado the whole week, and Alice worked like the dickens on the project in Fremont as well as the new project they were assigned just before Christmas. Not surprisingly the tension and rumors in the office abated when Jasper wasn't there. She even went out to lunch with Aleksandr, James and Willow. They had a blast.

By Friday she was ready to unwind and have fun. Jasper had never mentioned whether he would be back for New Year's Eve and she assumed he wouldn't be. Besides he hadn't called her since the Christmas phone call and she hadn't felt like calling him. So she went ahead and said 'yes' to a date with a cutie she met through a mutual friend. Felix was new to the Bay Area from Australia.

She planned to wear a strappy little silver lame dress and strappy silver heels to match. She was excited to go out dancing. They were going to meet mutual friends at a private party held at a club in SOMA. Felix walked to her house at ten and she drove them to the city. He was friendly and lighthearted so she was looking forward to the evening. They met up with their group and got a table.

From the moment she got there Alice was out on the dance floor. The music was great and the group she was with was tons of fun. They drank and partied the night away. Jasper never crossed her mind, not even for a second. And when the countdown hit 'one' she happily kissed Felix to welcome in the New Year.

After the club they all went to dry out at a twenty four hour diner on Mission before driving home. Alice was laughing, flirting and sharing a big breakfast with Felix when she saw Jessica staring at her. For a few seconds she couldn't quite place the face, but when she finally did she waved 'hi' to her and kept eating. She got up to use the rest room and had to walk by the receptionist, so she stopped and talked.

"Hi, fancy meeting you here. Small world." Alice greeted her lightly.

"Hi yourself. Are you here with anybody?" Her eyes were darting around, no doubt looking for Jasper.

"What a strange question." Alice quirked one eyebrow, " I'm here with friends, the friends you see at my table. And you?"

"I'm here with friends too."

"So we're both here with friends. Goody for us."

Alice sauntered to the bathroom and when she came back Jessica was gone. Alice knew there would be a new round of gossip at work. She couldn't wait to hear what it would be.

#

Indeed, on her first day back at work, Alice dressed for intimidation. She wore a navy pin striped suit that she had bought in Italy the previous summer. The slim pants were tightly fitted to show every curve and the double breasted jacket nipped in at the waist and came to just above her hips. She wore a white silk see through shirt and a man's red tie. Her stiletto boots gave her added height. She thought she looked hot, hotter than hot, actually. When she got off the elevator she saw the enemy immediately, Jessica was whispering to Jenna, and stopped abruptly when Alice approached.

Alice nodded and walked past her and went to her office. Alice heard nary a peep all morning long as she worked. No calls, no knocks on her door, she had a creepy feeling about this. She had a noon meeting with Paul Kincaid and she walked down the hall to his office. She turned the corner and bumped into Jasper, who reached out his hand to steady her.

"Good morning, Jasper, welcome back." She had almost forgotten how handsome he was. His hair was a shade lighter and he looked bronzed and well rested.

"Good morning, Alice. Thank you, it's good to be back." He smiled at her, apparently forgiving the Christmas conversation.

"I hope your trip was fun."

"Yes it was. Lots."

"Well, please excuse me, I have a meeting with Paul." Alice started down the hall.

Jasper walked after her and put a hand on her arm to stop her. "Didn't you hear? Paul is out. He'll be out for quite a while. He broke his right arm, fractured his leg in three places, cracked a few ribs, and punctured his lung too."

Alice was shocked, "Oh my God!"

"Holiday skiing accident." He explained.

"No, no. I didn't hear about it. Thanks for telling me. Would you excuse me, Jasper, I have to make a call to a client." Alice walked hurriedly back down the hall to her office.

She was about to call the new client to cancel the lunch that she and Paul had scheduled with him, when Jasper walked into her office.

"Alice, I know that you and Paul had scheduled a Thursday lunch with Ray Zaragoza. Don't cancel it. If we do we might lose the job. I'll move some appointments around and I'll go with you."

"Jasper, I'm a little worried about this project. Paul and I have not really had a meeting on it yet. We were supposed to present something to the client. I have only the work that I've done. If Paul is going to be out for a while, we may need another lead architect on our team." There was an edge of panic to her voice.

"I'll work on it with you today and tomorrow and we'll see if we need to bring someone else in at that point, okay? If I bring anyone in it will most likely be Maria, so do the best you can." Jasper was well aware of the sour relationship between Alice and Maria.

"Okay. Do you think I can call him and get the work that he's done on it so far. Aleksandr and the others were not really working on this yet."

"Ask Willow to call his wife at home. See if she can get on it."

"Great. Thanks Jasper." Alice smiled her relief.

He smiled in return, his beautiful blue eyes twinkling, "Don't mention it. By the way I heard that you were spotted on New Year's Eve with your boyfriend." His smile was mischievous as he cocked his brow waiting for a response.

Alice was nonchalant, "Yeah, we ran into 'big mouth' Jessica, at the diner after the party. Up until that point I was having a wonderful time."

He crossed his arms over his chest and looked at her for a long time and she crossed her arms and looked right back at him. He grinned but she maintained the same deadpan expression. She was ready for the showdown.

Her phone rang and she turned her back to him to answer the call. "This is Alice Swan."

The call was brief and when she turned back, Jasper was gone.

#

Willow drove to Paul's house and got his work on the project and the whole team met with Jasper that afternoon. It was a huge project for an office park and they had very little so far. Jasper reviewed her sketches and he went with hers rather than Paul's. He asked her to come up with a few more ideas and the team worked on specs. The site was in Martinez, just about thirty miles away.

She and Jasper worked tirelessly all day on Tuesday and well into the late evening.

By Wednesday it was coming together and the presentation looked like it would be pretty good. She was about to leave at nine o'clock on Wednesday night, the office was deadly quiet and when Jasper came into her office, she was surprised.

"I thought I was the only one still here." She said.

"No, I'm still working too. Sometimes I'm here until midnight."

"I guess this company is your baby, huh?'

"You could say that. It's my wife and my baby." He laughed.

"Oh." In that moment Alice understood more about Jasper than she had in the weeks before. He was driven by the need to be successful, this firm was the most important thing in his life.

"Alice, would you mind if I made a suggestion to you about tomorrow's meeting?"

She sat down in her chair, ready to listen. "No, of course not. Please, go ahead." She was interested to hear his last minute pointers.

He cleared his throat. "Wear a skirt or a dress. The masculine look doesn't suit you."

Alice's brows knitted, not sure if she had heard him correctly. "What? Are you kidding? You're telling me how to dress?" She almost wanted to hit him.

"Remember, I said it was a suggestion." He shrugged and held up his hands indicating he had no real say. "You can dress as you like, of course."

She was miffed. "Fine, Jasper. No slacks." She thought she looked hella good in that pinstripe suit.

Jasper continued, but with a hint of laughter in his voice. "Your new lover may like that masculine look on you, but it may not go over too well with the clients, especially Zaragoza."

Alice felt like laughing, imagining herself and the fictional new lover who liked masculine women. "I said fine, Jasper. Didn't you hear me? No slacks." It was hard to keep a straight face.

But he continued, he wouldn't stop talking about it. "Do you ever ask him why he likes that look on you? Is he kinky?" Jasper looked like he was ready to laugh too.

"Okay, Jasper. That's enough. And that is _none_ of your business." She tried to sound firm, like she wanted to keep her private life private.

He sat on the edge of her desk facing her in her chair and ran his finger down her cheek. "Maybe you two like to get into role playing, switching things up, gender bending and..." At that point she just had to bring a stop to the crazy.

She giggled and got up from her chair. "Jasper there is no new lover, and you know it, okay. Just stop." She laughed and laughed at the kinky role playing idea.

He laughed too. They both got a good laugh and then he got serious and tender. "I never thought there was, Alice. But you wanted to use the excuse of a new lover to keep me away, why?" He reached out and held her by the shoulders and turned her to look at him.

She sighed and looked up at his face. "I guess I'm tired of 'us', Jasper." And she was, really tired of it.

"Alice how could you be tired of this?" And he drew her close and wrapped her in his arms, caressing her shoulders and back all the way down to her bottom. He kissed her neck and bit her earlobe. His lips traveled from under her ear along the line of her jaw to her lips.

She pulled away from him. "Jasper, I'm not tired of the sex, I know we have great sex. I really don't know what I'm tired of. I just am."

He pulled her back into his arms and kissed her neck, breathing in her perfumed skin. "Alice I've missed you, so much. It's been too long. Just give me a kiss and it will all come back to you." He whispered huskily.

"Here's the kiss that I really want to give you." And she pulled him down and kissed him on his cheek.

Jasper pointed to his lips, "Here Alice, here."

She shook her head. "Jasper, I've been thinking that I like you a lot; a whole lot. You're funny and terribly smart and I think that if you weren't so tempting and pretty you'd be best friend material. In addition to being gorgeous, you're interesting, sexy and a very good lover. Actually, the best lover I've ever had. But that's just not good enough."

Jasper was no fool, but he'd never had anyone break up with him so he was caught off guard, he wasn't getting it. "Wow, what brought on all this praise? What are you trying to say?" His smile was warm and his eyes were questioning.

"Well, Jasper. I think this is it. We're at the end of the road. "We" are not going any further." She said quietly.

He was beginning to understand, but he didn't want to. His jaw clenched and his whole face was tight. "Alice, talk straight, no bullshit. Just say exactly what you mean."

She nodded. "I want us to be just friends, or, if you don't want that, just boss and employee. No flirting, no kissing, no one on one lunches, I won't be having sex with you anymore."

"Why? What happened? You _did_ meet someone else, didn't you?" He took her by the shoulders and started to shake her. Then he realized what he was doing and quickly let her go.

She sunk onto the corner of her desk. "No. I didn't meet someone else. I partied with friends on New Year's Eve, but nothing serious. I don't have another lover or even another prospective lover. To be honest, I'm thinking of taking another break from men. I need to rethink this whole dating shit. Apparently, I'm really bad at it."

Jasper whirled on her angrily, and brought his face inches from hers. "It's because I didn't tell you I love you, isn't it?"

She blinked and looked at the floor. "It's a lot of things Jasper, and yes, that's a little part of it, I will admit. But there is so much more to it than just that. Honestly, I hate being your dirty little secret, and that's what I am, we only meet for sex. And yes, quite frankly, I do feel uncomfortable with the office politics and the rumors, I thought that I would be able to handle it, but I can't. Maybe if we had more than just sex going on I would be able to but we don't." she shrugged.

She finally looked into his eyes as he listened from across the room by the window. "There's an inequity here, and I don't like it. You used to bring your old girlfriend Sue to functions and take her to meet your family and you don't do that with me. I am nobody to you." She sighed and continued.

"The truth is I was asking you about love to get a feel for you. And I realized you and I were going nowhere. I'm not going to say I love you, because I don't, I never did. But I was opening up to the possibility of having something normal with you, and you weren't open to it at all."

Alice paused and then got up the courage to go on. "You told me you've never said 'I love you'. I think you're the kind of guy who's afraid of 'I love you' because you think it's a promise to commit to marriage and forever. For me 'I love you' is a promise to keep going deeper and being more intimate and learning and enjoying more about each other. I don't think you want deeper you want shallow. And to be honest, I don't want to waste my time with you, anymore."

He looked at her as though she had slapped him, he was stunned. He was trying to read into her eyes to see if there was any other message in there.

"Waste your time? Was it a waste of time? I thought we were having fun, both enjoying what we had."

"It was fun, at first, but then it became a hassle."

"Are you kidding me? You never said anything about it being a hassle."

"Look. I'm saying it now. I don't want to have sex with you anymore. Get it? No more sex." She sighed, all of a sudden she felt truly exhausted. "Jasper I need to get home, it's late. Goodnight." Picking up her coat and bag, she opened her door and walked to the elevators.

When she was gone, Jasper sank heavily into her leather chair. He leaned back and stared at the ceiling. He felt as though something just went horribly wrong, and he had no idea how to right it.

#

The following day Alice and Jasper met with the client for lunch. They had a kick ass presentation and the client loved it. Later, back at the office the team met with Jasper and he informed them that Alice would be the lead on the project. The announcement came as a complete surprise to Alice. The project was one of the largest that Hale had ever done. She felt sure that Jasper would want someone more experienced as the lead.

That afternoon she knocked on the door of his office. "Jasper I need to see you for a few minutes, are you free?"

"Yeah, sure. Come in."

"Jasper I'm really nervous. This is a big project and I'm not sure if I'm the person to lead it."

"Alice I would not have given it to you if I thought you weren't capable. I know you can do it. If you need anything ask me and I'll help, but this is yours."

"I'm not sure Jasper, what if I screw up? Do you trust me not to? 'Cause I don't trust myself.

"I trust you. You're smart and innovative and creatively brilliant. Alice, you are talented and this company is lucky to have you. It's your first lead on a project and it's perfectly understandable that you're nervous, but you'll do great."

Alice almost teared up. He really respected her as a professional. It felt so good to know that. "Thanks, Jasper. I'll do my best." She impulsively hugged him and she heard his swift intake of breath and let him go quickly. "Jasper, I also want to talk to you about more personal things."

He walked over and locked his door and returned and waited. Alice looked at him for a long time. He didn't seem to be annoyed, angry or sad or anything, his face was a blank. But she had to bring it up for her own peace of mind.

Her voice was low and contrite as she started, "Jasper, I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you last night. I'm not very good at the 'amicable break up' thing. In my break ups, I'm usually screaming and throwing things. But I did the best I could."

She looked at him and saw that his expression hadn't changed, so she went on. "Someone once told me that honesty without compassion is cruelty and I don't think I showed you much compassion last night. Quite frankly, I'm not even sure you needed compassion, but on the off chance that I hurt or offended you in any way I want to apologize."

"You didn't offend me. You were honest and that honesty was appreciated." His voice was tired but soft and sincere.

"Jasper, you're a special person to me and you always will be. I hope that you know that. I hope that we can be friends at some point. But if at any time you feel that my working here isn't a good thing, please tell me. I'll quit."

"Alice, I don't foresee a problem with us working together, and to answer your question I do think we can be friends. You make me laugh, a lot. And you're very smart and feisty. You've quickly become one of my favorite people in the world. I will miss being your lover, but I would love to call you my friend." And he came to her and gave her a big hug.

Alice hugged him back and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks Jasper."

Maybe everything would work out after all.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Seven

It was surprisingly easy to work for and have a friendship with Jasper. He was what every boss should be, supportive and understanding. And most of all he had a sense of humor. The projects were moving ahead. Alice took the lead on the Fremont project too and for all intents and purposes she took Paul Kincaid's position, however temporary. The team got along great and they became very close, particularly James and Alice.

She liked James a lot, not only because he was cute, but also because he was smart and eager to learn. He was a musician on the side, a classical guitarist, and Alice felt that his artistic temperament was what made her like him so much.

Naturally, the rumor mill started up again, more than likely stoked by Jessica; but Alice was done with office romances. Although she and James were a little attracted to each other she just wasn't interested in getting into another relationship, not now and not in the near future. The past few months with Jasper had taken a toll, leaving her feeling unsure of how she wanted to approach future relationships

#

At the end of January, on a wet Friday afternoon, Renee fell down the front stairs and broke her clavicle and her left arm. She spent one day in the hospital and came home on Sunday. Trooper that she was she refused to miss a day of work. Renee decided that she would work from home with her good right arm until she was fully healed. She had Alice drive her into work that morning so she could collect a few cases and she asked Alice to pick her up at noon and drop her back home. Alice agreed even though she had a meeting at two o'clock with Jasper and the team for a new development on the peninsula. If she left Renee's office on time she could make it back by the time the meeting began.

Pulling her beat-up blue Toyota out of the garage, she dropped her mom at her law office in downtown Oakland and sped off over the bridge to work. She arrived at nine on the dot. Alice worked hard all morning, then she called her prospective landlord for the flat by the BART; she tearfully informed him that she would not be taking the one bedroom flat, after all. Alice had to put on the waterworks so that she could get her first and last month's rent and deposit back. She sobbed as she explained that her dear old mother who was now temporarily disabled could not live on her own. He sympathized and offered his prayers, he said he understood and told her that he would send her check back to her.

Alice hung up the phone and smiled. She briefly wondered if Renee had thrown herself down the steps to thwart her moving out. Alice had not yet informed her mother that she and Jasper were kaput; she refused to give her the satisfaction, and suffer under Renee's smug 'I-told-you-so- face'. Nevertheless she was well aware that Renee suspected that things were cooling between her and Jasper.

#

Renee was nothing if not wily. Alice showed up at her mom's office at noon as she had promised, having rushed out of her office and not bothering with lunch. As she sat in the reception area waiting, her stomach rumbled and she realized she had skipped breakfast too. Renee kept her waiting for almost thirty minutes and Alice was not in a good mood. "Excuse me," she asked the receptionist "can I just go in and see what's taking her so long?"

"I'm sorry, but Mrs. Swan is not in her office, she is out to lunch."

"Are you kidding me?" Alice couldn't believe her ears. "Lunch?" and the receptionist nodded. "Tell her that her daughter was here." Alice huffed. She turned on her heels, she walked to the elevator and jabbed the down button angrily. Her day was so busy, she had missed both breakfast and lunch in order to make time to help mother, and her mother didn't seem to care at all. What was Renee playing at? Alice had told her that she had an important meeting that afternoon. Renee could not have made it any more obvious that he didn't give a fig for Alice's job. Alice was furious.

Just then the elevator opened and she was face to face with the most gorgeous man she had ever seen. Her heart stopped and then it started to thump crazily in her chest. They stared at each other and Alice smiled. _Oh, I'm going to love getting to know him. _

"Alice? Alice?" Renee called hoping to get her attention. Alice looked at her mom briefly and then looked back at the hunk.

"Hmmm?" She was trying to concentrate on what her mother was saying, but she just couldn't make her ears listen. It sounded like gibberish.

"It's wonderful to finally meet you, Alice. Your mamma has told me so much about you." The gorgeous guy was holding her right hand lightly in his. An electric current flowed from his hand to hers and her knees went weak. She looked down at their clasped hands and swooned, she actually swooned, and his other arm reached around her to keep her on her feet.

"Wow. I think that's the best handshake I've ever had." Alice sighed, goofily looking up at him.

It was only when he laughed that she realized that she had said it out loud. "Jeez, I don't know what's wrong with me. I think it's because I haven't eaten lunch, or breakfast for that matter. And I've been running around." She ran her hands through her wild hair, trying to contain the buzz in her brain. Mr. Handsome clasped one arm around her waist and held her other hand as they walked back the way she had come. As if in a trance, Alice allowed the tall, dark man to lead her past the receptionist and into her mother's office. She plopped into the chair and her mother hurriedly placed a glass of juice in her hands. The drink revived her somewhat and Renee gave her a worried look.

But Alice was oblivious to anything but Mr. Handsome. She surmised that this was the elusive Dr. Mirzal "Mike" D'Souza. Why didn't Renee ever mention that he was almost six feet tall and slim and solid, with coffee colored skin?_ Oh, I want to sip him._ He had longish, inky black hair that came down over his collar, and sexy, manly sideburns that came down to his jawline. His dark bedroom eyes were surrounded by the longest lashes she had ever seen. Overall his face was handsome, straight nose, high cheekbones, square chin, but the kicker was his lips. They were perfectly delicious looking, full lips. _Good god, he was yummy. _

"Alice." Turning to her mother Alice shook herself out of her daze and tried to compose herself; Renee was postively beaming, with a huge self-satisfied smile on her face. "Alice, thanks for coming, but Mike has kindly offered to help me, so you can go back to work." Alice should have been furious but how could she be when Mike was so sexy? Nevertheless, she was more than a little annoyed at her mother's cavalier attitude and voiced it out loud.

"Go back to work? I just came all the way across the bridge for you, mom. And I told you that I have a … " Alice stopped mid-rant, realizing that she was not going to make a good impression on the handsome Doctor Mike if she acted like a shrew and yelled at her mother in front of him, so she softened her tone and lowered her voice. "I'm here already mom, I came to help you. Why should we impose on Mike and have him do all that hard work." Alice was trying to recoup and get back to flirting.

"Don't worry about it, I don't mind at all, it'll be a pleasure to help your mamma in any way that I can." Mike said. When he smiled at her mom, a small dimple appeared in his cheek. _Was he perfect or what?_

The way he spoke was so soft and southern that it tickled Alice no end. Dr. Mike D'Souza was so unexpected , his Louisiana accent sounded so Rhett Butler _ish_, Alice almost laughed. But his voice was so deep, sexy and stirring that she couldn't laugh, she just imagined him whispering sweet nothings in her ear.

Alice dropped her voice to a seductive purr, "Mike, you're a busy doctor, I hear. You're always on call. Don't you have more important things to do than help 'lil ole us with a little bit of moving?"

"Not at all. I'm never too busy to help out a lady in need. Ms Renee has been very gracious, feeding me her wonderful Louisiana cooking. I like having the opportunity to repay her kindness." Oh, that soft southern accent, she could listen to it all day; especially if it was coming out of those soft full lips.

"Well, I guess that's settled then. Since you don't need me, I'll be getting back to work." As she spoke she stood up and smoothed her hands over the snug dark green wool skirt, running them slowly over her hips. Mike's eyes followed the movements of her hands. Oh yes, she was well aware that she looked good, she had paired the skirt with a silky sage green blouse that showed just a hint of cleavage, and deepened the green of her eyes.

"Oh but we do need you. Unless you _have to _get back to work." he said hurriedly. "You can show me where to put your mamma's boxes and get her set up at home."

Alice made a mental note to call Jessica and tell her to inform Jasper that her mom needed her desperately and that she'd be a little late to the afternoon meeting. "I don't have to go back to work for another couple of hours."

Rising from his seat he stood up mere inches from her, she could feel his warmth. "Okay, that's settled."

Alice was agog, he was so near he must have heard the thumping of her heart_. My, oh my, how am I supposed to stop myself from jumping on him?_ Her brain conjured up a vivid image of him, naked and a tremor moved through her from head to toe. He smiled, and she felt sure that he knew her thoughts.

At Renee's behest the receptionist brought the cart and they piled the huge cases, some books and Renee's work laptop and printer on it. After everything was on they traveled down the elevator together. Once in the lobby Renee had to run back upstairs, she had forgotten her purse. Mike and Alice waited by the doors and talked. He had a smile that made her heart turn, white teeth, dimples and soft lips; his black-brown eyes were liquid and warm.

Alice brought her face inches from his, looked at his lips and smiled seductively. "So Mike, how do you come to have that beautiful southern accent?"

"My gramps was a doctor and my grams was a nurse. They did charity work and were sent to Pakistan to start a free clinic near an orphanage. My mamma and her twin sister are Pashtun, they were brought to the Catholic run orphanage, near Peshawar fifty years ago. According to my gram, they immediately fell in love with the twins, they couldn't leave them behind when it was time to return to America. My gramps and gram adopted them.

At the time they were adopted they were less than three years old, so my mother says she has no memories of her life in Pakistan. They brought them to Louisiana, where my gramps started his practice. My mamma grew up as the daughter of the only doctor in town, so naturally she followed in her father's footsteps. My auntie went to law school and is a partner here with your mamma."

"And your father? Where is he from?"

"Oh my mamma and papa met at Tufts. His family is from Goa, India, but he was born in New York," he smiled. "Even after thirty years in Louisiana, he still has his Brooklyn accent."

Renee returned and they decided that they would all pile in Mike's Mercedes since Alice's Toyota was much too small and way too cluttered. Renee insisted that Alice ride in the front and Alice was not going to argue. As they drove to the house Alice watched his strong hands on the wheel and imagined them on her body.

She looked at his body, he was slim and hard. She could see his muscular thighs as he moved them on and off the brakes. How would it feel to have those thighs rubbing against hers? A little moan escaped and she quickly looked up to catch him looking at her, smiling, knowing. Alice smiled back at him, she was not the least bit embarrassed.

They set up Renee's workstation in a corner of her bedroom suite upstairs. Alice wanted to make space in Bella's bedroom, since she was seldom there, but Renee insisted. "You were gone for five years and I never changed your room, because I always wanted you to know you have a home here to return to. I'm not going to change anything in Bella's room. That'll be her room forever." Renee was pushy, strong and sometimes hard, but there was no doubt about it she loved her girls.

Alice made some chai tea and set out some almond cookies on a plate. She and Mike sat at the kitchen table and talked some more, while her mother puttered around, getting settled.

She learned a lot about Mike in that short session, he was an open book. He talked freely about himself and his family back in Louisiana. All too soon Mike announced that it was time for him to take Alice back to get her car. Alice had almost forgotten. She called for her mother, who came down the stairs with an outstretched right arm. She startled Alice when she gave Mike a hug with her one good arm. Renee Swan was not a frequent hugger.

"Thanks Mike. You were such a lifesaver. I'm sure Alice and I would never have been able to manage without you."

Mike winked at Alice over Renee's head, "The pleasure was all mine, Miss Renee. Call me anytime you need me. And don't forget to rest and let those bones heal." Then he headed for the front door, Renee and Alice following.

Mike ran down the stairs to the car in the driveway and Alice stayed behind for a few seconds and whispered hurriedly to her mother, "Make a dinner party or something so we can invite him over." Then she skipped down the stairs behind him.

As they drove the fifteen minutes back to Oakland, Alice talked about herself. She hoped that he was interested, but really couldn't tell. She directed him to where she had parked and thanked him again for all his help.

"I'm just glad your mamma called me instead of someone else. I finally got to meet the beautiful daughter she's been raving about. I must say that you really are beautiful."

"Well, thank you. You're not so bad yourself." Alice replied. She could kick herself why couldn't she come up with a better line than that?

He laughed anyway, as though it were scintillating repartee. "Well thank you for the compliment." He got out of the car and opened the door for her. He walked her to her car and there they stopped silently. He was looking down at her from his six foot height, he was smiling in a way she had never seen anyone smile before.

He reached for Alice's hand, the electric current was still there. "It was a pleasure Alice, I do hope we'll see each other again."

"I hope so too." she said huskily. She held on to his hand longer than she needed to. Alice felt like tugging him to her and giving him a kiss, but something about the way he was looking at her made her stop. She got in her car and started it and waved. His car was blocking her so he drove off first, she stared after his car until it disappeared around the corner.

#

That evening after work, Alice ran up the stairs and slammed into the house. "Mom, mom." Renee came out of the kitchen smiling.

"I don't need to ask you what you think about Mike." She saw the excitement on her daughter's face.

"Is he seeing someone?" Alice asked, eager for more information.

"Not as far as I know." Renee was excited too.

"How is that possible?" Alice wondered how such a catch could be available. There must be tons of women after him.

"I think he's pretty selective."

"You know, normally I would come on to a guy and ask their number or even ask them to ask me out, but somehow I couldn't do that with him. He was smiling and sweet, but I think he was a little reserved in that area. I can't quite put my finger on it." Alice was thinking these thoughts to herself, only half meaning to speak them aloud to her mother.

"He's a true southern gentleman, Alice. That's the difference." Renee informed her daughter. She seemed as excited as Alice about the young doctor. "He won't disrespect you."

Alice turned her back on her mother and rolled her eyes. Her mother was so old-fashioned. "Well, whatever he is, it's fine by me. He is gorgeous."

"I'm glad you think so, Alice. But he's more than just good-looking, he is really a very nice man." Renee chided her daugher.

Alice was in a world of her own, thinking about Mike and what may have been a missed opportunity. "I so wanted to ask him to ask me out, but he was so soft and gentle I just couldn't be bold." She kvetched.

"Don't worry he'll call and he'll call soon."

"Oh, I hope so." If not, she made up her mind that she would just have to call him. She would give it a day or two, maximum.

He did call soon, at seven-thirty that night. He called and Renee answered the phone. He asked after her health. Then he asked her if Alice was available. She told him that Alice had just run out to the store but that she would be home by eight.

Alice walked in the door with the bag of groceries at seven –forty-five and Renee told her that Mike had called and would be calling back. Alice felt butterflies in her stomach. What was wrong with her? She was giddy and nervous.

Mike called and when Alice heard his voice over the phone she had to sit down.

"How are you Alice?" His voice was warm, sexy, it did things to her heart.

"Fine Mike, how are you?" She answered breathlessly, hoping he would think that she had just run up the stairs. She was a little alarmed at the effect his voice was having on her.

"I'm well. Alice, I would like to see you again."

"I'd like to see you again too."

"Are you busy this Wednesday night?"

"No, I have nothing planned. Wednesday night is fine."

"What if we go out to dinner?"

"That sounds lovely."

"Great, do you like Italian?"

"Love it."

"I'll be at your house at seven, then."

"Seven. I'm looking forward to it. Bye, Mike."

"Bye."

Alice hung up the phone and wished she had insisted on seeing him tomorrow.

#

The two days dragged and Wednesday night she dithered over what to wear and opted for a simple black knit dress, her knee high stiletto boots, chunky wood carving necklace and an African print shawl for warmth.

He was on time and she was ready. He came inside and spoke to Renee for a few minutes. They had dinner at a cozy Italian restaurant. She learned that next to Southern food, Italian was his favorite. The first time he had tasted Indian food he was in college and was introduced to it by a date. She also learned that he had a brother who is a teacher and a sister who is a librarian and they were both still living back in Louisiana.

He graduated from high school when he was sixteen and got his undergrad degree when he was nineteen. He loved to play basketball and he hadn't owned a television for nine years. He was doing his residency as a pediatric surgeon at Children's Hospital and he was twenty-eight years old.

He loved Elvis, he'd been to Graceland, twice. His all time favorite band was the Rolling Stones and his favorite song was 'Imagine'.

Alice laughed and said, "I thought you were going to pick an Elvis song, like "Hunk o' Burning Love."

"Do _you_ think I'm a hunk o' burning love?" He teased her with a glint in his eye.

"Only you can answer that." She said with pretend coyness. And he laughed.

"Why?" she prodded.

"Why what?"

'Why is 'Imagine' your favorite song?"

"It's so simple, so hopeful, so classic; just John and the piano. But I guess what I like most is that the message is dear to my heart, because it expresses a desire for us to put differences aside and try for world peace."

Alice disagreed. "I think it's a very sad song, I cry whenever I hear it. When I listen to it I realize that peace and brotherhood is an impossible goal. As human beings we are too greedy, too flawed to accomplish his vision."

"True. But as Browning said, 'A man's reach must exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for?' We have to dream bigger than we are, Allice. That's the only way to make things happen."

"You're an optimist aren't you?" She accused laughingly.

"No. I'm a humanist. My dream is to take my ability to heal to impoverished countries and give those disabled children the opportunity to live a better life; they should not suffer just because of the circumstances they were born into. Like Lennon, I want to think beyond the border of countries and religion and circumstance."

"You're too perfect." Then she gasped and looked above his head.

"What?" he asked puzzled, turning around and back again.

"Did you see that light? Could it be? Uh oh, is that a halo around your head?" She teased him and lightened it with laughter.

He laughed, long and hard. When he finally recovered he smiled at her. "I'm not the angel here, you are."

"You're sweet." Alice smiled and then became serious. She decided to be forthright. "Mike, are you seeing anyone special?"

He stopped eating and leaned over the table to take her hand in his. "Alice, I'm not seeing anyone, special or otherwise. I wouldn't be here with you if I was."

Her heart thudded at his nearness, the smell of his skin. She badly wanted him to kiss her. "How come? You're very handsome, smart and successful. Why aren't you attached to some lucky girl?"

"Thank you again for the compliment, you're generous with them. I like that." His smile made her knees go weak. "I just haven't met that special person that I want to be attached to."

She wrinkled her nose. "You know what? People date and have relationships all the time, even if it's not with 'that special person'. I'm a little suspicious of your answer." She teased, but underneath, she wanted an answer.

"Well I guess you're right. That wasn't a good enough answer. The truth is simple. I go on dates, I like the company of women. I've had a few relationships. In med school I had a girlfriend for three years whom I introduced to my parents. I was serious and she wasn't. So we broke up. I dated another girlfriend for a couple of years but we drifted apart. Since I moved to Oakland last year, I have dated a few women, but no one that I felt I wanted more dates with. Which is a good thing. Because if I had, I wouldn't be sitting here now with you. Does that answer your question?"

"Yes. It does." she smiled at him, liking his honesty.

"And you? Why aren't you attached to some lucky guy."

"I was for a little bit. He just doesn't deserve me." and then she burst out laughing, thinking how conceited she sounded.

"What does it take to deserve you?" He asked sincerely, as though he really wanted to know.

"Lots. Sexual attraction, I gotta feel that. Then humor, I laugh a lot and I want that person to laugh with me. Then goodness, I want that man to be someone who is good to me and to other people. Caring, I want that person to care about my feelings and not want to hurt me. Honor. I want that person to honor me and shout to the world that they do. And most importantly-drum roll please- Desire. Not the desire for my body or my sex but a desire to want all of me, the good and the bad of me."

"You've obviously given this a lot of thought."

"Don't I know it! Probably too much thought, but, that's why I'm not attached. No one has been able to give me all of it. And I'm no longer willing to settle for anything less."

"You're demanding."

She nodded. "But I'm worth it." She said confidently.

"I know you're worth it." He smiled at her admiringly.

"How do you know?" Alice was practically batting her eyelashes. She was angling for him to tell her how wonderful she was. But his answer was not aimed at her specifically.

"Because every woman is worth being regarded the way you described. It's how my father treats my mother. And how, I hope, someday someone will care for my sister."

Alice swallowed a lump in her throat, she was floored by this guy. He was genuinely sweet and loved and respected women, could he be more perfect? She cleared her mind of daydreams and laughed ruefully, "This is a pretty serious first date conversation, isn't it?"

"Yes. But it makes me know you better and I'm happy you were honest about your requirements." There was a long silence as they gazed at each other over the flickering candle.

"Do you want desert?" he finally asked her.

Alice shook her head. She wanted to be alone with him.

"Well if you're done, I'll take you home."

They got up and he helped her into her coat and held her hand as they walked out of the restaurant. The tingle was now a buzz.

The drive up to the little Victorian in the hills took no time at all. He opened the car door for her and when she got out she leaned against the door of the car. She wasn't quite ready to say goodnight.

Alice held both his hands in hers and asked him softly. "Why did you want to see me again?"

He leaned down and brought his face inches from hers, he sighed his answer into the night air. "Because you're beautiful and I'm very attracted to you and I want to get to know you. I hope that we'll go on another date soon."

"Are you asking me now?" She smiled up at him. Liking the way his hair moved in the slight breeze, bringing one lock down onto his forehead. His smile was all for her, he looked as giddy as she felt, she knew this was special, she just knew it.

He squeezed her fingers ever so slightly, as though speaking to her with his body and his words. "Yes, I am."

She squeezed his fingers in response. "When?" She asked, knowing full well she would meet him whenever and wherever he wanted.

"I'm not working this Saturday, so can I see you in the afternoon?" he asked.

"That depends, what do you have in mind?" His answer didn't matter, but she wanted to keep him there with her as long as possible. The back and forth was tittilating.

He threaded their fingers together and rubbed his thumbs along hers. They were touching hands only and her heart thumped crazily. His soft voice wooed her. "I'd like to take your for a walk around Lake Merritt, and then lunch at my apartment. I'll make gumbo. It's the best gumbo in the world, second only to my mamma's."

"Ah do love me some gumbo." She said in a fake southern accent, her eyes twinkling.

"Well, say 'yes', and you can have some." He laughed.

"Yes." And she released his hand and tugged on the front of his shirt to bring his head down to hers. His breath was warm and sweet as it skimmed her cheek. He brushed her lips with his and kissed the corner of her mouth. He moved his lips to the next corner and her mouth opened. His tongue slid over hers and she felt the goosebumps all up and down her arms. Her tongue licked his and it was magic. He pulled his mouth away and smiled down at her. Alice wanted more. She ached for more of his kisses.

Mike reached his arms around her waist and picked her up off her feet. He whirled her around slowly and put her back down and whispered in her ear, "Thank you." Then he walked her up the stairs and said goodnight.

Alice walked into the house elated. Renee was waiting on the couch for details and Alice sailed past her to her bedroom as if in a trance.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Eight

Saturday was wet and drizzly and Alice was stumped for something to wear. Time and time again her hand reached for the Avengers jumpsuit, but she rejected it. Instead she settled for a pair of tight black jeans and a black turtleneck. She wore funky ankle boots and a black trench and that was the outfit.

Renee, still struggling with only the use of one arm, co-opted Alice's hands and made a home-made peach cobbler for Mike. It was a thank you for his help on moving day. Mike's place was within steps of Lake Merritt and rather than have him come all the way to pick her up, she drove to his apartment.

It was luxurious. She walked through the glass enclosed lobby and over to the front desk. The building was fairly new and apparently designed as a hotel originally, or so Alice guessed. The lobby was huge, with many little seating areas. Palms and ficus trees were everywhere. Even on this wet rainy day the lobby was well lit by natural light coming through the glass walls.

Two employees sat at the long desk and Alice told them she was here to see Mike D'Souza. One of the women, a pretty little blonde with green eyes and lush lips, did a double take and looked Alice up and down. She dialed his apartment and practically gushed when she told him he had a visitor. _Someone is flustered_, Alice smiled to herself. The woman hung up and spoke to Alice in a clipped voice, "Dr. D'Souza will be down shortly, Miss. Would you care to sit and wait?"

Alice shook her head and in less than twenty seconds there he was, walking from the elevators towards her. If she didn't have the cobbler in her hands, she would have flung her arms around his neck and kissed him, he looked _that_ sexy. His hair was wet from the shower and he had on black jeans and a dark pullover just like she did.

"Hi, Mike." Her voice was breathy. She was just as flustered as the smitten receptionist.

He looked down at the covered casserole dish she was holding in both hands. "What do you have there?"

"It's a gift for you, from my mom. She said you like peach cobbler so she made it as a thank you for helping."

"Oh she shouldn't have, but I'm glad she did. Let's take it upstairs and then we can go for our walk."

He took the still-warm cobbler from her and Alice glanced at the blonde. Her eyes were dreamily staring up at Mike. _Sorry, babe, he's taken_, Alice thought to herself before she was pulled back to reality. "Alice, why don't you walk ahead so you can press the button?" They got in the elevator, honey-colored wood paneling gleamed. It silently whizzed them up to the ninth floor.

He led her to the door of his apartment and asked her to retrieve his keys out of his jacket pocket. She silently wished he had put his keys in his jeans; that would have been much more fun.

When they got inside he took the cobbler to the kitchen and she called after him, "Something smells wonderful is that your world famous gumbo?"

"Yes it is. I was up late last night making it, so it can sit and the flavors can marry. I planned that we would eat after our walk, but we can eat it now if you're hungry." He offered.

"I can wait 'til later. Why don't you show me around your place?" It was a two bedroom apartment with floor to ceiling windows in every room. The floor was dark teak hardwood and the walls were painted a light dove grey. The living room was tastefully furnished in a mid-century style, with the low couch and oversized armchairs covered in a grey tweed. His bedroom was furnished with a dark wood bed and matching side tables and a dresser.

Alice lingered purposefully by the windows, taking in the view of Bay Bridge and the distant San Francisco skyline. "If you had a telescope I bet you could see my office from here. I have a wonderful view from the other side of the bridge."

"Well I guess I'll be buying a telescope soon." He came to stand behind her. "Show me where I should be looking." Pointing in the general direction of her office building she smiled and joked, "I'll buy one too and we can peep each other." She turned and looked up at him. The feeling of desire was almost overwhelming. Alice could swear she was noticeably trembling. She leaned into him and rested her cheek on his chest. His heart was racing too. She waited for him to kiss her but he reached for her hand and led her out of the bedroom and back through the living room into the kitchen.

"I can't wait for the cobbler. Do you want to try a piece with me?"

"Just a tiny, little bit." she said. She was puzzled by him. If she had her way they would have been rolling around in his big bed right now, doing some serious making out, but apparently he had no interest in seducing her.

They stood at the kitchen counter and he served himself a generous dollop of cobbler and gave her a little smaller portion.

As he ate he complimented her 'mamma's divine peach cobbler' and Alice was becoming frustrated and annoyed. '_Is he a monk? A virgin? Or just not too interested in sex?'_ she wondered to herself. Alice decided to be true to herself and direct with him, so she laid it on the line.

She maneuvred herself between Mike and the counter, slid her arms around his middle and said, "Mike, can you kiss me, please? Not like last Wednesday night, but a long, deep kiss. I really want you to kiss me. Now."

Mike put down his spoon and licked cobbler off his lips slowly; he looked down at her as if weighing what his next step would be. Finally, he reached up and cupped her face in his hands and bent his head to hers. He hesitated for a fraction of a second and then he put his lips on hers, she opened her lips hungrily and he moaned as his tongue moved into hers. She licked her tongue around every corner of his mouth and when she was done she started all over again. His breath was peachy sweetness itself. With his lips still moving on hers he picked her up in his arms and carried her to the couch. She held on tightly to his shoulders and when he lay her down she opened her thighs for him to lie between them.

Her hands roamed over his shoulders and down his back. Then back up to his hair and she held him fast, not wanting to let him go. He pulled his mouth from hers to bury it in her neck, and she gasped out, "Oh Mike, I've been waiting so long for you to kiss me like this."

His mouth returned to hers and his tongue darted in and out, as though he was making quick love to her. His hand reached under her shirt and he slid it under her bra to massage her breast. She felt his arousal, through his jeans and through hers. Mike's hands reached under her and squeezed her butt and pulled her hips up towards him as he ground his hips in hers. Alice moaned, into his mouth. _Forget making out, let's cut to the chase_. She wanted him so much, her limbs were heavy with need. Just as she was about to start pulling off his shirt, he pulled away and sat up.

"Alice, this is too soon." He was breathing heavily.

"What do you mean, too soon?" _Did he mean too soon in the day?_ _Didn't he know love in the afternoon was fantastic?_

"I don't want us to get confused by sex, so let's not do this. Not right now." He leaned his head back, trying to relax, and tame his erection.

"Confused by sex? Is there such a thing?" Alice was confused by what he was saying, not by sex. She could barely make sense of it.

He looked down at her, where she was still lying on the couch, her clothes pulled askew and her hair in wild disarray. "Yes, there is. I want more than just sex with you, Alice." His smile was rueful, his voice hopeful.

"Huh?" Feeling like a loose woman, she sat up next to him and adjusted her clothes, patting her hair into some order.

"Just looking at you and being with you makes me feel so good, that I know making love with you would be heaven. But that won't satisfy me."

She boldly moved to sit on his lap and snaked her arms around his neck. She cooed into his ear, "If there's one thing I can promise you Mike, it's that you'll be very satisfied."

"Alice, I want you very much, but I want more." He reached up with one hand and caressed her curls and then moved to run his thumb across her lips. Alice drew his thumb into her mouth and sucked on it, thrilling at the sound of his low moan. Then, inexplicably, he pulled his thumb from her mouth and held her hand still.

"What more do you want?" she asked curiously. She stared at him and his eyes moved over her face as he hesitated. Finally, he cupped her cheek in his palm and looked deeply into her eyes.

"Alice, I want the big prize." he smiled as he looked from her lips to her eyes.

"What's the big prize?"

"You, all of you, your heart, your love."

#

Alice was flabbergasted. She was still sitting on his lap with his arms around her waist. She cupped his jaw and brought his face around to look at him fully, "I didn't ask you before, but are you religious?"

"Not particularly." He smiled, looking in her eyes.

"When you...umm...practice, what religion do you practice?"

"Well, I was raised Catholic, like you. Why?"

She didn't answer his question, instead she asked in a low voice, "Are you celibate?"

He laughed at that one. "Not purposefully, no."

"If you don't mind my asking, when was the last time you had sex?"

"Quite a while ago. I don't have casual sex. Why all these questions?"

Didn't he realize that she just couldn't understand why he would say no to this sizzling attraction they had for each other? "I'm trying to figure out if you have some kind of sexual hang up."

"Because I said it was too soon for us?"

"Yes. Either you've got some hang up or you don't feel what I feel. Or maybe you just don't enjoy sex all that much." She said accusingly.

Mike got up off the couch and pulled her up to standing. Holding both of her hands in his, he said earnestly, "Alice, I enjoy sex, and I'm eager to enjoy sex with you, but I want it to be right. You're a special woman, I know I want a relationship with you, not just sex. I want to know you and what makes you, you. And I'm afraid that if we were to start with sex, instead of starting with the relationship part first, we may miss out on something infinitely better."

In the back of her mind, she realized he was being mature, sane, logical, respectful. But she didn't want that, she wanted him wild, passionate, and out of his mind with lust. Instead, there he stood saying no to her, a big fat no. And she knew, try as she might, she wasn't going to change his mind. She pulled her hands out of his. "So no sex? Until when? Until you say so?" Alice was angry and frustrated, her eyes were flashing and she had a mind to hit him.

He grabbed her hands and kissed them. "No, that is not what I'm saying at all. We'll both know when the time is right."

She pulled her hands away again, and went to pick up her jacket and her handbag; she wanted to run, she felt easy, rejected, ashamed. The way he was looking at her made her feel like a sulky child, but she didn't care. "I think that time is right now, but obviously you disagree. I think, I'd better go."

"Please, don't leave." He walked over to her and took her bag and coat and dropped them back onto the chair. He hugged her, tucking his face into her neck and took a deep breath. He whispered against her skin, "You smell so luscious. I want you very much Alice, more than I've ever wanted anyone, don't doubt that for a minute." He held her tightly until the tension in her body eased and she relaxed in his arms.

He whispered again into her ear. "Please, let's give ourselves a chance. Let's wait a little, please?"

If he wasn't as appealing as he was, she would have walked out the door right then. Instead, she turned her head into his neck and kissed him softly. "Okay." she said grudgingly, she could see no other way around it anyway.

He moved his mouth along the line of her jaw and their lips met briefly. "Let's go for our walk." He reached for her hand and pulled her to the door.

They went for the walk around the lake. The drizzle had stopped but it was foggy, they couldn't see anyone else around, it felt as though they were cocooned in a world of their own. Mike asked about her childhood and she found herself giving him a short autobiography of herself. For the first time in years she talked briefly about her father who died when she was six. She talked about dance classes and camping and puberty and boyfriends and college in New York. Mike seemed to want to know it all.

She questioned him about his childhood and she laughed when he talked about his childhood obsession with Elvis that continued to this day. He said he used to think Elvis was Indian like him. He was so into it, that his family had made a summer vacation trip to Memphis to see Graceland.

"So that's why you have those sideburns and talk all southern, I bet you could lose the accent if you wanted to." She accused him. "You went to college in Boston, you haven't lived in Louisiana for years, but you still hang on to it don't you?"

"Well ma'am the accent has come in handy on quite a few occasions. And the sideburns are sexy, don't you think?"

"Very." She reached up and touched his sideburns. "Don't change a thing."

He bent down and kissed her for a long time, winding his fingers in her curls. When they finally separated, Alice was trembling, she hid her face in his shirt. He rubbed her back and then reached for her hand again. They resumed their walk and he talked about his gram who is still alive and his gramps who passed away when he was ten. As they walked they laced their fingers together and she felt that electric tingle still.

#

The following week Mike called and talked to her every single day. They talked about everything under the sun. And they went on two dates, on Wednesday night they went to the movies and on Saturday they spent all day at the zoo. Mike was fond of the zoo's sky ride and Alice was a little afraid of heights. When they sailed over the lion's den, several lions were prowling below; he mentioned that the gears of the ride sounded strained and had her half-laughing and half-afraid of a breakdown. They rode it back again as she held onto him giggling with delight. Then they walked around the zoo, twice. When he finally took her home she was exhausted. He came in to say hello to her mother and Renee informed him that she would be having a little get together on Valentine's Day and wondered if he would be able to come.

"I'd love to, but I'm on call that night." He informed her regretfully.

"Oh, what a shame, you won't get to enjoy Alice's birthday celebration. I'm going to make paradise cake, but I'll save you some. Goodnight you two." She called as she went up to bed. "Alice, don't forget to lock up."

Mike and Alice went to sit on the couch in the living room. He put his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"I didn't know that your birthday is on Valentine's Day. Why didn't you say something?"

"I guess it never came up." She reached down and laced her fingers through his. His hands were strong and large. She thought of all the operations he'd done, to save lives. Her heart just swelled with admiration for him and the work he did.

"Well I think that I might just have to switch with someone and make it to that birthday bash." He mused.

"Please don't bother." Alice was uncharacteristically disconcerted. "It's just a small birthday celebration. I'm sure it'll be just mom and me."

He turned her face to his to look into her eyes. "Alice, I want to come and celebrate your birthday with you. I really do. Why don't you want me to come over?" His brows knitted, puzzled over her reluctance.

"I'm just not good with birthdays, my birthdays, I mean. I don't really enjoy them." She wrinkled her nose and shrugged lightly.

"Why not?"

"I find them depressing. I'm usually grumpy on my birthday, mom will tell you. I always wind up crying at some point on my birthday. But she does insist on the birthday cake. I guess it's her day too." Alice smiled sadly. Her mom always made a big deal of her daughters' birthdays. She always made their favorite cake, never store bought. After the break up with her professor, Alice couldn't come home for her birthday, so her mom flew to New York and celebrated with her. Renee was a curious blend of a tough, demanding mother and doting, traditional mom. Even with all her criticisms, Alice never doubted, not for one moment, that her mother loved her completely.

"There must be a reason for you to feel this way." Mike pushed and she knew he wouldn't let up. Over the last three weeks, Alice had come to realize that he wanted to know everything about her, and he had no qualms about asking and probing.

In a low whisper Alice told him her story. "My dad died just a couple days before my sixth birthday. He was coming home early to take me shopping for my birthday gift, a pink bicycle that I'd wanted for so long. Mom said I could wait on the porch for him as long as I promised to stay there. I saw him round the corner and I was so excited." She paused, a thick sharp pain rose in her throat preventing her from continuing. She cleared her throat and swallowed painfully, trying to continue the tragic narrative.

Finally her voice came out in a choked rasp. "Then I don't know what happened, all of a sudden, his motorcycle just started wobbling and he skidded and then the bike flew out from under him. Then his body just flew and he crashed into the windshield of a parked car. And then he was so still, I knew something was wrong: I started screaming, "Daddy, Daddy!" and my mom heard me and she came running."

By now the tears were streaming down Alice's cheeks, and she was staring at her hands, but seeing only the past. Mike was holding her so tightly that she could feel the buttons of his shirt imprinting onto her cheek. She pulled away a little and tucked herself into his neck, breathing in his smell to ground her in the present.

"Then the screams and the cries, and the ambulance and the police, and the coroner came and took him away; like he was nothing." A sob escaped her throat. "And he was everything to us, to me." Mike's hand stroked over her hair and all the way down to her back, over and over again, so soothingly.

"Oh my little sweetheart, Alice. God I'm so sorry." He held her in his arms, rocking her back and forth, until she stopped crying and could continue.

"And then the morning of my birthday I woke up all excited, forgetting for just a few seconds that he was gone, and then I remembered. And that's when I realized he wouldn't be there to sing "Happy Birthday" for me, never, ever again. I wanted him to come back so badly. I wished I'd never asked him for a birthday gift. I wish I never had a birthday, I think I even wished that I'd never been born."

She steeled herself to say this part, it was the hardest. "I went to mom's bedroom to crawl in the bed and cuddle with her and I stopped outside her door. I could hear her crying her eyes out. She was moaning, "I need you here, Charlie, I need you." over and over again. I knew then what a broken heart sounded like. I went back to my bed and cried into my pillow."

Alice looked up and saw Mike's kind eyes, full with tears for her. "Oh my love. My poor, poor baby. Oh sweetie, what a sad memory." He pulled her onto his lap and continued to rock and console her, as though she was no more than a child. Alice realized he was the only other person who knew, about her birthday morning, she had never told anyone, not even her mother.

"I just don't like to think of it as my birthday. It's kind of his day, you know? I don't think it's so bad to have one day of sadness." She sniffled. "It's a sadness I kind of enjoy. It's the day when his memory is freshest." She whispered against Mike's shirt.

"I understand perfectly. My gramps was an avid fisherman. He would take me fishing every year, on the first day of summer. Now every year when that first warm summer day comes, I think of him and me in that fishing boat, and it's the day when I miss him most terribly."

She looked up at him and stroked his cheek.

He kissed her lips tenderly and he picked up her hand and kissed it too. "Alice, you are the sweetest, sweetest girl. You're so strong and confident, yet sometimes so vulnerable and unsure. I like knowing both sides of you, don't ever hide it from me." He said. He held her tight and cuddled her, while she regaled him with more of her happier memories of Charlie Swan. Late in the night he stood up and tugged her towards the front door. "I'll take that day off, and take you to lunch, how does that sound?"

"It sounds wonderful." And she reached her arms around his neck and turned her lips up for his kiss.

#

Valentine's morning Alice was hard at work in her office when Jessica knocked on her door. Alice got up from her desk, straightening her floral print red and white pencil skirt, and her red silk blouse. Her patent red stilleto pumps clicked as she walked to the door of her office.

"Alice you have a floral delivery." Jessica said, with a messenger right behind her. She stepped aside and the messenger came in with a dozen orange roses. Alice read the card and it said 'for passion' it was from Mike. She sniffed them and they smelled divine. The messenger walked to reception and quickly returned with a dozen yellow roses and the card said 'for friendship'. Then he came in again with a bouquet of shell pink roses and the card said 'for honor'. Alice was flabbergasted. She sat there staring at the roses, feeling loved and cared for.

A few minutes later another delivery guy came with a dozen calla lilies, the card said 'Happy Birthday' it was from Bella. Renee sent her some fragrant stargazers.

Alice called and thanked Bella, and then she called her mom. She left a voicemail for Mike that she got the roses and that she was thinking of him. She was beyond happy. She looked forward to her birthday celebration for the first time since she was six years old.

At noon Jasper knocked on her door and poked his head in. "You must have a lot of Valentines."

She beamed at him, "Nope, just one very special Valentine." Her eyes were shining as she thought about Mike.

He raised an eyebrow at her and came further into her office with his hand behind his back.

"What are you up to?" She asked him, noting his secretive smile.

He brought his hand from behind his back and gave her a dozen red tulips. And he said, "Happy Birthday, Alice."

"Thank you, Jasper. How did you know?"

"Personnel. I reviewed your resume, remember? Alice Valentina Swan born on Valentine's Day." he came to sit on the edge of her desk, his knee touching hers. "I always felt that was the reason you're such a wonderful lover." He deliberately rubbed his knee against hers. "You were born for love, weren't you?"

"Possibly." She twirled her chair a little to move her knees away from his. "Jasper, I'm seeing someone. Someone I like very, very much."

"Obviously." he waved his hand at the flowers. "He wouldn't object if I were to take you to a friendly lunch, would he?"

"I don't know if he would, but I can't. Thank you for the invitation, anyway." She smiled up at him.

"Well, this will be a disappointment to your team. I've invited all of you out to lunch in honor of your birthday _and_ the successful proposal. Thanks to you, we had the winning design for that project in Burlingame." He bent down and smiled at her. "We got it, baby!"

She leapt out of her chair and hugged him excitedly, then quickly let him go. "Oh, that's wonderful news, Jasper. I can't believe it. We won?" He nodded. "Out of all the design firms we won!" She jumped up and down, excited because this project was by far the biggest and the most creative she had ever worked on.

She smiled widely but regretfully. "But I'm sorry Jasper. I still can't go out to celebrate. Mike is taking me to lunch."

"Why not have him join us?" Jasper suggested with just a hint of impatience.

Alice was busily putting his red tulips in the vase with Bella's calla lilies. "Because he's arranged a romantic birthday lunch for two, that's why. You can reschedule the celebration lunch for another day, can't you?" Alice was smiling radiantly at the thought of seeing Mike. She always anticipated their dates with something close to giddiness. She had never been this way, not even as a teen with her first boyfriend. She had always been confident. But now she was vulnerable and it was a weird, weak, delicious feeling.

"I guess that I can postpone the lunch for later this week." Jasper said slowly. He had noticed that secret smile and it made his stomach turn and his heart take a dive. Whoever this guy was, it was obvious that she was quite taken with him. His blood heated as he realized that he didn't like it one little bit. "So will I get to meet the guy who replaced me in your bed?"

Alice winced, she felt wounded. She turned her pale face to his. "That wasn't nice, Jasper." Her voice came out in a hoarse whisper. She felt that Jasper had dealt her a low blow.

His right hand gripped her chin and he bent down to bring his face close to hers. "That's just too bad, Alice. I don't feel like being nice." He ran his other hand through her curls and then tugged on it lightly bringing her face close to his. "Tell me, is he as good a lover as I am? Does he make you moan and beg for more? Can he make you scream? Hmm? Or does he just talk the sweet talk? Promising you love and the shit you want to hear?"

Alice's heart fell to her stomach. She felt the thud of her pulse in her throat, but she realized that what she felt was deep disappointment rather than anger. She looked up into Jasper's eyes and quietly said, "Please stop this. I've worked really hard on my projects and I would hate to have to quit."

Instantly, he dropped his hands to his side and his blue eyes looked sadly into hers. "You're right, Alice. I'm sorry." Jasper drew a deep breath. "I guess I wasn't prepared to feel quite this jealous." Abruptly he turned away and walked out of her office.

#

When Jasper got to his office he locked the door and went to stare out of the window. How did he manage to screw it up this time? He wondered to himself. He had a smart, gorgeous, funny woman who loved sex as much as he did. He couldn't look at her without wanting her and he knew she had felt the same way. Not only that, they shared the same interests and sense of humor.

Up until Christmas he thought the relationship was perfect, but with head spinning speed she dumped him because he wasn't willing to talk about love. For god's sakes what kind of grown man is? What kind of spineless assholes had she dated before? The kind who declared undying love just to have sex with her? He wasn't that kind of guy. No way. He meant what he'd told her. Love? He didn't do love, he didn't even know what that meant. He'd never in his life felt that emotion. Women romanticized relationships, he didn't. He liked a woman's company, he loved the sex, but the emotional neediness, he could do without.

But that's what she'd wanted, Jasper reflected. This new guy was probably more of the same. Some asshole like the married professor, or the cheating actor, who would screw her and say all the things she wanted to hear and not mean it. Some jerk who would say he loved her just to keep the relationship going. Why was Alice so stupid, so gullible, so needy? Couldn't she see how great they were together? Why did she need to hear the words?

Jasper was now wishing that he had lied; had he been more manipulative and cunning he would have said those three little words. That was all he had to do and had he done it she would've come back; she would be with him right now. It would have meant nothing to him and he would have gotten all he wanted from her. Maybe those assholes knew what they were doing, after all.

_But hell no!_ He told himself, _I wouldn't ever have lied to her_. Not just to keep her in his bed. He wanted her the way she used to be, madly in lust and hungry for him, no strings attached.

He calmed down, telling himself that once she was done with this new guy, she would come back. She would. And he would have her again, without having to compromise his principles.

But the thought of her lying naked with someone else gave him a twist in his gut, it made him furious. That soft sexy body was made for him, and only him. No one would be able to do to her what he could, her every curve fit him perfectly, her every move thrilled him. She would realize soon enough what she had given up. She'd see that they were meant to be. He would wait her out and the next time he had her, he wouldn't allow her to walk away.

#

Alice sat at her desk, stunned. She had never, ever seen Jasper mean or angry. For the first time she started thinking that she may have hurt him terribly. She couldn't do any more work. She sat there thinking of Jasper and how lost and sad he looked. Then she thought of her dad, and she bowed her head into her folded arms and started to cry.


	10. Chapter 10

**. **

Chapter Nine

The phone rang and Jessica's voice interrupted Alice's crying. "Alice, someone by the name of Mike D'Souza is here to see you." Jessica's voice was breathless.

"I'll be right there." Alice replied, opening her handbag and quickly fixing her face. She had no time to splash water on, so she scrubbed it with a wet wipe and reapplied her make-up. Her eyes were a little pink, but other than that she was sure that no one would be able to tell that she had been crying.

Less than three minutes later, she opened her door and went to meet Mike at reception, but that was more than enough time for Jessica to have sent out an alert and several women were milling about, all trying to be surreptitious and all failing. It was obvious that they were there to get a glimpse of Mike. Alice could feel their eyes on her, and as Mike stood up to greet her, she reached for his outstretched hand and smiled happily. He bent his head to kiss her softly and whispered, "Happy Birthday".

With hands clasped they walked to the elevators and fortunately it came within seconds, before Alice had the opportunity to stare her death glare at Jessica. As the elevators descended, Alice reflected that the gossip and rumor mill would be working overtime, trying to figure out the state of her relationship to Jasper, after the advent of Mike. The smile on her face held no amusement, it was a simple acceptance that her love life would be the subject on many people's mind today. She hoped word would get back to Jasper and maybe he would finally understand that their relationship was over, dead and buried.

Mike opened the door to his Mercedes and she sunk into the warm leather seat, happy to be getting away from the stress of the office.

"I made two reservations in the neighborhood." He said. "I wasn't sure what you'd be in the mood for, so it's either "Le Bisou" for French or "Aqua" for California fusion."

Alice's stomach took a dive, she had been to both restaurants with Jasper, but not only that, he often took clients and co-workers to those establishments. She had no way of knowing if he'd be going to either one for lunch today, and there was no way she'd be able to sit and eat if he was there.

"Quite frankly, I'm not even slightly hungry," was her answer when Mike asked her again what she felt like eating. Her stomach was still in knots from her earlier run in with Jasper. "I'm sorry, Mike, I just don't feel like eating, not right now." She apologized.

Mike was not the least bit put out, "Well, why don't we go somewhere special? One of my favorite spots." He said.

It was a beautiful February day, as sometimes happens in the Bay Area, some trees were putting out pink and white buds and the temperature was in the seventies, sunny and mild. Mike drove to Golden Gate Park and they pulled up in front of the Conservatory of Flowers. They sat in the car and Alice breathed in the beauty and peacefulness of the scenery. The elegant victorian greenhouse rested in a dale of the greenest grass. Framed by colorful flowerbeds and the bluest sky, the idyllic setting was just the tonic she needed.

"I love this place too." She smiled over at him. "It's so beautiful, like another world."

"Do you want to walk? Stretch your legs?"

"No. I just want to sit in here and be with you, I'm so tired." she closed her eyes and yawned. The light breeze from the open window stirred her curls and she felt them tickle her cheek, and she drifted into sleep.

Alice stretched and yawned and realized she had just woken up from a crazy dream. She had dreamt that she was crossing over a wooden foot bridge and fell through a big hole down into an immense bird nest below. She was crying out for help, knowing that that the giant bird that lived in the nest would be coming soon. Above her people were passing and looking down at her sorrowfully, but no one would help her get out. She shook the weird dream off, happy to be back in reality with Mike.

"Do you feel better?" Mike's voice was soft and he reached for her hand and squeezed it.

"Much better, I didn't sleep all that well last night, bad dreams. How long was I asleep?" She fluffed her curls as she peeked in the side mirror.

"About forty minutes."

"Gawd, I'm sorry! Not a fun date, am I?" Alice was apologetic, she really had looked forward to their lunch date and hoped he wasn't too disappointed.

"It was nice, watching you sleep." His voice was so soothing and sexy.

"Hope I didn't snore." she said reaching into her bag for a mint and offering him one too.

"Just a little." Dimples under his cheekbones deepened as he smiled.

"You're lying." She chuckled.

"I am. But if you did snore, I bet it would be adorable." His large hand reached over and held one of her hands in his. "Alice, can I ask you something about you and your father?"

She squeezed his hand in response and smiled at him. "You can ask me anything."

"Do you feel like it's your fault that he died?" he asked her.

She swallowed as her thoughts shifted back in time, she saw her six-year-old self, struggling with grief and loss. "I did for a long time. My mom sent me to therapy, you know. I saw Dr. Marcus for almost a year."

"And..? Did he help you overcome the feeling of guilt?"

"Yes, he made me see that it didn't matter what Dad was coming home to do, that the purpose was irrelevant to his death. I guess I would have come to that conclusion anyway, in time. I don't feel as though it's my fault anymore, why do you ask?"

He brought his other hand up and he drew one finger down her cheek, in a sweet caress. "I could tell that you were crying in your office today. And you talked about having bad dreams last night. I was hoping that you weren't feeling responsible for what happened to your father." He answered.

Alice shook her head. She couldn't tell Mike that Jasper was the cause of her bad dreams last night and her tears today. Instead she reassured him, "No, I just miss him, that's all. I told you, I cry on my birthday every year. I guess because my emotions are so close to the surface, anything can make me cry. One year, I went to see a romantic comedy and I cried for hours. I'm not quite right in the head." She shrugged and smiled.

"I must like girls that aren't 'quite right in the head' then." And he bent down and kissed her. Alice parted her lips and deepened the kiss. Their tongues met and stroked, dancing aound each other. Alice reached a hand up to grab the hair at the nape of his neck and held him tightly to her. Their lips fused in magic fire and his breathing quickened and he pulled away to ask her, "Are you hungry now? Or do you just want to go back to your office?"

Alice shook her head, she had made up her mind. "I want to go home." As she reached for his hand, she clarified her answer. "To _your_ home, with you." She looked into his face, her eyes pleading. "And I want to make love with you, all afternoon."

Mike nodded solwly. "Okay." he said softly. Then he laced his fingers through hers and brought her hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss there.

Alice called and left a message with Jessica that she would be out for the rest of the day; and Mike drove across the bridge to his apartment. Alice held his hand tightly as the elevator rose to the ninth floor. She was nervous as hell.

As soon as the door closed behind them Mike's arm slid under her thighs as he picked her up and carried her throught the apartment to his bedroom. Alice's heart thudded, she wrapped her arms around his neck and she kissed the curve of his jaw. She looked up at him and he caught her staring and smiled.

"Like what you see?"

"Very much. You're so handsome, I can't help ogling."

"Go right ahead. Ogle as much as you want."

When he reached the bedroom, he sat her down on the edge of his bed and knelt in front of her, staring into her eyes. Alice lifted her hands and cupped his face, giving him a soft, tender kiss; her lips capturing his full lower lip between hers. Still kneeling before her, he removed her pumps, then sliding his palms up her legs, he reached up under her skirt and started to remove her stockings. She tried to help and he swatted her hand away.

"I want to unwrap you. Slowly." He unbuttoned her blouse and kissed the soft skin of her shoulders as he peeled it down her arms. He kissed the warm, fragrant space between her breasts and moved his lips up to her neck. She felt him inhale her scent and he moaned.

His hands reached around her and unhooked her bra, slowly pulling it off, baring her breasts to his gaze. He gazed at her nipples and then looked into her eyes. "Alice, you are just too beautiful." He kissed her nipples and she sighed, this is what she had been longing for. The tug of his mouth created the most intense rush of heat between her thighs, and her legs loosened in anticipation. She ran her fingers through his straight ink-black hair, her heart melted to see him, his eyes closed, long eyelashes against his cheek, sucking at her breast.

He moved his head to suck her other nipple and Alice groaned and lay back onto the bed, pulling him on top of her. He reached under her and she lifted her hips so he could unzip her skirt and pull it down. He scattered kisses down her body, stopping at her navel and she could hear her own breath coming in short gasps. She closed her eyes and felt the kisses he trailed all across her abdomen from hip to hip. His fingers tugged on the waistband of her panties and he pulled them off, achingly slowly.

He parted her thighs and his warm tongue stroked her most secret place; he lavished her nub with attention, licking, pressing, nibbling until she was wild with excitement, until she came with a shudder and a groan. "Please make love to me now." she begged, and even to her ears her voice sounded low and desperate. He stood up and undressed. He quickly unbuttoned his shirt and peeled it off, his bronze body was smooth as silk, except for the trail of hair that led from his navel downward. He undid his jeans and she almost hyperventilated. She stared at him, god that he was, eager to feel him back on top of her, moving in her.

He put on a condom and returned to hover over her, his body kiss-close, barely touching hers; his strong arms holding him up, as he stared into her beautiful face. Her thighs parted for him and she slid her arms around his neck and brought his lips down to hers. He pushed his cock into her so slowly that she almost cried as she felt him gradually filling her. "Make love to me. Love me." she begged, her eyes staring into his, she did not want to look away.

"I do. I love you. Very much." And just like that her heart tripped and she was sailing to heaven.

"I love you too, Mike. So much." Her green eyes stared into his deep black eyes as he moved out of her slowly and then in faster and harder. He set a rhythm, slow pull, hard push and she followed it, lifting her hips to meet his powerful thrusts with hers. He touched her core, the heart of her and the building tension in her body gripped all of her senses. "Mike, ohh, Mike. Yes, just like that, darling. Please."

Her heart thundered in her chest and then it stopped and started again. The tingling buzz of her orgasm made her chest jerk upward and her back arch off the bed. Alice dimly realized that she had never, never felt like this. Not only had her body surrendered to the crash of her orgasm, but her heart felt full and tight, as though it would burst at any minute. As she tremblingly sunk back onto the bed, Mike continued to move in her. His eyes were open and fixed on her face, seeing her flushed cheeks, her eyes half closed in ecstasy, her parted lips releasing her breath in short pants. Her arms reached around to clutch his shoulders and she pulled herself up to kiss his open mouth and absorb his breath, then he surged into her one last time, groaning and letting go to fall onto her breasts.

Mike lay there panting and pulling for air, all too soon he raised himself onto his arms and tensed, but before he could pull out she grabbed his hips and moaned, "Stay in me." She was still pulsing with the force of her climax, and desperately wanted to make this moment last.

He rested on his forearms above her. She reached up and her fingers brushed the hair from where the sweat was sticking it on his forehead. She blew her breath to cool him down.

"Alice, oh god, I knew it would be good, but I never imagined it would be like this." He bent and kissed her and Alice reached up and framed his beautiful angel's face between her palms. She wanted to absorb the very essence of him and her lips encouraged his to sink deeper and deeper. The electric tremor shook her body again.

'I'm in love, so much in love.' She thought to herself before she was lost to any other thought but the feel of Mike making sweet love to her again.

#

That night, Alice and Mike arrived at her house just before seven. Renee was waiting with paradise cake, soda pop and rum raisin ice cream, just as she had done for twenty years.

As soon as she looked at them, Renee knew. How could she not know? Alice had never looked more radiant and her body seemed to mold itself to Mike's side, and she looked at him with such loving tenderness in her eyes. Renee sighed with happiness and relief. She felt as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, she could finally relax that coil that had been wound up tight in her since Alice was fifteen. Mike would bring calm and quiet to Alice's restless life.

After they ate the tropical cake, Renee went to her bedroom, claiming she had work to do, and she left the lovers alone. Alice and Mike lay side by side on the floral couch whispering their love to each other.

"I think I fell in love with you the moment that elevator door opened. I wanted to do so much more than shake your hand." Alice reached up and kissed his neck and inhaled his scent. "You made my knees go weak, with just a handshake. I wondered what making love to you would be like. That was all I could think of while we were talking."

Mike gave a big laugh. "Believe me, I could tell. It was obvious that you had more on your mind than a simple handshake." He teased her. "After all," he chuckled, "you did swoon at my feet."

Alice giggled and shoved him, "Hey, I know how to do it right. Don't you know that's how you're _supposed to _fall in love."

He sobered and looked earnestly at her. "Alice, I fell for you right then and there too, and seeing that you were interested started my heart racing. I couldn't wait to get you alone and talk to you to find out if you were as sweet and lovable as you seemed to be." Mike kissed her passionately and tightened his arms around her until she thought she would stop breathing. When he released her she felt lightheaded. "I want to hold you in my arms forever. Forever and a day."

"Forever and a day sounds about right. That's how long I want to be in your arms." Alice closed her eyes and breathed him. She felt his breath stir her curls, and his arms wrapped warmly around her. She felt the strength of his thighs as they intertwined with hers, and the tickle of their toes kissing. She had never been happier in her whole life, than she was at this moment. She felt that she had come home after a long time away, as though this was where she belonged, where she was always meant to be.

They lay there for hours, talking, whispering, touching, kissing, loving each other. "Alice, you know I love you. And I want you to marry me and have my babies and live in love and happiness. I want it all Alice. And I want it soon. As soon as we can make it happen." He kissed her tenderly. "Tell me you want it too."

"Oh, I do. There's nothing I want more. I'm only sorry that I avoided you for so long." she whispered. "To think, I could have been this happy months and months ago."

"Things happen as they are meant to happen. No regrets, Alice. We met at the right time and that's why it's worked out. Now, we have all our lives to be happy." He kissed her lips, softly and sweetly. Time and place, past and present, meant nothing when she was in his arms.

#

The following Friday, Mike took Alice out for dinner and when they returned to her house, they sat by side talking. Suddenly, he slid off the couch and he got down on one knee and asked her to marry him. "Alice Valentina Swan, will you agree to marry me and make me the happiest man on earth?" He had done his homework and consulted Renee and Bella on the kind of engagement ring they thought Alice would like. The ring he eventually presented to her was exquisite. A beautiful emerald surrounded by several small diamonds. Alice loved it especially when he told her that emeralds reminded him of her eyes.

Naturally she said 'yes' and that started the whole ball rolling. Mike immediately called his parents and they spoke to Alice, telling her that they couldn't wait to meet her. Alice fetched her Mom and Renee was so tickled that she hugged and kissed Mike over and over again. She immediately started planning the perfect wedding for her older daughter. She called Bella up in Napa and gave her the news. Renee put Alice on the phone and Bella congratulated Alice, telling her that she would be home the following weekend and they could plan the menu then. Her sister promised to oversee the catering, and Renee would organize the venue and theme. Alice couldn't care less about the wedding; not the dress, nor the food nor the theme, she just wanted to be Mike's wife. She indulged her mom who promised to call Mike's mother and start on the arrangements. The only stipulation Alice and Mike made was that the wedding should happen soon, preferably within the next two months, they wanted to be together right away. Renee practically did a jig as she ran upstairs to make plans. Alice had never seen her mother so ecstatic.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Ten

Wedding plans, wedding plans, that's all Alice heard about whenever she saw her mother or Bella. She had expressly told them that they had carte blanche, when it came to her wedding, she couldn't care less about the details. So when Renee, in conjunction with Mike's mother, had decided that the wedding would take place in New Orleans, she shouldn't have been upset, but she was. Mike's family and extended family was large, and according to Renee, it made no sense to put them through the expense of coming to a wedding in Berkeley.

Everyone agreed to the change of venue, except for Alice. Yes, the Swan family was small; yes, it only consisted of herself, Renee and Bella, but Alice had friends that she wanted to invite. And for some reason, she felt that the wedding should be here, in Berkeley, this was home, where her memories were. She had never been to Louisiana, and the thought of getting married there seemed wrong, somehow.

She kept her preference to herself, feeling selfish and not unlike a bridezilla, but one day it came out when she and Mike were having a silly argument. They were lying in his big bed, naked and warm from their recent lovemaking session. Every time she made love with Mike it had gotten better and better. This time was no exception; she had been so enraptured and overcome that she cried. She cried through her orgasm and afterwards in his arms. He soothed her and asked her if everything was okay.

"It couldn't be better, Mike." She sobbed. "My heart just overflowed, that's all. Just thank your lucky stars that it's tears and not blood. That would be messy."

He laughed then. "You're quirky."

"Yep, that I am." She smiled cheekily through her tears.

He sighed as he held her in his arms and kissed her thoroughly. "I can't wait for you to meet my family. Especially my gram, you're going to love her, and she's going to love you and your quirky ways.

"What makes you think she's going to love me?" Alice questioned him doubtfully. "Maybe she'll take one look at me and wonder if you're making the biggest mistake of your life." She fretted. _What would his family see in her? She was just an ordinary young girl who didn't deserve their handsome prince. Maybe they'll dislike her on sight._ The closer they came to the wedding date, the more nervous she was becoming about meeting his family.

"What do you mean? Of course they'll love you. I love you, they love me, ergo, they'll love you, simple logic."

She sat up in bed and looked down at him in annoyance. "Oh, so now I get it. They'll love me based on your love for me and not my own merits? Is that it? They won't like me for me?"

He tried to pull her back into his arms but she resisted, so he rubbed her back instead. "Alice, cher, what are you on about? Of course they'll love you for you."

"That's not what you said." She accused, tearing up again. "You…"

He interrupted. "You are beautiful, smart, funny, creative, interesting, and a little nutty. That's why I fell in love with you. They'll fall in love with you for the same reasons."

"I don't think so. They probably expected you to marry a brilliant doctor or research scientist. They won't want me for you. They won't want me clouding your gene pool with my less than superior intellect…"

"Alice, don't be silly…"

"See? You think I'm silly and I am." She bawled.

He sat up and hugged her. "You are perfect. Perfect for me."

"I feel like I'm being taken across country to be fed to the lions."

"What on earth do you mean?"

She yammered. "I feel like I'm some vestal virgin and they're going to throw me off a cliff..."

"Okay, now you're mixing your metaphors and your cultures. No one is going to sacrifice you. And my family will not eat you up. My mom loves you already. She told me…"

"Mike, I don't want to get married in Louisiana, I want to get married here, in my own back yard." She blurted out.

"In April? In the backyard? More than likely it'll be raining."

"I don't literally mean the backyard. I mean here, in Berkeley, where I have friends and people know me. Here, where I'm most comfortable."

"Is that what this is all about, then? You want to have the wedding here?"

She nodded. "Yes. I don't know, Alsace, Louisiana and I don't know your family, I won't even know the priest."

He was getting impatient, she could tell by his mouth, it was set in a hard line. "You said it didn't matter to you where we got married. Now that my mother and yours have settled on Louisiana… now that they've made arrangements with the hotel and the chapel… now you choose to care? That is so selfish, Alice."

"Why is it selfish? Huh? It's my wedding, not theirs. And I want it here, and it will be here." She said stubbornly.

"It's selfish because you said it didn't matter, and they've put all that time and effort into it. My mother and your mother have full-time jobs, they work hard. And they've taken all their free time to arrange a wedding for us, and now you're going to throw all that effort back in their face? Alice, this is not fair to them."

She leapt out of the bed, standing naked next to it, her hair wild and her cheeks flushed; her hands flailing around dramatically. Mike forgot his anger, all he could think about was his now hard cock and how much he wanted her again. "Who gives a shit? You care more about their happiness than mine." She wailed.

He got out of bed and hugged her tightly, hoping to bring an end to this panic attack that came out of left field. "Alice, Alice calm down, cher. You know that isn't true. Let's think about this logically, hmm?" and he maneuvered her back onto the bed.

He held her to his side as he spoke. "We can have it here, if you really want. They'll be disappointed, but I'm sure the only thing our mothers want is for us to be happy. We can get married here first and marry again there. Hell, we can get married in Vegas. That's it! We'll elope. An old-fashioned elopement, then we'll tell them the deed is done." He smiled down at her, looking so pleased with his idea. Alice's heart filled again. God, she loved this man. She surprised herself when she started to bawl again.

She covered her face with her hands. `"I love you, so much. I don't deserve you, and they'll all see that!" she howled into her hands.

"I love you, Alice. And they'll see that. They'll see two people very much in love who were lucky enough to have found each other. Everyone will love you, cher. Everyone."

And he held her in his arms until she stopped crying. She hiccupped through her sobs and said, "We can get married anywhere, as long as I have you by my side, I don't care. I'm sorry baby, I don't know what came over me, I'm just nervous about the wedding."

"I know."

"I'm anxious, and I don't even know why."

"Because it's a big change, sweetie, you'll be my wife, mother of my children; it's a life changing moment and of course you'll be anxious."

"Then why aren't _you_ anxious?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'll be anxious on our wedding day and mess up my vows and maybe you'll be cool as a cucumber." He shrugged. "But tell me the truth. Now is the time. Do you want to elope? Or maybe, have something here first?"

She shook her head. "I want to be married in the chapel you were baptized in. I think my mom and your mom have wonderful plans. I just panicked that's all. I'll have a party for our friends when we get back, is that okay?"

"I think that's a great idea."

And just like that the panic attack was over, and they got back to the real business at hand, their lovemaking.

#

It was the second week in March and Jasper and Alice were wrapping up a morning meeting on the big project in Sacramento.

As he was leaving her office, he stopped at the door and asked her, "Are you still seeing that sappy boyfriend of yours, or have you dumped him already?"

Alice continued to organize the papers on her desk and ignored him. He had made several remarks lately about her "boyfriend" and although she'd repeatedly told him Mike's name and asked him to please stop prying into her private life, Jasper wouldn't let up. She wanted to curse and yell at him and tell him that Mike was worth one hundred of him, but she bit her tongue. Not wanting to lose her temper, she ignored him, soon she would lay into him and she would spare him no mercy. He stood there waiting for a response, and he watched her for a good long time, finally he turned on his heels and left.

A few hours later she confronted him when he returned to her office to review the points for tomorrow's team meeting.

Alice stood toe to toe in front of him and she wasn't going to hold back. "Jasper, I've told you before, my personal life isn't any of your business. I hoped we could be friends, but obviously that can't happen." She ticked off his transgressions on her fingers. "I don't like your snide remarks, so please stop making them. I really used to like working here, but now I feel that there is too much animosity from you. If things have changed and you have decided that we can no longer work together then please man up and tell me so." Alice knew that her voice was cold, but she needed to draw the line.

He looked at her as though he was seeing her for the first time and that he didn't like what he was seeing. "You've really moved on haven't you? I guess I didn't mean that much to you, after all."

"Jasper, what we had was an affair, that's all. You know that we didn't have much else going on, other than the sex." She was honest with her assessment of what the relationship had meant to her.

"That's because you wanted it that way. I asked you to sleep over all night, many times. Why do you think that was? I wanted to _sleep_ with you in my arms. And talk to you all night. You're the one who made sex the most important thing in our relationship. Not me."

"Give me a break, do you expect me to believe…"

"I planned the romantic getaway…"

"For sex."

"….and I made a Christmas celebration just for us."

"…to fill up on a night of sex before you left…"

"… I fucking had to beg you to celebrate with me. Then when I called you on Christmas to hear your voice, you laughed at me."

Alice was a little ashamed of herself for that.

"If you had given us a little chance we would still be together." His blue eyes flashed angrily at her.

Alice was surprised by that last bit. What could she say? Was he really wishing they were still involved in that sordid little affair? For months they had been working as friends and she hadn't missed that part of their past at all. Apparently he had. "I'm sorry Jasper, really sorry, but you're wrong. We had nothing special." Her words were harsh even though she was genuinely sorry for any hurt she may have caused him.

"You're not sorry at all, so don't say that you are. You are fucking ice cold." He turned and slammed out of her office.

Alice sank down into her chair and worried. How was she going to fix this? She should have listened to her mother all along. Why had she been so reckless? Every action has a consequence and she realized now that the consequence was that she had unwittingly hurt Jasper.

#

She didn't leave at six o'clock, she stayed behind. When the office was completely empty, she walked down the hall to Jasper's office and knocked.

"Come in." His voice sounded weary and as she walked in his office his face was weary as well.

"Jasper? Do you have a little time? I'd like to talk to you." Alice stood by the door, trying to gage his mood. He leaned back in his chair and waved her in. He looked supremely tired.

"What do you want to talk about?"

She sat in the chair in front of his desk. "Jasper, I am deeply sorry for hurting your ego. And that's what it was. I broke it off and now you're acting all mad and shit, but I am not the bad guy here. I ended a relationship that was going nowhere, and behind all that hurt pride, you know it's true. You even told me that you don't do love, to me that meant you only wanted sex. So, what you said earlier is ridiculous. I wasn't the only one who made it all about sex, we both did that."

"Alice, I stand by my words. I tried and you didn't." He ruffled his hair and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

Alice was annoyed by what he implied and said so. "Tried? I have no idea what you mean by that. We weren't 'trying' for anything, just an exciting fuck every now and again. I don't even know you. I know nothing about you. I don't know about your family, where they live, where you grew up. I have no idea where in Colorado you went for the holidays. I have no idea if you have siblings. I have no idea about your childhood or your schooling or what made you the man you are today. You kept all that to yourself. How on earth could you even imagine we were in a relationship?"

She paused for an answer and when he stared at her open-mouthed and didn't respond she continued. "Why did we only ever talk about work and sex? Never about anything else?"

"I don't know." He said bitterly. "I guess I thought we would get to know things about each other as time went on. I didn't realize my time would be up so soon." He finished sarcastically.

"It has nothing to do with time and you know it. You didn't want me to get to know you and vice versa. I introduced you to my family, I talked about my past, I invited you to Thanksgiving and Bella's birthday. You gave me nothing."

"Maybe, if you had given it some time…"

"Bullshit, like I said, time has nothing to do with it. In the six weeks that I've been seeing Mike I know almost everything about him. I know he's from Alsace, Louisiana. I know that his mom was an orphan adopted by a fabulous couple. I know his father's family history. I know he has an older brother and a younger sister. I know the love he has for his parents and grandparents. I know his grandfather was a doctor and an avid fisherman. I know he's a Catholic. I know where he went to college and med-school. I know why he chose to become a doctor. I know about his most important relationships. I know his taste in music and film and sports. I've spoken to his family on the phone, he's told them all about me.

Most importantly, he was open for me to come into his life. He let me in fully and so I let him into mine. _He_ and I have a relationship. _You_ and I never did. We had a few fucks, and that's all." She knew she was being brutal, but she had to wake Jasper up.

She took a breath and wound up for the finish. "If you were to stop wallowing in hurt because of your wounded pride, you'll admit to me and to yourself that you never wanted a relationship. You wanted sex, which, for a time, was all I wanted too. But I soon realized how cheap it made me feel, and how empty it was."

He was stunned, shocked. He had heard everything she said but only one thing stuck. He fixed on Mike. "You're dating the doctor? Mamma's pick?"

"Yes, I am." She nodded.

"Well, I had no chance did I? Mamma approved and a doctor to boot. No wonder you dumped me, I wasn't good enough." His tone was bitter and angry.

"Jasper, I met Mike more than a month after we stopped seeing each other. I wasn't really looking for a relationship at all, or to fall in love. It just happened." She shrugged, but she couldn't hide the radiance in her cheeks or the twinkle in her eyes when she talked about her love for Mike.

He stood up and growled at her "So, you're in love, are you? True love, so quickly." he sneered sarcastically, and there was a curl to his lip when he mentioned the word love.

She stood up too and they faced each other over his desk. She had nothing to be ashamed of. She didn't betray Jasper with Mike, although he was trying to make it seem that way. "Yes, I am deeply, wonderfully in love. More in love than I ever thought possible."

"So you're in love with him." He came around the desk to stand in front of her, grasping her shoulders, wanting to shake something out of her. "And you really don't feel anything for me? Anything at all?"

She reached up and pushed his hands away. "Not really, no. You're a great boss and a nice guy, Jasper. Or rather, you used to be. It was fun, but that's all it was. And I think you should stop pretending it was anything else." Alice took a deep breath. "Anyway, I've decided to end this craziness. I'm quitting. I'll be giving in my notice to Jonathan at the end of this week. I'll work until the end of next month or however long you need me to wrap up all my projects."

That caught him by surprise. "You're not quitting. Where will you go? You signed a contract, you can't work for a competitor for at least a year, I can sue you."

She rolled her eyes. "Don't worry, I'm not going to break the contract. I have no intention of going to another design firm. As a matter of fact, I won't be looking for another job, for quite a while." She smiled, because she and Mike had discussed starting a family, sooner rather than later, and she was ecstatic.

"I don't get it. Why would you go on hiatus? You're an innovative, talented architect. You've told me many times that you need the creativity of work. I don't want Hale Designs to lose you over this."

"Well, too bad, Jasper. You have. Thanks for the opportunity. I'll miss you and everyone here." Then she thought about Jessica and Maria. "Well, almost everyone." Alice stuck her hand out for his and he took it automatically. "Good-bye, Jasper. I learned a lot from you and my time here. Thanks."

Jasper kept her hand in his, refusing to let go when she tried to pull away. "Alice do you have a fucking heart? I want you to stay and work here, with me. Please. But, you can't expect me to act like we had nothing. You have to see it from my point of view. We decorated the Christmas tree, you made dinner, we exchanged gifts and then we made love over and over. But the next time I saw you again you broke off the relationship. It was sudden, and inexplicable." His voice had gotten angrier. Now he was almost gritting his teeth in rage. "Now two months later, you're blowing me and the job off. And you tell me you're deeply in love with someone you just met, for fuck sakes!"

"Jasper, our little arrangement was coming to an end anyway. I just quickened it a little. It had no lasting power and I sincerely wish you all the best; you've been wonderful to me and a good friend and mentor. My only regret is that we _ever_ slept together, it was a huge mistake." Alice pulled her hand away and reached up and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

"Don't say that. It wasn't a mistake." He insisted, hoarsely. "It wasn't."

"Yes, it was." She nodded sadly.

He slumped and sat on the edge of his desk. His voice was low as he begged, "Stay, Alice, please."

"I can't Jasper. I just can't." She walked out of his office.

Alice went to her own office and grabbed her coat and her bag, by the time she got to the elevator, Jasper was waiting for her with his arms folded across his chest. "I'm not going to accept your resignation, Alice. I promise never, ever, ever to mention your boyfriend or our past relationship. Okay? I'll stick to the waiver I signed."

Alice wasn't convinced that he would keep his word, especially after she told him what she was about to. "Jasper, the reason I won't be looking for another job anytime soon is because I'm getting married."

Jasper drew in a sharp breath, "Married?"

Alice nodded, "Mike and I are engaged, we have been for more than a month. I'm surprised you haven't heard it from the rumor mill. We're getting married, in a couple weeks. Can you deal with that?"

Jasper replied. "Of course I can. As you said, your life is not my business."

"Jasper, I have great ideas for our projects and not just that, ideas for…the, well just say I have ideas. And I like working here at Hale Designs, I would really love to stay here and work with you, but I can't if I feel that you resent me. And that's the bottom line. It's not that I don't want you to mention Mike or our past involvement, I really don't care about that.

But I don't want you to make mean remarks, especially about him. He is the most wonderful person I've ever known, and he is a genius. He gives kids the ability to move and walk again. He is kind and loving and sweet and good. And I don't want you to be hateful towards him, ever. He doesn't deserve it, nor do I. Quite honestly, I don't know why you've grown to hate me so much, but if you want me here, you've got to stop it."

Jasper raked both hands through his hair then pushed them into his pockets; it was almost as if he didn't know what to do with them. His blue eyes looked up at the ceiling while he gathered his thoughts and then drifted back to her face. When he finally spoke his voice was flat and resigned. "I don't hate you, Alice, far from it. I've been angry because I miss you, and what we had. When you told me that you didn't want me anymore, I was surprised, but I thought what the hell, it's over, I'll move on.

But moving on was harder than I expected, seeing you and not touching you, you know? Then I convinced myself that you were only upset because I wouldn't tell you that I love you, so I thought if I gave you time, you'd miss me too. We'd get to know each other better, we'd have a deeper relationship. I guess I hoped you'd get over it and change your mind. I was fully expecting you to come back to me and that we'd start all over again." He confessed.

"You can't be serious?" she gasped out.

"Yeah, I am." He said quietly.

Alice could see that it cost him a lot to tell her this. Her heart went out to him. She hadn't known it at the time, but she now realized that Jasper, in his own way, had begun to care for her, a lot. "Oh, Jasper!", she shook her head, her eyes welling up. "I'm sorry."

They both looked at each other for a long time, until Jasper broke the silence. "Congratulations, Alice, I hope you'll be happy with him. He's a lucky, lucky man." His voice was husky with emotion.

"Thanks, Jasper." Alice was still not sure about whether she should stay on at Hale Designs, but decided to give Jasper some time. "I won't hand in my resignation, not just yet, we can play it by ear. Maybe down the line I can do consulting, I don't know. But, anyway, Mike can't take too much time off so we're not going on a real honeymoon, I'm just taking one week off and I'll be back in time for the next meeting with Zaragoza."

He nodded. "Okay, it should all work out then." He paused. "Am I allowed to kiss the bride ahead of time?"

Alice nodded and went into his arms. He held her tightly and kissed her just below her ear. "I'm glad you've decided to stay."

Alice could hear his heart beating, double time.

#

That night Jasper called his "friend" Sue. He needed someone badly. They met at Spanky's bar where he drank much more than he should have, and remembered much more than he wanted to, and grieved. Alice was in love with the doctor. Not with the glib, sweet talking jerk, he'd conjured up in his mind, but with a genius pediatric surgeon. She was getting married, and would never be his again. The second hardest thing to hear was that she regretted sleeping with him. Somewhere in his chest he could feel a heavy ache. He almost wanted to rub it, to rub away the tightness.

Every time he looked at Sue, her perfectly coiffed blond hair, he remembered the soft sweet smell of Alice's bouncy curls. He wished he could run his hand through them once more as he held her head steady for his kiss. Every time he looked into Sue's blue-grey eyes he wished he was looking into Alice's wicked green cat eyes; those green eyes that were at times teasing, sometimes brimming with tears of laughter, often bright with hungry passion, and always eager for his lovemaking.

That night he took Sue to his bed and made passionate love to her, all the while pretending it was Alice's soft, sweet body. But he couldn't keep up the pretense for long. Once he was in her, he knew it was all wrong. The scent of her was wrong. The slimness of her body was wrong. She couldn't kiss him the way Alice did, nor move with the fierceness of Alice. She wasn't the right fit for him. But he tried his best to reach that glorious release. Sue came again and again, gasping with pleasure, before he did. But late that night Jasper lay beside her in his bed, somehow still unsatisfied. Yearning for the release that only making love to Alice could bring. She'd cast her spell on him all right, he wanted her and no one else.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Eleven

Alice was not sure that she would stay at Hale Designs after all. Jasper kept his word, he didn't make any mention of Mike nor did he refer to Alice's personal life. He was professional and polite, but every so often Alice would catch him staring at her; it was a little unsettling. He would see her look up and then he would smile and walk away. She didn't feel concern for herself, but rather for Jasper; she wondered if it may be better for him if she were just to walk away.

She needed to talk to someone, but she had never told Mike about her and Jasper's relationship. She hadn't meant to keep it a secret, it just never came up. Mike was aware that she had been seeing someone, but he never asked who specifically and she never told him that it was her boss; she felt that it was a little too late to tell him at this point in their relationship. However, it bothered her that he didn't know, and she felt as though she was keeping secrets.

Maybe Renee would be able to give her some advice, Alice thought, but dismissed that idea almost as soon as it came to her mind. Renee was not the most impartial person when it came to her working with Jasper and would probably push her to leave Hale Designs. But the more she thought about it, the more she felt that she had no choice and that she needed to talk to her mother.

"Mom, I need your advice, but I want you to try to be as objective as you can be." Alice broached the subject as she helped her mother get dressed one morning, the cast was due to be removed in another week.

"Sure, baby. I'll try my best. What is it about?"

"Weeell. It's about Mike and Jasper."

"What? What about them."

"Well, I never told Mike that I had been...involved... in a relationship with my boss. It wasn't that I set out to keep it from him, it just didn't come up. And now I feel as though if I don't tell him it's like I'm lying, but if I do tell him, now, it will seem as though I've been lying to him all along. Do you know what I'm saying?"

"Yes, of course. So, what brought this on? This need to tell Mike."

"Well, I feel as though, Jasper and I are in a good place. We work well together and we're just co-workers now, strictly professional. But it was a little rough for a while there. He was making some nasty comments about the "boyfriend". I told him to stop, or I'd leave, and he has stopped. But..."

"But?

"Don't get me wrong, Jasper's been great, he has backed off completely, no more comments, but I'm worried. He stares at me, a lot, in this sad kind of way. But I don't want to quit, because of several reasons. First, I promised him I'd stay for my projects, plus I signed contract, I can't work at another design firm. But, I wonder if maybe, I should leave, anyway. Jasper's seems like he's having hard time."

"Seems like you know what to do, so what advice do you need?"

"So, I wanted to know if I should talk to Mike, about quitting, but like I said, he doesn't know."

"You want my honest opinion? Leave the job and tell Mike about you and Jasper."

"What? You seem so sure."

"I am. Leave the job, because Jasper is too much into you, even after talking to him. He may try something down the line, make you uncomfortable. He has no boundaries; look at his track record, he started an affair with a kid, an employee..."

"Mom, that's not fair. I pursued him, I pushed us into this..."

"He's old enough to have known better."

"So was I."

"Well, Alice, I am giving you my unvarnished opinion, which you asked for."

"But why should I tell Mike, if I'm going to leave, anyway. It'll only hurt him."

"Don't keep secrets from Mike, trust him. Even if he's hurt, he'll be there for you. He's a pillar, a rock. You can depend on him."

#

Three days later Mike would be prove to be a pillar of strength for Alice and Bella, just as Renee had predicted. In the midst of their whirlwind romance and wedding planning, tragedy unfolded. Alice was at work in her office on a rainy Friday evening when a crying Bella called her.

Bella was shouting and gasping for air. "Alice, Alice. It's mom. She collapsed in the kitchen and I'm going with her in the ambulance to the hospital. Come quick."

Alice's heart fell to the pit of her stomach and she felt cold and hot all at once. Her legs gave out and she sank to her chair. " Collapse what do you men collapse? What happened Bella? Is she alert? Is she okay?"

"She's unconscious. I don't know if she's okay, Alice. I really don't. All I know is that when I came home she was passed out on the floor." Bella hiccupped and her voice was low and strangled, saying something but Alice could barely understand her words. Then suddenly Bella was crying again, almost howling.

"What hospital? Bella, what hospital are they taking her to?

"I don't know, I think the closest is Merrick. Hurry.

"I'm coming, now. I'm on my way out right now." Alice was panicking too, and shouting into her phone as she grabbed her bag. "Stay with her I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Wait, Alice. The ambulance guy says that we're going to University Hospital, Alice, hurry, hurry please." and she dissolved once again into tears.

"Stay with her, don't leave her side Bella, I'll be there as soon as I can."

Alice tore out of her office and finally reached Mike when she was in a cab heading over the bridge to Berkeley. He told her that he would go immediately to the hospital and meet up with Bella and her mother there. When she hung up she felt a sense of calm. Mike would find out what was wrong and he would make it all okay.

But as soon as she arrived at the hospital she realized it was not going to be okay. When Alice walked into the emergency room at the hospital, she saw the stricken, pale look on Bella's face and knew it was going to be bad. Her gut twisted in pain when she saw Mike holding Bella in his arms. They both opened their arms to envelope Alice into the embrace.

Bella sobbed, "She's gone Alice. Gone. We're orphans. We're all alone." And she bawled into Alice's shoulder.

"What happened? Mike, what happened?" She cried as she leaned her head on his chest. Her heart was aching, twisting, hurting in her chest.

He rubbed her back gently, trying to soothe. "It was a brain aneurysm, Alice. It was sudden. It ruptured and there really wasn't anything the doctors could do to save her. I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

The night went by in a blur. Alice and Bella went in and saw their mother, the center of their little family, lying on the gurney in the emergency room. She looked for all the world as though she was sleeping. The only strange thing was the stillness of her chest. The absolute stillness of her body. Alice crawled into the bed with her mother and reached over and hugged her neck and kissed her still warm cheek. "Oh mom. Why did you have to leave me? I need you here, mom. I need you." and she cried like a baby. She reached for her mother's arm and tried to wrap it around her so that she could get one last hug; but Renee's arm slipped away.

#

Alice had no idea how she made it through the next week. She and Bella were almost catatonic with grief. Thankfully Mike was there and he helped them to handle all of the arrangements. The sisters knew that Renee would never have wanted a fancy funeral and they held a quiet memorial service at St. Mary's church in her honor. They only invited her most beloved friends, her closest co-workers and dearest clients. After the service, Bella and her boyfriend Chris, Alice and Mike circulated among the mourners, thanking them for coming. Alice held fast onto Mike, not wanting to let him go. They moved from group to group accepting condolences and giving hugs. Alice was surprised when she saw Jasper, James and Charlotte. How they found out about the memorial service, Alice had no idea.

"Mike, these are some of my co-workers; Jasper Hale, my boss and the CEO." She said.

Mike shook Jasper's hand and smiled, "Thanks for coming." He said.

"And this is Charlotte Cross." Mike shook her hand and smiled, Alice saw Charlotte swoon a little. Yes, Mike had that effect on many women.

"And this is James Hunter my assistant."

Mike shook his hand. "Alice has told me about you, and your music. She says you're a wonderful guitarist."

James smiled, "Thanks for the praise, Alice." He and Mike talked about his gig and Alice, still clutching Mike's hand, spoke to Charlotte.

"Thanks for coming, Charlotte. That was very sweet of you. How did you know where? I'm sorry but I didn't even think to call."

Charlotte nodded her head in Jasper's direction. "Jasper found out. He told us and James and I wanted to be here. For you."

Tears came to Alice's eyes, "Thank you." And she hugged Charlotte with her free arm, still clinging to Mike with her other hand. She thanked Jasper again for coming, and then she moved on to other people. She felt his eyes on her the whole time.

Renee was cremated and her ashes were mixed with those of their father. Alice and Bella decided to keep the urn in the living room, neither of them were ready to scatter the ashes as their mom had requested. They would do that at a later time, when they would be able to cope with the final farewell.

#

Mike and Alice flew to Shreveport on the following Thursday and drove to his hometown. Alice finally met the family that she'd only spoken with over the phone, her new family. They welcomed her with open arms. Mike's mom, Millie, who gave her a long hug, and told her how sad she was not to have met Renee but how much she had enjoyed their conversations over the phone. She supported Alice and Mike's decision not to postpone the wedding, echoing what Bella and Mike had said to Alice, "Renee would have wanted you to get married as planned." Alice felt a little better hearing those words from Millie.

Alice had been concerned that they may have worried about her and Mike getting married so soon, but when she met them, Mike's mother and father were brimming with joy. They had no qualms about the suddenness of the wedding. They themselves had met in medical school and married within three short months. Daniel, Mike's father said that love is too important to wait on common sense. Alice liked him immediately.

Mike's mom, Millie, was equally supportive. She kissed her son and Alice and joined their hands together in hers. "Perfectly matched." she said. Mike's gram was a lovely lady. Her hair was completely white and her beautiful blue eyes were shiny with tears. She was now confined to a wheelchair but in charge of all her senses. Mike stooped in front of her and she ran her hands lovingly down his cheek. "May God bless you both with many years of happiness." she said to them.

Bella, her boyfriend Chris and Mike's aunt Patty arrived the following evening from San Francisco, Alice and Mike picked them up at the airport and brought them to his parents' home. Because the wedding was so rushed, the families met for the first time over dinner that night. Alice met Mike's maternal uncle and aunt who were both doctors. Mike's Uncle Bill was semi-retired and lived on a horse farm in Kentucky. His Aunt Trudy was a cardiologist living in Miami.

She also met Dan's family. Dan's sisters still lived in Brooklyn and they had married two Italian-American brothers and Alice met them as well as their children who were Mike's age. The whole extended family went out to dinner at the Italian restaurant which closed its doors for them. There was laughter and joking and all the joy that comes from a large loving family gathering. Alice enjoyed Mike's family immensely and felt right at home. She held back tears all night as she thought about her mother and how much she would have loved her new family too.

Mike and Alice were married the next day. It was a starlit Saturday evening when she walked into the same small chapel that Mike had been baptized in. The chapel was so tiny, it fit only a hundred people. Eight small pews flanked either side of the aisle. The church was lit with a hundred candles and it was magical. Mike wore his tuxedo and Alice caught her breath when she saw him. No man had ever looked as handsome as her man. Alice wore the fitted ivory charmeuse wedding dress that she and her mom had bought in San Francisco. Renee had loved it on her and while at the time she had thought it too much, Alice was happy to wear it now, for Renee. It was simple and elegant. The sheer veil fell her shoulders.

The ceremony was simple and untraditional. Instead of the wedding march they chose the song "At Last" to play as she walked down the aisle, since her father could not be there, Alice didn't want anyone else to walk her down the aisle, so she walked down the aisle alone, looking at Mike the whole time. They had no best man and no bridesmaid. It was intimate and simple and perfect. She and Mike decided to forego another tradition and spoke their vows before the ceremony began.

Mike and Alice turned and held each other in a loose embrace as they spoke their wedding vows to each other. Alice spoke in a clear, soft voice:

"Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine. As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love. My beloved spake and said unto me. Rise up my love, my fair one and come away."

Mike responded in his low husky voice: "Thou hast ravished my heart. Thou hast ravished my heart with thine eyes, with one chain of thy neck. Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it. This is my beloved, and this is my friend. I am my beloved's and her desire is towards me." Mike completed the vows and brought her palm to his lips and placed a kiss there.

Father Brian started the official ceremony, "Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today…."

The ceremony was quick and they left the little chapel as husband and wife. Alice's little family was absorbed into Mike's much larger family and the result was a seamless union. They all danced until way after dark at the only hotel in downtown Alsace, Louisiana. Alice was happy and exhausted. She had been holding Mike's hand for the last six hours and it wasn't nearly enough.

Alice threw the bouquet, which was caught by Bella, who laughingly showed it to Chris. They left the family downstairs and went up to their suite. Mike carried Alice across the threshold and they fell on the bed together. "This was truly perfect." Alice said to Mike. "I really like your family and I think they really, really like me."

"Yes, they do. They are just as smitten with you as I am. You've got a way about you, Alice. You charmed the socks off my dad, I'll tell you that right now."

"Oh well, thank you kindly for sayin' so."

"You're getting the southern accent all right. A few more days here and no one will believe that you're a California girl.

"Well, you know I come by the accent nacherly. My mamma's from 'round these parts. She's from Nawlins, born and bred."

"I wonder why your mamma never came back to Louisiana to be with family after your dad died. Why'd she stay out there all alone?"

Alice caught her bottom lip in her teeth, trying to suppress the catch in her throat, before replying."Renee was her mother's only child. After my grandmother died, my grandfather remarried pretty quickly. Renee never got along with her stepmom, when she left for college she promised herself that she would never return. After my dad died she wouldn't go back, I think she wanted to prove that she didn't need them." Alice could contain it no more and she started to cry. "Plus I don't think she could bear to leave the house where she and Daddy lived. She loved him very, very much."

Mike held her tightly in his arms and kissed her tears away. "You did too. You missed them today, I know."

"Yes. I wish…" Alice caressed Mike's face. "…I wish he could be here to meet you and they could both be here to see how happy I am. I wish they had that chance. I wish _I_ had that chance."

"I'm sure they're here, and that they know." Mike smoothed her hair and kissed her.

"That would be a nice fairy tale ending, wouldn't it?"

"Have faith Alice. There are things we don't know for sure, but we feel to be true. I didn't know if you would love and marry me, but I felt that you were the one for me. And I was right. I don't know if there is a heaven or an afterlife, but I feel as though there is. Otherwise what's the point of living this life, Alice?"

"I don't know. I suppose I lost my faith long ago, when I lost my Dad. I just never could understand why a loving god would be so mean and cruel to us. I begged my mom to take me out of St Mary's elementary, and to put me into public school. I didn't want to hear a thing about god." She remembered sorrowfully, still feeling pity for the lost little girl she had been.

"Alice. People have fragile bodies, they get ill, they make mistakes, sometimes fatal ones. I work with lots of young patients and I lose some. But I always believe that their souls live on. I never accept that this is it. If I thought this was the only life we have, I think I would go crazy."

Alice lovingly stroked his dark sideburns. "I guess that's what makes you such a wonderful person. You can see tragedy time after time and still have faith. I may never get my faith back."

"Yes you will. I promise you, you will." Mike kissed her forehead and her nose, as he stroked her hair from her forehead.

Her arms circled his back and she squeezed him tightly. "You really do love me, don't you? You must love me to spend our wedding night talking about tragedy and death." Alice's heart was aching in her, aching with gratitude that she had found this kind of sweet lover and friend. A wonderful man who loved her so much and whom she loved every bit as much.

"Alice, on our first date you told me that you wanted someone who desired all of you? I remember you said the "good and the bad" of you. Well I want all of it. I want you to share your sorrows and your joys, your worries and your hopes. I want to know all of it. I don't just love your body, I love your mind and your soul, too. Right now, your soul needs me, and I want to be here for you."

At that moment, Alice felt extraordinarily lucky. "Maybe there is a God, he sent me my own angel. Angel Michael." She caressed his cheek and ran her fingers down to touch his perfect lips.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm no angel." he said as he kissed each of her fingertips.

Those chaste little kisses started a fire in her belly, "Mike, make love to me." she urged him. He bent his head and kissed her. His mouth was hot and passionate. His hands roamed her body, until he found the long zipper on the side of her wedding dress, and eased it down. His warm hand slipped in and pressed the bones of her spine down to the swell of her bottom. He pulled her hips into his and his heart raced with the urgent desire to feel his naked body on her and in her softness.

"My sad, beautiful Alice, let me make you happy." Mike eased the narrow straps of her dress off her shoulders and rained hot kisses all over her collar bone. He kissed the curve of her luscious breasts that swelled over the edge of her lacy bra. He kissed her until the ache in him became almost painful. Alice had the ability to make him go a little wild with desire.

In the meantime Alice's hands were busy undoing his black tie and buttons of his tuxedo shirt, reaching hungrily inside to touch his chest and belly. "Darling, I love you, so very much." Her warm palms caressed him as her thumbs teased his flat nipples.

"I love you too. More than anything." Mike was almost bursting with need, and he stood up and pulled her off the bed and quickly stripped them both of all their clothes. He reached for her and they held each other close. Then Mike laid her gently back on the bed. His eager tongue lapped at her nipples while his fingers moved between her thighs and stroked her warm wet nub, until she moaned out loud. He whispered to her how beautiful she was and how much he adored her. She told him how much she loved him and would always love him, and when they came together, it was like nothing else either of them had ever felt before.

Alice shook with tremors as Mike's body reached to the core of hers again and again. Her mind, body and spirit were all wrapped up in Mike. She thought of nothing and felt nothing but him. No past, no pain, no sadness, just the joy of being one with him. His breath on her lips was heaven and his silken body moving in her was all she wanted. Her orgasm came hard and fast, the overwhelming electricity caused her body to bend and her knees clamped around Mike's waist. When he felt her release he let himself go too, falling with her over the edge to a shared bliss. The waves of pleasure that washed over them were intense and mind-blowing. In minutes they were fast asleep in each others' arms.

The next morning they said good-bye to their families and flew back to California to enjoy a four day honeymoon in Napa. Mike had to get back to the hospital by Thursday afternoon.

#

Before her mother had died, Alice had almost fully moved into Mike's condo. But when they returned from their honeymoon, Alice was reluctant to leave the house that she had grown up in. As she packed the last of her clothes in her suitcase and prepared to leave the purple Victorian she felt a stab of loss. It would be left empty for a few months until Bella graduated and moved back home, if that was what she intended to do. She hadn't made up her mind yet.

Memories of her parents together, she and Bella as children, and most of all her mother, haunted her as she went through the house and shut the windows and locked the door. Alice lingered on the porch and stared at the neighbors' houses on the street she had grown up on.

For most new brides in her position this would be the closing of a door and the opening of another but she was well aware that the closing of this door was more significant for her. Her parents were gone and once she left this house, the life she had known would be hers no longer. Ever. She would not be able to come home for Thanksgiving or Christmas. She would not be bringing her newborn to visit his grammy and gramps. Once the door was shut, it would remain shut on all her past and her ability to revisit would be gone forever. The thought of leaving her house was as sharp as a knife wound to her still grieving heart. She sat on the porch swing and made a decision. She called her husband.

#

The Saturday after they returned from their honeymoon, Mike closed up his condo and the movers trucked his dark mahogany bed and bedroom furniture and clothes into the purple Victorian in the Berkeley Hills.

They moved the twin bed and dresser that she'd had since childhood into the attic and Mike's big wooden bed and furniture were placed into her bedroom. Fortunately, her room was no longer the pepto bismol pink it used to be when she was little; when she moved back home she had repainted it a light, buttery yellow. The color was soft and airy and the room was perfect for the newlyweds. French doors led to the back deck that ran across the width of the house.

Bella's bedroom was on the other side of the house adjacent to the bathroom, and her French doors also opened onto the back deck. The deck led down to the backyard and garden that her mother had loved. Full of roses and scented flower beds it had been Renee's pride and joy. Alice made a note to herself to hire a gardener the following week so that the backyard would not become overgrown. Neither she nor Bella were committed gardeners like their mother had been.

Alice called Bella and told her that she and Mike would be living at home and Bella was ecstatic. She confessed that she did not want to live there alone, but could not face leaving it locked up either. Bella promised to come home the following weekend to help sort out their mother's clothes and send stuff onto Goodwill, as their mother would have wanted. Alice knew that she had made the right decision and that night she and Mike talked about their future. They had talked before about wanting children sooner rather than later and Mike agreed that the Victorian was the ideal place to start a family. He was willing to rent out his condo and they could save up to buy a bigger house later on.

#

Alice returned to work the following Monday as she had promised Jasper. They met with Zaragoza in Jasper's office to go over the latest blueprints and everything seemed to be going according to plan. The following day, she and Jasper met with James, Willow and Aleksandr in her office. Willow spotted the wedding photo of her and Mike and picked it up off her desk.

"So that's the husband! Mmm, he's hot and hunky."

Jasper's head snapped up and his eyes flashed and bored into hers and Alice was unable to look away. For moments on end, their eyes were locked together; Alice flushed, realizing that the others had fallen silent, looking from her to Jasper and back again. There were quite a few seconds of uncomfortable silence until Jasper finally spoke.

"Well, I want to offer my congratulations, Mrs. D'Souza. I hope you'll be very happy."

"Thank you, Jasper." The others murmured their well wishes and the awkward moment passed. The moment, though, was confirmation to anyone in the room who had ever doubted it, that she and Jasper had been much more than just colleagues.

After the meeting Jasper made it a point to speak to her privately.

"I meant it Alice, I wish you the best. You look radiantly happy."

"I am, Jasper, I truly am. Mike makes me completely and utterly happy. The only sad part is that my mother isn't here to see how her happy prodigal daughter is." She shook her head and smiled, holding on to a little hope that her mother knew.

"Well, I'm happy, that you're happy. I never got to talk to you at your mother's memorial, but I wanted to tell you that my prayers were with you and Bella. I know what a wonderful mother she was and I'm sorry that you lost her so soon."

Her throat tightened, but she mamaged to get her thanks out. "Thanks, Jasper. That means a lot to me."

"Anyway, some of the staff were thinking of giving you an after wedding shower. They weren't sure about giving you a shower before because it was so close to your mother's funeral, they weren't sure if it was appropriate. But I said that I would approach you and ask if it would be okay."

"Thanks so much Jasper, I really appreciate the sentiment, but I don't really want a bridal shower, I wouldn't feel comfortable. Mike and I have everything we need." She smiled. "They should probably save it for my baby shower."

Jasper tensed, "You're pregnant? That's why you rushed into marriage with him?" He burst out.

"No, no. I'm not pregnant, not yet. I'm just saying that they can save the celebration for another time. In the future. And, Jasper, just so you know, I married Mike for love, pure and simple."

"Right. Well, I'll tell my secretary. She was the one who wanted to organize something."

"I'll talk to Charlotte myself, Jasper. There's no reason for you to be the go-between." Alice was effectively cutting her last intimate tie with Jasper. He knew it and he looked as if he wanted to say something more, but instead he turned on his heels and left her office.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Twelve

_Present_

"Yes, I remember. As a matter of fact you won't let me forget it, you keep bringing it up. But I'll see you Thursday at seven-thirty. Bye." Alice's voice was sultry.

"Seven- thirty it is, Alice. Wear something sexy." He chuckled at her gasp. "Bye." His voice was husky and soft.

Jasper hung up the phone after arranging dinner with Alice. He leaned back against the throw pillows of the couch in his San Diego flat. Just as he'd expected, Alice had had no trouble sealing the deal with Glenn Burnett, she was his ace in the hole. She was also the best architect on staff, and he counted himself shrewd to have hired her.

On the other hand he counted himself as stupid to have lost her to her husband. She had been, beyond any measure, the best match for him, in and out of the bedroom. After she was widowed he gave her time to grieve, he thought a year was sufficient, and then started to pursue her again. At every step she resisted him, he couldn't even begin to count how many times in the last six months he had asked Alice out to dinner only to be turned down.

At first he took it in stride. He realized that it would take a little time for her to see him as more than a friend and boss, but even now, eighteen months after Mike died, Alice still wouldn't meet him outside of work hours. Jasper knew that it wasn't grief that was preventing her from meeting him, the truth is Alice did not _want _to see him on a more personal level. She was making it clear to him that they were coworkers, nothing more.

So today when she agreed to this celebration dinner, was the first time that he'd been given an opening, and he had every intention of taking full advantage of it. He wanted Alice back, back in his arms and back in his life and back in his bed. He'd waited a long time for her and he was now eagerly anticipating starting a new chapter in their lives.

Alice Swan. She made him smile, like no other woman ever had. She could make him laugh and she shocked him. She had the softest, warmest, sexiest body. And she was the most uninhibited lover he'd ever had.

Looking back in time, he was fortunate that their paths had crossed that day by the elevators, another few minutes and they would never have met. He was also lucky that she had flirted with him, because seeing how young she was he would never have pursued her. But once she started there was no way he could have stopped himself, she was sexy and funny and interesting. To him their two month affair had been deeply satisfying, he would look forward to coming home after his business trips, eager to see her; when he was with her he wanted for nothing and no one else. He used to look forward to their passionate afternoons and their even more passionate nights, but he also loved talking to her and holding her. After two months of the best relationship he had ever had, she had called it off. It took him by complete surprise when she told him that she wanted them to be just friends. He didn't expect to miss her so much. He scrambled for a bit, but then decided that she needed time apart, time to miss him and then she would come back. He was dead wrong.

In short order, less than three months after she had dumped him, she had met, fallen in love and gotten married to a handsome young surgeon. That's when it hit him that she had never thought of him in the same way that he had been thinking of her, that's when he realized what he had started to feel for her was love.

After Alice got married, she continued to work for him, and he had no choice but to accept that all he could ever have with her was a professional relationship, but it was hard. She was so obviously happy and so obviously in love, that every time he saw her he felt the knife twist of overwhelming jealousy, it was an actual ache in his chest. He missed her. _Missed _her. He missed the feel of her in his arms. He missed the smell of her, her breath, her hair and the feel of her warm, soft, sensual body. He missed her husky voice whispering in his ear, urging him on as they made love. But surprisingly, what he missed most was her laughter, and the way she would tease him with her words and her body.

The weeks after her wedding were the hardest. Jasper came to dread hearing anything personal about Alice and Mike. After her marriage, Alice and his secretary, Charlotte, became very close. Both recently married, both in the baby making business, they started meeting for lunch almost every day. A few months before, when he and Alice had been having their steamy affair, he would have never have expected it, but after she had married it was not unusual for him to open his office door to speak to his secretary, only to find Alice whispering and laughing with Charlotte. She seemed so different from his Alice, yet so much the same. She seemed open to friendships with the women she worked with and open to everyone but him.

That summer after she married, Alice put in for two weeks unpaid leave and he overheard Charlotte teasing her about her Hawaiian 'procreation vacation'. Alice giggled in reply and said, "The way we've been going at it, it should have happened by now. But this is it, we're ready to make babies. Plenty of dark-haired, dark-eyed babies." She sighed theatrically, and Charlotte laughed and as they talked, he silently closed the door. The ache in his chest had not eased.

#

That summer and fall, Jasper spent a good deal of time traveling. He opened satellite offices in Austin and Denver. He delegated a lot of his duties in San Francisco and spent most of the time meeting with prospective clients. It was a good move for business, the number of projects more than doubled. But that's not why he was gone all the time. He was a man on the run. It was nearly impossible for him to function normally when Alice's marital bliss was so obvious.

It was even harder when word got around the office that Alice was going to have a baby. At that point Jasper was starting to seriously consider moving to Denver permanently. Not only would he be able to avoid seeing Alice, but he would be nearer his ailing father. His father was nearing eighty and in the last stages of Alzheimer's. These days it was hard for his elderly aunt to cope, even with a hired nurse. His aunt was emotionally battered. Jasper and his sister were on the verge of deciding to put their Dad in a nursing home. The only reason they hadn't done so is that they wanted to comply with the old man's desire to die in his beloved Rocky Mountain home; the home that he and his wife had retreated to for many summers before she had succumbed to breast cancer just one year after they retired.

Jasper knew that if he moved to Denver he would be able to see his father at least twice a week, and that would ease his guilt about having to put him in the nursing home. The other bonus would be that he would be able to start a new life in a new place without constantly seeing, hearing and thinking about Alice.

He remembered the day, like it was yesterday. It was a few days after Thanksgiving and he was at Ontario airport, awaiting the flight that would take him to close the deal on a condo in Denver, when Charlotte called him with shocking news. Mike, Alice's husband, who was on a medical humanitarian mission in northern Pakistan, was dead. A suicide bomber had barreled his taxi into a hotel in Peshawar, half the hotel had collapsed crushing many of the guests. Alice's husband had been asleep in that hotel when he died.

Bella was driving Alice to the airport when she had collapsed. Shock and grief led to her miscarrying her baby. An ambulance had taken her to the Saint Francis Medical Center. Jasper immediately cancelled his appointment in Denver and took the next available flight to SFO.

#

Jasper walked into the hospital, eager to see Alice. He had to make sure she knew that he was there for her, to give her anything she needed. The nurse at the station pointed to the hallway and told him the room number, "Down this hallway, make a left and then a sharp right after the double doors. Room 2532. She should be waking soon."

The doctor was in with Alice and he saw Bella pacing outside the room; once she saw a familiar face she collapsed into his arms crying and struggling with exhaustion and sadness. She was grieving for Alice, Mike, and the baby; she was stressed beyond breaking point. Crying into his shoulder she told him what he already knew from Charlotte, but she went into more detail. Apparently she and Alice were checking into the airport having gotten a flight to Mumbai, where they would meet up with Mike's parents, when Alice started to feel cramping. Minutes later she was bleeding and nearly unconscious, and Bella had to deal with airport security and the TSA as well as the medical personel at the airport. The trauma had taken its toll on her and she was near breaking point. Jasper convinced her that she needed to get a good night's sleep, promising that he would stay with Alice throughout the night. Finally she allowed him to call a taxi and she went home.

When he saw Alice lying in the hospital bed, he drew a deep sharp breath. It was Alice, but not Alice. She looked like a pale shadow of what she should look like. The dark shadows under her closed eyelashes, her skin although still beautifully golden was pale and bloodless underneath. he dragged a chair next to her bed and held her hand gently in his. As he sat there staring at her, she started to awaken. And he heard her whimper and start crying. "Are you in pain? Do you want me to call the nurse?" He asked her urgently.

She opened her green eyes and there was so much pain in them that he almost cried. "Jasper? What are you doing here?"

"Bella called Charlotte and explained what happened. I had to come and see you." He explained simply.

"Where is Bella?" she asked in a near whisper. Her eyes looked around searching the room for her sister.

"She went home to shower and sleep. She wanted to stay with you, but she was really tired. She needed the break."

She nodded, "I know. She's been here all last night and all today." Her voice drifted and it ended in a hiccupping sob.

"I'm so, so sorry Alice." He squeezed her hand that lay limply on the sheet that covered her from the waist down.

"Jasper, oh, Jasper." Her face crumpled and the tears came streaming from her eyes. "Mike is gone. Gone. Forever. Do you realize that? I have no one. I have nothing, n..n.. nothing at all. Everyone I had is gone. Everyone I loved is gone, Jasper. Just gone." And her body was wracked with deep sobs.

Her cry was the most heartbreaking sound he had ever heard, each sob was ripped from her throat, her pain indescribable, terrible and haunting. She was so beautifully sad and fragile, not his feisty Alice, but a lovely, little, broken bird. He couldn't fight the urge and he laid himself next to her in the narrow bed, holding her tight, as tight as he could to protect her from the world that had turned so cruelly on her. He stroked her hair and comforted her as though she was a child.

Many minutes later she lay quiet in his arms, save for the occasional deep drag for air. She started talking again, not so much to him but to herself. "You know, if I believed in God, I would end it now. I would take every pill they've given me and swallow them all at once. If I believed in God, I would end it so that I could be with Mike forever and ever." The tears seeped from under her closed eyelids. "But I don't believe in God at all. How could a god take the most perfect human being away. How could a god take my little baby from my body, the only thing I had left of Mike." Alice started to sob again. "Jasper, how could there be a god who would do such bad things?"

What could he say to comfort her? He had trouble understanding it himself. Strong, young Mike, just married a few months and now he was dead, killed in a random terrorist bombing, thousands of miles from his home. Mike who yesterday had everything to live for, a new wife and a baby on the way, was dead.

"I don't know what to say, Alice. I just don't." he whispered, at a loss for words.

She looked up at him, her green eyes again filling with tears. "It's not right, it's not fair Jasper. He was smart and good. Think of all the children he could have helped, the lives he could have saved. He was someone who could do a world of good. Now he's dead and gone." Alice clenched her fists and bit her knuckles. "Do those fucking bastards know what they did? In the name of god they do evil, evil. And the sad part is that they don't have heart enough to care. I hate them, I hate them. I fucking hate them with all my heart." And she broke into wild sobs again. Then the sobs turned into screams of agony. She wailed for Mike and for their baby. Her cries broke his heart, shattered it as though it was made of glass. Shattered it into a million pieces. Jasper rang for the nurse who came in with sedatives. He watched her cry herself to sleep. He waited and watched her all night, even in her dreams an occasional sob escaped.

#

Jasper devoted every minute of the following week to Alice. He and Bella tag teamed so that Alice would never be alone. When she was released from the hospital, it was Jasper who drove her home. Bella made the meals in the evening and he was there every morning, making her tea or coffee and urging her to eat whatever goodies her sister had made, sometimes when she refused to eat he even threatened to feed her.

Once home, Alice had become quiet, introspective. Days went by and she moved around the house like a zombie. She barely spoke, rarely got out of bed and she surrounded herself with as much of Mike's things as she could get her hands on. She dug in the hamper and wore his shirt day and night, refusing to wash it. She stared at the photos of him. She sprinkled his cologne on her pillow. She cried as she ate, she cried as she sat and stared into the backyard. Sometimes she would suddenly bury her face in her hands and weep for long minutes. She cried until her face was chapped and tight. And then she cried some more. Jasper couldn't bear to see her like this but he couldn't bear to leave her either.

The only time Jasper let Alice out of his sight for any length of time was when she and Bella flew to Louisiana for Mike's memorial service. It wasn't his choice not to attend, but he understood how awkward it would be for Alice if he had shown up. While she was gone he worried that she wasn't taking care of herself and crying too much. He called Bella and asked her how it was going, Bella said that Alice was holding up fine.

When Alice returned from Louisiana he noticed a marked difference in her behavior. She didn't cry as often, she threw herself into starting a scholarship fund at her husband's alma mater. It seemed to give her focus. A few weeks later she flew to Pakistan and visited the orphanage with her mother-in-law, it seemed to give her closure, to go where he lived his last day. The D'Souza family donated more than a hundred thousand dollars and it was renamed in honor of their son, the Mike D'Souza Children's Orphanage and School. Alice personally donated thousands to the catholic charity that ran it.

#

Alice returned to work after three months and there was a renewed purpose and zeal in the way she attacked each project. Jasper had given her the lead on several big projects and she nailed all of them, earning promotion after promotion which, Jasper knew, did not endear her to some of the architects who had been there much longer. But none of them could deny that she was talented and a hard worker. Which is why he had given her the Austin/Burnett project.

Her work was everything, she'd worked so hard in the last year that she had no private life to speak of. Although she was still the same outrageous flirt that she always had been, none of her flirtations led to dates let alone relationships. Jasper knew this because he kept a close watch on Alice and kept in touch with Bella. Bella often expressed concern that Alice was working too hard and was alone too much.

Although Jasper didn't say it to Bella, he was happy to hear it. He knew better than almost anyone that Alice was a very sensual woman and would not be able to go without someone for much longer, so when she agreed to go out with him, he made plans.

That Thursday evening Jasper arrived at her door exactly at seven. Alice was not quite ready and she came to the door in her robe. "Jasper, I thought we said seven-thirty. Are you trying to catch me naked?" She teased.

"_Are_ you naked?" He peered down the neck of her robe lasciviously.

"I'm not saying." She chuckled, as she stepped aside to let him in.

"We did say seven-thirty, but I was ready and didn't want to wait outside in the car for half an hour. I hope you don't mind." Jasper said as he walked into the living room.

"I don't mind, as long as you don't mind waiting in here for half an hour. Beauty can't be rushed, you know." She quipped. "Pour yourself a glass of something, while you wait. Beer and white wine are in the fridge and you can find whiskey and vodka in the cabinet above it."

Jasper got a whiff of her perfume as she turned and went into her bedroom. He was tempted to follow her, but realized he had to stick to his game plan. He poured himself some wine and turned on the stereo. The sensuous strains of Stan Getz filled the living room.

Alice came out in fifteen minutes. She was wearing a slip dress made of deep red silk jersey. The hem and neckline were embroidered with teal roses and lime green leaves. Jasper had never seen her looking sexier. "You look lovely, as always, Alice."

"Thanks, Jasper." And she held out her matching red georgette wrap for him to help her into.

At the restaurant they ordered white wine to go with their Canard a lorange with glazed turnips and talked about the project in Austin as they waited for their entree.

"Burnett really was impressed with you, you know. He's going to want to see you often as the job moves forward. He's the kind of guy who wants to meet with the person in charge, so you'll have to travel back and forth a lot over the next two years."

"That's okay with me, Jasper. As a matter of fact this kind of fits in with something I wanted to discuss with you. Unlike most of the other architects I don't have family commitments and children, so I would like to take on projects outside the Bay Area. I would like to make a proposition. I see myself as the project manager for Austin and Denver. In essence doing for those two offices what Maria does for our local projects. Assigning and overseeing."

"I have been thinking of hiring a project manager but I was thinking of offering Harry C. the job. He's done that sort of thing before and he's very good at assigning the right job to the right people. He is also no wimp when it comes demanding performance. He is very good with clients, good at calming them when things are a little hairy. The only problem is that Harry may not want to travel, he has two kids and a wife who is a trial lawyer and has a demanding career of her own." He paused. "I think he would be the best person for the job, so I'd like to offer him the opportunity. If he turns it down, then you would be one of two others that I would consider. I hope you understand."

"I can't say that I'm not disappointed. I think I'm just as good as Harry, but it is your decision." Alice took a deep breath and continued. "Either way though, I've decided I can't work with Maria anymore. She is a giant pain in my ass and a bitch, she can't stand me, and I can't stand her. She is of no help to me, she is not the least bit supportive and I have no intention of continuing the way it has been going. If I have to continue working with her, I'm quitting. " Alice took a sip of wine. "Just so you know I have been interviewing at other firms. I haven't accepted an offer, but I intend to if something good comes up."

Jasper nodded, not hiding his disappointment. "As long as you keep to the terms of the contract, I can't stop you. I understand that you have to do what's right for you, so thanks for telling me. But I'm not going to change my mind about offering Harry the job before offering it to you.."

Alice was surprised that he thought she was trying to push him into hiring her. _He has trust issues_, she thought to herself. She took a calming sip of her wine before responding."Jasper, I wasn't trying to force your hand. I'm just telling you what _my_ intentions are. I have been thinking of moving into residential green designs anyway, and the firms I'm interviewing do just that. It's what I really want to do, anyway. And as I said, if the opportunity arises, I'll take it."

His mouth tightened and then he suddenly asked her, "Why are you always trying to leave me?"

Alice was taken aback. His voice had an edge of frustration and maybe sadness. She had no idea what to say and knitted her brows. "I don't know what you mean?"

"I mean what I said. You always want to push your way out of my life, when I do something you don't like. I think that you have problems when it comes to compromising and reaching an agreement. With you I always feel that I'm facing an ultimatum."

"What? You're making no sense. I'm not obligated to stay at this job and compromise about how I'm treated by my supervisor. Anyone in this situation would want to leave. I think _you're_ the one with the problem. You act as though I should fight to stay even if I'm unhappy. This is a _job _not a marriage."

Jasper pursed his lips and they said nothing further as they waited for the food to be served.

They ate in near silence, only commenting on the taste of the food. Alice was praying for the time to go by quickly when Jasper asked her, "So your heart is in residential designs. How come you've never said so?"

"I don't think I realized it until a couple months ago. It was what I saw myself doing when I was younger, then after graduation I drifted into commercial designs without really thinking about it. Lately, I've been thinking that I want to get back to designing family homes. The time is right for new and innovative, environmentally friendly designs."

"Well, coincidentally, I have a friend who approached me about designing a home for him. I told him I'd think about it, if you would like to try your hand at it you can get a chance to see if it's what you want. He is very innovative, he wants cutting edge technology and he has a lot of money to spend. The land he has is near the Russian River and it has immense possibilities. I was going to turn it down because I really don't have the time, but I can arrange a meeting and we can work on it together. He wants to use local artists and materials, and he wants something organic, that will fit into the setting. He's thinking, woodsy, natural but luxurious. Interested?"

"Yeah, I am. Just hearing you talk about it is making me excited. Who is this friend?"

"His name is Phil, he is a friend from Penn State. He went into business developing and manufacturing airline parts, made a killing and retired early. Phil is on his fourth divorce and he has a twenty-one year old stepson, whom he adopted when he and his first wife married. He is a good guy, with a good heart that has been broken often. His worst flaw is that he has lousy taste in wives. But, I think you'll like him."

"Man, you really know how to synopsize a person's life in five sentences or less. I wonder what you would say if someone were to ask you about me." Alice mused. When he didn't answer, she asked more directly. "Tell me, what would you say? Pull no punches."

"No."

"Please? I won't be upset, I promise."

"I would say that Alice Swan is smart and gorgeous, and she is, without question, one of the sexiest woman I've known. She is also talented, honest, funny, playful and dedicated to her work. Her one flaw is that she is unwilling to take another chance at life. She lives half a life because she is afraid of love and loss. She lives in the shallow end because the deep end is too scary."

"So that's what you think about me?" she taunted, her eyes flashing. It was obvious that she _was _upset, even though she had told him not to hold back.

"Yeah. That's what I think." He challenged. "Am I wrong?"

She ignored his question and asked one of her own. "How about you, Jasper? How would you describe yourself in five sentences, hmm?"

"I can't tell you that, it would be too revealing." He smiled cheekily.

"How about if _I_ give it a try? I won't even need five sentences. Ready? Jasper Hale is the perfect man, until you look closely. Then you'll see that he is as hard and as cold as a block of ice."

They stared at each other. "So I guess I must have hit a nerve, huh?" Jasper replied tauntingly.

"No. You don't know me." She retorted.

"Are you saying I'm wrong? You're not afraid of being involved with someone? You live your life to the fullest since Mike died?"

"Yes, you are wrong. I live my life fully. I have friends and I love my sister and my job. So what if I don't date? It's not because I'm afraid of love, Jasper. It's just that I know it won't happen again for me. I'm grateful to have been in love, it was a miracle that I fell in love with a great guy and that he loved me right back. But miracles like that don't happen twice in a lifetime.

And it's not that I'm afraid, Jasper, it's that I've changed. I don't even think I know the person I was back then, I'm different. Mike took me and he held me by his side, and he showed me a glimpse of heaven. He showed me how wonderful this lonely little life could be when you go through the world side by side with your other half. Now that my other half is gone, I'm standing all alone, but I'm still taken. I belong to him." A tear trembled on her lower lash and she brushed it away.

"I realize now why my mom was alone for all those years. I didn't understand then, but I do now. Once you've made love with the one who was meant for you, no one else feels right. They are all just pale substitutes, like shadows on a wall." She took a deep trembling breath. "I don't want to be with anyone else, ever again. It would be empty and meaningless. I have my memories of Mike and that's what will keep me. That's all I need."

Jasper was moved, but not to sadness, to fury. "You're twenty-six, for God's sake. You can't just shut that part of your life off. Maybe your mother could, but not you. Much as you want to dismiss it, your sexuality is a big part of who you are. You're going to have to indulge it and when you do, it will be with me."

Alice was stunned. "You're nuts, you know that? I would never, ever sleep with you again. I learned my lesson the first time."

"What do you mean? What lesson?"

She twirled her wineglass, looking pensive. "I told you at the time, but I guess you just weren't listening. It was empty, unsatisfactory. Just the verb.

"What?" Jasper was puzzled.

Alice leaned across the table and hissed out. "Fucking. The verb is fucking. We were fucking." She leaned back. "And to tell you the truth, it became sad."

Jasper was taken aback. How could Alice be so clueless. "You're wrong. It was never like that."

She snorted and took a sip of wine. "Don't you remember, Jasper. You told me, 'I don't do love'. That said it all. You're a booty call, a no emotion, no commitment kind of guy. I was just another in a long line of "Sue"s."

Another Sue? Was she crazy? He wanted to correct her but didn't. He was going to get her anyway he could. "Well that should make me perfect for you. You just told me that you won't fall in love again. So, why not make the most of what we can have?"

"No."

"Why not? Afraid?"

"No. I'm just not interested in sharing my body with you anymore."

"Oh I think I can make you interested. But I'll just bide my time and when you're ready, I'll be here."

"Don't wait for me Jasper. You'll be waiting forever."

"Oh, I don't think so. I'd even bet on it. I give your celibacy, another six months, max." He smirked.

Alice was sipping her wine again and the urge to laugh was so strong that she almost gushed a mouthful of wine onto the tablecloth, she only just managed to swallow it. She gasped out, "You're outrageous, do you know that? And you're far too cocky and sure of yourself. What kind of man are you? What kind of man would dare a widow into a sleazy, 'no commitment' affair and make a wager on it?"

"I'm _that_ sure of you. You want me. You don't want to want me, but you do. You lay awake at night and you wonder what if. The only thing keeping us apart is your guilt. You feel as though you would be betraying Mike, because you still feel married to him. I understand that. But let me give you something to think about. If you were the one to die first, would you have wanted Mike to shut himself off and never look at another woman? Is that the future you would want for him?"

#

Alice lay in bed that night, thinking how right she had been to have cautioned herself when she had made this date with Jasper. She was right to be careful, because Jasper had come fully prepared to persuade her back into his bed. But not in the way she had anticipated. She had been prepared for sweet words and flirting, what she hadn't come prepared for was the direct, 'balls out' approach. He had caught her off guard, the wretch. Now, here she was lying in bed thinking about him, which contrary to what he said, she hadn't been doing before. She was, for the first time in a long time, thinking "what if" about her and Jasper. What if she threw all cares aside and indulged in an affair with him?

But her thoughts of "what if" stopped as soon as she thought of Mike. Mike's sweet face was still so real in her mind's eye. She remembered the last time they'd made love, right here in his big wooden bed. She remembered how slow and gentle he was and how he groaned her name in her ear when he came. She remembered the feel of his body resting on hers. She remembered how afterwards he rubbed her small belly as he suggested names for the baby they both wanted so much.

She remembered the last hug and kiss they shared at the airport. She was now glad that she'd insisted on driving him there and that she'd parked and walked through the terminal with him, rather than just dropping him off as he had wanted. She was glad that she'd kissed him and held him tightly and told him how much she loved him and how happy he had made her. Most of all she was glad that he had told her that he felt like the luckiest man alive. Alice's heart began to squeeze in that old familiar way, and she lay there and let the tears flow.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Thirteen

Friday morning Alice went to work with red-rimmed, swollen eyes. She had wept for hours and hours until she had finally cried herself to sleep. Even with carefully applied make-up it was still apparent that she'd had a miserable night, thank goodness she had no meetings scheduled. Her choice of clothes that morning reflected her mood, she wore mourning clothes, black slacks and a black ribbed turtleneck, her hair pulled back by a black velvet hair band. Jasper walked into her office, looking only marginally better. He obviously hadn't slept much either.

"Hey." Alice greeted him.

"Hey, yourself. Rough night?"

"Yeah. I haven't had a night so bad in months. I remembered everything about Mike and our last days. I could hear his voice so clearly..." She paused to blink back sudden tears. "The only way I finally fell asleep was by sprinkling Mike's cologne on the pillow and holding tight."

Jasper approached her and rubbed the top of her arms gently. "Sorry."

She shrugged. "It's not your fault. Sometimes it hurts so much to remember him."

"Alice," he asked softly, "have you thought about going to therapy?"

She snorted dismissively. "I have thought about it, Jasper, many times; but what good would it do? I love him and I know he loved me and I'm angry at the world that he was taken away, but nothing, nothing I do will ever bring him back. I don't want to tuck the memory of him away in some therapist's office, I want to _feel_ him. To be honest, I want to feel the pain, I love it. It's like I told Mike, feeling the pain brings fresh memories and that's when I feel closest to him.

"Have you been 'talking to Mike' often?" He eyed her warily.

Alice realized that Jasper thought she was going crazy and giggles started to bubble up. Between gurgles of laughter, she explained. "No. When we were dating I explained to Mike how I enjoyed the pain of remembering my dad who died just before my birthday. He told me that he felt the same way remembering his grandfather. The pain is reassuring in a way."

"Oh." He breathed a sigh of relief. "When you said you were 'talking to Mike' I thought that you meant you were 'talking to Mike' now, in the present tense. I was a little worried."

A loud giggle escaped her throat, followed by another and then another, dispelling her melancholy. "I know. I wish you could have seen the expression on your face. It was obvious that you thought I was a little loony. Well, there's no need for you to worry, Jasper. I'm still sane, just barely." She grinned up at him.

Jasper slid his arms around her back and pulled her close for a tight hug. "That's good, baby, because I've never made love to a nut job before. But I would have had to make an exception for you."

She tried to pull away, but he held her in place in the circle of his arms. "I told you Jasper, it's not going to happen."

He ran his hands down her back to cradle her bottom and pull her closer into his hips. "Oh yes, babe, it's going to happen. Feel how I want you." He shamelessly ground his hips into hers, and kissed up the curve of her neck, whispering his words in her ear. "I want you more than ever. I want to taste you again. I want to bury my flesh in yours until you beg for mercy."

Alice wriggled about, trying harder to escape his hold. Her voice was shaking when she finally got it out, she sounded afraid and unsure. His sudden show of physical strength had caught her unprepared. "Jasper, this is inappropriate behavior for the office. Please, stop it right now."

Jasper's lips continued to drift across her neck, his breath becoming uneven, but the tone of his voice was firm. "No. You never used to mind this kind of thing before."

"As you said, that was _before_. That was long ago, back when I was someone else. I'm not the same girl, Jasper. Can't you see that?" She was desperately trying to get Jasper to back off so that she could regroup.

He trailed his kisses up her cheek. "I do see that, believe me I do. I see that you're even more gorgeous than before." He kissed her eyelids. "Even with your puffy, red-rimmed eyes, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. You're sexier and more desirable now, too." His lips drifted to the other side, where he nipped her earlobe, making her squirm. "You're sadder and wiser, which turns me on like crazy." There was no need for him to tell her, Alice could feel exactly how turned on he was.

She reached up and put her hand on his chest and levered her elbows to push away from him. "Thanks, Jasper. You have sweet words." Then she gently but firmly pulled from his embrace. "And it was a real nice try, but you're still not getting into my panties."

"Oh, I think I'll get in them and I'll even keep them as a memento. Just bear in mind that I'm partial to the red see through ones."

Alice went to sit at her desk, needing to put a few feet of safe space between them. She had no idea what had gotten into Jasper this morning, but he was like a speeding train, barreling down the tracks, not stopping, regardless of who or what was in the way. "I don't wear hooker panties. Who have you been sleeping with lately? Porn stars?" She tried to lighten up the conversation with a little teasing.

He shook his head and smiled a wicked little grin."Let's just say that I've had plenty of time to fantasize about that sweet little body of yours. I'd love to buy some panties for you. Just say the word."

"No." She said. "The word is no." Alice turned serious eyes on him. "All kidding aside, Jasper, I'd like us to get back on a work footing. It's very flattering that you want me, but in all honesty I like what we have together. You're my employer, my mentor, and a good friend. I don't want to jeopardize that. Please let's stick to what we know works."

He came to sit on her desk, facing her. She was tempted to run around to the other side, tempted to keep a great distance between them. "I thought the affair worked very well, don't you remember? We can have that again and this time it can be even better." He suggested huskily.

Alice shook her head. "I mean it Jasper. I don't want that from you. Please let it go." Her green eyes stared at him, begging for him to stop.

Jasper could see that she was nervous, and that thrilled him, he had punctured that calm veneer. "Fine, I'll let it go for now." He got up from the desk and went to sit in the leather armchair and opened his blackberry. "Let's talk work, then. I've asked Charlotte to book you on a flight to Austin in two weeks, on April 18th or 19th . You'll meet with Burnett and start talking to local contractors. Plan to be there for at least ten days, maybe two weeks."

Alice opened her planner. "I have a meeting scheduled for the Monterey job on May 4th, should I push that back a bit or do you think I'll be back by then."

"Don't change it, you should be back, but if not Aleksandr can take that meeting. Also I spoke with my friend Phil, and he would like to meet with you next week Thursday or Friday, if that works for you."

"I can do it on Thursday, but definitely not Friday."

"Okay, we are going to meet him at a hotel in Russian River, then drive out to the site. I'm going to drive up that morning, you can drive up by yourself or I can give you a ride, it's up to you."

Was he kidding? There was no way she would accept a lift from him. A mistake such as that could be costly. "I'll drive myself, that way I can come back on my own schedule, not yours." Alice's tone was clipped.

"Suit yourself." he said, "Actually, I think that's a good idea, because, depending on the weather, I might just decide to stay up there for the weekend."

His weekend plans were none of her business, she thought to herself. She snapped her planner closed after penciling in her appointments and in a business like tone said, "Okay, is that all for now? I have a call to make and a meeting with my team in a few minutes, so if you're done, I'd like to get ready for that."

He smiled, indulgently teasing her, "Oh, Alice. When you're annoyed you tend to be abrupt, do you realize that?"

Alice frowned, puzzled by his remark. "I'm not annoyed, nor was I abrupt, why would you think that?"

Jasper got up and sauntered to the door. "You know wanted me to cajole you into riding up with me. When I didn't push it, you got miffed, didn't you? I'm sorry I didn't play along, but I really would like to get some R and R."

Alice rolled her eyes and said sarcastically, "You're so right, Jasper. You see right through me. I'm playing hard to get, hoping for more of your attention."

He gave her a smirk, "I changed my mind about what I said last night. I give your celibacy another three months, max. I see I'm getting to you." And he strolled out her door.

Alice sat at her desk and thought over the last few crazy minutes with Jasper. Then she had a good laugh, what else could she do? He had certainly brought her out of her funk, so at least he was good for comic relief.

#

The following Thursday Alice drove up to the Russian River in Mike's Mercedes, which she almost never drove. The drive was serene and for most of it she was lost in memories; the last time she had driven up to this area was when she and Mike had driven up for their honeymoon. She talked to him as she drove up, telling him how excited she was to be designing a family house and how eventually she planned to start her own small architectural design company. She told him how she hoped to talk Jasper into lending his name to it and being a partner with her, she hoped to persuade Jasper that Hale's could benefit from having a residential design affiliate. She imagined Mike's supportive response and she thanked him for it.

She pulled into the driveway of the Spa Inn and spied Jasper's porsche. He and Phil were waiting for her on the back deck. Phil Dwyer was a nice guy, he seemed quite a bit older than Jasper, and Alice wondered how on earth they could have possibly been college buddies. Phil explained that he had spent eight years in the air force before he decided to go back to college. He met Jasper in grad school.

They toured the site, which had a run-down clapboard house on it and plenty of overgrown vegetation. Jasper immediately asked Phil to arrange for clearing some of the brush, not only so they could get a better look at the lay of the land, but also to cut down on the fire hazard it presented. Phil agreed to do it at once and Alice started asking Phil more pointed questions about what his vision was. She came away with a feeling that Phil was looking for something masculine and rustic, yet with modern amenities. She immediately had ideas which would capture the redwoods that surrounded the site. She wanted to use plenty of river rocks and glass to let in the light. When they returned to the hotel dining room Alice sketched a few ideas as Phil and Jasper drank and talked. She was just showing them some of her ideas when they were joined by Phil's stepson Dave. He was a good looking kid with short sandy blond hair, sweet light brown eyes.

Phil introduced them. "Alice this is my son Dave. I've convinced Jasper to hire him as an intern. Dave just graduated from UCLA with a degree in psychology and he is trying to figure what to do next."

Alice shook hands with him and he blushed. "So you think you want to try architecture? How does that jive with psychology?

"I don't think it does. But I didn't listen to Dad's advice when I majored in psychology, now I'm stuck with it." He pulled up a chair and sat between Jasper and Alice.

As Phil and Jasper resumed their conversation, she asked him, "I suppose you've ixnayed the idea of social work, or counseling?"

"Yeah. I don't think that's what I want to do. At least not right now. I was hoping to have some hands on experience in a company and then eventually apply to an MBA program."

"Interesting. Well, welcome aboard. I'm sure you'll like working with Jasper."

"I don't think I'll be working too closely with him. Dad's asked him to start me in the mailroom he's a big believer in starting from the ground up."

"Well, there's nothing wrong with that. I started in the mailroom of an architectural firm in New York. You get to know who's who. And when you make it out of there you usually know the company from the ground up."

"Yeah, well. I know beggars can't be choosers. I'll take what I can get.

They talked some more and by the time Alice got back to showing her sketches to Phil and Jasper, Dave was completely smitten. He complimented all her designs and gazed at her as though the sun shone out of her. Jasper and Phil were amused, and could barely hide their smirks.

At six o'clock the meeting came to an end. Phil agreed on another meeting at the beginning of the following month, agreeing that she and Jasper would work out design ideas and they would make a formal presentation. Alice gathered her portfolio, feeling equally excited and exhausted.

They all enjoyed a lovely dinner together at Phil's insistence; Alice chose the shiraz to go with the lamb shanks and it was just the thing to soothe her. By the end of the meal she was wishing that she didn't have the ninety minute drive back to Berkeley. Alice felt envious of Jasper and Phil, they looked so settled and relaxed that she wanted to kick back and look forward to a comfy night at the hotel too. The hotel boasted a full service spa with sauna and massage, and Alice was close to deciding on making use of those services and staying the night when Dave piped up.

"Alice, I was wondering if I could beg a ride into the city. I was intending to stay, but since you're going back, I prefer to get back and do a few errands tomorrow." He flushed, obviously unsure as to how she would answer.

But Alice gratefully latched onto the suggestion. Her slumping shoulders lifted and she felt a little burst of energy. "Sure. I could use the company, it'll keep me awake. To tell the truth, I was a little afraid of heading back alone, I'm really tired. Maybe I could persuade you to do a little driving…?"

"I'll do the entire drive, in exchange for the lift, how's that?" he offered.

"It's a deal." She smiled up at him.

Jasper watched the back and forth, and he was a little on edge and getting antsier. "Alice, can I talk to you for a few minutes before you go?" he turned to Phil, "Scuse us will you? This is about a meeting with another client." Jasper led Alice away from the other two men.

"Alice, I think you should stay here tonight."

"Pardon?"

"I said, stay the night. Here. With me."

"Are you crazy? I'm not staying with you." Suddenly everything became clear and she saw his devious little plan. "So, this was what you planned. This is what you meant by a little "R and R"?

"No, I didn't plan anything. And it was a slip of the tongue when I asked you to stay with me." He reached both hands up to rub her arms and then her shoulders. "But you do look tired and I am worried about you driving all that way back; I don't know how safe a driver this kid is. It's getting dark and I think you should stay here and leave in the morning."

"I can't Jasper. It did cross my mind earlier, because I am tired; but I have things to do tomorrow.

"Things can wait, Alice, nothing is more important than safety. You drove here, put in a full day's work and now you're going to drive back on unfamiliar roads in the dark. It's not safe."

"It's safe enough. It's a highway, for pete's sake, not a dirt road in the backwoods. And, anyway, what I have to do can't wait. Tomorrow is Mike's birthday, and I planned to spend it with Mike's aunt Patty and Bella. We're going to church, and then we're going to his hospital and taking flowers for the nurses and toys for the kids. And I'm donating a flat screen TV for the family waiting room. After that I'm meeting with a real estate agent. There's a possibility that I might be able to buy a six-plex near the hospital. I'm hoping to convert it into a place for patient's families to stay. So, you see, there is no way that "it can wait", Jasper."

"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you include me?" he asked her.

She was more than a little surprised at his question. "Why should I have, Jasper? You weren't a part of our lives, you met Mike once. You saw us at my mother's memorial service and you barely said anything but hello."

"What did you expect Alice? That I would introduce myself to your new man and buddy up to him? It would have been awkward for all of us, mostly me. That doesn't mean that I don't want to help you now."

"Jasper, this is for Mike, not you."

"This isn't for Mike and you know it. You're doing this for you, so you can feel useful and connected to him and his world. And that's wonderful, it really is and I'm proud of you. All I'm saying is that I can help, if you like; with donations, with the new building with fund-raising. "

"Thanks Jasper, but no thanks."

"Alice, we're friends aren't we? Why won't you let me in?"

"We are friends, but when it comes to this I really don't want you involved. This is too personal. Plus you've made it clear that you're trying to get into my bed again, so I have to keep a distance. I don't want to give you any reason to believe that there is even the slightest chance that you and I can ever be lovers again."

"I don't need any hints from you to know that we will be lovers again, because I know we will be. And if you think I'm delusional, let that be my problem. But in terms of your charity work, I'd like to be there for you. Just like any friend would be."

"Sorry, no can do, Jasper. It wouldn't feel right."

"So as a friend I can be there for you, excluding anything to do with Mike? Have I got it right?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Why?"

"I told you it's too personal."

"Nope, that's not why. It's because you would feel guilty."

"Maybe that's a part of it too."

"There's no maybe about it. Alice, did you ever tell him about us?" Jasper asked suddenly.

Alice was silent and her gaze dropped from his.

"I knew it! You didn't. And you feel guilty because of it."

"I do feel guilty. I didn't know how to tell him, and then it was too late."

"You didn't tell him because of how you felt about me, how you still feel about me. You still care about me as more than just a friend."

"I never said that." Alice gasped loudly.

"You didn't have to."

"Whatever, Jasper. You'll twist anything, to suit your crazy theories, but that doesn't make it so. It's getting late and I've got to go."

"Running away again, Alice?" he accused her. She pursed her lips and turned to leave, but he held onto her arm. "Just one more thing."

"What?"

"Don't mess with Dave."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I mean. Don't. Mess. With. Dave. Don't flirt, don't lead him on. He's a kid."

"I would never…" she spluttered.

"Yes you would." he insisted.

"No I wouldn't, ever. What kind of woman do you take me for?"

"You're a sexy, flirtatious woman, you can't help it. That's just who you are. But _he_ might take it the wrong way."

"Kiss my ass, Jasper." She gritted out between clenched teeth.

And Alice tore her arm out of his grasp and returned to the table. _He had some nerve. Who the hell does he think he is? Questioning my morals, warning me off a kid. As if I would ever._

#

The next week Dave proved to be a little annoying. His first day on the job, he stopped by Alice's office at least five times. By the end of the first week he was stopping by even more often. Jasper was there when Dave poked his head in "just to say hi again" for the hundredth time. After he poked his head back out, Jasper said, "I told you so."

"You told me what? I haven't done a thing to encourage him. Don't be ridiculous."

Jasper shook his head. "Alice, maybe you are not aware of it but even a smile from you can encourage a guy, and you were a lot warmer to Dave than that."

"Well, I _was_ nice to him when we met at the hotel, but I had no idea he would be working here, then. Since then I have only been polite."

Jasper shook his head and tut-tutted which made Alice's blood boil.

"Okay fine, I'll have a talk with him, let him down gently. Maybe take him to lunch." She said.

It was Jasper's turn to boil. "Are you being deliberately obtuse? Don't spend one on one time with him at all. That will only make it worse."

"Well, what do you suggest I do?"

"Make up a boyfriend. Tell him you're seeing someone already." He gave her a sly smile. "Tell him that you're seeing me."

Alice was dumbfounded by his suggestion, and she rolled her eyes dismissively. "That would be priceless. We hid our affair when we were having one, now I'm supposed to broadcast a relationship that we don't even have. Do you realize how ridiculous you sound?"

"It was just a thought." Jasper smiled.

"Well it was a very bad one." Alice scowled at him, feeling that he had something up his sleeve.

#

Despite Jasper's warning, Alice did take Dave out to lunch at the sandwich shop down the street. She needed to make it clear to him, without making him feel bad.

"So, Dave, how are you liking the mailroom?"

"It's been okay, but from what I understand I'll only be there for a month, then I'll head to IT." He said as he took a big bite of his falafel.

"I bet you're looking forward to that, huh?" Alice questioned, munching happily on her curried chicken salad sandwich.

"Yeah, I guess so. But to tell you the truth Alice, I'm thinking that I'd like to work more closely with the architects."

"Well, maybe that'll come down the line."

He nodded. "Jasper said that if I show myself to be a hard worker, he'd be willing to take me to a pitch meeting and then to a few sites to see the work in progress."

"Oh really? That was really nice of him to offer."

"Well, I kind of asked him if I could be in on some of the meetings you guys will have about our house. I want to see it from the ground up. Actually I'd like to see how you come up with the ideas and do the 3D models and the computer graphics."

"Well, I can't show you how I come up with the ideas, they just come to me, you know? But I don't mind if you want to sit in on the rest."

"Great, Alice. Thanks a lot, I was hoping that you would say that."

"No problem. Why the interest? Have you always been interested in architecture?"

"Not really. I was thinking of going into real estate, eventually."

"Yeah?"

"Yep."

"So no MBA program?"

"Nope."

"Is that a recent decision?"

"Kinda."

"What brought it on?"

He shrugged. "I want to start on a career, I don't want to go back to school right now. Been there, done that."

"Do you think it's wise to go into real estate now? When the housing market is so soft?"

"Well, you guys are busy, designing and building, it doesn't seem soft to me."

"But this is different. People who approach us have money and a need. Buying and selling existing residential properties is much different."

"Well, maybe by the time I'm licensed the market will be picking back up. I'll have a head start. Plus I like S.F. and I want to stay here. I don't want to go back to SoCal." And he gave her a suggestive look.

_Hmmmm._ Alice guessed that she had to come right out and say it.

"Dave, maybe you don't know this, but I'm a widow."

"You are?"

"Yes. My husband died a year and a half ago."

"Oh, man. I'm sorry. You don't have a kid, do you?"

Alice swallowed, the lump that suddenly materialized in her throat. It was still painful for her to think about her baby; had things been different, he or she would be turning one soon. She shook her head and softly said, "No." But his question gave her the determination to be straightforward.

"Dave, I don't date, at all. I have no desire to be in another relationship."

"By 'date' what do you mean? You don't even go out to dinner?"

"Well, I brought you out to lunch, so I do. What I meant is I have friends and that's it. If I feel someone is interested in anything more, I tell them no and if they continue, I end the friendship."

"Isn't that a little harsh?"

"Maybe so. But I don't really need the headache."

"So, you're telling me that I don't have a chance."

"Right. We can be friends only."

"Okay."

"Thanks for understanding." She reached over and patted his hand, and they continued to eat in silence.

"You're kinda young to be a widow, aren't you? How did your husband die?"

She swallowed another big lump. "I'll tell you some other time, Dave. I'm sorry but I'm a little emotional today." she answered.

He nodded in understanding. Again they ate in silence for a bit. "So, Alice, do you have a sister?"

She burst out in a loud guffaw, amused at how quickly Dave had moved on. "As a matter of fact I do have a sister. She's a gorgeous belly dancer. And she's a year younger than you." Alice scrolled through her phone and found a picture of Bella, and passed it to Dave. "Here is a good close up."

"Yeah, she looks nice."

"Pssh. Nice? You know she's more than nice." She scrolled through again and found a picture of Bella on the back deck with Chris. "And this is her and her ex."

"Ex, huh? Is she seeing anyone now?"

"Not as far as I know. She's still getting over the break up. They were together for three years."

"So, maybe like you, she's not really interested?"

"Maybe, I haven't asked her. But I can, if you want."

"Yeah, ask her."

And just like that, the problem of Dave was solved.

#

Alice flew to Austin, planning to spend two weeks there. But there were problems. The inspectors found hazardous material on the site and it had to be removed according to the state standards. The clean-up would postpone the groundbreaking by at least a month.

She managed to use the first week in Austin to establish contacts with the construction company and various sub-contractors, but she called Jasper and explained that she should probably return to San Francisco early and come back out to Austin when the clean-up was completed and meet with the inspectors then. Jasper agreed and told her to call Charlotte to schedule her return flight.

On her last night in Austin, Alice met up at the hotel bar with a few of the guys from the construction company and laughed and flirted a lot. She returned to her hotel room and ordered a bottle of merlot, for some reason she felt the need to dull the pain that was just beneath the surface.

That night she dreamt about the foot bridge and the bird nest again. But it was a much scarier dream this time around. She was stuck in the giant nest and she saw Mike above her and she screamed out for him to rescue her, but he couldn't hear her. She knew the bird was coming and she was crying and terrified and calling up to Mike, but he shimmered and morphed into an angel and flew away.

Alice jerked awake, sweating profusely; then suddenly she sat up in her hotel bed. Her first thought was relief that it had only been a dream and then her heart became heavy with sorrow and broke all over again. For the few seconds in her dream, when she had looked up and seen Mike, she had totally forgotten that he was dead. And for a millisecond after she had woken up, she wanted to tap his shoulder and wake him so he could hold her. But he wasn't there. Alice rolled over and cried into her pillow.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fourteen

Alice woke up the following morning feeling like a piece of what the cat dragged in. She blamed her horrible nightmare on the unfamiliarity of her surroundings and couldn't wait to get back home to her bed and the comfort of her bedroom and Mike's things. Unfortunately, Alice's non-stop flight back to SFO was cancelled; unusually bad weather back on the east coast meant that flights were backed up. The only flight available was one to Las Vegas with a connecting flight to San Jose. She booked herself on the flight and called her sister to pick her up at the airport.

On the Las Vegas flight she struck up a conversation with her neighbor, a big guy with a friendly face. After chit-chatting for a bit they discovered that they both lived in Berkeley, within blocks of each other.

"So, Emmett, what is it that you do in Berkeley?"

"Oh, I'm an assistant professor in the school of computer engineering at CAL."

"My father was an assistant professor of structural engineering before he died."

"What was his name? Maybe I knew him."

"No, he died twenty years ago." The tone of her voice was wistful. "It's been a long time."

"And what is it that you do in Berkeley? Not an engineer, like dad?"

"No, but close. I'm an architect. I work for a firm in San Francisco."

"Hey. My brother-in-law, Jasper, owns an architectural firm in the city. Hale Designs. Have you heard of them? I think they're pretty well-known."

Alice dragged in some air. So Jasper had family after all. "Yes. As a matter of fact I work for Hale. I work rather closely with Jasper."

"Wow. Small world, huh?"

"Yep, small world. I had no idea Jasper had family in the Bay Area. I thought his family was in Texas or Colorado or somewhere around there."

"Well, we just moved to California a couple years ago, when I got the position at CAL. Rosie and I moved here from Boston, where I went to school. One of the reasons I applied for the job is because Rosie missed her brother so much. He's all she has now."

"Oh." What did that mean? Did Jasper's father pass away recently? Alice vaguely remembered him mentioning that his father had been a judge in San Francisco, and had retired.

"I thought Jasper's father was a retired judge, living in Colorado. I didn't realize that he had passed away. I'm sorry to hear that."

"No, no, He hasn't passed away. He's still alive, but I hate to say it, he probably doesn't have much longer. He's had Alzheimer's for a while. That's why Rosie wanted to be near her big brother, for support."

"Oh my gosh. I didn't mean to pry."

Emmett shrugged, "It's not a secret."

"You don't know your brother-in-law. Everything is a secret."

"He seems pretty open to me. He's a pretty cool guy. Laid back, you know, not too worried about too many things. He's nothing like Rosie. Rosie is the opposite of laid back, she's wound up so tight, it's hard to get much out of her; which is why I'm so glad we're living near her brother and she's back where she has friends."

Alice was floored by his description of Jasper. Jasper? Open and laid back? Huh?

"Are you sure that you're talking about Jasper W. Hale of Hale Designs? About six feet two with curly blond locks and blue eyes? Because the person you're describing sounds nothing like him."

"Yep. I'm sure. You must be pretty close to him."

"What makes you say so?"

"Because I think I know what's going on. Rosie does that, she keeps things to herself. She talks to her brother and unloads on him. I suspect that's what you've encountered with Jasper. He keeps things from you. He bottles it all up, he probably doesn't talk too much about himself. Am I right?"

"Yeah, so your Jasper _is_ my Jasper."

"I guess he's more like Rosie than I thought. The hardest thing when Rosie and I met was getting her to open up to me. We clicked right away, but it was so hard to get to the meat of her. She let me talk my ass off, but she seldom talked about herself. I got very little out of her. As time went on she changed, but not much. Even now, after marriage and two kids, I sometimes think Jasper knows her better than I do."

"So they're close."

He nodded. "Very. I think if he didn't like me, there was no way she would have married me. He had to give his approval."

"You're kidding? Right?"

"Well, maybe, I'm exaggerating a little." He laughed and shook his head. "She fell for me, just like I fell for her, go figure. If you asked me about love at first sight before I met Rosie, I would have laughed in your face. But the moment I saw her, I knew. I just knew, that I was meant for her, she was who would make my world complete."

"Oh. That's so sweet." Alice felt warm all over. Here was this brute of a guy, six three and wide as a train, confessing the most tender feelings for his wife to a virtual stranger, she took to Emmett and a friendship was formed in that moment."I know what you mean. I fell for my husband the instant I saw him."

Emmett's face fell. "Oh, I didn't know you're married. I thought…you ..and… Ignore me. You know what? I do talk too much."

"I was married. My husband died eighteen months ago." Something about Emmett made Alice want to keep talking.

"I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds as though you were really in love."

Alice blinked back her tears. "Am." She corrected. "I still am in love with him. Love is stronger than death. Don't you know that, Mr- love- at- first- sight?" She teased.

"I believe it is. But I also believe in more than one love. I had the most wonderful stepmother. She married my dad and me. She insisted that me, eight year old Emmett, who was still missing his mother, stand at the altar. And she promised to love and cherish me too. And she did. She made my dad and me whole again. I think she's the reason why I believe in love so strongly."

"I believe in love too. My parents had it, and I did too."

"Maybe, you'll get a second chance."

She shook her head. "I don't think so."

"Never say never." Emmett responded.

Alice saw an opening to change the subject and grabbed it with both hands. "Isn't that the name of a Bond movie?"

"Yeah, that's where I get most of my answers to life's big questions." He answered.

She laughed. "Bond movies or movies in general?"

"Movies in general. But not sappy chick flicks, I keep telling Rosie, those have no moral lessons. Now action movies, those have all the answers."

"Really? Such as..?"

"Well, such as _Spiderman_. "With great power comes great responsibility." Truer words were never spoken."

"Well how about "Love means never having to say you're sorry."

"Well a) that's bullshit. You better say you're sorry, or no lovin's gonna happen and b) what stupid movie is that from?"

"_Love Story_ a classic, baby, a classic. Come up with something better than that, bub."

"That wasn't even good. But how about this, "Nevah go against the family." He gasped out in a gravelly voice.

"Nevah heard of it."

"You're kidding, right? That's from _The Godfather_. The real, real classic."

"Pssh, man flick. How about this one?" She said through gritted teeth. "It wasn't over. It still isn't over." When Emmett looked confused, she said, "It's from _The Notebook_."

"Okay now Alice. You're scraping the bottom of the barrel. I have no idea why you think that's a quote about life."

"Oh, I forgot that's what we were doing." She snorted at herself. "How about "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know which one you're gonna git."

"That's not a quote about life. It's a quote about confusion. How about this one? "Much to learn, you still have."

"The one and only Yoda?" Alice guessed.

"Indeed my Padawan. Indeed, well you have learned from me, Alice." He nodded his approval and she giggled.

How about, "Oh yes the past can hurt. But you can either run from it or learn from it." That's my all time favorite."

"Aahh, _The Lion King_. I love it too. It's perfect."

"I know. Rafiki is my yogi." She smiled at him.

"Or as Yoda would say, "My yogi Rafiki is." Alice looked at him and burst out laughing. Emmett joined in. And they laughed and talked like best friends until they landed in San Jose.

Bella picked them up at San Jose and they gave Emmett a ride home. Alice couldn't wait to get back to the office and quiz Jasper about his family. She wondered how forthcoming he'd be.

#

Alice didn't see Jasper until the end of the following day. He was getting off the elevator just as she was getting on. Maria Blake and Rick York were right behind and all three appeared to be in a deep discussion about a new client. Alice couldn't wait to talk to him about her interesting run-in with Emmett and so she interrupted the little trio. "Excuse me Jasper, but when you get a chance, there is something important I'd like to discuss with you. I'll be here for another half hour."

He nodded. "Give me a few minutes and I'll meet you in your office." The three of them walked towards his door.

Alice turned around and walked down the hall to her office. She almost did a little jig. Why did she feel so giddy just because she had managed to get some new piece of info about him? She asked herself. One would think that she was interested or something. Twenty minutes later, Jasper came through her door, looking vital, prowling, like a caged cat. She'd seen him look this way before, when he had a big pitch lined up. It was like an elixir, giving him boundless energy. _How does he do it?_ She asked herself. _By the end of the day I'm shot, but Jasper seems as though he could go on for hours._

She didn't beat around the bush. "Jasper, I met your brother-in-law yesterday, on my flight back from Austin."

He blinked a couple times, and shook his head, almost as if he wasn't quite sure who she was talking about.

She continued. "Emmett McCarty? Professor of Engineering? At CAL?" she reminded him.

"Yes, I know who my brother-in-law is. Alice. What I don't understand is why this was important enough to interrupt my meeting with Rick and Maria."

Alice spluttered. "You have family. You have never mentioned."

"So?"

"I ran into one of them and told him I work for you. And we sat next to each other and talked for a long time on the plane."

"And?"

"And I just thought I should tell you. If Emmett ever mentions it, it won't come as a surprise. I told you."

"Okay."

She was silent and so was he. Her brows knitted together.

"Is that all, Alice? Do you need to discuss anything else? Are there any problems on a project or anything like that?"

She shook her head. "No."

"Okay, then. I need to get back."

He left and she sank into her chair. _What. The. Fuck?_ That was a let down. _Man, that was weird. _Alice's mind ran around in hapless circles like a hamster on its wheel thingy. "Emmett was wrong. Jasper was not laid back nor easy going." She muttered to herself. There was a giant brick wall around that guy, and Alice felt stupid that she had ever forgotten that.

#

The month in San Francisco flew by, Alice was busy with so many projects. She and Jasper drove up to Sonoma to meet with Phil and he loved her design. The land was not too level, as a matter of fact it sloped down to a creek and the terrain was quite rocky. Alice designed a house that would be built on stilts, The stilts were in fact massive tree trunks. There would be extra steel supports jutting from the side of the hill. But what was spectacular was that the house would be built high enough to be shielded for privacy by the surrounding redwoods. From the roadside, access would be easy, the driveway would be camouflaged by shrub and smaller trees; but from the creek side, it would be like a large tree house, surging thirty feet into the forest canopy, the views would be magnificent .

It would be environmentally friendly because of its wide use of recycled and reused material; not only would the stilts be recycled material, but so would most of the house. Liberal use of river rock for the interior walls and fireplaces, recycled lumber for beams and bamboo flooring that was renewable, in addition the salvaged clawfoot tubs and sinks she planned to use, meant that this home would have a small carbon footprint. A sheer uninterrupted glass wall that faced south would let in plenty of light and provide daytime heat, and the solar panels would provide for all additional energy needs. Alice even incorporated an elevator into the design. She loved her vision and her presentation was so passionate that Phil almost jumped out of his seat with excitement when she was done. It was obvious she put everything she had into the design and she was thrilled, when Phil said that he loved it too.

Jasper took Alice and Phil out to lunch and after Phil left, Alice spoke with Jasper about her desire to start an architectural design firm which specialized in "green home" designs. Jasper was non-committal, but asked her to develop a business plan which he would look at and give her an honest opinion about. Alice was not too hopeful, but agreed to come up with a plan in the coming months.

#

Alice left for Austin again in mid-May. The first week was hard, but by the following week everything was falling into place with the construction company and the various contractors; so it surprised Alice when Jasper arrived in Austin at the end of the second week.

Unfortunately he arrived just as she was talking with Riley Biers, the foreman from the contracting company. Riley was a nice guy, with a great sense of humor and a lot of Texas twang. He had broken the ice with Alice earlier in the week by introducing her around as his "kin" from California. He was open and kind with laughing brown eyes and Alice like him instantly. He had even invited her to lunch the day before, she had declined due to a meeting.

But today was Friday and the end of a long hard week and she was more than ready for a little fun, so she laughed and chatted him up. Jasper had just driven up to the site in his rental truck and spotted Alice and her crazy curls talking to the helmeted workman. He was way across the site, but even from that far way he could pick up on her body language; he saw that she was flirting with the tall Texan and his blood boiled. What the fuck did she think she was doing? He made a beeline to her side. Alice, unaware of Jasper's advent, was having a fine old time mixing a little business with a lot of pleasure. Her laughter pealed out across the yards that separated her from Jasper's advancing figure. Alice stood there smiling up at the tall Texan. Riley had just offered to take Alice out the following afternoon and evening to 'paint the town red', and Alice had accepted. It was no wonder she jumped at the sound of her name when Jasper uttered it from right behind her.

"Alice. How is everything coming along?"

Alice turned sharply and almost stumbled over a rock. He held her steady and she looked up into his blue eyes.

"Jasper. What a surprise. What on earth are you doing here?"

"Meeting." His voice was clipped as he extended his hand to Riley. "Jasper Hale. You work for Woodward Construction I gather."

"Yeah. Riley Biers, demolition." Riley shook Jasper's hand and the two men sized each other up. Alice detected strange vibes and she noticed neither man smiled.

Jasper finally spoke. "Right. Well, I'll have to drag Alice away for a couple hours or so."

"Fine." Riley turned to Alice, his voice warming. "Well, Alice if I don't see you later on, have a good evening. I'll pick you up tomorrow at the hotel, let's say about three?"

Alice smiled and nodded. "Three it is. Bye, Riley."

As they walked away from Riley, Alice could feel the anger coming off Jasper in waves. He didn't say anything until they had almost reached his rental SUV.

"Well, well it looks as though all is going according to plan. I met with Jim Woodward and things are ready to move ahead next week. And it looks as though you're getting along very nicely." His words were innocent enough but his tone was almost accusatory.

"Are you checking up on me?" she asked, annoyed.

He stopped suddenly and turned to her, and she almost bumped into him. He crossed his arms over his chest. "Yes, I am. Did you think I wouldn't be involved on a project as big as this one, Alice? It's the first time you're lead architect on an out of state build, I just wanted to make sure all was going well."

"You could have called and asked, you know." Alice was more than a little suspicious that Jasper was not only checking up on the project, but on her, personally.

"Yes, I could have, but guess what? I didn't." Oh yeah, he was mad alright. It was unlike him to be so belligerent.

"Why show up on a Friday afternoon? Hmm? There's nothing going on this weekend, you know."

Jasper's voice was a low growl, "Well, that's where you're wrong. I have a meeting with Burnett and the owner of the construction company for dinner tonight. Deals are done, after hours, all the time. Tomorrow, we'll meet at the job site with construction and contractors as well as members of the board. Then we're invited to an old-fashioned Texas BBQ, courtesy of your eighty year old admirer.

"Why didn't you tell me this before? I already made plans for the weekend." She complained.

"Well, unmake them." His eyes narrowed as he squinted and his lips were a hard thin line. But Alice was not even slightly intimidated. Instead she returned her own murderous look.

_If only looks could kill_, she thought, _he'd be dead_. "I guess I don't have a choice, do I?"

"No you don't. And may I remind you that you should not be flirting on the job. Alice, our reputation is everything. You need to be completely direct and professional."

That ruffled her feathers like nothing else he could have said "I don't remember you complaining when I flirted with _you._" She jabbed him in the forearm that was folded against his chest. "And I _am_ very professional. I resent you implying otherwise. My time off is my own and I can go out for lunch or dinner with anyone I choose." Her chin rose and her eyes flashed as she stared him down.

Jasper unfolded his arms from his chest and clenched his fists and teeth. Alice had never seen Jasper's eyes so stormy. They were no longer cobalt, they were a dark navy. Through his teeth he spat out, "No. It. Is. Not. You're time is Hale's time and you will not date any client, architect, contractor, carpenter, plumber, jimbo or bubba. Got that?"

"NO! I don't got that!" She yelled back, bristling at his high handed attitude. "Is that a new company rule, Jasper? Hmm? Drawn up in the last few days? Cause I have never, _ever_ seen it written anywhere. Maybe you should tell your Senior VP, Raymond Grice, who is dating one of the Bergen Stores' managers. Or maybe you should inform…"

"This rule applies only to you Alice."

"Who the fuck do you think..."

Jasper pulled her into his arms and kissed her. At first she resisted and fought with him, trying to arch away, but he wrapped one arm tightly around her back, just under her shoulder blades and try as she might, she couldn't wedge her arm in between them. He dug the other hand into her hair to hold her head still as he forced her lips open with his own. The hot smell of his skin and the seductive feel of his lips moving on hers, oh so desperately seeking a response, was her undoing and Alice opened her mouth and kissed him back.

She kissed him back as passionately as he was kissing her and he did not relinquish his hold on her body or on her lips as he walked with her the two or three steps to his rental SUV. Alice felt the warm metal of the passenger door on her back as Jasper pushed into her soft body and ground his hips into hers.

His mouth was doing wicked things to her. The tip of his tongue stroked hers and each time she tried to meet it he moved away, her tongue always seeking and his always a millimeter out of reach. She slid one hand into his hair and tugged hard. Finally he touched her tongue with his, and it ignited a fire deep down, there, between the bones of her hips. Their tongues stroked and licked and laved and Alice's thoughts flashed back to the many times Jasper had stoked the fire between her legs with his talented tongue. A fire she hadn't felt for many months and her thighs clenched together as she trembled in response.

Suddenly she became aware of what they were doing, out in the open where any one of the construction workers from the job site could see. Mortified, she tore her mouth from his, and ducked her head into his shirt when he tried to recapture her lips. "Jasper, Jasper. We can't do this." Her voice was breathy, as if she'd run a mile.

His right hand cupped her chin and he pulled her face up to his. The words he whispered against her lips were erotic in the extreme. "We can and we will, Alice. In less than twenty minutes you'll be back in my bed, where you belong. And you will open for me and welcome me and give me what I've dreamed of every night since you left me two years, four months and three days ago. And we'll make love until we are so exhausted that we will fall asleep, me still inside of you. And I will never, ever let you go again. Ever."

With each whispered word Jasper awakened Alice's long dormant desire and by the time the last word was uttered Alice felt all her heat gather in that one glorious nub that throbbed with excrutiating need.

"Let's go." He opened the door for her, and without hesitation she climbed into the passenger seat. Her calm façade hid a multitude of emotions. Inside her head jumbled thoughts were each tumbling, one on top of the other. The paramount ones however, were _"What the hell am I doing? Why am I doing this?"_ followed by _"I can't stop this, even if I wanted to, and I don't want to."_ And then _"I want Jasper. I want him to fuck me hard and make me feel good again." _She imagined the things he would do to her and she squeezed her thighs together, tightening in anticipation. She sat next to him, trying to make sense of the need raging through her. All the while Alice's heart raced as the blood pounded through her veins.

Jasper's racing thoughts roughly mirrored Alice's; however, his two paramount thoughts were _"I've got her back."_ closely followed by_ "How long before she tries to leave me again?" _Knowing his hold on her was tenuous at best, he could not risk letting her go, not even for a minute. He held her hand in his as she sat in stunned silence next to him while he drove to the hotel, which was thankfully, just a short distance away. Once there, he leapt out of the car and handed his keys to the valet as he reached for her hand again; clasping it in his, palm to palm, fingers entwined and led her to the elevator.

As they rode the elevator up to the room, Alice finally looked into his face. It was the face of a man barely holding on to his control. His face was hard, harder than she had ever seen it. His jaw was set and his eyes were on her face; watchful, wary, determined, and oh so different. Something in that face caused Alice a frisson of fear and for a split second she tried to remove her hand from his. "Oh no you don't." he muttered. His grip on her tightened and he moved in for the kill pushing her into a corner of the elevator and kissing her hard. As he felt her lips move hungrily against his, his groan filled her mouth and he dragged her hips to his, crushing her soft body against his hard erection.

"Feel me, Alice. I want you so much, too fucking much. You're a fever in my blood, you've taken over my life; I can't look at you without wanting you, and you want me too. You know you do." The elevator pinged at their floor and he moved swiftly and purposefully, Alice trotting along on her grey peep-toes in order to keep up with his long strides as he dragged her by his side.

The key card unlocked the door and Jasper drew her inside. Before she even got a glimpse of the sitting room, Jasper had locked the door and thrown his key card on the table. Lightning swift movements and Alice felt herself swung up into his arms, held fast against his chest and carried through the French doors which led into the bedroom.

#

Literally, moments later, Alice found herself sitting on the edge of the king-sized bed, stripped of her charcoal linen shift and her silky silver panties. She still had on her silver demi-bra and her grey heels. Jasper was shirtless, kneeling between her thighs, spreading her wide. "Open for me, sweetness. Give me your sweet, sweet pussy." He rubbed the tip of his nose against her clit, again and again. "Oh Babe, you smell just as good as I remember." And with his tongue retraced the path he had taken many times before. Sensation piled on sensation and turned her spine to liquid warmth, she melted back onto the coverlet, closing her eyes and helplessly giving in to it. His tongue tasted her sweetness, sucked her petal soft folds and licked up over her stiff nub. Her little red nub stood at attention, as his fingers gently pulled back her hood, she shrieked and lifted her hips to his face. Alice's fingers snaked through his blond hair and held him fast as he brought her to a gloriously, swift release.

As her shuddering lessened, he rose up and unzipped his pants. His feet on the floor and his knees propped against the side of the bed, he leaned over her on one arm as he guided his cock into her with his other hand. He paused to kiss her and with their warm breaths mingling, he made one hard thrust and sheathed himself to the hilt. "Oh, yes, baby." He groaned out. "You feel good. So fucking good."

His heart crashed against his ribs and he stilled, only then realizing that in his haste he had forgotten the condom. But nothing short of death would make him pull out now.

So he kissed her deeply and pulled slowly back and then thrust into her again. He started slow, but in minutes their bodies went wildly out of control. The headboard banged and Alice moaned and cried out his name over and over. Grinding into her at the end of each successive thrust, he groaned his joy. Her pussy was warm and wet and he fought hard not to come until she had her release. Alice moved up to meet each thrust and pulled every bit of him back into her hot sweet cunt. Jasper felt as though he was being consumed by her. When he felt her tight spasms close around him and her body arch back in ecstasy, he let himself go. His hips rocked and pulsed until he felt his soul drain from his body into hers.

He came to rest on her body and it felt just like heaven, so soft and so welcoming and warm. Alice's nails still bit into his arms as they both fought for air.

"Alice," he groaned, "I didn't use a condom."

"I know." She whispered quietly and then she covered her eyes with both arms.

"I'm safe. I haven't had sex with anyone for two years. I had a routine test a year ago. Don't worry, I'm fine. I know you haven't had sex either so we're okay. Are you on any contraceptive?"

She sighed heavily, "No."

They were both quiet. Jasper's mind skated around the thought of Alice being pregnant with his baby. He felt the simultaneous thrill of excitement and the thud of fear.

"My period is due in a couple days. I should be fine." Alice sighed out again as she removed her arms. She felt beyond exhausted.

Just like that, Jasper's excitement and fear fizzled and a strange sadness took its place in his heart. _I want her to want my baby. _Unbidden those words strayed through his mind and he stiffened in her arms.

Alice pushed him away and tried to get up. He held her down with one leg and his arm over her waist. "Where do you think you're going?

"My room…"

"Unh Unh. You're staying right here in this bed. I meant what I said. I'm not letting you go again, ever." He gathered her close for a deep kiss.

She pulled her lips from his, and her words were breathy as she tried to fight her way out of his tightening embrace. "Please stop this Jasper. You got what you wanted…"

"No I haven't got it yet. I don't have you warm and willing and sleeping beside me." He reared up above her and straddled her body, holding her trapped under him, both of his knees pressed against her outer thighs, both hands next to her shoulders .

"You got sex. It's what you've been after." She hissed as she glared up at him in anger.

"So did you. And it was good, wasn't it?"

"So what? You want to hear what a stud you are? You need me to stroke your ego?"

Jasper bit the side of her jaw just under her ear and whispered, "No, babe. I'll do the stroking." And he reached down to touch the still sensitive flesh of her clit.

"Oh god, oh god," Alice groaned feeling her anger drain away and a fierce need taking its place. _What's wrong with me, why can't I resist him?_

"Mmm, isn't this better than fighting me?" He breathed into her mouth, as he continued to stoke his long finger over her slick silky folds. Reaching a little higher to press on her little red button, each time he did, he heard her mewl with pleasure.

Alice moaned, she was starting to move her hips in time with his hand. "Jasper..."

"What is it Alice? What do you want? Tell me." He dared her, still caressing, his fingers wet with her dew.

The breath dragged out of her as she moaned, "You."

Jasper groaned and covered her mouth with his in a searing kiss. He reached between her breasts and unhooked the silver bra, and the bent to lick her tight nipples. "Alice, I missed these, so much. My candy, my delicious red hots." And he sucked the red bud into his hot mouth. Sucking, nibbling and licking them until Alice begged for him.

"Jasper, I need you in me." She wrapped her soft fingers around his hard cock, bringing him closer and closer to her heated center.

He stiffened his hips, wanting her body, but wanting her acquiescence even more. "There'll be no regrets?"

She shook her head."None."

"And you'll sleep with me? Stay the night?"

"Yes, yes. Please, Jasper. Just shut up and fuck me or fuck me and shut up."

He groaned as he slipped his naked cock into her slick folds once more, "Oh, baby. You feel so fucking good; I never want to pull out."

And he started again, pulling out and sinking back into his heaven. Both of them moved, moaning and sighing, stroking and gripping, kissing and licking. Alice reached down and kneaded his ass, pulling him hard, slamming him into her. "Harder, baby. Fuck me harder." She urged in his ear.

_She is back_, he thought to himself, _back in my arms_. He pulled back to look into her eyes. Half closed lids shielded the green fire, until he spoke. "Open your eyes, look at me." He picked up one slim leg and draped it over his shoulder, turning her a little to the side, and she groaned her pleasure. "It's good, isn't it baby. I make you feel good?

"Yesss." she hissed. "So good." And she moaned again. "Touch my clit, Jasper, make me come."

He pulled out and put his finger in her wet pussy, coating his fingers and then pushed back in harder. "Yes, Jasper, like that." He slathered her nipple with her juices, causing them to tighten even more, then bent his head to suck her and her wetness.

"Your pussy tastes so good, baby." And he bent down to suck her hard, pulling and nipping at her nipples. When he reached between them and flattened his thumb against her clit, to press and rub, her blood zinged and she came around him, squeezing him so hard, so sweetly that he came right after, moaning her name into the flesh of her red hots.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Fifteen

Alice slept with Jasper half the night, she awoke in the early, early morning with mega cramps, and had to peel his arm from around her. Even in sleep he had her trapped, with one arm round her waist and one leg thrown over hers. After a lot of pushing and heaving she managed to get out from under him. She tip-toed out the door and after using the bathroom she returned to the bedroom. She was trying to sneak out of there without waking Jasper, so she picked up her clothes and shoes and took them to the living room to get dressed. She had just finished putting on her silver-grey bra and panties and was reaching for her dress when a totally naked Jasper burst into the sitting area.

"What do you think you're doing, Alice?"

"I'm going to my room…

"No, you're not. I told you, you're staying with me, all fucking night." Before she could say anything else, he hoisted her over his shoulder and carried her back to bed.

Seconds after he dropped her on it, she tried to scramble off, but he held her down. "Jasper," she gasped out quickly "I have to go to my room to get a tampon, I'm starting my period."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh." She pushed him off her and quickly walked back to the sitting room. Jasper followed close behind, pulling on his robe.

"You're coming back to sleep with me, right?

"No I don't think so. Remember? Period? No more sex."

"Alice, when will you get it through your head that it's not all about sex." He walked over to her and grabbed her arms to forestall her from reaching for her dress.

"Well that's all you talk about, Jasper." She raised her brow, challenging him to argue that point.

"I talk about it because I do want it, and because between us it's so perfect, but that's not all I want from you. I want so much more. I want to take more and to give more…"

"No." Alice was getting frightened at the thought of falling into another relationship with Jasper and started to struggle out of his hold.

He held her fast, "Alice, I want you to stop running away and take a chance on me, on us."

In exasperation she gave up the struggle and snapped out, "Take a chance on what, Jasper? Another nasty little affair? I don't think so. I've already told you I don't want to do that."

"No. That's not what I'm asking for. Didn't you hear what I just said? I want more. I want it all, I want to sleep with you and wake with you. Have breakfast and lunch and dinner with you. I want to just be with you. I want us to enjoy everything about each other."

Alice was reeling, this conversation was way too reminiscent of the one she'd had with Mike. He was sounding way too much like him. She had to stop him before things got out of control. "Well, I don't want that Jasper. I just don't think you under…"

"I know I've got nerve to ask. And before you say anything I want to tell you that I know I was a selfish, self centered jerk before, but that doesn't mean I didn't care about you…"

Alice pulled her dress on, zipped it up and then turned to face Jasper. "I know you care about me Jasper. You were there for me after Mike died, and I'm sincerely grateful for that. I remember how you sat with me and fed me and put me to bed. When I could have curled up into a ball to died, you were always there to make sure I didn't sink into a deep depression. Believe me I'm grateful, and I care about you too. That's why I don't want to go there with you anymore. I love you. You're an awesome friend, someone I truly, truly value in my life. And I just don't want to lose that." Alice's eyes clouded with tears.

He reached for her and gently hugged her, "I promise you we won't. I want to cherish that friendship too; I don't want you to ever be out of my life again. I'm not asking to change our friendship; I'm asking you to change your mind. Let's deepen our friendship into something better. I want us to be together. I want to take care of you, and laugh with you and, yes, make love to you. But I also want to cry with you and fight with you and grow old with you." He held her hands in his. "Alice, I love you."

Her tears were falling freely now, spattering onto their clasped hands. "Jasper, please don't, please don't say that. You don't seem to get it, I'm still in love with Mike. I can't ever..."

"Shhh." He sat and pulled her down onto his lap and leaned against her heart. "Please, please don't say you can't love me. Don't hurt me like that. I think you can love me in time. But for now all I want is for you to open up to the possibility of it."

"Fuck, Jasper. Do you realize what you're saying? You sound like me, two years ago."

"I know. I was an idiot. But now I know what a mistake I made. I need you."

"Jasper, I'm not in that same mental space anymore."

"At least take some time to think about it, at least pretend to think about it."

She shook her head and got to her feet and he got up too. "I'm not going to think about it because I'm not going to change my mind. I don't want this, this emotional upheaval. I want to drift through my days, Jasper. And find pleasure in doing good things for other people, creating buildings and homes, and keeping busy. I don't want any more than that."

"What you're saying is that you don't want to live, Alice. You want to exist but not really live. You're turning your back on your life. You're being a coward."

She wiped her hands over her cheeks and dried her tears. "I know you think that. But I can't just jump back to being the old Alice just because you want me to. I need to be who I am now. My experiences have led me here. And I need to do what I need to do, for me."

"Alice, you said you love me, didn't you?" Jasper reached for her hands again and held them, she squeezed them tight, hoping to get her meaning across.

"I do Jasper. I love you as a friend, nothing more."

"Yes, it is more, and you know it. You enjoy having sex with me, don't you? How many friends do you enjoy that with? Huh? Only me."

"I know what you're about to say…"

"Well, let's just start simple. Sleep with me. I won't pressure you for love or even for sex. Just sleep in the bed with me. When you decide you want sex, we'll do it. If you don't, we won't. I need you to be there for me, like I was there for you. Please, be there for me, please?"

"Jasper, listen please. I can't be there for you in the way you want." she cried, the tears starting again.

He used his thumbs to dry her tears. "Well, be there in the way YOU want. Just be there. Give me time, baby, your time. Remember, I was there for you.

"This is emotional blackmail, you know." she cried.

"I know. But I'm being honest, I need you so much. I've missed you, more than the sex, I've missed being close to you. Please stay."

She thought about it for a minute and nodded. "I'll just go get my girlie stuff…"

"I'll come with you. We'll get all your stuff, Alice. Your suitcases, everything. We're sleeping together. We'll be a couple. I'm not hiding any more."

_Whoa, what was he on?_ She came to a stop and whirled on him. "Jasper wait. I didn't say that we're a couple. I just said that I would sleep here tonight. No sex, not even second base."

"I want us to be more, Alice."

"You keep saying that Jasper, but everything isn't about what you want."

"Okay, I'll tell you what we'll do. Let's get your stuff and we'll finish sleeping tonight and then we'll talk about it tomorrow. How's that sound?"

"Like a bad idea. I'm an employee, what if someone found out. This could turn out badly…"

"Who gives a fuck. I want everyone to know that I love you..."

"No Jasper, we're not talking about love, here. That's not even on the table."

He ran his palms impatiently over his face. "You're a hard nut, Alice. Please stop arguing and just let's go get your stuff." He pulled on his jeans and a t-shirt, while she put on her shoes.

When they got to her room on the fifth floor, Alice dashed into the bathroom and took a quick shower. After the tampon and fresh underwear she felt better able to deal with Jasper and the brewing problem. As she walked into the bedroom, she saw him reach for her suitcase, and Alice freaked. "Jasper I meant it. I just came to get my toiletry bag, that's all. I'm not shacking up with you."

"For chrissakes Alice! Why can't you just give a little?"

"Because you don't want a little, you'll take it all and give nothing back. I'm not stupid. Frankly, I don't even know why I even agreed to go back to your room, I must have been temporarily insane."

"You agreed because you want to, you know you do."

"Whatever, I'll just get a change of clothes and we can go."

Alice grabbed another change of underwear, a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and shoved them into her toiletry bag. She grabbed her cosmetics case and turned to him "Ready, let's go."

"Alice, this is stupid. You'll just have to come back again..."

She held up a hand to stop him. "Like you said, we'll talk about it tomorrow. Right now it's three o'clock in the morning and I'm tired."

Jasper carried her bag and they trooped back to his room. As they lay in bed together he drew her into his arms. "Alice, why won't you give me a little bit more of you?"

"Why should I, Jasper? You give me none of you."

"It's not easy for me to talk about myself, Alice. You have no idea."

"Why? Why can't you just open up to me? You're so cold and hard."

He snorted, and pulled her hand down to his cock. "I thought you liked it hard."

She pulled her hand away. "You're also a sex-crazed idiot."

"I never was before I met you. You bring it out in me."

"Well, maybe that's the problem. I'm bad for you, Jasper."

"No, Alice you're the best thing that's ever come into my screwed up life."

"Really? Then why don't I know anything about your screwed up life?"

"It's hard for me, I told you. Very hard. I wouldn't even know where to begin."

"Begin at the beginning, and we'll see how far you get."

"Well to begin with, my name is not Jasper Whitlock Hale. It's my name now, but not the name I was born with. I was born Jasper Hale Whitlock. My father now, Nick Hale, is actually my great uncle, my mother's uncle." He paused and rubbed her shoulder.

"Hmm. Go on. I'm listening."

"My birth father, Royce King Whitlock and Nick Hale met in law school. Two Texas boys up there at Stanford, well they got on like a house on fire. Nick Hale was from a poor family in El Paso, he had nothing much to return to, so he stayed in San Francisco, worked as a district attorney and then settled down and got married. Royce Whitlock was from a wealthy family in Houston, so he returned to Texas and joined his father's practice and continued to raise cane. But the two friends kept in touch.

Nick Hale and his wife Edie were married six years and tried without success to have children. When his sister died, leaving her only daughter behind, Nick and Edie adopted her. She was only twelve when she came to live with Nick and his wife. Her name was Auralee Hale and she was, by all accounts, a beautiful little girl, who grew into an even more beautiful young woman. As it happens, a few years later Royce came out for a visit and you can figure it out."

"What?"

"Well, thirty-seven year old Royce got sixteen year old Auralee pregnant."

"Fuck! Sixteen?"

"Barely sixteen. Royce went back to Texas and three months later Nick Hale called him up. He did the right thing, he married her and took her back to Houston. But that severed the friendship between Nick Hale and Royce Whitlock forever."

"Mmmhmm. Then?"

"Then that's when I came into the picture. Auralee was in love with Royce and he was in love with himself. Turns out he was an alcoholic, who became a wife-beater and he surrounded himself with people who protected him from the law he had sworn to uphold."

"He routinely gave her black eyes and broken bones and nobody said a word. Not even Auralee. Her in-laws turned a blind eye to all her "injuries", referring to the young woman who had danced ballet since she was five years old, as "accident prone." Auralee was naiive and was told by everyone how lucky she was to have snared the big prize, the prince of the county. She was young and innocent, and, as he routinely reminded her, she was just poor white trash, who got just what she deserved. But he also reminded her that whatever happened in the house stayed in the house. The servants who saw her every day, the doctors who saw her every month, and the "friends" at the country club all pretended it was nothing, nothing at all."

"Oh my god."

"I grew up in this nightmare. By the time I was five, I was getting beaten too. Royce would drink once or twice a week and come and drag me out of bed by my hair. He would call me "a little mistake" he made when he let "his dick rule his head." And he would beat me, first with a belt, and later on with his fists. My teachers pretended not to see my bruises. And if they were particularly bad, Royce would tell Auralee to keep me home that day because I "looked too sick" to go to school. All the while Auralee would tell me how I should be a better boy for "papa" and then I wouldn't get beatings any more. So, I blamed myself and tried to be the best boy I could be. But always something I said or did would set him off and he would beat me and then when he was done, he'd beat Auralee."

"Oh Jasper, oh god." She squeezed him tight, wrapping both arms around him, tucking her face into the curve of his neck.

"Then, when I was nine, my sister Rosalie was born. It's a miracle Auralee survived to give birth. Royce beat her throughout the pregnancy. I heard him when he told her that he knew the baby wasn't his and that "if the bastard looks like the gardener, I'll kill you with my bare hands." She cried and swore to Royce that the baby was his and he called her a whore and a liar. I saw him punch her and throw her into the wall and when she fell down he kicked her in her side. She rolled up in a ball to protect her belly. That's the only time I ever saw her fight back, in any way, and it was to protect her baby."

Alice sat up and buried her face in her hands. "Stop, Jasper, I'm sorry, but I can't hear anymore." And she started to weep for her friend and his poor mother. "Oh Jasper, oh Jasper. I can't bear it." And she sobbed into her hands.

Jasper sat up and pulled her into his arms and held her until the tears subsided. "I'm sorry, Alice. I know it's horrible and disgusting, but you asked me to tell you."

"No, no. I'm glad you told me, it's just that it's so hard to hear."

"Believe me, it was harder to live through.

"You're right! Oh, god. I'm sorry, for being so such a wimp.""

"It's okay, I understand. I do. Let's get some rest. I feel like I've been beaten with a bat. I'm so tired." Jasper lay back on the pillows bringing Alice into his arms again. He kissed the top of her curls. "I love sleeping with you in my arms, do you know that? I feel like nothing will go wrong, when I smell your hair and feel your breath on my skin."

"Oh, Jasper. I'm glad I'm here with you too."

He rubbed her back and she stroked his arm and held him close to her as they drifted into sleep.

#

In the morning she awoke to the sound of Jasper's raised voice as he talked with someone on the phone in the other room. Alice quickly donned her t-shirt and jeansand walked into the living room to see what was wrong, when he saw her he frowned at her and held up his hand to prevent her from talking. "I understand exactly what you're saying, Glenn, and I apologize, but something very important came up. Yes, I did call your secretary and tell her that I would not be able to make it, I assumed that she got in touch with both of you before the end of the day."

It wasn't until that very moment that Alice realized she and Jasper had totally forgotten about the evening meeting with Glenn Burnett and Martin Woodward. Shit, shit, shit. They had fucked up big time. She sat down close to Jasper, to hear more of what was going on and he reached his free hand up to caress her cheek and he gave her a wink. Surprisingly, Jasper did not seem to be worried as he listened to the older man talk. "Yes, so we'll see you this afternoon at the barbecue then. Yes, Ms Swan will be there, I'll call and remind her as soon as I get off the phone with you, Glenn." Jasper reached his arm around Alice and hugged her tightly. "Mmmhmm, yes, one-thirty will be fine. See you then." And he pressed the key and disconnected the call.

"Oh, Jasper! We fucked up, didn't we? What did Mr Burnett say?"

"Well yes, we fucked up, but it isn't too bad. Burnett's granddaughter got thrown from her horse yesterday afternoon and he had to miss the meeting anyway, he was at the hospital until late last night. He called to apologize to me for not meeting with us, so I informed him that I had an emergency, too. The problem is that Martin Woodward and his son waited for both of us to show up. It wasn't until Woodward got in touch with Burnett's secretary that he realized the meeting was not going to happen. But Woodward is plenty mad; considering he waited two hours, I don't blame him."

"Oh, damn, Jasper. What were you thinking? What was I thinking? This shit is bad. We can't afford to screw this up. I told you I was bad for you."

He reached over and pulled her onto his lap. "You're good for me, you make me happy. But you're right, I totally lost my mind yesterday, I wasn't thinking straight. Fortunately, I did remember to call Burnett's office to cancel and I did tell his secretary to make sure he got the message. She did her best, but as I said Burnett's mind was elsewhere, on his granddaughter, and he wasn't returning any calls or listening to messages. If he had he probably would have asked her to call Woodward. As it turned out Woodward was stood up, but sometimes things happen, Alice. Fortunately, Woodward needs us more than we need him, so I'm not going to stress. But I will apologize when I see him today at the barbecue. Your job is to charm him and find out what he likes and we'll send him a big over the top gift, as an apology. That's the best we can do."

"Jasper, I'm going to have to go buy something to wear. I only brought office clothes, and two pairs of raggedy jeans and a couple t-shirts. Nothing that's appropriate for a barbecue."

"Why not? You're office clothes are just fine."

"Please, Jasper, don't be ridiculous. I have pencil skirts and blouses and pumps. In what universe is that appropriate for a barbecue?" She rolled her eyes.

"Sorry, what was I thinking?" He said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes back at her. "Pick up a bathing suit too, it's a poolside barbecue."

"I'm not going to swim. Are you?"

"No, but I do have swim shorts just in case."

"In case what?"

"Alice, don't be dense. In case everyone is dressed for the pool."

"Then he would have said "pool party" right? But he didn't, he said barbecue."

"What's with you?"

"I don't feel like giving everyone a little peep, you know? I have to work with these people for the next two years."

He look flabbergasted. "What the hell? This is coming from the woman who wore a leather jumpsuit to an interview? And, I might add, a barely there belly dancing outfit to an office party? Alice, reality check, you're not going to be nude. You'll have on appropriate attire. What's gotten in to you?

"I told you, I've changed. I'm not "Alice the party girl", not that I ever was. I'm a respected architect and a widow. No bathing suit, Jasper."

"Suit yourself."

"I'm going to my room to shower. After breakfast, I'm going to the mall for a sundress and maybe a straw hat."

"Don't forget the gloves, granny."

"Ha, ha, very funny."

As she walked out the door to go to her room he reminded her, "The temperature will probably reach ninety degrees today. I suggest that you check the forecast before going off on your little buying trip so you can get something weather appropriate. Something you won't get sunstroke in."

"I'll check with the concierge."

Before she could pull open the door he walked over to her and pulled her into his arms. "I didn't have a chance to say "good morning." And he bent down and gave her a long kiss. "Good morning, sweet Alice. Thank you for sleeping with me last night."

"You're welcome, Jasper. I'm happy that you were able to talk to me. Can we talk again tonight?"

"Only, if you sleep with me again."

"Are you Scheherezade? Am I the caliph?

"What?"

"Didn't you ever read One Thousand and One Nights?" He shook his head. "The lovely Scheherezade wooed the caliph by telling him a different story each night so he wouldn't kill her. After all the tales were told, he didn't kill her, instead he had fallen in love with her and they lived happily ever after."

"Never read it. But that's an idea. I'll tell you a little bit each night, until you fall in love with me."

"Fat chance, bub. You just told me your secret plan; you don't think I'm fool enough to fall for it now do you?"

He snapped his fingers. "How about if you forget what I just said, and pretend that you never heard of my secret plan?"

"No can do. You just have to come up with a different plan."

"I've got a better idea. Why don't we just skip the secret plans altogether, cut to the chase, and you fall in love with me."

"Too easy. So what are you doing for the rest of the day?"

"I'm meeting you for breakfast downstairs and driving you to the mall."

"You will?"

"Yep."

"A man who wants to shop? You're a … Oh my God Jasper. I totally forgot! I left my rental car at the job site, and my wallet is in it. You have to drive me there to pick it up."

"Fine, after breakfast, we'll pick up your car and bring it back here. Then off to the mall."

#

After a breakfast of Texas-sized portions they went to get her car. Thankfully, the parking area was not locked on the weekend and she retrieved her wallet. She remembered to call Riley Biers and tell him that she had to attend a function with his boss and hers. She apologized for the short notice, but told him that she had just found out. On the drive back to the hotel, Alice marveled at how completely she and Jasper had forgotten all other responsibilities in the heat of passion. She made a mental note to keep it together and stay out of that kind of situation in the future.

Alice and Jasper made it to the barbecue on time, but for a while it looked doubtful that they would make it at all. It was easy enough for her to find a straw sun hat and sandals, the hard part was finding a demure sundress. She finally found one at a vintage store near the campus. It was a simple white cotton dress, the vintage print had large red roses with black and white leaves. The fitted bodice was held up by spaghetti straps and the wide skirt was cut on the bias. A wide black belt completed the look, Alice felt like modern day Donna Reed.

Glenn Burnett greeted Jasper with a handshake and gave Alice a big hug. He then introduced them to his family, his two sons, and their wives and children and then to his daughter, Claire, and her two daughters. It was a Burnett family affair more cousins were constantly being introduced until Alice became confused by who was who; the only outsiders being Jasper and herself and Martin Woodward and his son, Tony.

As Jasper had predicted, it was a poolside party, everyone was in varying states of dress, the men wearing swim shorts and shirts and the women wearing bathing suits and cover ups. As the day wore on and the temperature threatened to climb into the upper eighties, almost everyone took turns urging Alice to put on a swimsuit. She refused, telling them that she had come unprepared, but Claire Burnett offered to lend her one, explaining that they had many extras.

Once or twice Alice caught Jasper's little I-told-you-so-smirk, and she wanted to punch him. Claire was more than a little taken with Jasper and found many reasons to engage him in conversation. In retaliation, Alice ditched Jasper and mingled. She had lost sight of Jasper for more than an hour and she and Tony Woodward were laughing and flirting when she saw Jasper making his way over to them with a wide scowl on his face.

"Oh look, here comes Jasper now," she said loudly to her companion, "he looks hot and bothered, maybe we should encourage him to go for a swim."

Jasper heard her and his scowl became thunderous. "Alice, may I speak to you for a minute. Will you please excuse us, Woodward? I need to speak to Alice privately." Tony Woodward nodded and Jasper took Alice by the arm and walked over to a gazebo. "Alice, why did you leave me alone with that woman? She's husband hunting, and I just spent the last hour trying to escape from her. And here I find you pulling your usual little stunt, flirting with anything in pants."

"What do you mean, Jasper? What was I supposed to do? I'm not your protection from unwanted female advances. And I can flirt with anyone I want to flirt with, you don't own me."

His eyes narrowed. "You are here with me, as my employee. You do exactly as I say, understand? If I say 'jump' you ask 'how high', got it?" He hissed at her.

Alice was about to tear him a new hole, but she counted backwards from ten, and decided to be a lady. "I'm sorry, Mr. Hale. I thought I was following your earlier request that I speak to Mr. Woodward and try to find out what would make the best fence-mending gift. Was I wrong, sir?" she asked with exaggerated politeness.

"Look, Alice, I'm sorry."

"Think nothing of it, Mr. Hale. Please excuse me while I go speak with Mr. Woodward, if I may?"

"Stop it, Alice. I already said I was sorry." She stared up at him in stony silence, until he asked her, "So, you're not going to forgive me?"

"Sir, as I previously said, there is nothing to forgive. I'm at your service. I am, after all, your employee. By the way, Mr. Hale, according to his son, Martin Woodward is quite the golfer, he may appreciate a set of clubs."

"Alice, please..."

"Mr. Hale, I would like your permission to go speak to Mr. Woodward about business concerning the start of construction."

He turned on his heel and walked away.

_Good._ Alice thought to herself. _That's just the beginning of the end you fucking freak._

The next couple hours were long. Alice continued to call Jasper "Mr. Hale" or "sir" until other people looked at them oddly and he got red in the face, however, she was not going to back down. After they ate, the barbecue party was coming to a close and Jasper approached Burnett and Woodward to reschedule the meeting. Alice said a polite good-bye to everyone and they made their way to his SUV. As soon as he was on the road he told her, "You are a royal pain in the ass, do you know that, Alice?"

"I'm sorry, sir, I did my best to..."

"Stop with the fucking "sir" okay? A guy can't make a fucking mistake with you, can he? I'm starting to feel sorry for your actor ex-boyfriend…"

"Pardon me Mr. Hale, but I don't believe that's any of your business. I gave you that information when we were friends, but since we no longer enjoy that status, I would prefer if you would refrain from commenting on my private life."

"So, we're no longer friends. Just because I showed a little temper and said you were my employee?"

"That is correct, Mr. Hale."

"Well fuck you too."

"I don't believe that's the proper way to speak to an employee."

"I. Don't. Give. A. Flying. Fuck."

They pulled up to the hotel and she got out and waited by the entrance, until he had given the key to the valet. "Will that be all for today, Mr. Hale?"

"Yes, Ms. Swan."

"Will you need me tomorrow, sir?"

"No, Ms. Swan."

"Goodnight, sir."

"Goodnight, Ms Swan."

Alice went to her room and paced. "That mother fucking wretch. I hate him so much." She muttered. She called Riley Biers. "Riley, I'm sorry that I had to cancel our afternoon, but maybe we can hang tomorrow. If you want."

"Sure, but what are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing, but to be perfectly honest, I am a little tired." She responded. "All day in the hot sun takes a toll on you, you know."

"I know. But maybe we can just meet up in the hotel bar for a drink. If that's okay?"

"Sure. Give me an hour to rest up, okay?"

"Okay. So I'll meet you in an hour. Bye."

"See you then, bye."

Alice had no energy, but she really felt like drinking, a lot. She showered off the grime of the day and slathered herself with scented body lotion. With little choice in terms of her wardrobe selection, she decided to wear the sundress again that night, but paired it with shiny black stiletto heels.

At seven o'clock on the dot she wandered into the bar and stopped short when she saw Riley and Jasper chatting at the bar. "Hey, Riley." she smiled at him and then she turned to Jasper, "Good evening, Mr. Hale."

Jasper laughed. "Good evening Ms. Swan. Riley here was just telling me that you called him for a date when you got back from the barbecue." He smiled at her. "Well, have a good time, you two. I better get back to my date." And he got up and sauntered over to small table, where a tall beautiful blonde was sitting.

"Well, that was odd." Riley said.

"What was odd?" She asked as she slid onto the stool beside Riley.

"He came over to talk to me, he said he was mighty sorry that you had to cancel your day with me because of work. Then he offered to cover our drinks, told the bartender to put it on his tab."

"Oh he did? That was nice of him." She said as they both turned to look over at the table.

"Go figure, I thought he was annoyed with me for talkin' to you yesterday, seems I was wrong."

"Yep, you were wrong." she lied smoothly. "Who's the chick?"

"Her name's Heidi, she's Woodward's niece."

"Oh, really? I guess you must know her, then."

"I've seen her 'round. I think she got divorced a lil' while back."

"Well, let's forget about them. What say you that we run up Mr. Hale's tab, huh?"

"Sounds like a plan, darlin'. What're you havin'?"

"Oh, I don't know. I think I'll have a night of drunken rowdiness, followed by a morning of sweet regrets." And she bubbled with laughter as Riley gave her an odd look.

"What was that?" he asked.

"Sorry. Not a lot of people get my humor." she smiled to get the bartender's attention. "Maybe because it's not funny."

"I think you're funny, but off the wall funny. You're always surprisin' me." Riley replied.

"I come from Berzerkley, you know. That's what us natives call Berkeley." She explained. "I'm socially obligated to be off the wall."

The bartender came over and Alice ordered, "Mr. Bartender, sir, I'll have a magnum of your most expensive champagne and give everyone in the bar a free round." The laughter bubbled up again, when she saw Riley do a double take. "Surprised you again, didn't I?"


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Sixteen

After polishing off the magnum of Veuve Clicquot 1985 Gold Reserve, Alice vowed to herself that Jasper would pay and pay big. For what, she wasn't quite sure, after all she was a little buzzed, but she was sure of one thing; she was going to break up his little tete a tete with Ms Woodward. Grabbing the empty bottle by its neck, she sauntered over to his table, swinging her hips temptingly. She saw his smile widen, showing his delicious dimple, and then she glanced over at his date who was scowling as she looked from Jasper to Alice and back again.

"Hello I'm so sorry to interrupt you two, but I just had to come over here to thank you for covering the tab for Riley and me." She smiled at his date, and winked conspiratorially, "It's not every boss who is so generous."

"You're welcome. It's the least I could do after making you work so hard this afternoon. Why don't you and your date join us for a drink Ms Swan?" Jasper invited.

"Well, I really wouldn't want to interrupt, I just had to stop by and say thanks. Riley and I will probably go dancing..."

"Where?" the date piped up.

"Err, I don't know we haven't gotten that far in our discussions yet. But I thought, …don't they have a club here?"

Blondie shook her head in response. "No, this is strictly a bar, on Saturday nights they play a little music, but not many people dance. If you really want to go dancing there's a club called Annabelle's in the St George Hotel, it's always fun. Jasper," she pouted, "I'd love to go dancing with them."

Jasper shrugged, "Dancing isn't really for me Heidi, but go ahead if you want to. I guess I'm gonna call it an early night

"No. I don't want to go dancing without you; I'd just as soon stay here and talk." Blondie grinned.

Alice saw her plans going down the drain, and scrambled quickly. "I'll just go and talk to Riley, see if he's interested in coming over."

By the time Alice and Riley came over, Jasper and Heidi had moved to a larger table. "What are you having, Ms Swan?"

Riley had pulled the chair out for her and Alice smiled her thanks at him. "Oh, I think I'll just keep drinking champagne."

"Oooh me too." Heidi perked up. "I just love champagne. I don't have it nearly enough."

Jasper hailed the waiter who came over immediately. "More champagne for the ladies and ..Biers? What are you having?"

"Jameson's."

"And sparkling water for me." he told the waiter.

The waiter left and Alice asked, "You're not drinking?"

"Oh no. I'm the designated driver."

"Driver? But you're staying here at the hotel."

He smirked, "Yes, but I'm taking Ms Woodward-Finch home, later on tonight." The way he said it made it sound as though he would be up to no good, he smiled at her and she smiled back, but Alice was not amused.

"Oh. Ms Woodward-Finch, is it?" Alice turned to the tall, cool-looking blonde. "That's quite a mouthful. Why didn't you just keep your name or change it. I'm not a fence straddler, so I don't understand the hyphenated thing."

"Well, to be honest I hated the name Finch. But I compromised by adding it. I would have preferred to just keep my name, but Cooper insisted. Anyway that's all water under the bridge, now. "

Just then the waiter returned and Ms Woodward-Finch exclaimed. "Veuve Clicquot? You have great taste Ms Swan."

"Oh taste had nothing to do with it, I just asked the bartender for his best bottle of champagne. I don't know nuthin' bout nuthin' bout champagne, but I drink it as often as I can; especially when someone else is paying."

Ms Woodward-Finch guzzled her glass of bubbly. "Well, I love champagne. Drinking it makes me feel all sparkly." And she giggled as Jasper poured her another glass.

"Sparkly? Now there's a word you don't hear every day, unless it's from preschoolers." Alice snickered.

"Well I guess that's why I use it. I teach kindergarten, you know, Ms Swan. Words like that, are just a part of my daily vocabulary. Like "owie" and "potty" and "booger".

Alice was beginning to realize that it was almost impossible to faze Ms Woodward-Finch, unless she was willing to be bold.

"So, where is Mr. Cooper Woodward-Finch these days?

"Oh he's not a Woodward, he's just a Finch. Although, it would be more appropriate to call him a fink." She snorted and proceeded to finish her second glass in one long swallow. "Mr. Fink, as I prefer to call him, is probably on top of his secretary these days, Ms Swan." Her eyes twinkled with the shine of tears. "His young, nubile secretary."

Alice's heart went out to Heidi, and she topped off both their glasses. "Well, let's drink to the stupid bastard who didn't have sense enough to appreciate a world class woman like you, Ms Woodward. Some men are just mother fuckers aren't they?"

Heidi raised her glass, "Here, here. Just call me Heidi, Alice." She smiled at Alice before finishing her third glass, then made a long, low burp. "Well, like I tell my students, better that it comes out the front end than the back end." And she snorted and started to giggle.

Alice clapped delightedly and howled with laughter too. Riley soon joined in and all three laughed. Alice looked over at Jasper and he smiled an odd smile. Alice thought that he looked just like a lion with a kill in its paw.

But she was already pretty tipsy and therefore easily distracted; so when Alice heard the thumping music start up her thoughts shifted away from Jasper's watchful expression and back to her own plans. "Do you like this music, Heidi?"

"Yeah, I love Kings of Leon. Who doesn't?" she shouted above the music that was getting louder.

"So you like Sex on Fire?" Alice winked at Jasper, and he winked in return.

"Uh hunh. Love it." And Heidi took a swallow from her fourth glass of champagne.

"Me too. His voice makes me shiver, it's so husky and sexy almost like having sex. But it's not much of a dancy song. Just gets you in the mood, you know." Alice winked at Riley and smiled when she saw Jasper's eyes narrow.

"I know what you mean." Riley answered.

"You do, don't you, Riley." And Heidi and Alice both giggled like school girls

"I need some sex on fire tonight!" Heidi shouted and clapped her hand over her mouth and giggled again

Alice laughed and shouted back so everyone could hear. "Well, I guess you came to the right place. Mr. Hale over there is sex on fire, but maybe you know that already.

Heidi shook her head. "No I don't. Never tried it, but ah surewouldn'mind." Heidi slurred and ran her fingers up Jasper's arm.

Jasper's eyes widened, Alice thought he looked like a fish on a hook- caught; and she wanted to laugh at him. "Oh, I have it on good authority that he'll burn you AND your sheets up." She said loudly. "Just make sure you can handle it when he freezes you out." She turned to Riley as Santeria came on. "Ready to do the dirty dance, hot stuff?" and she pulled him out of his chair and led him to the makeshift dance floor where she turned her back to Riley's front and dropped to the floor and slowly slithered up. She laughed and laughed when she saw Jasper's thunderous expression.

#

Mid-morning sunlight was streaming through the windows of the hotel room and Alice rolled over on to her side and groaned into a strong, muscular bicep. "Please tell me that I didn't do what I think I did."

A husky male laugh tickled her ears, "Depends darlin'. Just what is it that you think you did?"

She rolled on to her back and groaned again, clutching at her throbbing head. She whispered through a bone dry throat, "I think I got ass tearing drunk on three magnums of 1985 Veuve Clicquot, jumped up onto the bar and asked for better dance music."

The voice chuckled near her ear and a strong hand smoothed across her naked belly to grasp the curve of her hip."Sounds about right so far."

"And then after whipping my skirt around like a crazed flamenco dancer and gyrating to two encores of "Animal", I decided to raffle my room key to the guy who comes closest to guessing the color of my bra…"

"Panties..." A finger slipped under the band of said panties and snapped them teasingly. "Red. I won."

She moaned again and pressed her fingers into her eyeballs that threatened to bulge from her eye sockets. "So it did happen?"

"Well the raffle came before the singing …"

She opened one eye to look at her bed partner, and closed it again in horror. "Singing?"

"…but after you told Ms Heidi Woodward-Finch to make sure her date had condoms, because he likes to do the naked slide into home plate…"

"Oh fuck. I did that too? I thought it was a clip from a really bad movie that was infiltrating my dream."

"…and then you claimed to have evidence that Mr. Jasper Hale was a lying asshole who…"

She gasped out. "Please, please tell me that I didn't say that."

"…who claims to be celibate but sleeps with every piece of tail he can get his big, dirty, cootie hands on."

"No, no, no." She groaned into her fingers.

"You also told Ms Woodward-Finch that her date likes to lick pussy, but only …"

Her eyes popped open in horror. "Oh my fuck, Riley! Heidi! What…"

Her companion tugged at the sheet that covered her, and gazed lasciviously at her nipples, that were poking through her thin sleep tank. "Oh I wouldn't worry too much about her, darlin'. Chances are they won't remember a thing. They were already so drunk by the time the mud-slinging started, I doubt they'll wake up until late tonight, maybe even tomorrow. They may even want to forget most of what was done too. "

"Oh no. What was I thinking?"

"You weren't." Strong thumbs strummed her nipples through the thin material, sending chills up her spine. "Good thing I didn't drink. I kept my sober eyes on you."

Alice pushed his hand away and tugged the sheet back into place. "You planned this didn't you?"

"How could I have?" he asked with all the shifty-eyed innocence of a politician caught red-handed.

"You are a devious, devious man, Jasper Hale. You offered to pay the tab so we would stay at the hotel bar and drink ourselves into the ground, didn't you?" She accused.

"Alice, not even I, could have predicted the level of drunkenness you, Biers and Heidi would sink to. To be honest, I was shocked."

"Oh, get off your high horse. You stayed sober so you could lure me up here again. I feel like I'm stuck, like in that movie Groundhog Day. Am I cursed to wake up in your bed forever?"

He tucked his head down and nipped at her lips. "That wouldn't be a curse, darlin', that'd be a blessing."

"Said the spider to the fly." Alice pulled away and tried to get up to use the bathroom but she moved too suddenly. Her head felt heavy, as though it was filled with bowling balls, she worried that it might roll right off her shoulders. "Help me! I'm going to die." She sunk back into the pillows.

He kissed her forehead so sweetly, smoothing back her hair. "Do you want me to get you some acetaminophen and water?"

"Anything, please? I'll even take my mother's home remedy at this point."

"What's her remedy, baby?"

"Co-Co."

"Cocoa? As in hot chocolate? I'll order some from room service." He offered as he got upfrom the bed.

"No. Don't. Not Co-Co, as in hot cocoa. Co-Co as in Coleslaw and Coke."

"Together?"

"Yep. Eat Mexican coleslaw, the kind without mayo, and drink a can of coke."

"That sounds horrible."

She gulped a nasty taste in her mouth. "Yeah, it does. That's why I've never tried it. My mom said my dad discovered it."

"Do you want me to get you some?"

She shook her head and then grabbed it and shuddered. "Ibuprofen would be fine. I just need to evict the dwarves that are building a seven bedroom cottage behind my eyes." He chuckled and went to the bathroom.

"Thanks, Jasper." She whispered when he brought the pills and the glass of water. She drank all the water and dropped back down into the feathery pillows. "I always thought that you couldn't get a hangover from drinking good liquor."

"You can get a hangover from any liquor. And apparently, the more expensive the champagne is, the crazier the drunken revelry becomes." He slid into the bed and held her close.

"What?"

"I honestly don't think this hotel has ever seen a crazier bunch of people. It was like a sit-com." He chuckled at the memory of the night before.

"You mean it wasn't just me?"

"No, Alice. But you did almost incite a riot."

"Thank God I have no memories of it. What happened?"

"Before or after the fight?"

"There was a fight?"

"Yep."

"Who?"

'I have no idea who they were. I think they were stragglers from a bridal shower; but after you winked at the guy, his girlfriend got up and wanted to leave."

He called her a tight ass, which is when she kneed him in the balls and called him a thumb dick and then everyone started hooting and hollering. He got pissed and walked out, leaving her stranded. She started to bawl and said it was all your fault. And you told her that you did her a favor."

"No way."

"Yes."

"What happened to her?"

He shrugged. "I think she left with some friends, I really don't know, but that's when you and Heidi ordered the third magnum of champagne, and toasted to the end of that "sorry relationship". Then you both did a dance, waggling your thumbs, to celebrate rescuing the girl from the thumb dick boyfriend."

"I'm surprised the bartender didn't kick us out." She tried to get up, but again her head thumped with the force of a thousand hammers and she lay back down.

"Are you kidding? He was in heaven. You and Heidi were flirting shamelessly with him all night long."

"What about Reilly?"

"He didn't flirt with the bartender."

"Very funny."

"Riley can't hold his liquor like you gals. He was wasted before the end of the second magnum. It doesn't help that he was downing some Jameson's like there was no tomorrow."

"You didn't let him drive home in that condition did you? I hope you put him in a cab."

"No, he and Heidi are in your room, even as we speak."

"I don't even want to know how that happened."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. Jasper, I need to use the bathroom but I can't seem to get up without feeling as though my big heavy head will break my neck."

His mouth drifted to her ear and he nipped her lobe. "Do you want me to carry you?"

Oh, her insides were melting. "Can you?"

He stood up and gathered her barely clothed body effortlessly into his arms."I can do whatever you want me to."

Alice wrapped her arms around his neck. "Take care of me?"

"I'll be happy to oblige, ma'am." He said as he carried her gently to the bathroom.

"What's with all the Texas twang?"

"It's coming back to me; it always does after I'm down here for a few days. Remember I told you I grew up in Houston until I was fourteen?"

She shook her head, "You never finished telling me about your childhood, Jasper. How about now?"

He hesitated. "Maybe later, darlin'. Right now I just want to take care of you. Make you feel better."

"Just take me to the shower, and after that can you bring me my girlie bag? I need to, you know, take care of business."

After her shower and girlie changes, Alice returned to bed and resumed sleeping off the after effects of the night before. By the time she woke again in Jasper's arms at one-thirty that afternoon her head and stomach felt much, much better. She was warm and cozy snuggled next to him, so she lay there for a bit. He stirred and his hands started wandering down her back toward her behind and she moved a little out of reach. "Jasper" she whispered, "are you awake?"

"Yes." He kept his eyes closed and his hands roaming.

"I'm so hungry." She whined. Her belly growled in agreement.

"Me too." Jasper replied huskily and he pulled her back into his arms.

"I'm serious, I think I need to eat some food, pronto. The last thing I had was barbecue almost twenty-four hours ago."

He reached for the phone. "Well, what'll it be?"

"You know what I want? Hot wings." she licked her lips in anticipation as he dialed for room service. As he spoke she interrupted him "and get some french fries with lots of ketchup and hot sauce."

#

Half an hour later they sat on the bed facing each other, eating. Alice had spread a towel for a make shift bed picnic. "You know what would make this great?" she asked.

"What?"

"A couple of beers."

"You've got to be joking!"

"If I didn't have a hangover, I would love a Corona with lime right now."

"Just drink the coke. That's about all you can handle."

"I know, I'm just a lazy lush. You don't drink much do you?"

"Not really. I never wanted to. I have gotten drunk sometimes, but not often."

"When was the last time you got wasted?"

"The night you told me you were getting married."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh."

"Not since then?"

"No."

"Are you an alcoholic?"

"No. I avoided liquor in college because I worried I might be, genetic predisposition and all that. But as I got older, I would indulge every so often. It never proved to be a problem. I guess the universe can sometimes be good. I didn't inherit Royce's alcoholism."

"Or his violence?"

"No. Twice in my life I've touched a woman in anger, and it scared me."

Alice paused and licked sauce off her fingers. She was surprised to hear that Jasper had lost his cool with a woman. "What happened?"

"It was with you."

'Me?"

"That time in your office when you told me you didn't want to see me anymore."

"I don't remember it."

"It was just a moment, a couple seconds really. I grabbed you by your shoulders and then I realized what I was doing. I stopped immediately, horrified; I didn't want to be anything remotely like Royce. And the second time was on your birthday, when I pulled your hair and grabbed your chin. I was so angry with you, it scared me."

"I didn't think those incidents were even a little bit violent. Did you want to hit me, hurt me?"

"I didn't let it go that far. But I wanted to stop you from seeing him. I had to walk away Alice, or I was going to break something."

Hmm. "Ever thought of therapy, to deal with anger?"

He shook his head. "I've seen someone, but not for anger issues. I seldom get very angry, you are an exception. I channel a lot of my energies into work. You'd be surprised just how many hours I do work."

"I don't think I'd be surprised, I know its your heart and soul. I'm sure you put in fifteen plus hours a day."

"Yes, I do. But as for therapy, my father saw to it that we got help. I saw a shrink in my teens, to deal with recurring nightmares I used to have after Auralee's death. They diagnosed it as PTSD."

"How did she die? You haven't told me."

"It's not going to be easy to hear, Alice." He warned her, looking more than a little worried.

"I'm sure, but I need to know what you've been through. I just need to know that part of you, I think it's really important."

"Well, a couple days after he beat her and threatened to kill her if the baby looked like the gardener, Auralee went into labor. Rosalie was born five weeks early; the obstetrician on call asked a lot of questions about Auralee's bruises, and guessed that domestic violence may have led to the premature delivery. The police were called to the hospital, but once again Auralee covered for Royce and claimed to have suffered the bruises by falling off a ladder while decorating the nursery. I overheard all this from listening to Royce talk to his parents on the phone.

I know that put a little scare into Royce because after Rosalie was born he stayed away from us. And for a year or so things were relatively quiet. There were rumors going around that he had a mistress and that was why he didn't come home much.

But abusers always abuse and after a while he started up again. The beatings got worse and I made it a point to keep a bat near my bed, just in case I'd need it. A week or so after Rosie's fourth birthday he beat Auralee for the last time. They were at the top of the stairs and she tumbled and broke her neck at the bottom of the stairs. I wasn't there at the time, but Rosie was and she saw the whole thing, from beginning to end. The police interviewed everyone except for her. When they asked to speak with her she screamed and cried and Royce's mother accused them of making the trauma of her mother's death worse."

"Your grandmother did that?"

"Royce's mother. She was never a grandmother to me. She hated me just as much as she hated Auralee. Like I told you, they thought of her as white trash; someone who tricked Royce into marriage. Anyway, we went to the funeral and for the first time in my life I found out that Auralee had family, she had never spoken of any. Nick Hale and his wife stood by the graveside and wept openly as the casket was lowered. Honestly, I think they were the only ones who cried. Royce didn't, his mother and father didn't and I certainly couldn't shed a tear. I think the only think I felt that day was puzzlement and relief. I wondered how it was that Auralee had this family who cared about her and relief that her beatings had ended.

Nick and Edie Hale introduced themselves to me. They told me who they were and said I looked a lot like my mother. I told them that Rosie looked a lot more like her, but she wasn't at the funeral, because Royce's mother said that it would be too scary for her.

Edie wanted to meet Rosie so badly but Royce said no, that it would be too much for her because she was so traumatized. I noticed that the whole time Edie was talking, Nick Hale never spoke to Royce and barely even looked in his direction, his only conversation was with me and Royce's mother. Even at that age, I recognized the look on his face; I knew that what I saw was a deep and abiding hatred for Royce. The same look that I was sure I had on my face as well. Nick Hale gave me his card and left. I held on to it and kept it safe, somehow knowing that I would need it one day.

Months went by and Royce got himself another girlfriend and spent most nights out of the house, leaving us to the care of the house servants. I was never so happy in my whole life. Rosie was happier and she started to behave like any other little girl, she was no longer silent because Auralee wasn't there to tell her to stop singing or dancing, she didn't have to be quiet for daddy anymore. The only thing is she would sneak in my bedroom at night to sleep with me. She said that she was afraid of the boogeyman, but I know her boogeyman was Royce. And she was terrified that he would come after us and throw us down the stairs too. Every single night she would wake up sweating and crying, screaming for him to stop hurting her mommy.

Royce and the girlfriend eventually broke up, and once again, he started sleeping in the house and drinking heavily. Rosie would beg me to get up and check the lock to make sure he couldn't get in my bedroom."

"Poor Rosie, poor you. Jasper, my god, how did you survive living with a killer?"

"Alice, one thing abusers never prepare for is that someday the child they beat will grow up and fight back. That's what happened on the night that Royce decided to kick in my bedroom door and drag Rosie out of the bed by her hair. I swear if he had pulled on my hair, I probably wouldn't have fought back so hard, but because he picked on Rosie, I don't know, I just lost it.

I fucked him up, Alice. I mean I beat the shit out of him. He was a big man, but he was angry and drunk, so his reflexes were off. I was only fourteen, but I was already pretty tall and I had acquired some muscles from being on the freshman football team, and I used the fucking bat. Royce and I probably would have been evenly matched but I had years of rage on my side. When it was all over and I was standing over his unconscious body, I heard a noise and looked up. Royce's mother was standing there, staring at me, the maid had telephoned her. I must've been a sight, I tell you; I was covered in blood, mine and his. She screamed, "You little bastard, you killed my son. I hope they hang you from the highest tree." Then she told the maid to call the police.

I probably would have run away right then and there, except Rosie was clinging to me and crying. I couldn't leave her with those devils. The ambulance came and then the police. I was arrested but before I was taken away I heard the medic say that Royce was alive and that he would more than likely be fine. He had a broken nose and jaw and some fractured ribs. He looked bad, but it was mostly bruising.

After the police booked me I asked about my one phone call, and I called Nick Hale.

He flew to Texas the following day and he posted my bail. I told him that I couldn't go back home, they wouldn't want me; he understood and he got a suite. We sat there in that hotel room and I told him the whole story. Everything, including the way Rosie had described the night Auralee died."

"Good, I hope he got them to put him away, for life."

Jasper shook his head "No. He wanted to, believe me he did. He was livid. He wanted Royce to pay for his crime against his daughter, but I was furious. I told him more than anything I wanted Rosie out of there. Think about it. Who would have gotten custody if Royce was in jail? His mother and father that's who. And I knew they would take it out on me and Rosie. In the end Nick spoke with Royce's mother and father. He told them what he knew about the circumstances around Auralee's death and threatened to work with the DA to reopen an investigation. If they didn't want their family name dragged into the mud they should try and convince Royce to relinquish his parental rights to both Rosie and me.

They knew Judge Nick Hale would be able to unearth a lot of evidence against Royce and bring the case to the media. Even if Royce eventually got off, the family's reputation would suffer; so he convinced them and they convinced Royce. I got Rosie out of there and that's all I cared about. I really didn't care whether or not Royce paid for his crimes."

She gasped. "Oh Jasper, you must care, just a little. You, Rosalie and your mom suffered so much. Didn't you want justice?"

"I learned at an early age that life isn't just. There's no fairness to it. Auralee, who never hurt a fly, had thirteen years of abuse. Where is the justice in that? Royce Whitlock is alive and well, soon to celebrate his eightieth birthday. Edie died of breast cancer before she could enjoy her golden years. Nick Hale, my only father, and the best man I've ever known, is suffering from dementia in a nursing home. How is that fair?"

"I guess it isn't is it?" Alice wiped the silent tears that flowed down her cheeks. He was right, life wasn't fair to her father, her mother or Mike.

"No, not at all. Anyway at least we got out, managed to move on with our lives. I started high school in San Francisco, I pretty much kept to myself, at school and at home. It was easier for Rosie I guess. She could accept the love that Edie and Nick showered on her, as for me I didn't want anything to do with love. I heard Auralee talk of love for that rotten bastard, and I hoped never to fall in love, not if it would leave me without the will to love myself. I never wanted to have someone love me either, and I never wanted to have children. I never wanted to repeat that nightmare of having a family and reliving that hell."

"That's why you told me that you don't do love? Because that's how you think it will be for you?" She reached out and caressed his cheek, wanting to tell him he deserved more, but not knowing how to do that without leading him on.

Jasper grabbed the hand she'd touched him with and held it in his own. "Yeah, I was seriously screwed up Alice, probably still am. The only difference between then and now is that I _have_ fallen in love. And I tell you it hasn't been easy. You've made me feel the best I've ever felt in my life, but lovin' you has meant that I've also felt pretty shitty at times too. You got me by the balls, babe. I don't know if I hate being in that position or love it, but it doesn't matter really. The truth is, that's where I am, caught up in you. And you haven't been fair either."

"What do you mean?"

"You never gave me a chance. You're still not giving me one. You blow hot and then cold. You threaten to walk out of my life every chance you get. And I've tried in every which way to please you, and you never give an inch."

"Jasper, maybe once upon a time I could have loved you. But you shut the door. And I don't feel regret over that, because after you I found true love. And I fell in love and that's where I still am."

"You've said that and I understand. What I can't understand is you not even entertaining the possibility of a future with someone again, namely, me."

She shook her head despairingly, wondering if he will ever get it. "Jasper, I'm not there yet. Maybe I will be, next month or next year or maybe never. But I'm not ready to lock Mike away in some part of my heart. Can't you just try to understand that?"

"So you're saying, maybe, _maybe_, sometime down the line. Or maybe never, is that what you want me to accept? Those measly crumbs of a perhaps future?"

She took both his hands in hers as they sat on the bed facing each other over the remnants of their bed picnic."I'm not asking you to accept anything. I'm only telling you what I can and cannot give at _this_ moment in time. I'm not saying "yes", I'm not saying "no", and I'm not saying "maybe". I'm saying at this moment I don't see it happening. That's all I have to say, Jasper, that's all."

He closed his eyes and breathed quietly for long minutes. Finally his eyes opened and she looked into the deepest blue ocean of him and saw that he was giving in.

"I love you. And I'll wait. Weeks, months, years for you. I won't push you, but I won't give up. I'll give you time and in the meantime, I plan to show you that I'm worthy of you and your love."

Alice kissed Jasper deeply. "Thank you." she whispered after breaking away.

He held her tightly to his heart, she felt it beating hard and strong under her cheek."I'll be here for you, always, I hope you know that. And I'll never hurt you."

Stroking his chest, feeling his love she had to reassure the little boy in him. "You're not like him, you know."

"I know." he nodded.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Seventeen

"Are you okay on your own? I'm sorry I won't be here, but I've delayed my Seattle meeting long enough; I have to be there by tomorrow evening.." Jasper told Alice as they ate dinner in the hotel dining room on Wednesday night.

"Jasper, I told you that I'm fine. I've dealt with the start of a project and inspectors before and I don't know why you're so concerned."

"This is Texas, darlin', not California. Things are done differently here."

"Look I can handle it, if I have any problems I can't solve, I'll call."

"Fine. I can always send Harry C. out, if you need him."

"Don't piss me off, okay? I'm just as capable as he is, and you know it. I told you that I can do it. Jeez Louise, you'd think I never had a project on my own before."

"But Harry is from Texas, and he's had projects here before. It's not that I don't think you're capable, you are. I wouldn't have given it to you if I didn't think so, but it's not you that's the problem, it's them. "Good ole boys" you know, they network and have their own way of doing things. Trust me it may turn out to be a little difficult. They may try to talk around you, make you feel like the "lil lady", who doesn't know anything. And you may get your dander up and that'll be all kinds of bad."

"Jasper, I thrive on being the "lil lady", don't you know? I always count on the kindness of gentlemen to help me. It'll be fine."

"If you say so."

"I say so. Jasper, you know one thing I'm gonna miss when I get back to San Francisco?"

"What?"

"Yo Texas twang. It's jus so dorable, and mighty sexy. I hate that yo're gonna lose that."

"Well, we don't have to lose that. How 'bout we do some role playin'. I'll be the cowboy and you'll be the city gal. I'll show you how to rope and tie and ride hard."

"Why suh, I think you've already shown me the ridin' part, I'm mighty familiar with that."

"Well it's been so long that I can't remember. What say we do a little role playin' tonight?"

She shook her head. "I don't reckon so, cowboy."

"Why not? It's been five days. You're period is done."

"Shh. Can we talk about this somewhere less public?" She whispered, embarrassed. "Maybe later on, upstairs in your room."

"Fine."

#

After dinner, Alice left Jasper to handle the bill and returned to her room to pack her overnight bag; but afterwards she stayed in her suite, dithering, not sure whether or not she should go upstairs to Jasper's suite . Eventually she heard a knock on her door and went to let him in.

He wasn't in the best mood, his jaw was clenched and his eyes were narrowed and watchful when he brushed by her. He didn't even bother to sit down, he stood there and asked her, "What is it Alice? Why can't we make love?"

She walked over to the mini-bar to get something, her throat was dry. "Would you like something to drink, water, juice, soda?" she asked him.

He shook his head. "Alice, I don't want a drink, I want an answer. Why can't we make love?"

She took a long swallow of her ginger ale. "Because I don't think it's how we should proceed with this thing, whatever it is, between us."

"You mean this relationship? Because that's what it is; this is a relationship, one that I'm more than ready for."

"I know that, but we talked about this before. _I'm_ not ready, not yet.'

"You said that you weren't emotionally ready to move on. You said that you're still in love with your husband. But you never said that we couldn't have a sexual relationship."

"Maybe I didn't make it clear, then. I want us to start slowly. Take our time. I'm not going to say no to sex forever, just not right now."

'But why the hell not? You like it, you love it, you love what I do to you. And I love what you do to me, how you make me feel. Why can't we have that?"

"Because, we did it that way before; and I told you, after a while it made me feel cheap."

Jasper held her arms, bending to look into her eyes. "But it's different this time. I've told you how I feel. I love you, very much, babe. There's no one else, there hasn't been anyone else for two years, Alice. I wasn't lying when I told you I haven't slept with anyone since the night you told me you were getting married. That was the night when I realized that I loved you and wanted you, only you. You are the most important woman in the world to me. I value everything about you; your creativity, your intelligence, your wit, your beauty, your kookiness. So how the hell can making love with me make you feel cheap? Did you feel cheap after we made love on Friday?"

"No, I didn't. But nevertheless, I want to take it slowly. Jasper, I know you have needs, I have them too, but I think it'll be better for us in the long run, if we do this gradually." She pulled out of his arms, walking over to the window, needing the space so that she didn't cave.

Jasper was getting even more upset, he marched over to where she stood. "Why? Huh? Why? Out of some misplaced loyalty to your dead husband?" Alice choked on her soda and he continued. "I don't think he'd want you to do that, do you?"

She recovered her breath, clenched her fists and gritted out. "You know nothing about him, nothing. So don't even talk about him okay?"

"I'm talking about you, Alice, you. What are you saving yourself for? He's not coming back."

A wave of sadness hit her, her tears came quickly and spilled over her lashes; surprising both her and Jasper. "You don't think I know that? I don't need you to tell me to face reality, I face it everyday. I'm just not ready. I don't know when I will be. I love Mike. I miss him so much, so much. I close my eyes and I see him. Sometimes I think I can even smell him. Not his cologne, but his scent, him. And I want him, so badly. I still ache for him." And she broke down in heaving sobs.

Jasper reached out and folded her into his arms, hating himself for making her feel this sad. "I'm sorry, Alice." he crooned as he rocked her side to side.

After a while she calmed down and sighed. "It's okay. I know what you want, but I need time. Believe it or not, more than anything I don't want to betray _you_. I don't want to use you as a substitute for him. It's not fair to you or to me."

Jasper paled and swallowed hard before asking, "Are you saying that's what you did? That's what Friday was all about? You used me as a substitute for him?" he asked quietly.

"No. Friday, was all about you and me, I didn't think about Mike at all. But there are times when I do think about him and miss him. I miss his holding me and being there. And it would be so easy, it has been so easy, to drift into that with you. But I want to want _you_, Jasper Hale. I want to give us a good chance of making it. Time for me to know that it is you I want, and not just someone to replace Mike. Please try to understand."

He was getting worked up again, and started pacing like a tiger. "I think this is such bullshit. You're always asking me to understand you. Why can't you try to understand me? I've waited for you for so long. And I want you so badly. I've already said that I'm willing to wait for you to feel like you're able to love me. But I don't want to wait for the physical part of our relationship to begin. There is no reason to wait. I know that together we are perfect, why don't you just want to start with that?"

"Because I want to feel more for you than lust; I want more substance than just doing it." Alice implored him to understand.

He stopped in front of her, touching her cheek gently. "But we have more, Alice. We have a friendship of almost three years. We care about each other, I've been there, through thick and thin, loving you every step of the way. For me it's not just lust, it's love. I want to take care of you and have you take care of me. I want to hold you in my arms and listen to your stories and _your _memories, the way you've listened to mine. And I want to build new memories with you…"

Alice reached for his hand to squeeze it in hers. "But we can do that, Jasper. We don't need to have sex to do that."

"…and I know you feel more than lust for me. You said you love me as a friend, and you trust me. You respect my work ethic, you respect my ideas..."

She nodded her head in agreement. "I do, but Jasper I'm just getting to know another side of you. I know precious little about your personal life, other than what you've recently told me about your childhood."

"So that's the criteria? Getting to know more about me?" He asked gently, trying to figure out from her words just what it was that she wanted. "I'll tell you everything, open myself up completely."

She shrugged, "Maybe. Jasper, I'm flying by the seat of my pants here. I don't have all the answers, I just don't want to jump in to sex for the wrong reasons and screw up our friendship."

He huffed, wondering why it seemed as though they were running around in circles, chasing their tails. "Why are we back to this? I thought we were past all this. My friendship is here to stay. I like you, and I love you. Sex won't change that."

"Then not having sex shouldn't change that either. I just think that we have to go forward carefully, for both our sakes."

"Alice you will drive me crazy, you are driving me crazy. I want you, you want me. You know it and I know it. You're trying to control something that can't be controlled." He grabbed her and pulled her to him, running his hands down the length of her body, pressing her closer than close.

Again she pulled out of his arms. "Just give me time. You just want some, because you're leaving tomorrow. It'll be like a last hurrah, or one for the road or something to remember you by. It won't be satisfactory."

"Oh yes it will."

"When I get back to San Fran next week, we'll have more time, to talk and be together."

He blew out a tired breath, and with shoulders sagging turned towards the door. "Whatever. Goodnight, Alice. I'm going to bed. You've well and truly worn me out."

"Jasper." she called and he turned around. She held up her little overnight bag. "Do you want some company?"

He shrugged. "Sure why not? It's not like I have much choice, do I?"

"Sure you do. You can say no." She said softly, hoping he wouldn't.

"No, Alice, you don't get it do you? I can't say no to you. I'll take whatever's on offer; I want you, any way I can get you." And he smiled at her.

"Jasper, I'm not trying to play hard to get or make you suffer. I'm trying to do it right this time. I promise I want only to make sure that I don't wind up hurting you."

"You _are_ hurting me Alice." He practically shouted. "I've got fucking blue balls."

She giggled. "Just rub one out in the shower before coming to bed."

His voice dipped and he husked out, "I've got a better idea. Why don't you do that for me?"

She giggled again. "No, because that would be having sex with you."

"No it wouldn't, a hand job isn't sex." he wheedled.

"Of course it is."

"Nope." he insisted.

"Is oral sex, sex?"

"Yes."

"But not a hand job?"

"No. Alice, is masturbation sex?"

"Maybe, I don't… no it isn't."

"Well, a hand job is masturbation done by another person."

She laughed. "Did you go to law school?"

"Nope, just the school of common sense."

"Well, you know what they say about common sense, don't you? It's never common and rarely sensible."

"Who said that?"

"I think I just made it up, isn't it genius?"

"Nope, it's not. Let's just go to bed." and he held the door open for her.

"I thought you'd never ask."

#

Up in his bedroom, Jasper took a shower first while Alice took off her make-up and retrieved a tank top and boy short jammies from her bag. When Jasper came out of the bathroom wrapped in nothing but a white towel, her heart beat just a tiny bit faster. _Why am I here in his room? _She asked herself._ This is like playing with fire. _But she kept her cool and walked by him to use the shower. She felt like rubbing one out herself, feeling the tension mount in her lower pelvis. She tried hard and pushed all thoughts of sex and Jasper out of her mind, concentrating on tomorrow's meeting with Glenn Burnett and his son, when she heard the bathroom door open and close.

"Jasper?" she inquired, seeing his out of focus image through the wavy glass of the shower door. "Did you need something?"

He grunted his response, "Yes, you."

"What?" she gasped out.

"Just stand there and touch yourself, babe. I'll take care of the rest." he groaned out.

"Oh god, Jasper. Don't tell me you're going to..."

"You suggested it."

"I was joking."

"I wasn't. Now just be quiet and wash yourself. Slowly. Rub the soap over your breasts, baby; touch your tits, the way I would touch them if I could." His voice led and she followed. "Put your hand between your legs and touch that sweet pussy for me." he growled. "Rub your fingers slowly against your litte clit, that's it. Up and down, slowly; press a little harder now, darlin'. Oh yes, I want to touch your pussy. I want to tongue it, lick it up, and lick it down." He groaned and Alice heard him pleasuring himself on the other side of the glass. He was too far away for her to make out what he was doing, but she could hear him groaning.

Alice moved closer to the glass pressing her front lightly to it. Her hand still beteen her pussy lips, but her nipples right there for him to see. "You want a little suck and fuck?" her husky voice invited .

"I want to suck those pretty red hots, baby. I want to bite and lick. I want to suck them until your pussy tingles, hot for me. Then I want to lick that sweet, sweet cunt. Put my cock in you, hard."

She moaned, her heart beating double time. "Yes, baby. More, tell me more." She was close to the edge, she closed her eyes and imagined his face, the way he looks when he comes.

"Baby, right now, I want to fuck you so hard. I want to pick you up and ram my cock into that sweet, hot pussy, baby. Over and over again. I want to feel your juicy cunt squeeze around my cock. I want to come inside you."

As if in a frenzy, Alice moved her finger faster and faster over her clit. "Oh fuuuck." she trembled and cried out.

"Oh yeah, baby, that's it. Moan for me, tell me how much you want it, let me hear you come." Jasper said, as he groaned out his own orgasm.

Alice fell back against the tiled wall, recovering, her legs rubbery and weak. She heard Jasper breathing heavily on the other side of the glass.

After a couple minutes Jasper flung open the shower door and got in with her, pulling her into his arms. "Sweet fuck, baby. That was so fuckin' good." He kissed her deeply under the cooling rush of water, as they showered off together.

#

Jasper left the next morning. She wasn't even aware that he was awake until he sat on the side of the bed and shook her by the shoulder. "Alice, wake up, baby."

"Mmm, wad iz it?" She rolled over and mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

"I'm leaving, and I wanted to say good-bye."

"Goo-bye, Jasper." She turned her head when he leaned in closer. "No don't kiss me on the lips, morning breath."

"Well either get up and brush your teeth, or kiss me with morning mouth, woman."

"Hold on." She ran to the bathroom and scrubbed vigorously and then gargled with mouth wash. She came back out, striking a pose with her arms on either side of the bedroom door. "Okay, handsome, I'm ready for that kiss."

He gave her a passion stirring kiss that curled her toes and left her wanting more. His tongue stroked her lips and when she opened he caressed her tongue with his, making her shiver. "Think about me when I'm gone, okay darlin'? Cause I'll be thinkin' of you." he whispered against her lips when he finally broke the kiss.

"I will. I'll call you tonight, to say goodnight."

"And I'll call you tomorrow to say good morning, how about that?" he promised.

"Sounds great", she grinned up at him, missing him a little already.

He took one hand in his and dragged her to the door and kissed her again.

The next few days in Austin were long and busy, busy, busy. But the nights were full of her and Jasper talking and laughing over the phone. By the time she headed back home on Monday night, she was eager to see him again.

When she got back to SFO, she had to take a cab. Bella couldn't pick her, up, she had taken some cold meds that left her groggy. On her way home she called Jasper, wanting to stop by to see him, only to find out that he was back in Seattle again.

"I'll see you next Monday, babe. As soon as I have that Monday meeting I'll be flying home to you." He promised. Bummer, she wouldn't be able to see him for a whole other week.

At home she settled back in after being away for almost a month, did her laundry and caught up on things around the house. Her sister was behaving strangely but Alice chalked it up to her adjustment after the painful break-up from her boyfriend. Said boyfriend had left her for a new love. Bella had planned her whole future around Chris; she even chose to go to culinary school with the idea that she would be able to cook and entertain Chris' friends and co-workers.

Secretly, Alice was more than happy that relationship was over. While she thought of Chris as a nice guy; she never thought that he and Bella were really a good match. He was quite cerebral, a nerd really, with few interests beyond his love of computers. Alice always thought of Bella as a little bit like "sleeping beauty", someone who was not quite aware of herself and the world around her; she seemed to drift so calmly through life, not quite living it. Alice hoped that someone would come along who would wake her up and make her live it.

Bella invited her to a performance the coming Saturday and she was thrilled to finally be able to set up Dave and her sister. Dave was a nice guy, just the perfect kid to help her get over Chris; they were the same age and he even looked a little bit like the ex. When she saw him at work the next morning she told him and he jumped at the chance to see the belly dancer in action.

So it came as a little let down to Alice when Bella asked her for advice about a new guy. It seems that her recent odd behavior had something to do with a new older man who was actively pursuing her. She met thirty- something, Edward Cullen, at the airport. He came on a little strong and she shot him down, something he apparently wasn't used to, but they met again in Napa at her friend Angela's party.

"How did he wind up there?" Alice asked

"Well at first he said he had me followed by a detective, then when I freaked he explained that he happened to be a weekend guest of Angela's neighbor. I don't know if I believe him though. It seems so coincidental."

"Coincidences do happen."

"Yeah, I guess. But at the party he cornered me and came on very strong. He started kissing me; then, Alice, he had the nerve to rub my nipples."

"Nipple touching, with the first kiss, huh?" Alice was intrigued by the guy. Bella was obviously, shaken out of her normally calm demeanor. Even in the retelling, Bella's cheeks were flushed and her eyes were excited.

"Then he put his hand, down there and started rubbing. I swear, I thought he would try to go all the way, right there by the river bank, where anyone would be able to see. It was as if he'd lost all control."

"You must have a powerful effect on the guy, Bell. Seems he was all lost in his own world."

"And the scariest part is tonight. I got out of my class and he was waiting for me?"

"Did you tell him where you work?"

"No. He asked Angela, who told him that I work at the restaurant and that I teach at the studio."

"Man, that's one persistent guy. You must have made quite an impression on him."

"I don't know. He seems so focused on me, you know; always staring, lots of sexual innuendos, double entendres, very smooth. If he wasn't so good looking I would think he was a creep."

"Mmm. How good looking is he?"

"Alice, if you see him I swear you'd gawk. He's just gorgeous, beyond good looking. He could be a model, bronze sex hair, bronze skin, piercing silver eyes, a sexy mouth and oh, his jaw is so masculine. Every woman, and I mean every woman, even the lesbians, were staring at him. You've met Tanya, Angela's cousin, right? She was swooning, and there's no bigger, badder dyke than that."

"Believe me, I remember Tanya; she used to follow me around in high school, leaving notes in my locker. That girl was so aggressive; she was on a mission to convert me. She didn't let up until Jake talked to her. So I'm surprised that she was smitten by the sexy Edward Cullen. I's gots to meet this hunk."

"Well you may get a chance. He says he's coming on Saturday to my performance."

"How did he find out about that?"

"I let it slip."

"Hmm. Freudian slip?"

Bella shook her head. "Alice, all kidding aside, what do you think? Do you think I'm just being uptight, trying to avoid him?" Bella asked her sister.

Alice smiled and asked her, "If you're attracted to him and he is attracted to you, which you both obviously are, why not give it a chance? If later on you find that he is a jerk or a nut job then you can break it off. It's not rocket science Bella."

"I know it's not rocket science, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't think that I can handle him, you know? He's older. He seems to be too, too sexual. And too forceful."

"Too sexual? All he did was kiss you Bella." Alice laughed out loud.

"What? Did I not make it clear? He fondled me! Intimately. And I get a feeling from him that he wants more and more and more."

"Well sure he wants more, what man doesn't? Don't be afraid. If you don't want more just end it. Tell him you're not interested. That's how it works." She laughed as she shut the door behind her and headed off to work.

"My baby sister is so naive, I hope that this guy will teach her a thing or two. It's about time she started living." Alice muttered to herself as she drove to the Bart. When she saw Dave later that day she gave him the bad news, they may be a day late and a dollar short, because Bella may have her eyes on a guy already. Dave took it in stride and asked if the invite to the belly dance was still good, he planned to invite some friends along. Alice was cool with that, glad that he wasn't too bummed.

She and Jasper talked on the phone that night and she told him all the gossip with Bella; she also told him that she had invited Dave to go out on Saturday. Jasper was not pleased and they had a bit of a tiff over it.

"I told you Alice, the guy will take this date the wrong way. When will you start listening to me?" He asked annoyed.

She snapped back. "I suppose when you say something worth listening to. I told you, I've put that behind us. I've explained to Dave and he has moved on. He's not the least bit interested in me."

"Yeah, right, and I have a bridge I want to sell you. You are so stubborn. And you know I hate it when you flirt. I've told you often enough.."

"You've told me no such thing. You've never indicated that you mind my flirting. You know it doesn't mean anything..."

"Well, Alice, on occasion, it does mean something. You flirted with me and we started an affair the same day…"

"You don't honestly believe that I've done that with anyone else…"

"No. But I still don't like it. Men view you in a certain way and it doesn't sit well with me."

"You never minded it before. I remember a few times when you seemed to enjoy the way other men look at me."

"Well, I don't now okay. Maybe, it's because I now know how easy it is to lose you. I prefer it if you don't flirt. Ever."

"My, my we're getting mighty possessive. I'm not going to change, babe, that's just who I am. I can't help it. It's like your killer smile and that delicious dimple that you have, you wouldn't be able to not show that if I asked you to stop, would you?" She tried to placate him with flattery, but he wasn't buying what she was selling.

"That's different and you know it. Alice, I've told you how I feel, and I'd like you to respect that enough to try and not flirt. I know it's second nature, but I'd like you to try."

"Okay, I'll try. If you'll try not to be so serious all the time, take it easy, babe."

He laughed. "Me, serious? You're the one always wanting to set rules in this. And this is the first time that I have told you what I would like and all of a sudden you accuse me of being too serious."

"You know what? I don't want to argue, I want to talk and have fun with you. Why don't you tell me how it's going up there in Seattle, hmm. And then tell me what we'll do when you get back home."

"I don't want to discuss this project, it's been a giant pain in my ass. But I do want to talk about us."

"Yeah? what about us?"

"I want you to meet my sister, Rosalie."

"Oh. You do?" Alice chewed her lip, not sure how she felt about this unexpected invitation into his life, when she'd been kept at arms length for so long.

"What's the matter? Don't you want to?"

"Sure, I do. I guess that I was caught off guard that's all. You so seldom talk about your family, I just assumed that you don't really hang out with them too much."

"I see Rosie and Emmett every weekend. I've even been known to babysit their little brats on occasion."

"Oh my god, that I've got to see." Alice giggled at the thought of cool Jasper, tearing around a house trying to rein in toddlers.

He laughed too. "Well, you probably won't, not after the last time, when they came home to a stopped up toilet. I doubt very much if they'll ask me to babysit again. But I've asked Rosie if I could bring you to dinner next Sunday, would that be okay?"

"Of course, I can't wait to meet her. They live not too far from me, so maybe I'll meet you there."

"Nope, Alice. This is a date. You're meeting Rosie and Emmett, for all intents and purposes, the only family I've got. I want you to know them and I want them to know you. You are my future, and I'm making that clear to you and to them."

"Oh, Jasper, I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. Let me just meet them as your friend, please?"

"No, Alice. I don't keep much from Rosie and I don't want to pretend that you are less to me than you are. Anyway, I'm sure that they know already, because you are the very first woman that I've ever asked to bring over to their house."

"Really? No family dinners with Sue?"

"No, babe. I told you Sue and I were not in a serious relationship. You are the only one I've ever envisioned a future with."

"What is your vision of the future with me?"

"I want to be with you, every day, for the rest of my life." He said softly.

"Partying on a yacht, when we're sixty?" She inquired teasingly.

"If that's what you want. But I think of you and me and babies."

"You do? I thought you never wanted a family."

"You make me want everything. Things I never thought I would want, I want with you." He told her, a catch in his throat.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Eighteen

"_You make me want everything. Things I never thought I would want, I want with you."_

"Oh Jasper!" Alice wasn't sure how she felt about this confession; suddenly Jasper was so serious, so open, so different than he had been before.

"Alice, no need to respond, it wasn't an ask and answer, just a declaration of intent. I'm just telling you how I feel.

"But this is so much, so soon." she whined, afraid to let herself think too much about what he wanted from her.

"Soon? I told you this is not soon. I've been in love with you for so long. Even when I thought you'd never be mine, I loved you. Maybe it's soon for you, but its been a long time for me. I can' take it if you push me away now."

"Okay. I won't say anything, for now, how's that? When will you be back here?"

"Monday evening."

"Okay, we'll talk then. A lot."

"Sounds like a plan. Bye, baby."

#

On Saturday night she and Dave went to the restaurant opening in Alameda. Bella was captivating, she looked even more sensual than usual. Dave was riveted, staring and almost salivating. "So, no wonder she has a guy."

"I don't know if she "has" a guy.", Alice answered using air quotes. "But she is more than a little interested in someone. As a matter of fact he might show up here tonight, or so he told her."

Dave glanced around, looking for the competition so he could size him up. His eyes landed on a tall, bronze-haired guy in the shadows of the short hallway that led to the back of the restaurant. _If that is the guy_, Dave thought to himself, _I have no chance_.

"Is that him?" He asked Alice and he gestured over to the guy.

"I have no idea." Alice answered. "I've never met him."

When Bella finished they both applauded and as she bowed and headed to the hallway. She stopped and spoke to man in question.

"Yup, that's him all right." Alice said, noting Bella's body language.

Seconds later Bella walked back to the offices and her guy came over.

"Hello, you must be Bella's sister." He introduced himself. "I'm Edward Cullen."

Alice shook his outstretched hand, "Yes, I'm Alice, this is Dave. Please sit down." He joined them and they were all laughing and talking in no time. A few minutes later Bella came over to join them. Alice knew, somehow she just knew, that Bell and Edward were going to be together.

After they left to go off to somewhere quieter, she and Dave waited for his friends to join them. His friends were young and fun-loving, and she had left that behind long ago, but she hung out and tried to have a good time, even if every so often her thoughts drifted to Jasper and what he had said to her.

Dave drove her home and she asked him to wait a little, the lights in the house were not on, but there was a strange car in the driveway, presumably Edward's.

After a few minutes waiting, Alice had made her mind up to brave the possible embarrassment of interrupting something intimate when she saw the front door open and Edward bending down to kiss her sister. She and Dave stared without shame at the two figures which melted into one silhouette in the light of the doorway; Edward and Bella locked in a smouldering embrace, leaving little question in Alice's mind that these two were lovers.

#

On Monday Alice dressed with extra care, knowing that she would be seeing Jasper later that day. Her apple green sheath with wide shoulder straps and perfect cut emphasized her curves and made her eyes more vividly green. She wore her hot pink wedge sandals and a matching wide hair band. Every time she thought about him her heart tumbled in her chest.

The day was a total loss work wise, she couldn't concentrate, couldn't get anything done. As it got later and later she thought of nothing but the possible outcomes of this thing between her and Jasper, and in her anxious mind none of it seemed good. What was she doing? _Why_, she asked herself, _am I even thinking of having another relationship with this guy? I have got to figure this out before I see him again_.

So she decided to leave early. Gathering up her laptop and some work, at three o'clock, she locked her office door and walked to the elevator. The doors opened and she stepped in, knowing only one thing for sure, that she needed a little breathing space. As the elevator descended, moving her farther and farther away from the office, she could feel herself relax more and more until by the time she reached the lobby doors she was almost completely at ease.

Walking out of the building and into the afternoon sunshine brought a sense of well-being that she had not felt upstairs, she breathed deeply and headed for the Bart. The weight of making a decision about her and Jasper melted away and she smiled to herself as she waited at the crosswalk. Then she glanced across the street and her eyes locked onto a pair of cobalt blue eyes that were dancing with happiness. When the light changed they walked towards each other meeting in the middle of the intersection. "I had a feeling that I would catch you running away." He said as he smiled and reached for her hand, leading her across to the other curb.

"You're awfully early." she accused him. "You're not supposed to be back until later."

"Yes, my meeting ended much quicker than I thought, so I grabbed the next flight home to you."

"Home? To me?"

"Yes, Alice. My home is wherever you are."

"Oh god. Where did you learn that?"

"What?"

"That sweet talk you trot out whenever I'm teetering on the brink.."

"Why are you teetering?" He smiled down at her, his eyes twinkling, looking content.

"I'm trying to maintain my balance, because if I fall over I'll drown."

He hugged her tightly to him as they stood on the busy sidewalk, uncaring that pedestrians were filing by. "Fall, baby. Fall into me, I promise it'll be okay."

He raised his hand and a taxi stopped at the curb. He helped her into it and walked around and entered on the other side. As soon as he was seated next to her he pulled her into his arms and kissed her passionately.

Alice pulled away, "Shouldn't we tell the driver where we're going?"

"12011 Filbert." He told the cabbie. Then he reached for her again and whispered against her lips. "We're going to my place. The first place we ever made love."

"Why?"

"To talk, to be with each other, and maybe to make love again."

"I don't think I'm ready yet."

"That's fine," he reassured her. "I haven't seen you in so long I just want to hold you, uninterrupted."

"That's all?"

"For now."

When they got upstairs to his flat, and he let her in, she was struck by the differences that had taken place since the last time she was there, two and a half years ago. "Wow, you've made changes."

"Yes, you like it?"

"I do." He had broken down some walls and made the space more open, sacrificing a bedroom to create a dining room that flowed from the enlarged living room. Extra wide pocket doors, that were indistinguishable from the original built-ins, opened from living room into the formal dining room. Not only had he changed the original floor plan, he'd also redecorated; the once bare bones masculine décor was now softened and had a retro nineteen thirties appeal.

"I like it very much. It seems to have had a woman's touch."

"Rosie helped a little, but it was mostly done by an interior designer who used some of my parents' furniture as a springboard for ideas. That sideboard over there was Edie's favorite, it came from her parents' house. The dining room table and chairs too."

"Oh it is very, very nice." Alice said, running her hands admiringly over the beautiful polished wood furniture. "Mahogany?"

"Yes." he nodded. "I've changed the bedrooms too, do you want to take a look?"

"Is that like asking me to take a look at your "etchings"?"

He laughed. "You know the way, you can go by yourself if you're too afraid of the big bad wolf."

She shook her head. "Lead on. I've never been afraid of you, I'm afraid of me." she said, and almost regretted her candor when she saw him smile.

"I know that. I've always known it. You feel for me, what I feel for you and neither of us were willing to admit it last time."

"What do you mean?" She asked as they reached his room.

"Very early on, I knew what I felt for you went way beyond what I've ever felt for any woman, but I was afraid to admit it to myself. And I think you felt the same way."

"I don't think so. I liked you, but it never went deeper than that."

"Because you wouldn't let it."

"Because _you_ wouldn't let it. You wouldn't let me know you."

"I think that I was afraid that if I gave myself over to how I felt about you, I wouldn't have much control. And I was right."

"How so?"

"Because I'll give you whatever you want, do pretty much anything you say, so that you can trust me and learn to love me; because I don't want to ever lose you again."

He bent his head and brushed his lips against hers. Speaking whisper-soft words, "I love you, I want you, I need you.' Against her lips.

"I want you too." She moaned against his.

"Do you want me right now?" He asked as he picked her up and carried her to his bed.

"Yes, it's all I've been thinking about since you left me in Austin."

"Me too, I've only thought about you. Your lips." He kissed her lips with lingering passion. "Your touch." He kissed her palms and placed them inside his shirt on his bare chest, pulling in a deep breath. "Your smell." He ducked his head and buried his face in the crook of her neck. "Your taste." And he started to kiss her from the curve of her shoulder, up the side of her neck, along her jaw until he reached her lips again. "I want to make love to you, feel you all around me, taking me and everything I have to give." And he kissed her again, harder this time, until her senses swam and she thought of only the pleasure his body would give her.

He pulled back from her. "Alice, take me into you. Let me love you, baby."

"Yes." she said, helplessly melting into the heat of his passion.

He rolled onto his back, pulling her to lay above him, covering his body with hers. His hands reached behind her for the zipper that ran along her spine, from nape to the curve of her bottom. As one hand tugged on the zipper, the fingers of the other hand reached inside and slid along the bones of her spine, playing the sensitive nerve endings until they reached the swell of her bottom.

He reached up and peeled the dress down her arms, until it was no more than a wad of fabric below her hips. He rolled her onto her back, hovering over her, trailing kisses down, down, from the paler skin between her breasts, to the tender flesh between her ribs, stopping to dip kisses at her navel and then to just above the lacy band of her hot pink panties. "I like this color on you Alice." He husked. "Reminds me of your little pink nub, here." And he pressed his chin down, gently rubbing side to side, massaging her clit through her silky underwear. She moaned and he laughed, pressing a kiss and then a gentle bite onto her pubic bone. "I need to see your pretty little pussy, Alice." And he pulled her panties aside, to lick his favorite spot. "You're so perfect, baby."

With both hands working deftly, it was only seconds later that he pulled her panties and her dress down her legs and tossed the garments aside, spreading her thighs apart to see, smell and taste her secret place.

He thumbed her flesh apart, running the tip of his tongue, up and over her folds, stopping at her clit to circle it lovingly. When she squirmed and moved her legs restlessly over the bed, he pushed her thighs even further apart, pushing her knees higher.

"Talk to me, baby. Do you like it?"

"Yees. I love it." She moaned. "Lick me, eat me. Then fuck me, hard." She begged.

"Oh yes, baby. I'm going to ride this little pussy until you scream."

Jasper pressed and licked her clit, diving down to run his tongue over her folds and into her cunt, circling and licking. Then back up to her clit, blowing and sucking until he drove her mad with tremors running through her flesh and into her bones. She panted, "Yes, like that, baby." Over and over until she pulsed with ecstasy.

Feeling her flesh give in he wanted inside, he wanted to be one with her, to share her pleasure and he knelt between her spread thighs and plunged his cock into her hot goodness. She moaned out, "Yeah, so good."

"Fuuck, Alice. Shit, you feel so mmm. Fuck, fuck, fuck." He said as he felt her wet surrounding him.

Her pussy clenched tight and he placed his arms under her thighs to bring her up higher and fuck her deeper. She moaned, and panted, "Harder, slam me baby, harder." And he plunged and rocked for endless minutes, until she let out the scream that signaled her complete and utter satisfaction. He rocked a few more times, sweat running down his back, pouring off him, onto her slick wet body, sliding and squirming in utmost pleasure under his. Then he felt it, the buzzing fire in his groin, the electric heat that ran through him and then out into her moist heat, and he couldn't hold back the roar of the beast in him, reaching the heights of orgasmic pleasure .

He held his body stiff above hers, until every last seed was sown, only then did he allow himself the ease of falling into her open arms.

He rolled off her with a deep masculine laugh. "God, I think I'm still coming." He said as he let out another low laugh.

She rolled onto her side, and kissed his shoulder and then his neck. "Hold me."

And he pulled her into his arms. "That was so good, baby. Even my dreams can't compare to how it is when we make love. We've always been so good together. I've never felt this charge with anyone else, Alice. Right after having you I think about the next time."

"Can we talk about something else?"

"Why? Why can't I talk about how good it feels to make love with you?"

"It's not that. I just don't want to go back to how we used to be. When we were seeing each other that's all you ever talked about: sex, food and work; nothing else."

"We're not going back to that Alice, I promise. But this is post-coital talk, it's de rigueur to discuss my love of your pussy." He laughed, not the least put out by her annoyance.

"I need a shower." She said and started to pull away from him.

"Let's bask in our sex and sweat for a little longer. Please don't be in such a rush to shower me off. By the way, you do know that I didn't use a condom."

"Yeah, I noticed you've been doing that. Why?"

"Because I want you to get pregnant."

She let out a big laugh. "When you give in, you give in all the way, don't you? We just started seeing each other again, are you crazy? Please wear a jimmy hat next time."

"Well, what about just now, is there a chance that you could be p…"

"Nope. I'm back on the IUD."

"Oh."

"But please wear a condom. It's safer."

"I'm not sleeping with anyone else, nor am I going to, so there is no question that I'm safe."

"Well, I'm thinking more about not getting pregnant. Nothing is one hundred percent, I'd like to double up on the protection."

"I like the feeling of being inside you without a condom. I prefer it if you didn't ask me to wear one." He had the audacity so smile at her.

"Well, I'm asking you to. Why should I take on the responsibility of protecting us?"

"You're not protecting 'us', you're protecting yourself. Against a pregnancy that I'm all for, so I don't want to wear one."

She got up off the bed and stood at the side, both hands resting on her hips. "You're nothing but a big baby, you know that? No condom, no pussy. That's final. Take it or leave it."

He pursed his lips into a thin line. "I'll take it. You see what I mean? I'm totally at your mercy. You're calling all the shots."

"As I should, it's my body. I'm going to take a shower," she announced, and as he rolled out of bed to follow her, she turned around and said, "Alone."

"What? Why?"

"You're going to try for the naked dance again in the shower, do you think I'm stupid?"

In two seconds flat, he grabbed her around her thighs and hoisted her over his shoulder, striding with her to the shower. "I'm man of my word, Alice. No more naked, until you say so."

He stepped with her into the shower stall and turned on the four jets, so that they were drenched from all sides.

"I like your new shower," she said. "It's very sensual."

Jasper reached for the soap to wash her off, but she took it from him. "I'll do it myself, no more sexing, I have to eat first."

"Later. First I want to take you somewhere that's very special to me."

"And it doesn't involve food?"

"No, but after I'll take you for some good Zagat rated eats, how about that?"

"Sounds good, but where are we going that's so important to you?"

"It's a surprise."

"Not even a hint?"

"No, I just need to call in to Charlotte at the office and then we can head out, okay?"

#

While Jasper was on the phone, Alice, wandered around the flat admiring the changes he had made. By the time he came back, she was engrossed in his photo albums.

"Hey, what are you doing with those?"

"I'm looking for a bit of you. Is this Rosalie?" Alice pointed to a picture of Jasper with his arm around the waist of a beautiful young woman, with hair the color of gold and silver and eyes as blue as his.

"Mmhm. That was taken on the day of my graduation from USC."

"And who is this?" She pointed to a voluptuous dark haired woman.

"Aida. My girlfriend at the time. She was at USC too. Architect."

"She is quite the bombshell."

"She was very attractive, yes."

"Mmm. Do you keep in touch?"

"No. What would be the point?"

"What? Was she one of those who wanted more?"

"Yes, I guess she was."

"And you broke her heart?"

"I don't take responsibility for broken hearts, Alice. Other than you, I've never promised anyone love."

"Still, I feel sorry for all the women you disappointed."

"How about the men you've disappointed? She who is without sin…"

"I never deliberately set out to hurt anyone..."

"Neither did I, Alice. I just didn't have it to give. And I was pretty honest about that."

"Yeah, I bet." she huffed.

"Alice are you going to hate me on their behalf? Are you looking for another reason to pull away from me?"

She shook her head. "You're right. I guess I'm just remembering how removed you were when I asked you if you love me. You were really cold, you know."

He pulled her up and into his arms. "I'm sorry. If it's any consolation I regretted that night, I suffered many times because of those words. I remember all the times when you were talking about Mike and how much you loved him, how I wished I could have gone back in time and stopped myself from saying those words to you."

"I'm sorry, Jasper. I don't mean to beat you up over it. I have no regrets. As I said, if things had been different with you, I may never have met Mike and believe me I am grateful for every second he and I had together. In a way your words did drive me away from you and made me not want to settle. I guess it made me ready for something more fulfilling. So you did me a big favor, Jasper, so don't ever regret it."

"Well, I do have regrets, because every time you talked about him I wished it was me that you loved; me that you married, me that you wanted to share your life with. And even though you were happy with him, I was in a lot of pain for many months."

"Until he was gone from my life? Oh my God! Are you happy that he's dead?" she asked him horrified.

"Alice for god's sake, what kind of question is that? Of course not. I would never have wished him dead, or for you to have endured the loss of your baby. What kind of person do you think I am?"

"I don't know why I said that, honestly. It's just that suddenly I felt uncomfortable about us, thinking that maybe you've been hoping and waiting in the wings for Mike and I to break up or something."

"Not at all! I thought I had lost you forever, I just didn't see any point in dating another woman, when you were all I wanted. I wasn't waiting in the wings. I knew you loved him and that you were committed to him for life. I had no hope at all."

"I think we should get going." She suggested, walking to the front door of the apartment. That claustrophobic feeling was enveloping her again.

"Sorry, I asked that." she said quietly, as they got into his car. He nodded and smiled at her. "Where are we going?" she asked him again.

"Somewhere special to me." he said mysteriously.

Jasper drove his yellow Porsche down Geary toward the ocean and stopped at 25th ave and made a right and then a left.

"What on earth are we doing here?"

"I used to come here all the time when I just moved here from Houston." He said as he parked.

"Where is here?"

"Just a little spot I found."

"Isn't this private property?" She said looking up and down the quiet street of small houses, not unlike her own little street across the bay.

"I don't think so. No one's ever told me to leave."

He grabbed her hand and tugged her. "Come on, we have to walk a little."

"Jasper I have on heels." she complained.

"Take them off." He bent down and she held on to this shoulders as he helped her to step out of her shoes. When he straightened he gave her a quick peck. "I like you like this, barefoot, au natural."

"Probably the first and last time, mister."

"I hope not. You've heard the phrase barefoot and pregnant. I'd like to see you like that." Alice did not answer. What could she say? He helped her up a steep grassy knoll and then she clambered over a big boulder.

"Oh my Gosh." She exclaimed

"Beautiful isn't it?"

"I can see Marin and the Golden Gate Bridge and even, is that China Beach?"

"Yep."

"Oh this is spectacular. Too bad it's hours until sunset."

"I know. But it gets a little crowded around that time. I'm glad we're here early."

"You're kidding? Other people know about this place?"

"Uh huh. Mostly people in the neighborhood."

"Sea Cliff? Is this where you grew up?"

"Yes, about two blocks up and a few blocks over."

"Show me."

"Show you what?"

"Your house, silly. The one you lived in with Nick and Edie."

"You really want to see it?"

"Yes, I want to see where you lived."

"Why?"

She shrugged. "I'm piecing together a puzzle."

"How can where I lived matter?"

"I'm a visual person, it'll add to my picture of you."

"Okay. But let's stay for a bit longer."

"Okay, until it gets nippy." The sat next to each other on a rock, Jasper took off his jacket and spread it for her to sit on. It was a peaceful place, far removed from the hustle and bustle of the city. She took a deep breath. "Why did you come here so often?"

"To think. I had left hell behind and I think it was very hard for me to get used to being treated normally. I had to consciously make myself stop being fearful. I also has to convince myself that I deserved the things that were being done for me."

"Have you ever seen Royce again?"

"Never. Not even when his parents died. Rosie and I refused to go to the funerals and the reading of the wills. I never wanted to see any of them again."

"Have you ever been back to see your mother's grave?"

"No. Auralee's not there. Just remnants of her body. She's in me and Rosie. We remember her."

"Why don't you call her your mother?"

"I needed the distance. I needed to make a new start. Nick was and is my father, Edie was my mother."

"How do you feel about Auralee? I get a strange feeling from you, almost as though…Did you love her?"

He shook his head. "No, I didn't. I think I resented her for a long time, after I left Texas. I had so many questions. Why didn't she fight back? Why didn't she leave? Why didn't she call Nick and Edie like I did? I couldn't understand or forgive her for taking the abuse and allowing us to live through it, especially after I found out that she had a family to lean on. It wasn't until years later that I came to grasp just how young and vulnerable she was when she married Royce; just sixteen. She'd had only four years living with Nick and Edie; before that, who knows what she went through. I suspect she suffered physical abuse when she was very young; because she accepted Royce's treatment of her so willingly, she gave herself over to it. I think Royce beat her because he knew he could get away with it. So, after many years, I came to forgive her; but my understanding came too late for me to feel more than pity for her."

"That is just so sad!" Alice said. "Poor unloved Auralee."

"Nick and Edie loved her. Rosie loved her."

"But not you?"

"No." he said. "Are you ready to go?" he asked her.

She nodded and followed him back down the path to the car. Alice felt like crying, for Auralee and for Jasper. As they drove away she couldn't help but ask him, "Do you think she loved you?"

He sighed heavily. "I don't know. I don't think so. How can you love someone and not care when they are hurting?"

"Who says she didn't care? Maybe she cared, but didn't feel capable of stopping it." Alice answered, feeling the need to make Jasper realize that his mother cared for him.

"Maybe." Jasper said. "It doesn't matter now, does it?"

"I think it does. Fundamentally we are grounded in the love we have for our parents and those who gave us life. I do understand why you can't care for Royce, but not why you can't care for Auralee."

"I've been over this with my therapists for years, Alice. I just don't feel that way for her. I can't make it any clearer than that."

"I don't think you can love me then. That 'mother love' is so fundamental. It's how we learn to love others. And you even admitted that you never felt that love for Edie either. Just gratitude for her niceness."

"Well I disagree with you, I am capable of love. Sure I never felt that love for a mother, but I have loved. I love Rosie and Emmett and my niece, Emma and my nephew, Zach. And I do love you, very much."

"I wonder if you even know what love is."

Jasper pulled over and parked the car; turning in his seat to face her, he cupped her face between his large hands. "I'm sorry that I'm not perfect, Alice. I'm sorry that I had such a rotten life. I'm sorry that I don't have a big, extended, loving family to offer you. But no matter what else you think of me, I know how to love. And I do love you. I know I need to convince you of it, and I have every intention of doing that." he gave her a kiss and started the car again.

"You told me that she told you to be good so that Royce wouldn't beat you. So she cared enough to console you."

"I suppose she may have. But I was still getting beaten and she did nothing to stop it."

"She was a victim too. She never hit you?"

"No."

"Did she ever intervene, when he was hitting you?"

"No. I tell you , she accepted it as though we deserved it."

"Did you ever intervene when he was hitting her?"

"No. Are you kidding? Usually I was trying to make myself as small as possible so he wouldn't see me."

Her heart squeezed with pity, thinking of that frightened little boy trying to hide.

#

Later on Jasper took her out to dinner at the Cliff House, where they dined as they watched the sun set over the Pacific. Something was nagging at the back of her mind and she just had to bring it up. "Jasper, do you feel guilty? About not saving Auralee?"

"Yes. Especially after I came here. Sometimes I used to think I could have saved her. If I'd had the courage like I did that night when he tried to beat on Rosie, maybe Auralee wouldn't have died."

"I don't think you should feel guilty. You were a kid. You couldn't have saved her if she didn't want to be saved. You couldn't have done anything. You probably would have gotten yourself killed. Imagine if you had beaten Royce while your mother was alive, you probably would have gone to juvie, and God knows what would have happened to you in there. You would have been at the mercy of all the horrors the system has to offer." She shuddered and reached up to stroke his cheek wanting to wipe that sad look from his face. "Please don't have regrets, Jasper. Mike once told me something so profound. When I told him that I wished we had met sooner, he said you can't have regrets, things happen as they are meant to happen, and that's when things work out. I've been thinking that Rosie saved you. She gave you something to fight and live for."

"Yes, I guess you're right. I always thought that I saved her, but I didn't save her, she saved me."

"You saved each other. And I can't wait to meet her."

"Believe you me, she can't wait to meet you either. Emmett's whetted her appetite."

Alice raised a brow, wondering what on earth Emmett's said to Rosie. "What do you mean, whetted her appetite?"

"Well, since I told her I wanted to bring you to dinner, she's always calling me with questions. Asking what you like to eat…"

"Tell her I'll eat anything, except calamari."

"… about what you like to do for fun…"

"Eat, drink, dance, gamble, vice, the usual hi jinks."

"...about when and how we met…"

"Oh, okay, that's a toughie…"

"…about your husband…"

"What has she asked about him?"

"She asked if I knew him. How he died. Stuff like that."

"Oh."

"Yeah, ohh."

"Nosey isn't she?"

"Given our background, wouldn't you be? Believe me when she met Emmett, I had him investigated."

"Nah! Really?"

"Yes, really."

"He was right. He said if you didn't approve there was no way Rosie would marry him."

"Yes, he was right. My sister is too important for me to trust her future to any jackass that came along."

"Hmm and Rosie feels the same? She thinks she has to look out for you?"

"I guess so."

"So, I'm meeting the big Kahuna, huh?"

"Yes."

"Should I bring a peace offering? Wine?"

"Rosie doesn't drink at all."

"Chocolate cake?"

"She's a vegan, a raw food aficionado."

"Oh hell no! We're going to In 'n Out after, right?"

"I'm joking. She loves to eat. Chocolate cake, chocolate anything will win her over."

"Great, I'll get Bella right on it. She'll make a black forest cake your sister will die for! Yum!"

#

On Sunday, armed with a Bella Swan Black Forest Cake, Alice went to meet the big Kahuna.

The Big Kahuna, was actually not that big and had the all the outward appearance of being a harried mom. Her silvery blonde hair was spilling from a sloppy bun, and she almost had on a pretty pink sheath dress. As she opened the door of the mediterranean-style house she smiled and turned around. "Zip me up?" she asked over her shoulder. Jasper did his duty with all the aplomb of someone who'd done the chore a zillion times before. Rosie swung back around to face them. "Just pretend you didn't see that, Alice." And she grabbed Jasper's hand in her right, and Alice's in her left. "It's so nice to meet you. Come in, come in." she said breezily as she tugged at them. "Welcome to the nut house, Alice. Jasper here talks about you all the time. "

"Only when you call my office with prying questions..."

"I can't shut him up." She said cutting him off rudely. "Welcome to Chez McCarty. On our menu tonight is Pot Roast a la Emmett, with red potatoes and glazed carrots. A spinach salad and your wonderful chocolate cake for dessert." And she took the cake from Alice's outstretched arms. "Looks yummy."

"Oh it is, because I had nothing to do with it." Alice and Jasper followed her into the kitchen, where the smells were amazing.

"I had nothing to do with dinner either. Emmett cooks. That's why I married him."

Alice laughed, "Good for you."

"Give me your sweater, ohh what a pretty dress!" Rosie exclaimed, looking at the black velvet surplice bodice and the white net skirt that was scattered with little black velvet stars.

"Thanks, I made it myself."

"No way!You're lying!"

"Okay, I am lying. I got it at Nordy's."

"Oh, it's adorbs, now turn around, let me see the back." Alice turned to show off the plunging v-shaped back that ended in a black velvet bow at the bottom of her spine. "I love it."

"Okay, enough, can we move on?" Jasper interjected with an exasperated sigh. "Where's that husband of yours and your offspring?"

"Oh, he's getting them out of the tub. Go ahead, your niece and nephew await." Rosalie, waved her brother out the door and grabbed Alice's arm and whispered to her, "I'm so happy to finally meet you. Emmett raved about you after he met you on the flight. I was almost getting jealous until Jasper invited you to dinner. Are you and he, you know, getting it on?"

"What the hell?" Alice gurgled out, in a shocked exclamation, choking on the glass of white wine that Rosie had pressed into her hand.

"Are you and my brother swapping spit, and other fluids?" she said with a conspiratorial wink.

"Eww. Now that's just gross."

"Sorry, I'm so juvenile. I don't know how to do this, this best girlfriend stuff. Never had one, girls never seemed to like me."

"Me neither."

"Get out! I only had guy friends."

"Me too!"

"So I kinda have a guy mouth. I talk a lot like an uncouth dickhead kind of guy."

"Now, there's where we part company." Alice faked a cockney accent. "I tawk like a lydy." She smoothed her hand over her skirt and tilted her chin up snobbishly."

"Oooh. Is that wha a lydy sounds loyk? I can do that too." Rosie and Alice walked into the living room, side by side. "Look at me, I'ma lydy."

All four faces, two adult and two sleepy toddlers, looked up at them questioningly. Without skipping a beat, Alice shrugged and said, "I have no idea what she's saying, she just started talking like this and freaked me out." And then she sauntered over to sit down next to Jasper who was holding eighteen-month old Emma on his lap.

Rosie gasped and laughed out loud. "Jasper, why have you been keeping my BFF from me all this time?"

Alice smiled as Jasper gaped at Rose. "See Jasper, the Big Kahuna loves me."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Nineteen

The five faces on the couch stared at Rosie with expressions ranging from concern and confusion to teasing amusement.

Rosie started to laugh and laugh, staggering to a chair to sit down. "Alice, you're a fiend!" she gasped between gurgles.

Emmett piped up first, "See, I told you she was just perfect for him."

"You did, indeed, sweetie. Good call." Rosie replied, when she calmed down. "So, Alice, how long have you know, been diddling my big bro?"

"Hey wait a minute…" Jasper interrupted Rosie's interview.

"Umm, Jasper…" Alice's voice coincided with Japser's, she was more than a little bit unsettled by Rosie's forthrightness.

The two of them sitting on the couch turned to each other and then halted in unison. Jasper recovered first. "It's okay Alice, I'll handle her. Rosie you promised that there wouldn't be an interrogation. If you continue, we're leaving."

"What?" Rosie spluttered, suprised by the protective ferocity in Jasper's voice. She's only ever heard him use that tone in defense of her. Rosie was instantly aware that Jasper was in love with Alice. In love and as protective as a lion in defense of his mate.

Alice jumped in to defend Rosie. "It's okay, Jasper."

Then she turned to Rose. "Rosie, I understand your need to know, believe me I do, but right now… is… well it's pretty…hard to..expl..." her voice trailed off as she searched for a diplomatic way to tell Rosie that this was very new for her.

Jasper waded in, trying to rescue Alice from her own uncertainty. "What Alice is trying to say is we are..."

"If you give me a chance, I can say what I'm trying to say." Alice snapped at him, a little annoyed that he hadn't prepared her for this.

Emmett and Rosie looked at each other and smiled, knowingly. Then Rosie smiled like an angel at Alice, and spoke softly and with understanding. "Forget it. Alice I'm sorry. I didn't mean to put you on the spot. I'm just so happy to meet you and, to tell you the truth, I feel good about this. Whatever is going on is making my big bro here happy and I like it. I like you. And I don't want to scare you away so…"

"Don't start." Emmett warned as he closed a bearlike paw around her shoulder.

"...So, I'll just let it go. I won't force you to talk about Slim over here, but if you ever want to know anything, come to me..." she winked.

Alice was really liking this woman. "Really? Well I do have some ques..."

"Oh no you don't." Jasper said. "I'll answer any question you might have. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, ask Rosie anything. She will embellish to the point of lying."

Rosie guffawed. "I do not embellish. I'll tell you all his secrets, that's what he's afraid of."

"Rosie, I have no secrets from Alice." Jasper said quietly, and again Rosie was pleasantly surprised by her brother.

"That's great, Jasper." She looked from Jasper to Alice, bemused and enchanted that her brother had found love at last to light his way.

Emmett interrupted "Let's eat." Emmett stood up and hoisted his son up onto his shoulders. "Ready to eat big guy?

"Me hungy," Zachary said

Jasper stood up with Emma in his arms. "I think this little one is too tired to eat."

"Nonsense." Rosie said. "Give her here."

Emmett and Rosie walked into the dining room, leaving Alice and Jasper trailing in their wake. "Well that was a harrowing experience." Alice whispered.

"Don't feel bad. Rosie's just curious. She didn't mean to pry."

"Yes, she did." Alice laughed. "But that's okay. I was just caught off guard."

Jasper pulled her into his arms and gave her a kiss. "I'm really happy that she likes you." he whispered.

"I know you are. And I like her, too."

By the time they walked into the dining room Rosie had snapped Emma into her high chair and Emmett was bringing in the pot roast. "Do you need help? Alice offered.

"Thanks." Emmett answered gratefully, "the sides are on the counter…"

"No, Alice, you sit there." Rosie piped up, pointing at the dining room chair across from hers. "You're the guest. Jasper can you please help Em bring in the food?"

Jasper and Emmett went to do her bidding

"You have to teach me that." Alice smiled

"What?"

"He- male management."

Rosie replied with a twinle in her eye. "I'm sure you know all about it Alice. You don't fool me. You have Jasper wrapped around your finger."

"No, I don't. he just wants you to think that."

Rosie laughed. "No you do. I see it in his eyes, he's a marshmallow where you're concerened. He'll do back flips to please you."

Alice gurgled with laughter. "I'd like to see the day. Jasper has an agenda, believe me. It's all part of the act."

Suddenly Rosie became serious. "Oh it's no act, Alice. He's all the way gone on you. I've only seen that look in one other person. Em. It's love Alice. He loves you."

"Hmm?" Alice rolled her eye a little, preferring to keep quiet on the subject.

"Believe me, he's guarded his heart his whole life, but now he's wide open. I can see it clear as day. It's exactly what happened to me."

"How did you and Emmett meet?" Alice asked. Suddenly very curious about how Rosie and Emmett came to be this perfect little family.

"He was at MIT, I was at Boston University. A brainy, brawny guy, who was hopelessly uncoordinated just threw me for a loop. He's the sexiest nerd I'd ever seen. We met at my twenty-first birthday party. I'll tell you all about that _and_ all about my brother on our lunch date tomorrow." Rosie invited slyly.

Alice was starting to fall in deep like with Rosalie Hale. "You're asking me out on a date? But we just met, and I'm seeing someone."

"So, what? I'm married. It's not cheating if they know."

"So, are you going to tell Emmett?"

"No. " Rose giggled. "Are you going to tell Jasper?"

"No, I want to cheat. What he doesn't know won't hurt him. So what time?"

"Noon. Where do you want to go?"

"The ferry building, at the caviar place. We'll have champagne and caviar on a Monday afternoon."

"Decadent, but I like it."

"Then, it's a date."

Just then Jasper and Emmett returned to the table, loaded down with platters. Alice jumped up to help, and took the basket of buttered rolls from Emmet's big hands.

"Oh, these smell divine!" Alice exclaimed.

"My secret recipe." Emmett swelled with pride; as a matter of fact, if Emmett's chest puffed any bigger he would easily pop a button or two.

"They're his butter biscuits." Rosie explained. "They're addictive. That's why I married this guy. His butter biscuits bring all the girls to the yard." She snorted.

"They're perfect for sopping up the au jus." Emmett informed her.

Jasper had laid out the glazed carrots and Spinach salad. Emmett whipped the cover off the garlic mashed potatoes, waving them under his wife's nose. "Ta da!" he said "Get a whiff of that, baby."

"Oh, Emmett. You know what those do to me." She groaned.

Jasper looked at Alice with a twinkle in his blue eyes, "Ignore them, Alice. I do. If they're not careful, we'll hear the pitter patter of baby number three, soon."

"Oh no way." Rose corrected him. "I've retired. You're next. I want a niece or a nephew to play with these two."

All three eyes turned to Alice. "I'm not in this conversation at all." She put her hands up to ward off the suggestive gazes.

"Yes, you are." Rosie laughed.

"Nope. Garlic potatoes do nothing for me." She laughed.

"That's because you haven't tried these." Emmett said. "These are orgasmic."

"What's gasmic, Daddy?" Zachary piped up. Everyone fell silent, looking at Emmett to see how he would dig his way out.

"Oh it means, umm, something that is very good."

Rosie eyes widened and she shook her head at her husband.

"Chocolate cake is gasmic?" Zach asked innocently as Rosie shook her head even more emphatically.

"Err, no Zach. Gasmic means healthy." Rosie said scrambling to shut his train of thought down.

"Oh. Broccoli is gasmic?"

"Yes. But that's not the best word to use, little man. A better word is nutritious." Rosie nodded encouraging Emmett to use a different adjective.

"I like gasmic. Gasmic! Gasmic! Gasmic!" Zach chanted.

The adults at the table sat as if spellbound, watching Zach as he raised and lowered his knife and fork in his clenched fists, thumping it up and down on the table.

"Well, we've screwed up again." Rosie said, dejectedly shaking her head. "I'll bet any of you a million dollars that this kid will need therapy by the time he's ten."

Alice looked at Jasper, his eyebrows raised and a slight smirk played around his lips as his eyes darted from Zach to Alice. Rosie sighed and shrugged mashing potatoes in Emma's plate and feeding it into her waiting mouth. Emmett tucked in and having tried the potatoes, he rolled his eyes heavenward. Other than Zach's chanting the only sounds in the room was the clinking of cutlery on china. The laughter bubbled up in her until she could hold it in no longer, and she finally had to release it. The giggles came out, tripping one over the other until Jasper joined in. Then a chuckle from Emmett and then finally Rose.

The adults laughed as they ate, until Zach stopped chanting and looked up to ask, "Wha's so funny?"

#

After dinner, Alice helped the men as they cleared the table while Rosie led the kids back into the living room. Within five minutes the dishwasher was on and the kitchen tidied, and they joined Rosie and the kids. Emmett flopped onto the couch and snuggled up to Rosie where she sat singing softly with Emma on her lap. Alice could almost make out a familiar song.

"Rosie, what are you singing?"

"Baby Beluga. It's one of Emma's favorite."

"It used to be my sister's favorite song when she was little. My mom would put it on and Bella would whirl around and laugh like crazy. I have to confess even when I became too old for Raffi, I used to sneak and listen to him."

"Raffi is like the Michael Jackson of the younger crowd, that's for sure." Rosie said with a smile.

Alice went to sit on the loveseat and Jasper sat down next to her. Reaching for her hand and turning it over in his. Alice smiled up into his eyes as he softly stroked her palm. "What is _your_ favorite lullaby?" He asked her.

"I guess it's _"All I Really Need."_ My mom used to sing it and dance around the house with Bella in her arms and me holding on to her skirt."

"Sing, sing." Zach chanted

Emma slid down from Rosie's lap and climbed onto Jasper's. "Sing." she said as she looked up into blues eyes that were very much like her own.

"Okay little one. We'll sing a song for Alice."

Emma and Zach clapped and as if by magic Rosie thrust a guitar in Jasper's hands, and lifted Emma in her arms and handed her to her father .

"You play?" Alice asked, stunned. How did she not know that he played the guitar?

Rosie answered for him as he tuned it. "Jasper sings for his supper every Sunday. He sings the kids to sleep after we eat."

Jasper teased her and Emmett. "You guys too. I sometimes have to tiptoe out of here Alice, because the whole McCarty clan have been known to fall asleep to my magic guitar. So be warned, I may have to carry you out of here, I hear it's like a drug."

And he started playing Alice's favorite. _"All I really need is a song in my heart..."_

And Alice joined in, _"…food in my belly and love in my family._."

Rosie hummed a little as she stroked Zach's hair from his forehead and his eyelids started to dip.

Emma had a thumb in her mouth as she leaned against her Daddy's chest. Alice and Jasper sang together in perfect harmony. When the song was done he leaned into her and gave her a quick peck on the lips. "You missed your calling Ms Swan. You would have made a great back-up singer for Raffi's jamming band."

She laughed, "Maybe you and I should become the next Peter, Paul and Mary , minus Peter."

"I don't know about that, singing ain't my thing. But harmonizing with you is always a good thing."

"Hey, man watch your mouth. Is there a double entendre in there?" Emmett scolded. "There are young kids here, ya know."

"Okay, you get your kid to chant orgasm but I can't say harmonize?"

"It's the _way_ you said it that makes it lascivious." Emmett teased.

"Right."

"Uncle J?" Zach said sleepily, followed by a great big yawn. "Can you sing _my_ favorite?"

"Of course, little bud." Jasper promised. _"Puff the magic dragon, lived by the sea..."_

By the time the song ended both Emma and Zach were fast asleep. "Thanks." Emmett whispered to Jasper as he rose up with little Emma in his arms. "Mission accomplished." he winked and he walked off with Emma.

"Yes, thanks." Rose whispered to Alice, "Because of Jasper, Sunday nights are the easiest bedtimes. Every other night these two take forever to fall asleep." Zach stirred and they all hushed for a bit, until Emmett came back into the room and picked up his son to cart him off to bed.

"I'd better get to bed myself." Alice said as she stood up. "I have work in the morning and my boss is a stickler for time." Alice snickered, knowing full well that she was the timely one and Jasper was habitually late. Jasper laughed along as he stood up next to her.

Rosie, still seated, looked from one to the other, trying to decipher the undercurrents. "Is he now? I always thought he was pretty flexible. From what he tells me he is the best loved boss in all of San Francisco."

Alice's glance flickered over to Rosie and then back to Jasper's. "Well that's true enough, all the women in the office seem to have a little crush on him." She teased. "Especially Jessica."

He smiled at her in return. "You've captured quite a bit of male interest yourself Ms Swan, don't go throwing rocks if your house is made of glass."

"I didn't say it was a bad thing, did I? I just made an observation that quite a few female hearts go pitter patter when you're in the office."

"Is one of those pitter pattering hearts yours?" He leaned down to whisper against her lips.

"Maybe, maybe not." She whispered back.

"I think that's a definite maybe." So involved were they in their own banter that they forgot that Rosie was even there. Jasper captured Alice's lips in a sweet long kiss, and Alice reached up and clenched his shirt in her fist, bringing him even closer.

The soft kiss continued, they did not move apart until the sound of a throat clearing alerted them back to the present. Emmett was smiling in the doorway and Rosie was positively beaming as she stared shamelessly from her seat on the couch.

"Wow!" Emmett said to Rose. "These guys better get going before they spontaneously combust here in our living room."

Alice felt heat all the way up to her ears and it wasn't just due to embarassment, it had a lot to do with how Jasper's kisses had made her feel.

"We're outta here. Goodnight guys." Jasper croaked as he grabbed Alice's hand in his and headed to the front door.

"Goodnight, Emmett. Goodnight Rose and thanks." Alice laughingly gasped out as Jasper hustled her out.

As they rushed out to the car, Rosie appeared at the front door and yelled out, "Alice, don't forget about the caviar!"

"Okley Dokley." she yelled back, giddy with excitement.

Jasper opened the car door for her and as she was getting in he asked her, "What was Rose saying about caviar?"

"Oh." Alice thought quickly as he walked around the car to the driver's side. By the time he sat behind the wheel she had her story. "While you were in the kitchen with Emmett, she and I were talking about some article I read on caviar. I told her that I'd send it to her."

"Oh. I didn't even know you like caviar."

"Love it. Especially with champagne. And you know how I love that!"

"Yeah, I remember." he smirked. "And I also remember what it does to you."

He drove the few blocks to her house and made it in under five minutes. He opened the car door and hustled her up the stairs. "Man, are you in a rush to get somewhere or what?" she muttered as she fitted the key into the lock.

Jasper reached up and snagged a bright yellow post it that was stuck to the front door fluttering in the slight breeze.

"The only place I have to be is right here with you." Placing his right hand behind her neck, he brought her face close to his. He stared into her bright eyes and with a groan he captured her lips in a hungry kiss. "I want in." He groaned. "Ask me in."

Alice's heart was knocking against the cage of her ribs. She needed to think. Fast. She did not want Jasper in Mike's bed. "I can't, Jasper. Bella is…"

"…out with a guy named Edward." He held the bright yellow post-it with the scribbled message between his two fingers.

"Oh! She is, huh?" Her heart was pounding now, it's a miracle she didn't have a coronary.

He brought his hand under her chin and lifted her face to look straight into her eyes. "Your house is empty. Ask me in. For a drink."

Yeah, right. He didn't want a drink. "B..b..but you're driving."

"I'll just wait a little before I leave. Ask me in."

"_Deflect, Alice, deflect and delay."_ she said to herself. "You're not a vampire, are you, Jasper? Do you need permission before crossing the threshold?"

He smirked. "I'm not a vampire, baby. Not unless vampires like to eat pussy and fuck all night long."

She swallowed heavily, the thought of her and Jasper screwing their brains out was at once tempting and daunting. "So is that what you want? Not a drink?"

"That's what I want. Ask me in so I can taste your honey and make you come."

"Jasper.."

"Don't think about it, Alice, just do it. Why is it so hard to ask me into your home? Into your bed?

"It's Mike's bed." She whispered. "It's not right."

He sighed. "Fine. Whatever. I won't fuck you on Mike's bed. I'll fuck you on the couch, or the floor, or the wall. Just ask me in, Alice."

She pushed open the door and walked inside. She turned toward him as he maintained his position on the porch.

"Ten seconds." He said, eyes narrowing and jaw clenching.

Alice held the knob tightly, the cool metal grounding her in the reality of what she was about to do. "Jasper, would you like to come in for a drink?"

He shook his head. "No. I don't want a drink."

"Jasper, would you like to come in? For me?"

"Yes, baby. I want to come in. For you. In you." He took her hand away from the knob and kicked the front door closed. He cupped her jaw in his hand as he pressed her into the wall. "Let me make you feel good. You know I can."

He kissed her with a driving need, wrapping his lips around hers, thrilling her with the slow stroke of his lecherous tongue, as it licked her mouth. His knee parted her thighs and he rubbed and pressed against the apex of her thighs, making her wet and ready in seconds.

He pulled his mouth from hers, kissing along her jaw up to the underside of her ear, licking her lobe. "I want to lick your little nub, here." He said as he ground his thigh onto her tingling clit. "You feel so good, Alice. You make me feel like no one else ever has." His mouth returned to hers and he nipped her bottom lip between his, making her moan with agonizing need.

At the sound of her moan he lifted her off the ground, her legs wrapped of their own accord around his waist. "Where to, baby?" he asked her, hoping she wouldn't change her mind yet again.

"K...k..kitchen." she stuttered as his teeth found her hardened nipple with unerring accuracy and nipped it through the velvet fabric of her dress. "The kitchen table." She reiterated.

Jasper lost no time in maneuvering them through the swinging door and settling her on the heavy oak table. He reached behind her and pulled at the zipper, she felt the cool rush of the room air against her back. In the rosy light of the setting sun he pulled her dress down her arms revealing her beautiful soft breasts, made even more erotic by the sheer black bustier she wore underneath. "What the fuck are you wearing?" he groaned out the question.

"A bra." she looked up at him from under lowered lashed, feeling the power shift over to her side of the equation.

"That's not a bra. That's a heart attack waiting to happen." He said, as he stared at her silky skin on peek-a-boo display under the sheer dotted fabric. He licked his lips and glanced up to her eyes for exactly one second before her nipples drew his eyes away again. "You're too beautiful." he whispered.

The power was all hers and she revelled in it as she laughed and pushed him away. "Sit over there, and shut up." She instructed, and he took fewsteps back and sat on a stool. "I don't want you ripping my pretty dress, so I'll have to take it off myself."

She stood in front of him, reached down to his knees and spread them wide, cupping her hand around his bulge and squeezing firmly. "You like that, baby?" She released her hold, unbuttoned his jeans and pulled the zipper down, opening the flap of fabric. "You're going to need the room." She whispered as she stroked him seductively, he didn't disappoint, his cock stiffened, reaching out of the narrow opening of his underwear. Alice bent her head and licked the silken tip. "Keep your pants on."

Alice stepped back two paces, the dress was already half way off, held up by only the black bow. She reached behind her back and tugged on one end pulling it slowly to the side, the skirt loosened and she shimmied out of it as it lay in a black and white froth at her feet. She stepped out of it and reached down to pick it up, carefully folding it over the back of a chair. "I love this dress, Jasper." She said matter of factly. One would almost think, by the sound of her voice, that she was shooting the shit and not standing in the middle of her kitchen in a black bustier, matching black point lace bikini, wearing a shiny black pair of Kate Spade pumps.

She turned to Jasper whose eyes had been glued to her magnificent ass that was barely covered by the black triangle of lace. "Would you like a little show, Jasper? A little cock tease? Hmmm?" she invited. "Look at these, baby." She trailed her fingers up her sides, caressing along her torso, reaching the upper edge of the bra, where her breasts swelled above the lace edging. "Do you want to see?" she asked and pulled the lacy cups down, tucking them under so that her tits and hardened nipples were showing. "Do you want a little lick?" she flicked her thumb over her stiff nipples. "Oooh, that feels so good." She squirmed, "But your mouth would feel so much better."

She then trailed her hands down her rib cage over the uncovered expanse of her tummy just above the low cut bikini. "But you would feel even better here." She said as she dipped one hand into her panty and cupped her pussy. "Let me take these off and show you." She offered as her hand reached for the lacy bands on her hips and tugged them down. She stepped out of her panties and sauntered over to stand in front of Jasper. She guided his hand over her lips and along the wet slit of her cunt. "You like?"

His lids were so low, she could barely make out his eyes, but the tell-tale flush on his cheeks and his cock standing at attention was proof of his arousal. "I like."

She reached over and folded her hand around the shaft of his hard cock. "So, I see."

And as she started to stroke him, squeezing and pulling, he moaned, and then covered her hand with his, halting it mid-stroke. "Don't, baby. I don't want to come like this."

She came close enough to him that her nipples were brushing against his blue button down shirt, and her lips feathered against his when she asked him. "How _do_ you want to come, then?

Quick as a wink, Jasper's hand reached between her thighs and with the index side of his hand rubbed her wet folds. "I want to come in your hot little cunt, baby."

Her lids dipped low over her sparkling green eyes as her breathing hitched and she gasped with pleasure. She leaned in and breached the centimeter that separated his lips from hers, running the wet tip of her tongue along the seam of his lips.

He opened for her and she slid her tongue in to taste and breathe in the flavor of him. Reaching his other hand between them, he played with her rosy nipple, tweaking and then pulling at it. Without quite knowing how it happened Alice felt the oak table behind the curve of her ass. "Turn around baby" he muttered against her lips.

"Huh?" Alice was lost in pleasured bliss, wallowing in the triple sensation of his tongue, thumb and hand as he stirred her up toward the coming orgasm.

His hands left their business to grasp her shoulders, "Turn around." And he twisted her and applied pressure at the base of her neck until she was spread-eagled over the kitchen table, her hands gripping the sides, and her ass pointed temptingly at Jasper's crotch. "Now that's a pretty fucking picture." He groaned out.

Alice heard the soft soosh of his jeans falling and the tear of a foil wrapper just seconds before she felt the head of his thick cock as he rubbed it up and down her moist folds. "Ready for me, baby?" he asked her.

"Yees." She groaned out her response, anticipating the moment when he would slide into her and fulfill the promise that his hands had made just minutes ago to her flesh.

His long fingers dug into the curve of her hipbones as he tugged her back towards him and he gave her all of him. His thick cock slid into her aching flesh instantly easing the longing but instantly increasing the feverish desire. Alice could not help the "Oh, yes, like that!" that tumbled with a gasp from her lips.

"You like this, baby? You like it like this?" He gasped out.

She nodded, and let out another breathless, "yes", before he tugged her back again, setting the rhythm for this night's dance. "I love it. God I love feeling you in me!" she groaned, as Jasper's body covered hers in a hovering embrace. She felt the rasp of the light scattering of blonde hair on his chest rubbing against her back as he snaked one arm around her middle and his hand reached down to where their bodies met and stroked her clit. She shuddered gripped by the building tightness, the giddy fervor. His other arm hand reached under to encircle her ribcage, the thumb of that hand stretched out to flick at one super-sensitive red nipple.

In, out, in. His cock slid inside her, reaching her pleasure points and spreading the delicious vibrating tingle throughout her cunt and out into her hips and up into her belly. Each thrust of him into her created massive waves of energy which pulsed up, and up and up, then through her until her whole body was one yielding mass of quivering electric current.

He set the pace and like an avenging angelic beast he held her captive beneath him, as she soared higher and higher. Her heart became a savage drumbeat, unbelievably loud to her ears; and then her panting, keening cries of pleasure reached their zenith when his teeth bit into the thin skin of the nape of her neck, just above the bony vertebra. And she came powerfully, clenching around his cock, she cried out in a rapture that was almost too painful to bear.

"Fuuck. Fuuck, oh God, fuuuck." She moaned, arching her back and taking him even deeper inside her pulsing core, wanting him to come, needing him to lose his control so that they would both be wrecked together.

Jasper groaned as he felt his release approaching. "Fuuck! Alice, nothing feels better than coming inside you." And he pumped twice more before he stilled, his hands sliding down her arms to hold both of hers beneath his on the oak table. Interweaving his fingers with hers, he whispered into the side curve of her neck, "I love you. Love you. You are everything to me. My whole world."

As he pulled out he turned her around in his arms and clasped her still trembling body tightly to his. "I want to sleep with you tonight, Alice. I don't want you to tell me to go home."

Suddenly Alice felt too tired to deny him. He was warm and he was here. He loved her, and she loved him. Maybe not the way that she loved Mike, but it was love nevertheless. Mike was gone and while that sad ache for him would always be in her heart, she couldn't bring Mike back. She had Jasper and he needed her like she needed him. "Let's go to bed, Jasper."

"Mike's bed?"

She shook her head. "My bed."

And Jasper kissed her all over, peppering her nose and her eyelids and her cheeks with little kisses, before finally reaching her lips. "I love you."

"I love you too." she whispered against his lips. Their lips fused and their tongues tangled, he drew back to peck at her lips and delved once more into her mouth, opening it greedily for his kiss.

After minutes, they were breathless, Jasper cupped her face between his hands. "Thank you for loving me Alice, and trusting me with your heart. I will never, ever do anything to make you regret giving your love to me. I will love you and cherish you forever and always." He promised.

And Alice knew in her heart he wouldn't disappoint her. She was just worried that she may disappoint him.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty

Alice and Jasper climbed into bed and as if by mutual consent, they did nothing but hold hands and talk into the wee hours of Monday morning. When Alice awoke it was to find that Jasper had gone home, leaving a quick note on the pillow next to her. _**"I made a pot of coffee but could not bring myself to wake you up. You looked so beautiful lying there, smiling in your sleep. Dreams of me, I hope. Take your time coming in to work, today. I have all day meetings. Dinner at seven? Don't say no."**_

Alice smiled and ran her hand through her tangled curls. _"I wonder if he realizes just how sexy he is when he's demanding."_ Her thighs trembled as she remembering the frantic fucking on the kitchen table. _"We're going to have to put that one on repeat."_ She said to herself, stretching lazily and rolling over to looked at the bedside clock. Her heart took a nose dive and she shrieked, "Aaah, I'm gonna kill him! It's fucking ten o'clock." Alice leapt out of bed and rushed to the shower. Twenty minutes later she was whizzing across the Bay Bridge, wet hair drying in the breeze, cursing Jasper under her breath.

At eleven a.m she tumbled into her office chair and reached for her ringing phone, a frantic Bella on the other end. "Oh God Alice, I'm so, so sorry, I never called you last night. I'm with Edward; I hope your weren't worried."

"Bella," Alice smiled to herself at Bella's frantic tone. As usual, her sister was worried about letting someone else down. "I kinda figured you were with him, I got your note."

"What note?" Bella's voice was puzzled. _Oh, yes_, Alice thought to herself, _Bella is so wrapped up in Edward Cullen that she doesn't know her left foot from her right."_

"The post-it you left on the front door. You said, and I quote, "Alice, I'm going out with Edward. I'll see you when I see you."

"Oh, good so you weren't worried at all?" Bella sighed in relief.

"Nope, not at all. He seems like a good guy, he'll take care of my little sis." Alice said breezily. "But when I see you again, I want the details. All of them."

"Okay." Bella whispered uncomfortably, Alice could almost hear her little sister's blush. They hung up and Alice broke out in a big smile. Her little sister was finding out what it meant to be shaken by love, and Alice was thrilled for her. _Finally,_ she thought, _Bella has started to live_. And it brought her back to thoughts of herself and Mike and Jasper. _I need to start living again too._

_#_

At noon, she was sitting at a table in the Ferry Building, sipping on some champagne and waiting for Rosie. The waiter had come over several times to inquire about her comfort, Alice was just starting to worry if Rosie was going to show up when the Big Kahuna herself darkened the doorway of the restaurant. Her face was hesitant as she searched the sea of faces for Alice. Rosie was a vision in a turquoise coat dress, which played up the color of her eyes, scarlet lipstick and red slingbacks. Very much one of the "ladies who lunch", Alice thought to herself.

Alice waved her over and a smile lit up Rosie's face as she caught Alice's eye. She sauntered over to the table, looking very much like a girl with a naughty secret. "Sorry, I'm late." Rose breathed as she neared. "The sitter was late, and well you know, traffic and all." She said airily.

"No prob, I was relaxing with a glass of champagne." Rupert, the very attentive waiter was ambling over and Alice asked Rose, "Here comes our waiter. What's your poison?"

"Just sparkling water for me, thanks." Rosie told Rupert with a winning smile. "But I do want to take a look at the menu for caviar, I'm so excited. I've been meaning to come here forever."

Rosie sat in the chair that he held out for her and he pushed it in. "Well, I'm hoping it will surpass your expectations. I'll be right back with your beverage and the menu." Rupert almost genuflected as he turned to leave.

"Well, well, well. You've certainly won Rupert over!" Alice teased.

"Pssh. I'm sure he was bowled over by you before I ever darkened the doorway." Rosie replied. "I'm pretty sure you had him twisted around your finger, giving you glasses of free champagne, didn't you?"

"Hah! I'll have you know that this is a business lunch. You, Miss McCarty, are meeting with me to talk about drawing up plans for a greener version of your second residence."

"Wha? Alice, I don't have a second residence!"

"Well, Fernan in accounting doesn't know that, so let's keep that little piece of info hush, hush. Okeedokes?" Alice winked.

"All righty, my lips are sealed." Rosie laughed as Rupert placed her water in front of her and handed her the menu. "Rupert?"

"Yes?"

"Would you be a sweetheart and recommend something for us?"

"What is your preference madam?"

"Rosie, call me Rosie. I like caviar but I've had it just a handful of times. I want to broaden my horizons, what do you suggest?"

"I suggest selection number three. The tsar's sampler comes with our most popular choices, you won't be disappointed."

"Lovely. That's what I'll have. Alice? What'll you have?"

"I think I'll have the tsarina plus the Parisian. We'll share."

Rupert smiled. "Wonderful, can I get you another glass of champagne, miss?" Alice nodded happily.

"Hey, how come she's "miss" and I'm "ma'am", Rupert?"

"You have a wedding ring, ma'am."

Rosie. "So? Do I look like a ma'am?"

"No ma…, no Miss.

"Good answer, Rupert. I prefer to be called 'miss' and not 'ma'am.'"

"Yes, miss."

"But I prefer you to call me Rosie, okay? I'm pretty sure I'll be coming here a lot if it lives up to my expectations, so don't disappont me Rupert." Rosie flirted shamelessly with the old man.

"I won't Miss Rosie." Rupert grinned.

"Okay. Thank you Rupert." And the smile Rosie gave Rupert made the older man's heart beat faster than it had in years. He hurried away to fill their orders.

"Thank you, that was better than watching Kim Basinger channelling Veronica Lake."

Rosie laughed. "That's exactly what I was going for. I have to keep honing my charm, or I'm afraid I'll lose it to hausfrauness." she chuckled. "You won't believe how good it feels to get dressed up and come out for lunch. I love being a mom, but god I miss being a bombshell."

Alice laughed. "Well, to hear Emmett talk you're the only woman in the world, so you have nothing to complain about."

Rosie smiled contentedly. "I know I'm adored, believe me. But sometimes it's good to get public affirmation."

"Believe me I know. I'm a flirt from way back. So, tell me about you and Emmett."

"What about us?" Rosie giggled.

"You promised to reveal all, and I'm curious."

"Well, when we met I was a young student at Bostun U and I was dabbling in same sex love."

"Oooh! Really? Do tell me more." Alice rubbed her palms together in anticipation. "And make it as lurid as possible."

Rose snorted. "Sorry, babe. Nothing too lurid happened, except in my head. But I'll start from the beginning. I know that Jasper said he doesn't keep secrets from you, but I don't know how much Jasper has told you about our early years."

"He told me about your Dad and Mom, Royce and Auralee Whitlock and how she died and that you were adopted by the Hales."

"Well. As you can imagine we were both in therapy for avery long time. We came out of those experiences pretty shell-shocked. I don't have plenty memories of Texas but the few memories I do have are nightmarish. As I grew older my therapist and Jasper helped to put those flashbacks in perspective, but the upshot was that as I reached adulthood, I became terrified of relationships with men. I ascribed all of my mom's suffering to her obsession and dependence on her husband and I decided that I would never, ever be like that. I kept all the boys in high school away by being one of them. I flirted, but nothing serious. I decided that I would be an independent single woman. So when I set off for college I was determined to keep steering clear of relationships."

Rupert arrived with the most delectable savory platters and the women dug in with relish. They mmm'd and ooh'd and aah'd over the delectable orbs of salty delight. Once their palates were satisfied, Rosie continued with her story.

"It just so happened that the very first day I arrived at the dorms, I pretty much attracted the attention of a bunch of priveleged jocks. And you know how that can be. They stood there and stared at me as I unloaded my junk from the taxi. They ogled and leered at me. They were imbibing freely, and I was so scared of that drunken nasty behavior that I had no idea how to laugh it off. They reminded me so much of Royce that I wanted to hurl. I felt like one big sore thumb, uncomfortable and pulsing with pain.

They gathered around me offering to help me and I told them no. So they stood there and watched as I tried to get everything to my room. Yelling out stuff like "Are you sure you don't want a man's help with that, baby?" and "Don't play so hard to get." And anyway before long other people were paying attention and I was even more mortified. Finally this young girl came to my rescue. She asked me what room I was in and then she called some of her girlfriends over and we managed to get away from those jerks. But they continued to jeer us and were just yucking it up. One of them stood real close behind me and told the others that I had a fine plump ass, just the right size for riding. That was it. The girl who rescued me got between us and told him if he even though about riding me she was gonna fuck him up. He lunged at her and that was all the excuse she needed. She went all black belt on his ass and he wound up on the sidewalk looking like a jigsaw puzzle. I was stunned and thrilled."

"I bet. What a fucking jerk. I'm surprised you didn't get in on the action. I would have punched him in the nuts." Alice seethed.

"I didn't even think about it. The girl was a sophomore and she was a dyke and she was awesome. I wound up having a big crush on her. Annette Melendez was tall, on the swim team so she had wide shoulders and so androgynous. Here she was, this exciting Dominican chica, who knew how to salsa and merengue and play the violin and how to kiss like nobody's business, I fell in love.

I flirted with her for months, bringing her morning lattes and pastries. Then little gifts and then offering her foot massages. Eventually I got in the habit of giving her a kiss hello and a kiss good-bye; occasionally slipping her a little tongue. I became besotted with her. I wanted her to be my first, so I found any excuse to knock on her door.

I threw myself at her. Whiling away many afternoons, in her dorm room. Making my move and kissing her. And the way she kissed turned me to jelly and I knew it would be so good when we finally did it." Rosie let out a sigh, remembering her first love, blue eyes twinkling and Alice was in awe.

Alice shook her head and said, "Wow, for no sex that was pretty lurid, so hurry up and get to the good stuff."

"Nothing happened. She was leery of getting into a relationship with someone like me, someone who wasn't sure what she was and what she wasn't. But I was persistent, I'd made up my mind that I would get her. I wanted Annette so badly. She never budged though. She told me that she didn't want her heart broken by me, because if we ever had a relationship and I left her for a man it would fuck her up for sure. She knew, better than I, that I was not a lesbian. I was playing at it because it was new and exciting and safe.

Anyhow, skip forward a couple years. I go out with her and we're at the "G-Spot" and I'm having a blast. I'm whooping it up trying my best to seduce the ever elusive Annette Melendez. I am wearing a teeny weenie sequin tank top and even teenier satin shorts. I'm all done up like a hooch and rubbing up against her on the dance floor. It was my birthday for god's sake and I made up my mind that I would get her for my birthday present. If it came right down to it, I planned to beg her for it. I wanted to lose my v-card and I wanted to lose it to the girl of my dreams.

She let me kiss her and practically make love to her on the dance floor. I was so into this chick I didn't really pay attention or notice that we were attracting a lot of attention. About half-way through the night she disappeared. I looked all over for her and found her outside on the back patio of the club with another girl. When I found her she was in a hot and heavy clinch. I was so hurt. I'd thought I had a chance. I went over to them and I started a scene. I pulled that little puta away from my girl and I was going to fucking kick her ass. Annette stepped in front of the little bitch and stopped me. She told me that she wasn't interested in straight girls and that I should go find myself a nice guy. I was so furious that I marched over to the bartender, the only male bartender in the place mind you, and I yanked him towards me and gave him a kiss to rock his world. I wanted to show Annette what she was missing.

That guy happened to be Emmett. Bartender and bouncer, hired because he was buffed and because they needed him to get rid of any icky guy who came in the club to hit on the women.

He was a friend of Ouida, the owner of the club, who knew that Emmett would never try anything with a dyke. So he pushed me away. I was mortified and I ran outside the club. There I was standing outside in my shiny top and shorts, looking like a cheap hooker. Emmett came outside and found me, he told me that I was beautiful and that my stupid girlfriend didn't deserve me. He told me that there are plenty of wonderful girls out there for me and that I didn't need to bed a guy to get over her.

I was so surprised I started to laugh. Annette was telling me I was straight and Emmett was telling me that I was a lesbian, the irony of it. Anyway, I didn't have a ride home and he offered me one, if I was willing to wait a little. He phoned a friend to cover for him and then he took me home. We stayed in the car and talked until the sun came up.

I told him all about my unrequited love for Annette and he suggested that maybe I'd wanted her because she was "safe" and out of my reach. That's when it hit me, I finally realized that he was right. That was the big draw. I wanted her because I couldn't get her and I had a ready-made excuse to avoid a real relationship, whether gay or straight.

Em turned out to be so sweet, and understanding and I swear I was shocked when he opened the car door for me and escorted me to my dorm. He told me that I should wait for the real thing to come along and he was about to leave and I just needed to keep in touch, I didn't want him to disappear. Figuring he was gay, I asked for his number, and I told him that I just needed a friend, someone to hang with.

Anyway we hung out a lot after that. He proved to be a real nice guy. He would cook dinner for me and his flat was impeccably clean. Sometimes we would go to a play or the museum. He confessed that he had no interest in sports or cars or any typical guy stuff. Soon he became my best bud and we hung out all the time and I realized that he wasn't seeing anyone. After a while I started looking for guys to fix him up with. I found this sweet guy, Jamie, at the library and I invited him for coffee. I invited Emmett too and I was so excited to have them meet each other. Imagine the hilarity when they both realized what I was trying to do. They were both straight." Rosie snorted. "And they were very, very offended."

"Oh god! Woman, you are so clueless. No wonder you were such a horrible dyke." Alice cackled. "I bet women were eyeing you all the time and you just thought they wanted to be friends."

"Please, Alice. You obviously don't know me. I've got a big old ego, believe me. It's just that I was so sure Em was gay. In all the time we had been hanging out, he never once said or did anything remotely suggestive. And I liked him more than just a little, but when I flirted he was just so …unresponsive."

"Really? Maybe you just misread his signals."

Rosie gave her the stink eye. "There were no signals to misread. None. Once, after we had gone out to the movies, I let him crash on my roomie's bed. She was gone for the weekend, and I knew she wouldn't mind. I got up early the next morning and took a shower and came back into the room wrapped in nothing but a teensy weensy towel and Em just looked at me and asked me if the bathroom was free. When I nodded, he borrowed a towel and went to take a shower. I waffled, wanting to stay naked and tempt him but afraid that he would reject me. He took so long, by the time he came back I was dressed , and he looked relieved. He even said something like, "Oh good you're ready to go."

"Mmm. Wow. Did you ever ask him what he was thinking?"

"Well, years later he told me that he had a big hard on and had to relieve himself in the shower. He was afraid of coming on too strong and ruining our friendship."

"So what happened after the Jamie and Emmett meeting?"

"It was so hilarious, I started laughing like crazy. I think I almost peed my pants. Jamie cussed me up and down and hightailed it outta there muttering that I was nuts. Emmett stayed and looked so crushed. When I finally stopped laughing and calmed down, he asked me why I thought he was gay.

I basically told him what I told you; one- he didn't have a girlfriend, two-he never indicated that he was even interested in a woman, three-he never made a move, no matter how I tried, four- he liked to cook and do chick stuff, and five- he went to the gym, like all the time. I thought he was trying to snag a guy.

He called me a stupid idiot and ditched me at the coffee shop.

I came to my senses and ran after him and told him that I liked him, a lot. An hour later we were wrapped in his 350 count sateen sheets, doing the nasty. Well, as nasty as two virgins could get. We were holed up at his place for three whole days. I don't think we came up for air let alone food." Rosie giggled.

"Oh man!Score! Emmett! So the rest is history."

"It wasn't smooth sailing believe me. I gave poor Em a run for his money. After a few weeks and the rosy glow wore off, I realized I could really fall in love with him and I panicked. I avoided him for days, making excuses about term papers and studying. I steered clear of him until summer break and then I flew back home. I was scared shitless."

"Why?"

"Like I told you. I was traumatized by my early childhood, damaged. I didn't want to lose myself in someone else. I spoke to my dad, and told him that I wanted to transfer to Stanford. He was ecstatic, you see he was all alone by then. My mom had passed away just before I graduated from high school. He missed her terribly and he missed me. Jasper was starting his company and working ridiculous hours, my dad rarely got to see him.

"How sad." Alice offered. Thinking again of how the years had been so unfair to a wonderful man like Nick Hale. "So you ran away from Emmett."

"I sure did. Dad pulled a few strings and come fall, I started at Stanford. Em called me constantly so I changed my number. At first I was relieved that it was over, relieved that I'd managed to get out of it before I could be hurt. Then, as time went on, I became despondent; I missed him, I missed talking to him and I missed seeing him and most of all I missed the feeling of having someone I could share myself with. So after the relief, came grief. I literally mourned the loss of mine and Em's relationship. He was someone I had truly come to enjoy and trust.

I closed up even more. I didn't want to see my old friends, I threw myself into my studies, it was a stellar semester, academically. But I lost weight and cried a lot. When Jasper saw me at Christmas he was shocked. He thought the pressure to succeed at Stanford was too much for me to handle and he spoke to my dad about talking me into taking a break from school. A few days later, when Dad approached me I just lost it. I cried and cried and he could barely understand a word that I was saying. I was wailing to him about Em. All he heard was I had fallen into bed with Em and he got it all wrong. He thought Em had used me and broken my heart.

He comforted me, telling me it would all work out for the best, but underneath the calm he was livid. I think he was reliving the nightmare of Auralee and Royce and he was beyond pissed. So without my knowing it, Dad called Jasper and told him that Em had done a number on me. Jasper, being the overprotective big brother, booked a flight to Boston to go and fuck Em over. I didn't find out until it was almost too late, I raced over to his place before he could fly out and I told him that _I_ had left Em; that _I_ was the one who had used him. That's when it all came out; my fear of being in a relationship, my fear of turning out like my mother. Jasper and Dad sat there and listened to my screwed up tale.

At the end of it, Dad convinced me to speak to Emmett and give him a chance. The Hales don't do things by half measures so we went to see Em in person. Jasper and I flew to Boston right after New Year's, I was so nervous. But I knew my Dad was right. I had been horrible to Emmett and he had only ever been sweet to me, I needed to make amends or at the very least explain why I had disappeared. After Jasper and I got settled in at the hotel, I took a cab to his place. I wasn't even sure if Emmett was still living there, I hadn't spoken to him in months."

"And was he?"

"I asked the super. Gino said that Em was still there but that he didn't have regular hours, sometimes he didn't see him for days. So, I waited on the stoop, freezing my ass off. But I didn't want to miss him. And I figured it was what I deserved. Any how, when I spotted him coming down the street, I almost ran. It took all my strength to stand there and wait. But the moment he spotted me I knew it would be all right."

Alice smiled, conjuring up an image of Emmett and Rosie, meeting again in front of his building. "Soooo. What did he say?"

"All of a sudden he had this gorgeous smile and then he pulled me up into his arms for a hard hug and said, _**"Rosalie Hale, you are never leaving me again, got that?" **_and I said, **_"Never again, as long as I live."_**

"Rosie, if I were a sap, I'd be reaching for a napkin and wiping my eyes right about now." Alice sniffled.

"Here ya go, sappy." Rosie teased as she handed her a hankie.

"Who the hell has a hankie in their purse, Rose?"

"Me. I collect aprons and hankies and scarves. My mother loved that stuff. She was raised in the fifties. I love that era."

"By your mother, I guess you mean Mrs Hale."

"Uhuh. I always call Auralee my mom. Edie was my mother, my rock."

"Jasper doesn't refer to Auralee as anything but Auralee. I think that's so sad."

Rosie reached over and covered Alice's hand with hers. "You have to understand, Alice, Jasper was much more damaged by his childhood than I was. He lived it everyday for thirteen years. He was beaten, all the time, by the man who was supposed to love him. He was betrayed by Auralee. She never protected him. Honestly, I think it's a miracle Jasper is as well adjusted as he is."

"Why can't he forgive her? I can't help it Rosie, I wonder what kind of man can't refer to his mother as his mother. I feel it says so much about him."

"Maybe it does, Alice. But think about it, will you? A kid so beaten and scarred, with a murderer for a father, managed to make a successful life for himself. People admire him and care about him. The worst thing you can say about him is that he can't forgive his mother. But maybe that's not it. Maybe he can't forgive himself."

#

That night Alice and Jasper had a fantastic meal at Chez Panisse. Three hours later they walked hand in hand down Shattuck, the twinkling lights on the trees giving the chilly air a Christmas feel.

Alice mused, "Once I left here I realized how magical this place is. Here it is, almost July, and the rest of country is sweltering and we're wearing sweaters walking down a street strewn with Christmas lights."

"The Bay area is pretty near perfect." Jasper admitted, tucking her into the curve under his sheltering arm.

"Mmmhmm. And Berkeley is even better. It's so quiet, at ten at night. Almost all the stores are shuttered. Nothing opened past midnight. I feel like I'm in "Goodnight Moon." This town rounds itself in sleep every night. I loved the hustle of New York when I was there, but I can never be happy anywhere else but here. This is my home."

"I love it too. I can imagine raising kids here, taking them to Cordonices Park and the Rose Garden."

"Riding the carousel and the steam train at Tilden, like I did when I was little."

"Eating at Michelin-rated restaurants like Chez Panisse or grubbing on Falafels at Bongo. Having Alicha and Fitfit at Colucci or Vindaloo at Chaat."

"Sailing in the Bay or hiking in the hills, we've got so much. We've got it all."

After a few more minutes walking, Jasper came to a stop by the dimly lit bear fountain. "We can have it all. And I want to have it all with you , Alice." He got down on one knee and Alice started to tremble. He reached into his pocket and pulled out an enormous lime green lucite ring, the size of a small light bulb.

Alice started to laugh. "What on earth are you doing you crazy man?"

"I know you're not ready yet, so it's not an engagement ring. It's a promise-to-think-about-it ring. Do you accept?"

"I do." she giggled. And he gently slipped the bauble on her ring finger, then kissed her palm.

"Never take it off." he told her.

She giggled again. "I have to Jasper, or else I'll knock myself out."

"Okay, wear it as much as you can."

"I will. I promise."

They made a right turn and walked up into the hills to the little purple Victorian; to the dark room, the big wooden bed and the cool white sheets that were waiting for them.

Alice and Jasper made love once they'd climbed into the big wooden bed. His body bowed over her as he kissed down her chest and belly until he reached his place. He went down on her as though it was the last time he would taste her. Licking with his warm tongue and then blowing cool air and then sucking, his rough tongue pulled her upward, downward, spinning her into a whirlpool of tactile sensation. Alice cried out and begged for him to never stop. "Oh yesss, baby. Oooh, God that's it, Jasper."

Her thighs lay open, trembling. Her legs moved restlessly as they draped over his broad shoulders. Closer and closer ecstasy beckoned and when it came, the sweet, pulsing orgasm plunged her into ecstasy causing her to clamp her thighs around him and scream his name, "Jasper, oh god, Jasper!" His hoarse masculine laugh stirred delight in her and her loving response came out in a breathy gasp of his name, "Oh Jasper." Jasper parted her thighs again to bathe her in his warm wet kisses, continuing the sweet torture.

As he lay between her thighs, in the shaft of moonlight , Alice noticed that the silvery blue glow seemed to paint him in an erotic other-worldly hue. She was transfixed by the vision of him, a blue tinted angel. She remembered how she'd often called Michael her angel, and it occurred to her that Jasper was now her guardian angel, rescuing her from a half lived life. Her fingers moved of their own volition over his white-blond locks and along his jaw, touching him all over, as if to reassure themselves that he was real. As if to anchor herself to Jasper and the here and now. "You're too far away. Come up here and kiss me, please." She whispered.

He kissed his way back up her body until he reached her lips and he covered them oh so sweetly. Pulling away, he whispered against her lips, "I love making love to you, Alice. I feel so fucking good when you scream my name, baby." Her heart throbbed at his words and she pulled his bottom lip into hers, nipping and then sucking.

"You make me feel so good too, Jasper." He groaned and buried his mouth in hers, sucking every bit of her breath into his mouth.

As they kissed she became aware that he was easing his body into hers and with a groan he started moving. In mere moments he'd led her again to the brink of delicious, heart-stopping satisfaction. His biceps rippled with movement and he became slick with sweat as he flexed his hips in and out. Sensation piled on sensation until Alice was sure she had never felt this level of pure bliss. If every once in a while her thoughts guiltily strayed to Mike she reeled them back before she could lose herself to the encroaching sorrow. _How is it possible to feel so heart-full and so heartsick at one and the same time?_ She asked herself. She pushed those thoughts aside to gaze into Jasper's face, so full of love and tenderness for her.

But when he finally fell asleep, the sorrow came back in full force. She lay awake thinking about Mike. Her heart hurt and the tears fell silently, wetting her hair and the pillow beneath her. Mike was everywhere. He was in this room and in this bed and in her blood. She could still feel his vibration, his life, his breath in the air surrounding her. She wondered if this was how her mother felt for all those years, sleeping in the same bed she had shared with her husband. No, she had never truly appreciated Renee's loneliness and sorrow. But while she loved her mother and could now understand her, she also realized that she did not want to live that way. She wanted to laugh and live and love. She wanted children and grandchildren. She wanted a full life.

So, although her heart didn't want to, she accepted that she had to let Mike go. But it was hard. "Why, God, why?" she whispered as she rolled onto her side and away from Jasper. "Why does it still hurt this much?" she whispered to the darkness. After a few more minutes, she eased out from under Jasper's arm, and reached for her lavender silk robe, the one that Mike had given her for her birthday.

She wandered over to the big window that overlooked the backyard and sat on the window seat in the soft dappled stream of moonlight.

"Will I always feel this way? Will my heart never truly heal?" she asked aloud. Her quiet words bounced off the walls and she swung her head to see if Jasper had heard them. More than anything she didn't want to hurt him, it would break her heart if he ever found out how much she still yearned for Mike. "I want to move on. I must." She told herself. "And maybe if I pretend I have, I eventually will."

She looked out and up into the starry night sky, like a little faithful child, wondering if her mother and father and Mike were looking down on her. She closed her eyes and said a little prayer, the first prayer she'd uttered in over twenty years, asking for their love and for her husband's blessing.

"Please Dear God, help me. Make this easier. Show me how. Mom, Dad, if you're there, please take care of Mike. I love him so much. Mike, please forgive me for letting you go. I never wanted to, I wish we had forever. Oh Mike, I have to choose to live. Please understand. I love you, I love you. I still love you." Just then she heard the soft sound of Mike's breath in her hair. She wasn't sure if it was her mind or wishful thinking, or if it was real, but she heard Mike's voice whisper her name. Her heart soared and she felt giddy. Suddenly the words of Ecclesiastes came to her, words that she had forgotten long ago.

In that moment she had clarity, "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven. A time to be born, a time to die...a time to weep, a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance," echoed in her brain. Searching back through time for the words brought her a measure of peace she hadn't felt in a long time. She was on the cusp, in between her wintry season of mourning and her springtime of dance; slowly moving through it and Jasper was her sun, lighting her way.

As she was finishing her prayer she felt rather than heard Jasper stir. "What are you doing over there?" he asked huskily. "Come back to me, baby." Alice, made a sign of the cross and whispered a quick, soft "amen" and walked over to the bed to crawl into her lover's arms. "Is everything okay?" he asked her as he tucked her into the crook of his arm, spooning her and resting his chin on the top of her wild curls.

"More than okay." She responded as she snuggled into the warm curve of him.


End file.
